Another love letter...forgive me I'm smitten

OK…this love letter thing is kind of fun. It’s like Sweeps for the networks during rating season. Nothing gets the readership up more than conflict with the former wife or the love letters. So we’ll just go with the love letters. By the way, many of you have sent wonderful congratulatory emails. I really do appreciate your care and support. So without further adieux, here’s another love letter.

Good morning Sweetheart,

I love you and I am so committed to you. I re-read your emails while you were sleeping and they just broke my heart. Not because I was upset at you, but rather because you were hurting so bad. Im sorry I couldn't be there to immediately comfort you and assure you. Im certain your panic attack was of the enemy. Its just rather ironic that two people Im very close to had such intense spiritual oppositional encounters within hours of each other. I've learned to take spiritual warfare to a whole different level and I think Im called to help other people "armor up". That would be a good name for a book wouldn't it. Its clear to me that you and I jenni are going to make an amazing couple. I just have never met anyone quite like you, and I think of myself as unique too...D'oh..I just fell into pond after admiring my reflection. I think God brought us together to make like a type of "super" couple. I have always felt a special annointing on my life that I was going to do something spectacular for His kingdom. Like God was preparing me for great great things. I thought Los Angeles would be the place where those things would take place. When I left Los Angeles in 2001, I was hurting...and hurting bad. Not only was my marriage in trouble (the first time) I left there defeated. All these years believing that God had special plans for me were gone. I felt like God had abandoned me. I wondered where He was in all of this. Im not much of a fan of that footprints in the sand poem, but there was only one set of footprints. I thought I had to give up my dreams forever. In hindsight if I would have been more successful in Los Angeles, my personality would not be what it is today. I have a bit of an ego you see. I think I would have been full of myself. God knew that. I had to go back to school, so to speak and be grounded. The years between 2001-now, Have been incredible learning experiences for me in the school of God's ways. He taught me so much in that time. Primarily I learned what true spiritual intimacy is, and how to hear His voice. In Genesis it says that God walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the evening, that Moses saw God, Abraham was a friend of God, and David was a man after God's own heart. I understand all of those scenarios, because I feel that same closeness. I don't mean this to sound egotistical, but God often told me that I am a man after God's own heart like David was. Now I don't have anything theological to back this up, but I also got the impression that David was a sex addict like I used to be. If you look at the book of Psalms and see the anguish in David, his life is like a roller coaster of emotions. Its the same roller coaster I was on in the throes of my addiction. Plus addictions are sometimes hereditary, and with 700 wives and concubines, its an easy argument to make that Solomon also had his sexual addiction issues. OK...I say all that to say that between those years of growth, God was re-preparing me for a new life defined Him. The adage is behind every great man there is an even greater woman. My former wife stopped believing in me, thus I stopped believing in myself. I became stifled in my career and in my dreams. God used that horrible time of divorce to break me down and to build me up again the right way. He had to get me to believe in myself through Him again. Many wonderful things happened during that time that I'll have a lifetime to share with you. But one thing in particular happened. I had just moved back to California from Texas to take a job with LMA productions. I had lost my job a week earlier, and the very next day I got a job offer to return to California to work for my dear friend Thad Coberg. I was swimming in God's presence. It's like spiritually I was at the throne all the time. That is an amazing feeling, something I felt again and again through my divorce til now. So there I was just basking in the presence of God in my old room and He spoke very clearly to me. "Now that you are the man that I always designed you to be, things will start happening now. You are going to change the world." It didn't happen right away. It took another year of working through it. I believe that Bahrain was the first step towards that process. I've already changed the world for a few people here and there. But step two is going to be a bigger stage. This is where you come in. I need someone dynamic and incredible to be by my side if these improbable dreams in my heart are to come to pass. The fact that you are beautiful and sexy are just perks. But you and I, Jenni are about to embark on this amazing and incredible journey. This past year has been one thrilling year and probably the best of my life despite the loneliness and perpetual heartbreak. I just can't imagine how much fun it will be with someone I love by my side to experience this together. We can get that kayak built for two for example.

My amazing life will be a testimony to what happens to you when you remain faithful to God. Having you as my prize will be testimony to that. I won't be the luckiest guy in the world...but I certainly will be considered the most blessed.

I love you...and I can't wait to see you in three weeks.


Rick