Thursday, December 31, 2009

Best new year's ever!

What a great new year’s it was. I think, it was probably one of the best new year’s experiences for me ever. It’s a fitting end to what has truly been a remarkable a year. A year that God showed his faithfulness to me time and time again. It was a year where I reaped what I had sown the previous four years. Professionally and Spiritually it was my best year ever. Psychologically, it was a big comeback year. Healthwise, I’ve never been more fit, or mentally, more attune. The only thing I really didn’t peak at was emotionally. Im still tired of living alone. But I just have to trust God that it will change soon. I think each part of loneliness today, will be multiplied into 10 parts of joy tomorrow. That is just the way that God works. That’s why he holds all your tears in a bottle and counts them.

I had several options where to go for New Year’s tonight. But the television show Im trying to get off the ground, Rock N Royal. Seemed to be the best bet. Hassan’s, the musician, manager invited me to a club event on Al Dar Island. These are Hassan’s islands, I spoke about them before. So he put me on the guest list and wanted me to call him when we got to the port so he could shuttle me in on his private boat. I had an extra ticket, so I invited Lamond along. Lamond Murray, you may remember me mentioning him, played 13 years in the NBA for the Clippers, Raptors, and Nets. He also went to Cal and played with Jason Kidd. I remember when I lived in LA watching Cal beat UCLA in Pauley Pavilion breaking a 18 game losing streak (or something like that) So I was always kind of fan. Now here he is, my friend, that is kind of cool. So while we are waiting at the boat for the Manager’s friend, I was able to pitch the show in more detail. He’s all for it. Now we need to get the distribution and financing plan in place. That shouldn’t be too difficult, I already have verbal excitement from my first two targets for this. Its just a winning. So the DJ arrived and we headed over to the islands on the boat. The islands were decorated just for this event. There must have been around 3-400 when we go there with more on their way. The tickets were $50 each so Im glad he got us in early. I was able to meet up with some friends I knew so it was nice to catch up with them. Plus I met new friends. There were a lot of fluorescent lights and flashing lights, so it resembled a type of rave at a beach. The countdown went on and 2010 hit with a pulsating techno trance session. Fireworks went off, people screamed, fire breathers performed and the gigantic bonfire was ignited. It was a pretty special night. It was also cool getting to know Lamond a little better.

After about an hour after that, we decided to get back on the boat and head back to the shore. We decided to go to another club and that was nice too. However, there are so many Saudis here celebrating, the streets are jammed with cars. So it took us awhile.

So all in all it was a very good day. I better sign off..I’ve fallen asleep two times already why I wrote this.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Witch from Belarus

I really don’t have much to say tonight. Im becoming pretty anti-social. I like to come home at night and relax. Although I am going out to a big party tomorrow night for new years. I was going to go to the local Bahrain Cinema Club tonight. They show art house movies on Wednesdays. Then I got to chat with Ms. Florida and two hours later we were finished. I would much rather chat/connect with someone online than sit through a movie. I am not an invalid. I do go out often with friends. On a typical week I go out to lunch or dinner 4-5 times with different friends and then play squash 2-3 times a week with different folks. That is in addition to being in close contact with the 20 employees I interact with at my office. That said, my social life online is much greater than my social life in the real world. Why is that? Perhaps its because Im a really fast typist and can express myself much better with typed words. Or because the online thing is my portal of communication back to the U.S. If I chat so much with the people in the U.S. I feel like Im still there. Im not really sure, but I like to chat a lot.

OK…this is kind of weird. I do a lot of online dating sites, primarily because there are so few Christian pretty girls, that are single and my age here. I mean, you can count them on your hand. Actually I only know of two, and they both come to my small group, but since Im the leader those are off-limits. So anyways, I’ve been doing this online dating this for a couple of years now. I abhor the thought of going to a singles bar. I did go to quite a few clubs when I first got here, then they became really boring. Any meaningful conversation you might have is forgotten about the next day because of the alcohol. So what’s the point? Anyways, I have cyber met so many fascinating and dear friends online. Some of which Im convinced will be my friends the rest of my life even though I probably will never meet any of them in the flesh.

So last night I was chatting with this beautiful Belarussian girl living in The Netherlands (Holland). She had a webcam so we chatted on camera. It makes the phone call much more interesting. So this girl is an artist, she showed me some of her work and it was really fantastic. She had sold a piece, only a few hours earlier for 4000 Euros, which is $6000 I think. So she was extremely beautiful. So we got to talking about God and I asked her if she went to church. She said no, she can’t. Why not? Because Im a witch. What!!!???!???!???!?? So that really turned the conversation obviously. She told me that she could see ghosts and went into detail about it. I found it actually to be a mix of scary and fascinating. Like I talking to M. Night Shamalyan or something. It was pretty clear that this person was under some pretty serious oppression though she didn’t realize it. She said she went to an exorcism last week at a church as the pastor was trying to rid her of these spirits. Four guys had to hold her down, and all she had to do was say Jesus release me or words to that affect, but she said she became paralyzed and couldn’t get the words out. The way she described it, was a scene out of the Exorcist . I truly believe she wanted to be delivered but the enemy had such a stronghold on her life. So then here I am talking about Jesus and my faith to this witch. It was a pretty bizarre experience. One would think that a Christian should have absolutely nothing to do with a Witch, right? But look at the circumstances, last week she was almost delivered then this week, she just happens across me, the Jesus-positive Living, Joel Osteen-I can do all things through Christ Freak. It’s a title I just anointed myself with and Im quite proud of it. Do you think that God might be trying to get through to this girl? I would think so. While there are no romantic possibilities with this girl because of the extreme of the unequally yoked thing, there was no reason why I couldn’t try to be used of Christ to speak truth into her life. So I prayed for her hard that night. I continued to pray today. I’ll ask you guys too…say a prayer for the Belarussian witch. That sounds kind of funny doesn’t it. People don’t really realize that Jesus spent 1/3 of his ministry casting out spirits and demons. Yet how many church services have you been to and actually seen that happen? I think that is just how the enemy wants it. Wow…this was supposed to be another short one.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Being real

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you can probably tell Im very passionate about a lot of things in this life, my faith, my work, my value system, my children, I’d like to be passionate about a love interest, but I might have to wait on that one. Because of my passion and confidence in God, sometimes my attitude may come across to some as self-righteous. If it does, I apologize because that is not my heart at all. I think the compensate for that, that is why Im so open with my hurts, pains, and frustrations. Its interesting that preachers, unless they are caught, very rarely (at least according to my observations) share their downfalls or struggles. I wonder why that is. Do they need to keep a certain image in tact so their congregation isn’t disillusioned? Are their parishioner’s faith that dependent on God’s conduit? If so, that is pretty sad. Our faith needs to be built upon our own relationship with God, not someone else’s. I think I don’t have that same restriction. That’s why I try to be open and honest about my fears, doubts, and shortcomings. I look at King David as an example. He left it all out there on the table, the good the bad and the ugly. I try to be transparent as well…I think its part of my testimony. I want to be real with people so that they can feel they can make it as a Christian as well. I think guilt and condemnation are key tools of the enemy. Oh you can’t be a Christian, you did this and this…you’re a failure. The enemy guilts us out of a deeper relationship with the Creator. That is why the Bible is full of people that fail. They are there as illustrative purposes to show us that God can work through anyone. So I try to be very real myself, and not just espouse “Holier than though” (perception) theology. So I do make mistakes and I do fall…and I get back up. Micah 7:8 says: Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy. Though I fall I will rise; Though I dwell in darkness, the LORD is a light for me. I think every Christian can take those words to heart. Like this weekend for instance I had what I consider a small slip up. Minor according to mine and the world’s standards but sin nonetheless. I realize my slip up equates with murder in the eyes of God since all sin is the same. However the important thing is that certain sins have more psychological consequence than other sins. For instance Murder or Adultery will have a lot more of a long-term psychological impact on you than say a little white lie.

So my little sin had a big impact on me psychologically this week. What sin does is take God’s protective covering off of your life. So there were a couple of hardships that happened to me this week that really zapped me of my peace and joy. Its easy to have peace and joy when everything is going right, but what makes a Christian different is maintaining that peace and joy when life gets crappy. That is when your testimony shines the brightest. That is what makes Christians different. So by doing my sin, I essentially was taking the emotional/psychological force field down. So when I am right with God the missiles just bounce off and harmlessly fall to the ground. But when I sin, those missiles pierce the skin and hurt. So a few things that ordinarily wouldn’t affect me because of my spiritual strength, really hurt because of my temporary weakness because I let compromise slip into my life. But don’t worry, this was a momentary lapse and Im back on track now, I just have the residual pain to deal with.

You would think I would learn my lesson now. But I think that is human nature. We are in a cycle of sin, repentance, blessing, like the Israelites were. As Im maturing in my faith, my periods of righteousness are getting longer and longer, but I do stub my toe. When I do, the enemy is right there to pounce. I need to get my spiritual fitness back up. Get back into the Spiritual gym, which is the word of God. I think Im sharing this to show that Im human, I make mistakes, and hopefully it will give you hope too. Im not a hypocrite as one person has accused me of. If I was, I think I would not be sharing the warts and ugliness and all.

Monday, December 28, 2009

God let me make it home in four minutes...Please!!!

I was having a really down day today. I was just zapped of emotional energy. I go in waves, sometimes Im super positive other times Im a realist. Its important to note that I never go into the pessimistic mode. I think if you are a pessimist and a Christian, something is wrong. I have long talks with a dear friend here who tends towards pessimistic thinking but is one of the strongest most knowledgeable Christians that I know. Something is wrong with that line of thinking. But I don’t think I’ll be able to convince this person of that overnight. God needs to do a work.

So the first thing I did today was interview Adam’s mother, Rebecca. Rebecca is in town just for Christmas and couple days after and is heading to Qatar tonight to resume her battle to gain custody of her son. The story is quite tragic and I think the reason why it affected me so much is that her son was physically abducted. Whereas I believe my children were psychologically abducted. So I could relate to her in so many ways. It was a pretty tense and emotional interview but I got exactly what I wanted out of the interview. She was very happy to share everything. Hopefully I can take this material and turn it into a fantastic documentary. I hope that through the media we can take a firestorm of public support. To get this child home, it needs political pressure, and to create pressure the media is usually the only resort. Im happy Nader gave me the go ahead to get this done, because we’re donating our time and services to it.

So I’ve been in the funk all day. I went to the Supermarket after work. I always provide dinner for my positive living group. Most of the time I go to restaurants, but this time I decided to go the supermarket and have them prepare a fresh meal. The supermarket was packed and I had to really test my patience with people and their shopping carts cutting in and out in front of you. You think the driving in the Middle East and India is bad (and it really is) supermarket cart driving is ten times worse. So I had to check myself and be patient. I got all the food, then had to wait another 25 minutes in the check out line. Then I get in the car and the traffic was horrendous. So I was going to be 20-25 minutes late to my own small group. The whole time I was praying for God to give me grace and for the traffic to clear up so I could make it home in four minutes. But the traffic didn’t clear up and I thought my prayer wasn’t answered. So I had all this food and no one was at my house. So I figured they had already came and left. So I resolved that I was going to have a dinner alone tonight. There had been only one time previous where no one showed up to the Positive living group, but I knew there wouldn’t be anyone because everyone had let me know ahead of time. So I make myself a plate of food and just as I was about to take the first bite, Art walked in with his wife and guest. I happily got the plates and spread out the food. Then another girl, a beautiful Iranian flight attendant brought a friend, and a few more people showed up. So in a matter of 10 minutes I went from no one to a full house. Isn’t that interesting that I prayed for traffic to clear up, but it didn’t. Yet God answered my prayers by having everyone else delayed. God answers prayers but not always in the way people.

I was so encouraged by the group tonight. I think I needed it more than anyone else. It just inspires me to see so many people blessed by it. Christina pulled me aside and wanted to let me know that she has been so blessed by it. But not just her, she is sharing the principles with many of her friends and they are getting blessed by it too. Christina is the only person that came from my home church where it was formerly affiliated. She also didn’t know about my discussions with them. So she came to encourage me and it was totally unsolicited and without intention. So that really encouraged me.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Shiite Fight Club

A very nice day for me today. It was a day off of work for me today, a holiday. It’s the last day of Ashoora, where the Shiite Muslims beat themselves in penance. The Sunnis don’t celebrate this, as they think it is rather silly. I went by a small village in the afternoon and I saw a bunch of cars. I didn’t think the festivities would be until the evening. So I decided go have a look. In this small village, which looks very middle eastern, they was a big crowd watching the guys in a parade. The Imam (or Mosque pastor/priest) would have a microphone and be singing prayers to Allah, the men in the parade behind him would either respond or rhythmically beat themselves. It was actually kind of cool to listen to, though I don’t believe in what they are doing. There were thousands of me, in this tiny little village. The parade was men about 10 to a row, that must have been 200-300 rows deep. I couldn’t really tell because processional went on and on and on. I watched for about 20 minutes and I didn’t see the end. When these guys beat themselves, they hit themselves hard. In unison, these thousands of men would beat their chests some as hard as they could. Do that every 20 seconds for 8 hours straight, you’re going to be sore. It was like Islamic Fight Club. It was a spectacle to see, but sad nonetheless. These people are all very sincere about their faith, but they feel like they have to do these acts in order to gain access to heaven. Salvation by works, most every religion follows. I think salvation by faith espoused by Christians is the only religion like it in the world that goes by the faith only principle…I think. Everyone else, you have to work for it. It makes the conversion simple. I think God designed it to be simple, Love God, and Love others as yourself. I don’t think it gets much simpler than that. Although the loving others sometimes can prove to be challenging.

I met Austin, the Scottish deep sea diver for a game of squash. I had to leave a bit early because I was supposed to interview some people for the Adam kidnapping story. But that got postponed til tomorrow after I traveled to the office, loaded the gear, got my cameraman only to find out…sorry. We’ll try it again tomorrow. It’s a worthy video we are donating our time to. It is reprehensible what is happening to this poor child. Hopefully the media and the short documentary will serve to galvanize people to action and raise the consciousness of the situation to the governmental levels. Its hard to imagine the pain that this poor family must be going through.

I went out to dinner with Pat tonight. He’s becoming a good friend. Its nice to have someone to confide in.

Oh…I forgot to tell you. With the relationship with the South African Bollywood producer formalizing. We now have distribution outlets available. Because of his experience, other channels will be easier to develop. When you have distribution, its really easy to get financing. I talked to the musician, that Im pitching Rock N Royal too. When I mentioned that I had financing, he got really excited. I was hoping he’d pay for it. So he’s on board and he wants me to talk about the details with his manager. So I talked to the manager, who is in Bahrain. He lives in Spain, the UK, and Bahrain. The manager was very excited about it. He’s having a big New Year’s Party on Al Dar island, that’s the group of islands which the musician owns. You have to navigate there by boat. He put me on the guest list for the big new year’s party which is sold out. So hopefully we can come up with a deal on new year’s night. Plus the party should be pretty cool.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Bahrain: the friendliest country in world

I ran across some interesting news today. It confirms what I’ve been thinking all along. Forbes magazine, a very reputable magazine ran a survey and declared that Bahrain was the friendliest country in the world. Really? I found that very hard to believe that Bahrain, as tiny as it would be the first at anything. I did not dispute its findings however. Bahrain is an incredibly friendly place, which is even more surprising considering the negative stereotype of the Middle East. I think it hones back to what I’ve been saying since day 1 in the blog, and finally its been validated. Im quite thrilled about that. Yahoo picked up on the story and spread it throughout the Internet. Canada, last year’s winner was #2, and the U.S. was all the way down to #10. Here’s the article if you want more details: http://www.forbes.com/2009/11/30/worlds-friendliest-countries-lifestyle-travel-canada-bahrain-hsbc.html

Bahrain seems to be 50% Indian. The joke is that if Indians were to leave that Bahrain would cease to exist. Because India is so close, many expats both work here and maintain their fulltime residences in India. However, I know of several multi-generational Indian families that live here. I love the Indian Culture. So you have the genuine goodness of Indians (and the Filipinos are quite friendly too) mixed with Arab Hospitality and you have Bahrain being #1. Now this is not a 100% scientific study and Im sure there are flaws in their formula and an announcement, but still its recognition of what many people who live and visit Bahrain already know to be true.

This friendly nature of Bahrain goes back thousands of years even to the dawn of time. Many people believe that Bahrain was actually the place where the Garden of Eden was originally located. Back then, the island was full of natural fresh water springs so there were dozens if not hundreds of oasis’ in the midst of this desert island. At one point Bahrain was quite tropical. These natural fresh water springs were prominent in Bahrain until about 70 years ago, when the dredging of the shipping channels occurred with building of modern shipping ports. The theory is that the underground springs were destroyed and the fresh water was diverted to somewhere unknown in the ocean. It was also because of these freshwater springs that Bahrain’s pearl diving industry was once so vibrant. The freshwater and saltwater made the pearls unique in the world.

Ok..while Im being a documentarian, I’ll go further. Bahrain was actually the center of the world at one point, at least in terms of commerce. The first known civilizations Mesopotamia (Modern Day Iraq) and the Indus Valley (Pakistan-India) were the main population hubs. Bahrain was right in the middle of these two. So traders and the shipping industry naturally used Bahrain to off-load their exports and on-load their imports since Bahrain was the precise half-way mark. But it wasn’t just that, it was the fresh water. Bahrain had the fresh water (they call it sweet water here) springs, like no other country in the Middle East at the time, Sailors were also able to store up on the precious freshwater. So for thousands of years Bahrain had scores of visitors from different cultures descend upon their land. Generation after generation of Bahraini’s became very hospitable to visitors, it was just good business and it became ingrained in their culture. I did a short documentary on this topic for the Government that details this. If you’d like to see it, it can be found on my website: http://www.rickbeeman.com/Site/Documentary.html


Arab hospitality (I believe) was literally born in Bahrain. Because you had so many ethnic groups visiting, you also had a lot of different religions. Bahrain is non-judgmental as you can worship whatever God you wish to worship. There are even two Jewish synagogues here. This is entirely different from other Islamic countries. Saudi Arabia for instance will cut your head off in the public square if you preach anything other than Islam. With Bahrain being so close to Saudi Arabia (a 15 mile long bridge connects them) its even more amazing about the freedom. Bahrain and Saudi couldn’t be more different, perhaps that is why thousand of Saudis descend upon Bahrain each weekend. In Bahrain women can drive, you can have alcohol, you can talk to a woman that isn’t your wife without fear of being arrested, you can date, go to movies, go to clubs, basically you can do whatever you can do in the U.S. or Europe. You can do none of those aforementioned things in Saudi Arabia.

So thousands of years have gone into Bahrain winning this award. Im sure its going to fill a lot of Bahraini’s with justified pride. I know Im proud of it. I have loved living here. The award also coincides with one of my mandates for coming here, and that is to change the way that Americans (and the West) think of the Middle East. This is just another one of my many steps in the journey of a 1000 miles. Thank you Forbes for helping me out.

Friday, December 25, 2009

A very merry Christmas

It turned out to be a very nice day. You know it feels so good to have the prayers of others. I can physically feel when someone is praying for me. It feels very comforting and relaxing, like a spiritual xanax. I’m very fortunate that I have this blog, and Im very fortunate that others are motivated to pray for me through some of the information that I share on it. I think that is reaping and sowing coming back to me. I’ve made quite an effort to help people over the years and I think this is one way that it is coming back to me. So I want you readers to know two things. You are appreciated. Two, the prayers that you pray for me are going to come back to you eventually. I believe that karma is a biblical principal that works all the time in the form of reaping and sowing. Oh yeah, off-topic, but speaking of Karma, I was in the mall last week, eating next to a guy in a wheel-chair. I noticed the brand name on the wheel chair was…Karma. Can you believe a wheelchair company would actually name their wheelchairs Karma?

OK, back to today. Since church is on Fridays, I spent Christmas day in church. It seems like the perfect way for me to start out my day. Pat the basketball coach is alone too. I think it was really getting to him, this is the first Christmas away from his family in a long time. So after church we enjoyed a great Christmas dinner at Kenny Rogers Roasters. They just opened a new one, It’s a sit-down restaurant nearby my flat. I can’t believe they are still in business, but its actually pretty good food.

I came back home took a great Christmas day nap, then headed to theater to watch Sherlock Holmes. It is the last two days of Ashoora, which is called Muharram. They are national holidays so for Saturday and Sunday, all bars will be closed, which doesn’t affect me much. But there will also be no movies. I think they eliminate all entertainment options in order to show penance for killing the Prophet Mohammed’s grandson all those centuries ago. So I tried to get my movies in before the are closed. It’s a great great movie by the way. Im a big Guy Ritchie fan.

Afterwards I was off to my first party. It was a nice family type atmosphere in my new friend’s Ashish’s house. Ashish is an Indian that grew up in Bahrain. His family was there and it was a very warm and inviting atmosphere. Lots and lots of deserts, juices, and coffees. They made me feel like a celebrity. They were all Christians so we had a good time talking out our faith. I excused myself an hour into it and headed to dinner at Art’s place. Art is Mr. Brooklyn. You may remember me mentioning that he worked on Math Rock (Schoolhouse Rock) when he was in grad. School. I really like Art. He had about six people over, mostly Americans. It was a high-brow type of elegantly casual dinner party. Lots of very intriguing intellectual conversation. I enjoyed it very much. So I stayed about an hour, and headed to party #3. Party #3 was just winding down when I got there. It was a lot of people that went to my church. I did enjoy it. So I went from not planning to celebrate Christmas at all, to having I think 7 Christmas parties. I had a great time at each I don’t think I ever had more than 3 to go to at any one time in the past. Not only that, I had to turn down two parties, one last night and one today because I just didn’t have time. The Iraqi invited me out to a Christmas dinner with he and his friends. I told him I couldn’t because I was trying to navigate the three parties. He laughed and called me a lucky bastard. Well since I don’t believe in luck, I’ll have to be a blessed bastard…lol. It is just reconfirming to me that God indeed has his hand on my life. Here I was yesterday crying out to him and he answered in such a quick and powerful way. If God cares to answer even my smallest prayers, then logic tells you that the big prayers are going to be answered soon to. My faith is reinforced once again. Thank you for your prayers and Merry Christmas. Oh by the way…I think I had the best Christmas present I could have hoped for in that I was able to talk to all three of my kids. That was an incredible blessing.

Oh yeah, I posted this poem I adapted last Christmas, I thought I should post it again since I have so many new readers. I hope you enjoy.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the villa
Not a creature was stirring except our butler Abdullah
The sandals were hung by the space heater with care
In hopes that Kareem Claus would soon be there
The children were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of Falafells danced in their heads
I in my thobe and Mamma in her abaya
Had just fallen asleep by the imaginary fire
When out in the yard there arose a clatter
I sprang from the bed to see if a Filipino was causing the matter
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Tore open the mini blinds threw up the sash
I fell forward and chipped my tooth and the enamels
But then I saw a sleigh and 8 tiny camels
With a tiny little driver smelling so good and clean
I knew in a moment it must be St. Kareem
Now Ahmad, Now Hassan, Now Ibrahim, Now Amir,
On Jamal, On Khalil, On Omar, On Yassir
To the top of villa, to the top of restraining wall
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all
And then in twinkiling I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each camel hoof
Down through the maid’s quarters Kareem Claus came with a bound
He must have been moving fast cause his feet didn’t hit the ground
He was dressed all in camel fur from his head to his foot
And his thobe wasn’t tarnished with ashes and soot
His eyes how they twinkled his dimples did glisten
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a persimmon
And the thickness under his nose with a big mustache
And beard of his chin was black like the ash
He had a thin face and no real belly
He must have taken a bath because he wasn’t so smelly
He was thin, and skinny a right jolly old muslim
I laughed when I saw him it wasn’t a whim
With a glare from his eye and a swivel of his head
Soon let me know that I hand nothing to dread
He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
And filled all the sandals then turned with a jerk
And laying a finger on the side of nose
And giving a nod and through the maid’s quarters he rose
He sauntered to his sleigh getting ready to split
And his camels got ready to fly after a good spit
I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight
Eid Mubarak, Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, and Feliz Navidad to all and to all a good night….

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Be the change you want to see in the world

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi said that. I adhered to that principle today. I was really feeling sorry for myself. Normally Im pretty positive and loving life but every once in awhile I crash. Thankfully this crash usually only lasts one to two days. Maybe its my emotional time of the month. So I cried out to God. “I don’t like this God, its not very fair. Why aren’t you doing all the things that you said you would do for me faster.” I know the verse in Isaiah, “Those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.” You know I’ve been claiming that verse for years now, Im tired of waiting. I expressed all of this to God this morning and throughout the day. I guess you could say Im going through my emotional/spiritual time of the month. I know that God is faithful, I know I will emerge from this funk soon. So this isn’t a sign of rebellion or rejection of God. I just believe that when we are hurting we need to cry out to God. I rejoice when things are going well, and now Im crying out because Im running out of gas. My situation has not changed, instead my attitude/POV is really being challenged. Maybe Im under spiritual attack. Tis the season for people to be depressed. I think the enemy uses the opportunity of the holidays to oppress people that are separated from their families. Well Im feeling oppressed. I just have to put my head down and keep charging. I know things will turn. If I step back and look objectively at my life, I still believe Im one of the most blessed and fortunate guys on the planet. All I have to do is look at the day laborers that I see everyday, I must see hundreds in a day passing to and fro to work. Their jobs are grueling 12 hour days. They make probably 1/20 of what I make and they are away from their families for years at a time. Im not gloating, Im trying to convey that I should never complain about anything. Professionally, Im great, its emotionally Im having the problems. I was away from my kids last Christmas and that was tough. But last year, I had just arrived and the feelings of newness, and the adventure made me numb to the emotional impact the distance from my family was having on me. But this year is a little different. It hurts more. Perhaps it hurts because I know my boys need me. I know they miss me. I kind of think my daughter misses me too, though she’s not going to show nor admit it. I know that God has a plan for me being here. I know it is his will. But still, Im missing out on some magical years. I wouldn’t be away from my children if I wasn’t divorced, but I had to adapt when X made all those changes. I truly believe that part of God’s plan for me being here, other than reaching the lost for Christ, is to provide more stability and harmony for my kids. If I was closer I think there would be a lot more fighting. So I just have to trust God on this one that he knows what he’s doing. My friend the music man grew up in a similar situation. He was subject to a lot of parental alienation from his mother towards his Dad. Eventually he saw the truth and now he has a great relationship and understanding about his dad, It just took 20 years to happen. I think the Music man is in my life to give me hope that the kids will eventually see the truth and come around. I dread the thought of having to wait 20 years for it happen, but at least it will happen. I had a good talk with Khalifa yesterday. His ex-wife the mother of his children comes to Bahrain two-three times a year. She even came by our staff Christmas party yesterday. He greeted her with a kiss on the cheek and a warm embrace. They laugh and joke together, and even sat next to each other at dinner. Their divorce was amazingly contentious from what Tanya tells me. But he tried to make the best of it for the children’s sake. Now they get along very well. I remarked to him yesterday about it. He said, she is my best friend, and it shows. They will never be married again, as Khalifa is married to someone else. But for the sake of the children they get along now. What’s frustrating for me, is they figured out how to do that and they aren’t even Christians. How do two supposed Christians like myself and X act like this and we have faith/religion on our side. I wish we could talk to each other, but Im rebuffed in my attempts. I pray that someday we will be able to be amicable again. I pray that most everyday. The bitterness and animosity only destroys and it harms the kids. I do love X still, even though she remarried and I always will love her. I think that is the case with most divorced people. I think there is always a level of love deep down inside though many are loathe to admit it. I know I’ll love again, and probably soon, just a hunch. Even when I do get remarried, my prayer will still be to have an amicable relationship with X because that is what will be in the best interest of the children.

I think of FDR’s line, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” So with Christmas tomorrow, Im afraid of being afraid of being lonely. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I’m building it up way to much in my mind. Since God is not a god of fear or anger, I know these anxieties are coming from the enemy. So Im going to have to face it head on like I did this morning. In the midst of my cry out to God. I lifted my head to the heaven and said “God I don’t like this one bit. But please give me the grance and strength to endure this season in my life.”

So rather than be alone, I called two of my closest friends and invited them over for a Christmas Eve dinner. We had a Ham Steak I had frozen from Costco. So I heated that up and the Iraqi brought Mashed Potatoes and Corn from Chili’s. So we had our own Bachelor type Christmas Eve dinner. I would have wanted someone to invite me over to their house for dinner, but rather than wallow, I decided to be the change. The ham was excellent, even being frozen and the fellowship was great too. Afterwards we watched a movie together and just had a very non-traditional Christmas Eve night. All three of us were separated from our families so for one night we became each other’s families. I think that is the Golden rule in action, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. That is a very proactive verse, and I need to be proactive. I still do miss my kids, and Im anxious to get out from the season of solitude that Im in. I know I will get out someday, hopefully soon. The verse in Psalms, I think Psalms 92, is that God holds all your tears in a bottle. I think each tear of pain that I shed will come back as a thousand moments of joy. I’ll get through this, and I’ll be fine. If I think about it, 95% of my life Im on top of the world. I just happen to be going through the 5% at the moment. This too shall pass.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

All men are created equal

Im not working on any big projects at the moment at work. Its mainly just managing the company and waiting to hire a couple of new sales reps. This will make sales rep #6 and #7. Its kind of frustrating because the people that I want to hire aren’t necessarily agreed upon by management. Race and religious affiliation are huge factors in hiring here, unfortunately. It’s a commonly accepted practice. The terms all men are created equal doesn’t apply out here. It’s American idealism that is only shared with a small percentage of the global population. The only thing that is close here, is all Muslims are created equal sometimes. That is shown upon during the call to prayer. They line up in a line with no difference in socio-economic status or race. The ritual for praying is that they face mecca and kneel and put their face to the ground, then stand up again. This takes place over and over again for the 30-45 minutes of prayer 5 times a day. If you think about the physicality of the prayer it is actually excellent calisthenics especially for older people. So there are some physical benefits in addition to the spiritual benefits that they perceive that they are getting. Doing this routine side by side with anyone, they pride themselves that all men are equal in the eyes of Allah. Yet that isn’t entirely true since the division between Sunni’s and Shiite is so prevalent. Don’t forget that all Muslims are equal in the eyes of God usually only applies during the prayer times. If Im wrong Muslims, please let me know. I strive to be accurate. It was nice because I said something that 100% accurate about the Hindus, and some anonymous person was nice enough to set the record straight according to their opinion. I like that about this forum. Its good to express opinions and understanding. We need more communication to take place. But Muslims feel like they have to keep praying otherwise there might be an opportunity that they might lose their salvation. That is a core difference between Islam and Christianity. Islam is a salvation by works philosophy, while Christianity is salvation by faith. Christianity sure seems a whole lot easier. Essentially there are only two rules, Love God, love others like yourself. There are details, but if you do the first two things, the details kind of happen naturally and easilty.

There was such an extreme shift for me at work. I went from unbelievably crazy busy, to not busy at all. Two of my closest friends are also out of town so my regular squash and racquetball games are put on hiatus as well. I was so busy for so long, I relished the opportunity to be at home. Thus I got in kind of a routine. I don’t really like to go out with big groups, I prefer the one on one experience. But usually Im the one to initiate the contact. Very few of my friends make the first move. So Im comfortable in my routine coming home at night and chatting or phone calling my friends and family from around the world. Im a true extrovert, but Im really valuing my alone time. So Im a bit of a conundrum socially right now. I almost admitted I was bored a little earlier today…I say almost. Being bored is a state of mind, a choice. So I quickly backed away from that. It was a fleeting thought anyways because I haven’t been bored since I set down here. I think what I need is another challenge. I know that the challenges are out there, but God told me to be patient and not to rush things. They would all happen in His perfect timing.

I know I’ve been belaboring the point of divorce the past few days. Its not because Im trying to make X look bad. Instead I try to share my feeling and my perspective. I was speaking with my mother yesterday. She is a sweet old woman. She’s going to hate that I said old, but she’s 69 (I think) going on 72, since 72 is the 64 she is a little bit young for her age. But she looks like she’s in her 50’s she only acts like she’s in her 80’s. But as long as she looks good, I don’t think she’ll care about the numbers Im throwing around. Thank God for Tivo, for her perspective. In actuality she took the divorce a lot harder than I did. She also took my diabetes a lot harder. I think that is the thing with mothers. I gave it to God and he healed me…or is in the process of healing. She’s finally getting around the healing part. She loved X, probably more than she loved me. So she lost a daughter in all of this. I don’t think a person ever fully recovers from divorce. But my mother was sharing with me the other day that she was not looking forward to Christmas. Christmas’ just hasn’t been the same for her or I since the divorce. That’s a misnomer about divorce that should be brought to light. Its not just one person’s choice. That person’s choice has ripple effects that affect, Grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, let alone their mom and dad, everything in life is redefined. Even in California my parents got to see the kids 3-4 times a year. My parents made it a point to never miss a grandchild’s birthday, that covered 7 grandchildren a year spread out over multiple states and countries. Now, they are lucky to see my kids once a year, maybe twice. They haven’t seen my daughter for going on two years now. I know my boys keep asking about their cousins, whom they haven’t seen since before the divorce. Everything changes in their life. So the ripple effect of one person’s choice deeply affects 15-20 in a great impact. Again, Im not trying to hurl stones, but in making the choice to divorce you must look at all the ramifications, and not just because you want to, or because you tell yourself you’ve fallen out of love. The enemy will give you plenty of excuses in your mind why you are justified in making negative self-serving choices, but remember the enemy comes to lie, steal, and destroy. By creating havoc with divorce he can do all three with one fell swoop.

You choose to fall in love and you choose to fall out of love. Marriage is a simply a commitment before God that you’ll stick it out. So if you are thinking about it, look at every angle, like chess. Consider the moves 4 to 5 moves out. How will affect your children, their relationships, your relationships, your identity. Is it worth it? 9 times out of 10, I think not. I know it wasn’t for me, but I didn’t really have a vote.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Sentimental Holiday spirit

What a wonderful day that it turned out to be. Remember I have been really missing my kids lately. I have this incredible screen saver on the Mac, which takes my photos from iphoto and creates a mosaic, so hundreds of pictures create a mosaic which then morphs into the actual photo. I find myself watching that for long stretches of time. It is mesmerizing and entertaining. The pictures are mostly older, when I was still married. It makes me long for earlier times. The pictures are quite sentimental. I never went through my photo album to delete pictures of X. So she would pop up on the screensaver both individually and as a family every once in awhile. It was so reminiscent of earlier times. I hated to delete those pictures because it felt like I was deleting a part of my history that is/was very dear to me. Maybe by deleting them, I was convincing myself that I was permanently erasing her from my life. I go through these periods where Im still delusional that someday my family might be reconciled. I get these feelings especially around the holidays. But then I just have to do a reality check and remind myself. You see, I was very happily married, probably the most happily married man you’d ever want to meet. At least that is what my friends told me. I have always loved life, and having a family was the very best part of a privileged life. That is why the divorce came as a such an absolute shock. I fought against it with everything that I had in me. But it takes two get married…one to choose to divorce. So I couldn’t win. I really think Im over the marriage part, that’s why it was easier to delete the pictures finally. I should have done it a long time ago, but better late than never, maybe. I am so excited to love again. I’d probably be in love already if I didn’t have my standards so ridiculously high. Im always dating out of my league. Im waiting for God’s absolute best. I know that if I wait for God’s perfect timing, he’s going to provide the perfect partner. There may be someone special on the horizon but its too early to tell.

So I had a meeting today that could have turned very ugly. Remember project #1, that was completed about a month ago. We got the verbal approval both on the phone and in person that it was approved. We got the emails, saying it was approved. We even got the Certificate of Completion, with a stamp making it absolutely official that it was completed and approved as per the contract. They even processed a payment order/check request. They duplicated 1000 copies of the project and distributed them at the premiere which this DVD was an integral part. So it was as done, as done could be. Then two days ago I get a phone call saying, the payment order has been stopped because they want the project redone. What?????? I’ve already made 20 re-edits on this. I had verbal and written confirmation that is/was completed, now they pull this. I was pretty upset. But I took Khalifa to the meeting. It got pretty heated at times, but Khalifa calmed me down, then he worked his Arabic magic. A westerner isn’t going to win a lot of arguments in this part of the world, truth and justice not withstanding. Khalifa calmly told me to sit back and relax. Then he took over. The first thing he said, We’ve been here for 20 minutes, why haven’t you offered us Tea or Coffee. Arab hospitality is a huge thing. This put the client immediately on the defensive and the argument swung in our favor. He continued, the first thing I do if someone comes to my office is that I have my office boy offer them hot tea. Why do you not respect us enough to offer us that. He went on and on about Arab/Bahraini tradition. The negotiation shifted far away from the product or issue at hand. It was a brilliant negotiating move. Totally Arab old school. Suddenly the confrontation swung back to our favor. We wound up with a compromise, but a compromise that we can live with. Its just another lesson in doing business in the Middle East with Arabs. Im so used to the West, when I’ve had so many verbal agreements which were binding with me and the client. Not so here. Everything needs to be in writing, stamped, and sealed. Hopefully, Im going to stop making these mistakes.

OK…so that was a bad situation that turned out pretty good. I was very proud of Khalifa. We went on to have our staff Christmas party later. We closed the office a bit early and Khalifa and I paid for everyone to watch The Christmas Carol in 3d. Keep in mind, many of the staff don’t see movies in theaters because of the expense and they certainly haven’t seen the new 3D digital technology. Plus, very few were familiar with the Ebenezer Scrooge story. So it was a wonderful time for everyone. We went to Tanya’s house which was decked out with holiday cheer and we ate and we ate and we ate. We are a very close and friendly office. We topped off the night with a gift exchange, the one where you can steal gifts from each other. They had never played before I introduced it to them at the last Christmas party. So they have been looking forward to playing again for the last 12 months. Everyone brought a very nice gift and so the stealing was intense and a whole lot of fun. Lots and lots of big laughter. Everyone had a wonderful time.

So that was my fourth Christmas party thus far, and I’ve been invited to three more. God is good. It was just a great great day.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Im better at something than someone somewhere, Im pretty sure of it somehow

The late night last night is really catching up with me now. I usually hope the Raiders will get blown out early, then I can go to bed and still get a decent night’s sleep. But last night they had the gall to win with :35 seconds left at 3:30 am my time. Of course I had to stay up to watch it. I even screamed when they scored their touchdown. Who screams for a 5 win 9 loss team that has lost more football games over the last six years than anyone in football. Why? I guess because my expectations are so low, that when they generate even the most minute portion of excitement, I have to get my yelp in. But every time I get too enthused with a sports team Im following, I have to remember what Jerry Seinfeld said about sports. We are all rooting for laundry. That’s what is comes down to, we cheer for the uniform and just whomever seems to be wearing it at the time. We just have this inner need to think we are better than someone else. Keep in mind…im describing myself with this group. Races of people think they are better than other races, countries think they are better than other countries, states think they are better than other states, cities think they are better than other cities, schools think they are better than other schools. Want to get in a fist fight in Texas…Stand up virtually anywhere in Texas and say “California is better.” Why are Sooners better than Cowboys, Longhorns better than Aggies, Cal better than Stanford? We just have this inner drive to think we are better than someone else, anyone else. Sports are a perfect vehicle which to vent this psychological need. I think for the people that are the most insecure to feel better about themselves at the expense of others provides validation. I know Im reading way to much into the sports thing, but Im a sports fan and I have to question, why am I so passionate about it. What is missing in me to drive me to this? I think this need for self-validation is most present where Im living right now, The Middle East. There is so much rampant racism here, they don’t even bother to hide it. When I mention my Indian friends, Filipino Friends, American friends, In America I would be branded a racist but here its totally culturally acceptable to know someone’s origin so we can better understand them. The shocking thing is not their racial division, its their spiritual division. Can you imagine a Methodist suicide bombing a Presbyterian church because they pray a little differently?

I had a brief chat with Barrie Jones today. You might remember his step-son was kidnapped in Oman. Adam is 10 years old, and has always been raised by his mother. Yet now he’s living with a grandmother that is 77 years old that doesn’t speak English, and Adam doesn’t speak Arabic. Where is the justice in that? The government doesn’t really want to be involved, but there is so much public support behind “Bring Adam Home” that I think eventually they will be forced into a decision. Common sense goes out the window here. Islamic courts think the best place to raise a child no matter what the parental relationship is an Islamic family. The crazy part is that the Jones’ are actually Muslims, but they have the wrong first name and the wrong color of skin.

I have volunteered to create a video to bring awareness to this situation. I’ll post when its ready.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Sunni vs. Shiite

Nice and quiet day at the office today. I think things are slowing down in December with all the holidays. We have Christmas coming up, but Muslims generally don’t celebrate that, but some do. Our office will be closed for the Christians, but the Hindus, and Muslims still work. I know that seems unfair. But during Ramadan, the Muslims got time off of work and the Christians had to keep going. So it evens out in the end. Im not really sure what holidays the Hindus observe. They have so many Gods in Hinduism. But one thing about the Indians, they are very hard workers and extremely bright. Ashoora is right around the corner. That is the festival where the Shiite Muslims, cut themselves for penance for killing the Prophet Muhammad’s grandson 1300 years ago. It’s a strange festival/observance. I have pictures of last year’s Ashoora in the photo section of this blog. Not too many Muslims work around this holiday. But it’s only a holiday for Shiite Muslims, the Sunni muslims look down on the Shiite traditions. Its so divided between the Shiite and Sunni’s. Its not like the difference between Presbyterians and Methodists. It’s more like Hatfields and McCoys. North vs. South in the Civil War. Even though they share the same religion, there is so much animosity between the two camps. That’s the lingering problem in Iraq. The terrorists/extremists are not attacking the west. They are attacking their brothers in Islam. But often times the west is blamed. But, if it wasn’t for the U.S. intervening, The Sunni’s would have wiped out the Shiites in Iraq. Iran is predominantly Shiite, with Iraq predominantly Sunni. If Im wrong here, please someone that knows leave a comment so I can keep my info accurate. A lot of people in the west think, well go ahead and let them kill each other, it doesn’t concern us. That’s a very isolationistic philosophy. Many in the U.S. held that view before Pearl Harbor in WWII. Its an interesting moral debate. Should we have just let Hitler kill the Jews? We got out of Cambodia during the Vietnam war and look at what Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge did with the Killing Fields. Genocide has been with us for generations. Just in the 20th century, you can site Yugoslavia, Sudan, Rwanda, its sad what humans can do to each other. So should we just walk away when other people annihilate each other. The phrase, with much power comes much responsibility, its either from the Bible or Spiderman, maybe both. So Im all for the most powerful country in the world (the U.S. at the moment) being the peacekeepers. A lot of people disagree with me, but that’s my very republican stance. I think we need to promote peace anyway we can. Some think the use of force intimidates people into peace. The theory we build weapons so we don’t have to use them. That might be true. But I think the best road to peace is through understanding. We have to understand each other to realize we are not all that different. The best way to achieve that is through education. The fastest and most effective way to educate is through the media. That is one of the reasons why Im here. I have so much of a better understanding of Arab culture since I live here. Hopefully you have a better understanding through reading this blog. I want to take the methodology of this blog and expand it through the media to reach more people.

Had another quiz night tonight. It gets tough raising a team week in and week out. But still I have a great time there. The only bad thing is that I reek of smoke now. That’s a big bummer. But the fish and chips are great at the pub, so I guess it cancels the other out. I usually stay up really late on Sunday nights. The Raiders usually play my time from 12:00 AM to 3:00 AM. So Mondays are usually pretty sleepy for me. Though I did take a nap before quiz night.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Five get-togethers, 8 hours of 24, 6 hours of phone calls, and lots of sleep

I worked so hard the first year I was here. It seems lately, Ive been sooooo relaxing. Its been a lot of fun. I had fun when I was super busy, and I’ve had fun when things have slowed down. December is a big month for holidays here, both Bahraini national days and Islamic holidays and the traditional Christmas of course. I’ve learned how to relax and enjoy myself. If you look back at the first part of this blog, last November and December for instance. You would see that I was a bit of a workaholic. I’d stay late at the office, or work 6 day weeks through the weekend. Generally log about 70-80 hours a week. I didn’t complain about it, I chose that kind of routine. Coming home to an empty flat depressed me. Now…I love coming home to an empty flat. Don’t get me wrong, Im anxious to be in relationship and married again, and I probably will be sooner rather than later. But now Im adjusting to my lifestyle and Im content with whatever I have, because Im living my life right. This is where the “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I can be content while busy, or content while not so busy. So when I say I had a relaxing weekend, I really did.

Here was my agenda, Friday 3 appointments with friends, Lunch, Coffee, and Dinner, plus 4 hours of 24 season 5, talk to a new friend in Canada til 2a. Saturday, sleep til 10:30, order Irish breakfast delivered from Bennigan’s, to be delivered. Watch the last four hours of 24 season 5, finish watching season 2 of Curb Your Enthusiasm, finish reading a book about mega churches (which I didn’t like, but read it as a courtesy to my elder.) Then went to dinner with said elder and he told me essentially that Joel Osteen’s philosophies almost made him a false prophet. I defended Osteen. I detailed the results that his ministry had affected in my life and hundreds of thousands, or even millions of lives around the world, but he wasn’t too interested in the results. So we essentially agreed to disagree, because our arguments were using too much circular reasoning,we weren’t getting anywhere. But the great part is, I prayed before heading into this meeting and there wasn’t a heavy spirit of discord. We disagreed but we still loved each other as brothers. Even though I believe he is wrong, as he thinks I am wrong, I believe he handled a difficult situation in a correct theological way. So will the pulling of the church’s endorsement of my small church stop me, absolutely not. He even encouraged me to keep the group going. But it just won’t have the church’s affiliation. So Big deal. I was thinking of pouting, and going to another church, but that was just my flesh talking. I’ll continue to go to that church and continue to make myself available as a servant for however the church wants to use me.

After the dinner, I went out with Pat the basketball coach to The Informant. What a great great movie that was. I came home and talked to the Canadian for a few more hours, uh oh…I just gave her a nickname. She could be the South African, she could be the Canadian, or she could be the Doctor, I’ll have to figure out what the best nickname for her is . But there are some distinct possibilities there. So Im sure I’ll be blogging about her in later blogs. So a weekend full of social activity, rest, and lots and lots of TV and film. Im so refreshed to start my week off. Its going to be a week full of Christmas parties. Like I mentioned earlier, more Christmas parties for me than ever before. Just to show there were no bad feelings between the elder and I, Im headed to his house for a social on Christmas eve. Im still waiting to find out what to do on Christmas Day. Im a free agent, looking out for the best offer. God is good.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Back in Bahrain

I slept in til noon today. I know that sounds bad, but I didn’t get to sleep til 5am. I wound up talking on the phone with family and friends after I got in. So I skipped church. Its hard for me to get motivated to keep going to that church after they rejected or decided to pull their affiliation from my group. Its so short-sighted, because I went out to dinner with two girls that God has really spoken to through the group. Their walks have been strengthened and invigorated. OK…enough of me bellyaching. Im supposed to go to coffee with the elder that was influential with the decision tomorrow so I’ll just hash it out with him.

I got together with the Basketball coach for lunch. I really like the guy. He has a very distinctive sense of humor and an obvious heart for God. Its nice because he doesn’t mind going through the entertainment (coupon) book and finding meals for buy 1 get one free coupons. So we had a nice lunch and I told him all about my trip. He’s very interested in things that go on in my life. A good friend is like that. I think his life as a coach is equally as interesting.

I came back home and lounged. My parents bought me all 6 seasons of Curb your Enthusiasm…That has so much LA industry humor. I love it. Its one of the reasons why I moved away from LA, that superficial lifestyle I mean, which that particular show captures perfectly. Its improvised which makes it even more clever. Then I had coffee with a British actress that grew up in Bahrain. She’s one of these third culture kids, that is British but grew up in Bahrain. So where is really home for her? Even she admitted she feels a little bit displaced. She is a very pretty girl and a talented actress. She wanted to pick my brain about the Hollywood scene. She is going to be a success, but right now she has to continue work through the growing pains of her career. It is really difficult to make a living as an actor. That’s what I tell my students all the time. She was getting discouraged because of all the struggles. I reassured her, that I’ve been rejected thousands of times professionally…maybe hundreds emotionally lol…Yet I’ve never given up and here I am closer to my dreams than ever. There is one distinct advantage though that I hold over here. My faith. That’s my secret to success. If you have faith, and you are living your life right, I believe you’re bound to be successful.

I came back for another little nap then it was off to appointment #3. Two girls from my positive living group. These are two girls that the group really made an impact on. They are always inviting their colleagues so it’s a real outreach tool. I guess since Im no longer sponsored by the main church, I can consider myself a small home church, because that is what God has called me to do. It was nice socializing with the girls. They wanted to know what men think like, and they wanted my point of view. So I told them essentially, men are pigs, present company included. So you just have to be careful. Everyone at their core nature is selfish. But we need God in our lives in order to overcome our core nature. So everyday, I have to try to de-pork myself.

I was tempted to go to a movie tonight, but Im so tired. I think flying all night really did me in. Plus, I worked out so hard at the Grand Hyatt’s facility. I think I overdid it. They had such amazing machines, I just couldn’t bring myself to stop. So Im sooooooo sore. Im glad Im not playing squash or doing anything that physical for the next couple of days. I think I’ll just lounge around at home tonight. That sounds incredibly inviting.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Don't just do something, Stand there!

Im sitting in the Dubai airport Business class lounge. Im getting pretty used to this travel thing. I really kind of enjoy it. It again just goes to show you that anytime you are in the center of God’s will…and I know that I know that I know that I am in the center of God’s will he gives you physically and mentally what you need to thrive. So that is exactly what has been happening. I certainly feel called to be in the Middle East for this season. How long the season will last, only God knows. When I first felt the call as most pastors or missionaries will tell you, my first concern was the children. God told me very clearly that he would take care of them. Im absolutely certain, without going into details, my being here is the best things for the kids. Primarily to avoid conflict. I will have a renewed relationship with them soon, God has assured me of that.

I went to a midnight movie last night, why? Because I could, Im on vacation. So I walked back and played on the computer after and then went to bed at 3 am. While staying in this beautiful hotel would be much better with a spouse or a family, Im making the most of it. I always have told people, that you have to love yourself before you are able to love someone else, or that love becomes imbalanced or co-dependent. My problem in my marriage, is that I got my esteem from my wife, and when she no longer loved me, that created a void in my life. Because she didn’t love me, I no longer loved myself. Thus the relationship became increasingly co-dependent on my part which further pushed her away. In hindsight, I should have done what God originally told me to do, and that was to leave it entirely in his hands. That brings me to this point of transition. You know its amazing, I know now what makes a marriage work because of my failed marriage probably more that what married people know. Its kind of crazy, but Im really good at learning from mistakes. So the second time around, and there will be a second, Im assured of that, Im going to be the best husband in the world. Whoever the next Mrs. Rick Beeman will be, is in for a wild ride.

I gave my notice that I’d move out of my apartment next month. The place I was going to live, isn’t going to work anymore. The person is now asking for the equivalent of $750 more per month in rent (essentially what Im overpaying now) and he wants six months payments down. That isn’t going to happen. So with the financial crisis still looming, and the restructuring of the office, I might have a tendency to worry a bit. But as I was meditating on God today, he told me very clearly to leave the details to him. “Don’t just do something stand there.” He was very clear that if I tried to take things in my own hands, I would just mess it up. Like when I tried to save my marriage, I just made everything worse, and I should have kept it with God. I planned my way, and now God wants to take over and direct my steps. I have such an amazing peace, because God has come through time and time again for me. By remembering those times, gives me faith. With faith my prayers will be answered. Its not like I even need to pray. God knows my needs before I even ask, so instead its just better spend my time worshipping. So that’s exactly what I’m doing. By the way…if ever you are in a dark place and don’t know how to get out, your best resort is always to worship. It really works. It really confounds the enemy. Here he throws everything he can at you, and you are still praising God. That’s what Paul and Timothy were doing when they were in prison.

I slept in til 10 and decided to splurge. I ordered Room service breakfast. The incentive or pork bacon (hard to find here) really tipped the scales. I know that paying $30 for breakfast was a little ridiculous. But I thought people might look at me funny if I were to go to the restaurant in my underwear. I was determined to have breakfast in my underwear. So it was delicious. I got a late check out at 3, and basically just lounged around the room chatting with an old friend on the internet. I had a great second meeting with the Bollywood Producer. We are so on the same page. Not only is there a potential business relationship down the road, I think we could be pretty good friends. I had to check out of my room at 3. So I went to the Grand Spa, got a locker, and threw all my stuff in there. I worked out for an hour, went swimming in the outdoor pool at sunset, then swam in the indoor pool. I fell asleep on the lounges in the indoor pool, while new age music was serenely playing in the background. I’m pretty sure it was the picture definition of relaxation in luxury. I went to spa afterwards had a shower and got dressed. I still had a few hours before I needed to go to the airport. So I went to the cinemas again, which are adjacent to the hotel. I saw another movie, Tenderness with Russell Crowe, very great drama. Then by the time it was over, back to the hotel to get my stuff, and back to the airport. These past few days were a holiday in Bahrain. They celebrate National Day on the 16th and 17th, so Im not missing any work. Plus when I get back it will be the weekend, so essentially it’s a four day weekend for me. One that I believe I have spent very well.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Dubai!!!

I felt really really dumb today. I was so beat yesterday. I could barely finish my blog. I set the auto wake up call for 7:20 to give myself plenty of time to make my 9 am appointment. So I just collapsed. I remember waking up and seeing light outside my room. Knowing it was daytime I was pretty perplexed as to why my wake up call didn’t wake me up. So I looked at the non-digital clock next to bedstand, the arms said 5:30 Am. So I gladly thought whew, another hour plus to slumber. Happily I went to back to sleep. I woke up a few hours later and still there was sun outside my window, and still my wake up call didn’t happen. I looked at the clock next to my bed and it said 5:30 am…What???? So I jumped out of bed and turned on my computer pretty horrified to see that it was 11:30 am. I had overslept and missed my meeting. Now this is a nice hotel Im staying at…The Grand Hyatt. This sort of thing isn’t supposed to happen. What made it worse, is that I couldn’t contact the guy I was having the meeting with. The numbers here are weird, there is a country code, sometimes you have to dial 0, sometimes you have to dial + then if there is a city code that makes it even more peculiar. I haven’t figured it out yet. So I hopped on the email, and saw a note from the guy from my meeting written from his blackberry asking me where I was. So after a few emails, he was very understanding about my situation. I really felt unprofessional. So here’s the silver lining. I called the front desk and asked to speak to a manager. I explained the situation. They sent up a tech to check the phone wake up call…and wouldn’t you know it…it worked perfectly. I know I entered the time correctly, but what must have happened is that the phone got cut off before the time registered..thus they have no record of me making the request…thus the lack of the call. But after some negotiating, they compted the second night stay. So that made the whole ordeal a little more digestable.

So I had the afternoon free. After not eating for about 24 hours, I was feeling really hungry. I can’t see myself taking a taxi just for two minutes to get food, and I don’t want to pay $18 for a cheeseburger more than once. So I walked to a nearby mall…10 minutes. I had some lunch there then back to the hotel. They have an amazing and very long pool. This must be a five-star resort. So I swam the length of it, and it took me about 5-6 minutes to go from end to end…one way. Im a pretty fast swimmer to boot. So after 4 laps I was spent. I lounged by the pool in the warm Arabian sun. While some that live in Saskatchewan might be experiencing -40 c, I was soaking up the sun in 78 degree perfect weather. Winter time is coming, so it might dip below 74 here a few days then you break out your parka. But the Middle East gets such a rap for bad weather. Yes in July and August, it’s a few degrees cooler than the face of the sun, but for 8 months, its almost ideal.

I am just in love with Dubai. I thought Bahrain was great, but Dubai is fabulous. I always likened Bahrain to a poor-man’s Dubai. Dubai is it. It has everything here. Plus I think there are more non-arabs here than there are arabs. Not that it’s a bad or good thing. Its just that it’s a lot like Europe or very western. Lots of Americans here. There is Shopping for days, and building upon buildings upon buildings. This would be a great place to live. They also call it Paris of the Middle East. Dubai also has been in the news for amassing tons of debt…which they have. All the skyscrapers and there are hundreds were built on credit, many 10% down. So when the banking collapse hit, Dubai was in obvious trouble. But Abu Dhabi the second largest city, came to the rescue. Abu Dhabi was much more conservative in their growth. Their foundation and stability comes from oil. So Abu Dhabi this week partially bailed out Dubai to the tune of 10 Billion. Still Dubai future and its infrastructure seems great. There is less traffic here now, as many had left when the financial crisis hit. So the booming economy came to a standstill…lots left. Now it seems the economy has righted itself here and is slowly growing back up. The streets are less congested and the real estate prices are more manageable. Its only a matter of time before Dubai becomes booming again. Im convinced that Dubai is one of the greatest cities in the world.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Dubai Film Festival

Im so wiped out today..but it was a truly fantastic day, I’ll try to go through as much of it as I can before falling asleep. I got to Dubai and hug out in the airport business class lounge long enough to eat breakfast. Then I was off to Zayed University. My father had a classmate from Evangel University who is now the provost at the school. He wanted me to meet with the dean of the media department. It was a very interesting meeting.

Then I swung back to the hotel. I decided to splurge a bit. The Bollywood Producer Im meeting tomorrow is staying here, so I decided to stay here to, to make it easier. This place is amazing. Normally I don’t like to stay in nice hotels by myself because it makes me sad that I don’t have a special person to share it with. But I got over it this time. I took a 20 minute nap…that’s it then I was done. Then I went for a vigorous workout in their great facility. I mean state of the art. Then they have a great indoor pool. I went for a nice swim and then just napped next to the pool for about 30 minutes. I was totally refreshed and relaxed.

This is the last night of the Dubai Film Festival. So for their big premiere they were showing Avatar. All the tickets were sold out, but there was a stand-by waiting list in case someone didn’t show up. I didn’t really want to take the risk of waiting and being rejected by I wasn’t doing anything else. So I remember saying a small prayer, God let me get in to see this movie. God cares about the little things right? So Im walking up to the movie and somehow I wind up on the red carpet. Everyone started taking my picture. I felt a little embarrassed and just kept walking. The Dubai Film Fest is a big deal internationally. It draws in a lot of stars. Plus Avatar was premiering internationally here, three days before the worldwide release. So as Im standing in line there are tons of people there. Lots of excitement in the air. I saw many tuxedoes, and evening gowns. People were really going all out for this event. So I tried not to get my hopes up. Then all of sudden out of nowhere I see my friend Art, Mr. Brooklyn. He was invited to judge some of the films. I yelled out for him and we talked for a bit. I told him I was in the stand by line. So he gave me his ticket to Avatar. He had seen so many movies that week…he couldn’t stomach another one. So prayer answered. The film was excellent.

OK…Im dead tired…im not even going to proofread this tonight..so I apologize if there are grammatical errors.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Ovations and Tears

I am feeling amazingly blessed right now. I’m headed off to dubai and I’ve just been bumped up to Business Class again. Im a gold member (the highest) on Emirates air. I guess one of the perks is automatic upgrades when coach/economy is full. No complaints for me here. It’s the fourth time in the past year I’ve been given a free upgrade. Its only an hour flight, but still its nice. I have to really eat the meal fast. By the time we reach cruising altitude its time do descend. I have figured out a way even when flying economy to get a business class-like seat. I wait until the last minute to book my seats online, then I choose a row of three with one of the seats occupied. Since the middle seats are the last to go, it’s a pretty good bet that unless the flight is sold out, I’ll have an empty seat next to me. It worked the last time I was going and coming from Houston. Its 3:50 am, and I was able to get a couple hours sleep before my flight. I’ll hang out in the business class lounge for an hour or so, then off to my first appointment at 9:30.

The day started out really nice. I just found myself in the morning just praising and worshipping God, all by myself as I got ready. I took my ipod and was listening to a podcast from Pastor Steve Madsen my pastor in Livermore, CA. I’ve been to a lot of churches throughout my life. I think Pastor Steve, maybe along with Jack Hayford, is the best bible teacher I’ve ever heard. Charles Stanley is up there too, but I’ve only downloaded his podcasts, I’ve never actually seen him live. It’s a nice change of pace from Lakewood, where its heavily focused on worship. Steve has been in the book of Acts and the early missionary journeys of Paul. I could so relate to everything in Acts, how the disciples just went by faith where God told them to go. But the part that got me today was when Steve was talking about the persecuted church. It was story of how Paul and Silas were beaten and thrown in Prison. Then he stopped the story and this part really got me. He remarked that this message wasn’t for the people in the congregation, rather it was for the brothers and sisters in the Middle East, communist countries, or other places that suffer persecution for the gospel’s sake. He said they have a tracking program that monitors where the services are downloaded throughout the world. You can better believe that Bahrain is well represented. I haven’t missed a podcast since ive been here. Then he spoke to us specifically in these areas. He said right now we are going to show are support for you who are in these areas. He said, Cornerstone lets show them how much we love them, appreciate them and are praying them. Then for about 60 seconds I heard the loudest most raucous cheer. I would have thought I was at a Raider game (during the glory days). As I heard this while driving to work, I couldn’t help but start to cry. It was the strangest sensation. Then I rewound the podcast and listened again and cried even more. Even as I write this recounting this experience I can hardly type as I keep wiping away the tears. Im afraid the salt from the tears will mess up my keyboard. I was amazingly blessed by this. I have to ask myself why was I so blessed. I certainly haven’t felt direct threat for sharing my faith like others in the region have. Im more than willing to face persecution for my faith. But I think God has spared me thus far. I think because I normally act in a spirit of humility that it disarms people. So was the ovation for me? I know it was, because this place is firing line. It’s kind of sad, but the reality is that I face more persecution coming from the U.S. than I do with any threat that might be in the heart of Islam. So that’s what I took from the support and Love from cornerstone church. I may be emotionally battered because of my divorce, but I have so many people praying for me. I think that is one of the great benefits of this blog. It’s a conduit to people that pray for me. I got a sweet email from a dear friend from college that said, I just read your blog, and now Im going to hug my husband. Its an encouragement for me to love him more than ever. I absolutely love hearing stuff like that. If I can help others avoid the pain that I endured, then God truly is turning something evil into good. It also expands my level of ministry from just the middle east to the cyber world. We have about 150 readers on the blog now, and Im just amazed when I look at the map and who accesses it. Like Paraguay…how does anyone find me from Paraguay?

We did our positive living group tonight. We had a lot of old friends come again. We had seven of us. Four muslims and three Christians. I love that ratio. Its so nice to see God move in this group. I know with the Christians their walks are being solidified. I can see it in their faces and then they tell me with their words. I know my ministry has had a great effect. I think this emotional feeling is important in the midst of the local church not wanting to affiliate themselves with Joel’s message. I think the local church is sure missing the boat. But I don’t want to harp on the negative. I just have to let it go. In no way will it impact what Im trying to do.

The plane is about to take of for our short trip to Dubai. Im feeling amazingly blessed and so hopeful for the future. Im a pretty lucky guy. Crap..Christians aren’t supposed to say lucky…blessed.

Addictions

I am an addict. But let me clarify before your imaginations run wild. I have a very addictive personality. So its easy for me to get hooked on certain things. Most notable was a negative addiction to pornography in the late 90’s which I have chronicled here. That was my Achilles heal, read was. So now that I know my personality I know what to be cautious of. I avoid drinking, drugs, and gambling because I think I could easily be ensnared. So what am I addicted to now?…the Internet. No…not the adult internet just the regular information access. I think its my link to home or my security blanket. I came back to my flat tonight and there was no internet. I didn’t know what to do with myself. It was kind of funny because it was just so sad. I didn’t know how to properly function. Im not on the net all the time, I just want to know its there, then I can do my other things. But without having access to it, I felt like I was in a fog or going in circles. I know it seems stupid, but I don’t watch TV. So you try going a day without TV or the internet and maybe you can empathize.

I don’t think having an addictive personality is all negative. I have learned that I can be addicted to very healthy things. Like my devotional walk, exercise routine, excellence in work, this blog, and other healthy things. So I learned to channel all the negative possibilities into positives. Its working for me now. I just have to careful and self-aware. Ah…that’s a major key to life. Being self-aware. So many people in their lives choose not be self-aware, they are either purposefully choosing to live in denial, are genuinely deceived, or a little of both. When Im not living my life right, I don’t like looking in the mirror because I don’t like the person that is looking back at me. But more often than not, it forces me to be honest with myself and if there is something wrong it forces me to be self-aware and fix it. Its so hard to be honest with yourself sometimes. Its so much easier to blame other people or circumstances for your problems. Its damaging when you have friends that agree with you blaming other people for your problems because that just cements it in your own head. That is how people become self-unaware, delusional. That is a very dangerous place to be. I value the friends that tell me like it is. A true friend does that, but its difficult to hear. In fact it downright sucks. But that is a friend that will stick closer to you than a brother. Friends can influence you positively or negatively so fast.

I went out to lunch today with the Pastor of my church. I really like him, he’s a great guy. But one particular person on the board doesn’t like Joel Osteen’s message. I know that Joel has his critics, many within the church, but since I went to his church I could justify Joel’s methodology. But not according to this one person. We had a discussion/debate and apparently I lost. The church no longer wants to endorse my small group. Really it’s a moot point, because only one person from the church goes to my group. The pastor even acknowledged that this person seems a lot happier since she’s attended. In the year I’ve done the small group, I’ve had about 50 different people come and go. Some stay for a several weeks, some a few, some just one, but 5-8 consistently come week in and week out. Im planting seeds through the ministry of Osteen and its up to Holy Spirit to harvest those seeds. I’ve personally seen about 10 people rededicate their life to the Lord, and about another 15 strengthen their walk with God. The others, the agnostics, Muslims, Hindus, have a new understanding and appreciation for Christianity and who knows when and how those seeds planted will harvest. So even though I think this small group is having a great impact, the members of the board decided it didn’t fall in line with their theology/methodology. To say I disagree is a understatement. But you know what? It doesn’t really matter. God called me to do this with or without a church’s endorsement. I’ll continue to provide dinner and a video of encouragement to whomever might want to come. I don’t have to be in a church bulletin to validate me. As I left the very nice lunch today, I didn’t get upset, discouraged, or disheartened. Its just confirmation to me…that a lot of changes are in the air.

I’ll have to post this tomorrow because….no internet. Im also addicted to Diet Coke.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

reflections on rock bottom #2

I know I’ve posted this before, but I feel somewhat compelled to post again since I am essentially going through similar circumstances but by mindset has completely changed. Ive had about three lowest of the low rock bottom experiences in my life and this is a story of rock bottom #2. I can’t feel too sorry for myself, because it might have been traumatic for me, but I’m sure the loss of one of my children or close family members would be much much worse. We all have are levels of grief of pain, but this is a story of my tragedy. Im not writing this to talk about X or make her look bad. Instead she’s a character in my life that had molded and shaped me. This is more about my choices, perceptions, and reality. I don’t want to make her look bad. I have forgiven her, in fact I pray for her most every day. More than any other person in the world in fact. So bitterness is not intended with this. I don’t want to pick a fight.

That said, the second rock bottom I visited was after I got back from Saudi Arabia in 2005. I think the point Im trying to illustrate that the problems in my marriage were my fault as well. I certainly contributed. You sometimes get your sense of self-esteem from your spouse, especially in a dysfunctional relationship. By that point my happy (in my mind) marriage had turned sour. So towards the end of my marriage and at that point in my career, X stopped believing in me and thus I stopped believing in myself. That was my main problem. I should have gotten my identity from God. I had really deified X, she became almost like an idol to me. That had me really messed up. I think it is possible to love too much, especially what that love supercedes your love for God. That was all on me. That’s why emotionally it hurt soooo bad.

Its really hard to go be aggressive and get work when you are insecure and don't believe in yourself. There was this one time, I was really really really low, probably the second lowest point of my life. I had just gotten back from Saudi Arabia. I was trying to find work in Houston, and couldn't. Hurricane Katrina refugees were all over, and everyone was preparing and evacuating for Hurricane Rita. I couldn't find a job. I was panicking because I felt I had to prove myself as a provider and had a very limited time frame in which to do it. I didn't know anyone in Houston. So I remember going to a grocery store, trying to get a job a baggage handler, here I was 37 years old (at the time) with a Master's degree...I couldn't get a minimum wage paying job that teenagers get. So I went home..broken...I asked for a hug... She says..."Your parents don't believe in you, your friends Chris and Wendy don't believe in you, Your sisters don't believe in you, and I don't believe in you." With that she got up But that was the start of the rebuilding process. I knew I had to get my sense of esteem and worth from God, the way that it is designed to be. I was no longer getting my sense of esteem from my spouse the way I had been. It was great when she believed in my dreams, but when she stopped it was devastating. You know…its no wonder I struggled in my career since I didn’t believe in myself. Behind every great man there is an even greater woman that believes in him. I didn’t have that. So I renewed myself and my esteem through God and no one else. It also helped that I started going to Joel Osteen’s Lakewood, the king of believing and claiming your authority in the Creator. So since the divorce, and my 100% reliance on God, my career has been very very stable. In fact the last three jobs I’ve lost, (I’ve lost a lot of jobs in my career) I’ve had new and better jobs within 24 hours. I hadn’t been looking even prior to that. I know I must be doing something right.

So as Im at a point of transition. I have to rely upon God’s faithfulness as he has navigated me through rough waters before. My belief in myself through Christ who lives in me is off the charts. So looking back at God’s past faithfulness yesterday gives me loads of faith for tomorrow. I gave my notice to vacate my flat…by faith…and the place where I thought I was going to live might not happen now. Am I worried? Not really. It is kind of exciting for me to see how God will move this time.

So my message to anyone who will listen is to get your identity through Christ. It will fill you with so much faith and confidence. All things work together for good for those who believe and are called according to His purpose. The secret is to continue to be called according to His purpose which means living your life right. That is what Im riding now, and that is why Im putting myself out there…by faith to show God’s faithfulness. Im still very excited about the future. Im sorry if this has been cryptic…I’ll share the details when I feel at peace to do so.

God is faithful. I channeled my pain correctly and God is honoring me for it. Its funny...i had to go halfway around the world and now Im closer to my dreams in Hollywood than ever....

Friday, December 11, 2009

Blah blog

The church today met at the Convention center. Apparently there was a school fair that kicked the congregation out of their normal hall. That’s the problem with churches over here. Not too many buildings are dedicated to worship of anything other than Islam. So often times the Church gets second fiddle to events and Pastor Graeme has to scramble for another venue. On the bright side, we are free to worship. We couldn’t do this in Saudi Arabia of Afghanistan. So you just have to count your blessings. We did have a church luncheon afterwards to that was kind of nice.

I played squash with Darren after. Boy I do love that game. He’s been kicking my butt lately, but I played him evenly this time to a draw. You know what. Im not feeling the blog tonight. So Im going to cut it short. Whenever there is a lot going on in my life that is not appropriate to share, I just have a hard time writing. I know it might not seem like I practice discretion when I post, but I actually do. When I have no mental restrictions, it just flows like stream of consciousness. But…now I have this huge blockage. So much is happening in December, I so want to share it with you and I will in the proper time.

Thanks for your prayers and hanging in there with me.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Christmas Parties

I made a comment in this blog a couple of days ago that I just didn’t plan on celebrating Christmas, or maybe was I chatting with someone? I can’t remember. I told my kids that I would celebrate Christmas over thanksgiving. Christmas used to be my absolute favorite holiday. Why? Not because of the presents, but because I loved the warm sentimentality of family. I loved waking my kids up early and seeing how excited they were to open their presents. Planting reindeer tracks, or reindeer poop, leaving Santa markings all around. Many many fond memories. That is why this divorce has been so difficult. I loved being a dad and I loved being a husband. I mean really loved it. I valued that much more than I valued my relationship with God, which was sin I realize. That’s why it was so awkward for me to be divorced, I had to get an entirely new identity. So that identity had to take hold to experience a whole new way to celebrate the holidays. Christmas has always been about the family for the 40+ years of my life. Now for this (hopefully short) season, its about being isolated. Don’t worry, Im not going to go all “Bah Humbug” on everyone. Christmas obviously isn’t celebrated as much here as it is in the west. So that helps. Still there are enough westerners to spread the Christmas cheer. So I was trying to lay low and tell myself that Christmas didn’t matter. Then it just dawned on me. I had a Christmas banquet for church last night. I hosted a small Christmas party for the cast of the Funniest Person in Bahrain tonight at my flat (more on that in a bit), Im headed to Dubai, but when I get back, I’m throwing a Christmas party for my Positive Living group. Then a few days after that I’m throwing another Christmas party for my office. Plus, I’ve been invited to two Christmas get togethers so far, and Im sure there will be more. So the guy that wasn’t supposed to celebrate Christmas is now involved with planning more Christmas parties than ever. Is that just God’s sense of humor at play, or is it indicative of his plan of covering every detail. It kind of reassures me that even in this lonely time away from my kids, physically and emotionally, that God is protecting me. I have more Christmas parties than ever planned for this year. It doesn’t completely make up for not being with my kids, but it helps. I know very soon, I’ll be remarried (God willing) and have another family to enjoy Christmas with, in addition to when I can get my kids again. So this season is passing. Still I have to look at the positive. Even though my family is broken…I still have family that loves and cares about me. So many people don’t have that. All in all…Im one of the most blessed people in the world…and I constantly have to remind myself of that to keep that perspective.

We did have a party for my cast for Funniest Person. We had about half the cast show up, the rest were traveling or something. It was a nice, fun an low key evening. It was different and very nice. We did a gift exchange. Its amazing, the white elephant type of gift exchange, these people have never done out here. They absolutely love it. Im opening up a whole new world for them. It was just really interesting conversation. We had a Finn, Bahraini, English, Omani, Polish, and American person for our dinner. What an eclectic group.

After dinner, desert, and the gift exchange, they wanted to watch Curb your Enthusiasm. It was inspiring. Curb your Enthusiasm, is a brilliant show that is mostly improvised. The cast goes off of a 6-7 page detailed outline and makes up the rest. That is what makes it great. Its nice seeing that we created something that we will all be proud of. In an effort to spur sales, we are now doing a revenue share with the cast, so that gives them even more incentive to help market/promote it.

Its weird. Im going through some sort of strange psychological phenomenon. I’ve been staying up super late…way too late in fact, like around 2-3 am every day. Its like I don’t want to go to sleep. Im not sure if its because Im tired of sleeping alone, or if its because I want to stay up to see if one of my friends and I will chat online or via phone call. Middle of the night here is usually 4-7 pm U.S. when more people have a chance to talk. It reminds me of when I was in College when I stayed up til 2 am, just because I didn’t want to miss anything. I think the same thing is happening. Im waiting, hoping, expecting something big to happen still.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Something Big is happening in December

Had a really nice day today. I didn’t do much in the office. Its just kind of this weird position Im in. Im still in title the General Manager, but title only. So my job is being adjusted on the fly. God is doing some amazing things in my life. Throughout this whole transition process I’ve had an extreme amount of peace in my heart. I know by this time next month I’ll be living somewhere else. It might be Bahrain, it might be somewhere else. I gave my notice that I’m leaving the apartment. So I will have a new place to call home the middle of the next month. I knew that December would be HUGE for me. God spoke it into my heart. That’s why Im not stressed about the details. God has always come through for me before and this time is no different. By noting down his faithfulness through this blog actually strengthens my faith. And putting it out there for the world to see, Also kind of puts me really out there. But it something Im doing by faith. I guess its like Elijah when he challenged the false prophets to see whose sacrifice would get burned, then he went and poured water of the sacrifice just to make sure that if there was something it would definitely be God. I feel like Im doing a little bit of the same thing, putting it out there to show that God will be God. Because if he speaks into my life so specifically…there’s no reason why he doesn’t speak into everybody’s life the same way. So here I am walking out on a plank, hoping that God will catch. Im not trying to force God into action, that is not my motivation, and I think its wrong. Rather I was this blog to not be about Rick, his heartache over divorce and the loss of closeness of his kids, his career, and life in the Middle East. (I know I just referred to myself in the third person. I can’t believe I did that). Rather I want it to be a chronicle of God’s amazing faithfulness. I hope this encourages you. I certainly don’t want it to be a forum for a negative rant about X. That would just turn it into an online Jerry Springer, and that certainly is not my heart.

After work, I played the Finn in squash at a place called the Dilmun Club. It was convenient because at this same club our church was holding their annual Christmas banquet. I had attended the banquet last year. So it was nice getting together with members of the church in a social setting. There are many pre-existing relationships in the church. There are a lot of families and just not a lot of single people. So Its really hard to get to know people there. The people that know each other just stay in their circles. But rather than just moan and complain about it. I try to be proactive. I try to reach out to the people that are alone, because that is how I would like to be treated. It really works. Ive developed several close relationships that way.

Im creating my own website. Its actually easier to do than I thought. Right now…there’s just one page, but hopefully by this weekend, I’ll have it updated with pictures, videos, this blog and other things.

Now that the inauguration of the port is complete I can release the video to the public. If you’d like to learn a little about Bahrain’s interesting history check out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VM1Wza4i6C8

Thanks again for your prayers, I think you’re all in this with me.