Turning a corner?
It might not seem like it at first glance, but I feel like I’m turning a corner. Yesterday’s post I was wallowing in loneliness and despair, yet today I feel better. The spots of despair are becoming lessened while the spots of peace are becoming lengthened. This doesn’t mean that I won’t have my bad days, its just that the horrible days are finally becoming fewer and farther between. I’m not 50-50 between despair and peace just yet. But by my unscientific calculations (guess) I am 25% Peace and 75% despair. That might not seem like much but for months it was 5% peace to 95% despair with some days being as low as 1-2% peace. You see I really love(d) my wife/family. Having them ripped away (I realize that it was my doing) felt like my skin being ripped away emotionally speaking. Those were rough times which I NEVER want to experience again. So even from going from 5% to 25% is a marked improvement and I’ll take it. Hopefully tomorrow ...