Rick Beeman

  I have been writing quite a bit lately about the confounding peace that I am experiencing in the midst of all the unhappiness. I am quite surprised by it all even as I experience brief moments of joy and happiness.  I am trying to keep this all in perspective as I know that there will be good days and bad days and a lot of Blah days.  Today was a bad day.  I’m just really discouraged.  I know intellectually that I’ll get through it and tomorrow will be a better day.  But right now I’m just down.  I can’t do anything to fix my situation or make it better and that is the frustrating part of it all.  The only thing I can do is just not make it any worse and endure.  I have found a good strategy when these moods come upon me (other than the obvious with a lot of prayer and praise) is to call it a day and go to sleep early.  That surprisingly has been quite effective.  Yet at 8:41 pm as I write this, I just can’t bring myself to go to ...

  I had a different yet totally fulfilling day. I was tempted to feel guilty for doing whatever I want but that is the position in which I find myself.  I spent most of my adult life trying to figure out what to do for the best of the group/unit and then trying to make the best of it.  Now I find myself just needing to be concerned with one.  I wish it were different.  I’m starting to embrace my new identity of being single albeit reluctantly single.  I should say in my singleness I’m leaning into my faith in God like never before.  While I’m alone I’m increasingly less lonely.  While I do miss the companionship of a spouse and the presence of my kids I’m learning to be at peace at all times.  The hard part for me in being alone is that I will always believe it is best for the children to be reared in a two parent home with their mom and dad.  So I find myself with guilt in not being able to provide that stable foundation for my own chil...

  I had such a wonderful time with my girls this past weekend.  It’s been a few days since I blogged because I was trying to keep my focus and every minute of my day on them. I don’t have them as much as i’d like so each moment with them is precious.   We didn’t really do anything either.  I think we just enjoyed each other’s company.  I always have a bit of a downer whenever they go back home but this is a little different.  This is my new reality.  I just have to learn to accept it.  There is nothing I can do to fix this situation.  The only thing I can do is make it worse.  I’ve been taking the necessary steps in self-development and discovery to ensure that backwards steps don’t happen.  I am blessed with three remarkable girls that each are absolutely unique.  It’s pretty amazing how ideal they all are.  I am so very proud of them.  What sucks about this whole situation is that they are the victims in this (as al...