Rick Beeman

  It was another good day.  I think I’m starting to get  a new streak and into a new groove.  What is lacking in my life is an identity.  I keep thinking about the identity I used to be, Husband, Father, Teacher, Creator.  Now that my labels have changed the adjustment period has been challenging.  I’m trying to remake my identity into something more solid.  1. Child of God, 2. Father, 3. Teacher 4. Creator   It’s that old parable of Jesus and the song I remember from Sunday School “The Wise Man builds his house upon the Rock, The foolish man builds his house upon the Sand, When the Rains come the house on the sand goes Splat.” Keep your identity on something solid and that you can control.  While you can’t control God obviously he is faithful and will always keep his promises.  That is what I’m counting on.  Old habits are hard to break.  It’s just been a challenge to redefine myself largely because I didn’t want to do so...

  I mentioned yesterday that I thought I was turning a corner.  Well today was better than yesterday so we are headed in the right direction.  I’m trying to be very brutally honest in this forum.  I do that as both an encouragement to others and to help call my shot when God will redeem me from the pit that I dug myself.  There is no doubt that this wallowing is a temporary space for me.  I am slowly feeling my optimism come back.  Why?  Did anything change?  No, just my perception has changed.  In seeking God whole-heartedly I’m starting to see my identity change.  What was so devastating for me this past year was losing my identity.  I so loved being a husband and a father, but suddenly when I wasn’t, who was I?  Did I have value, did I matter?  Was it always going to be this way?   My entire life I’ve battled with my identity.  While I’m a life-long Christian, that hasn’t always been my primary ident...