Last Tuesday with the South African...

It was strange, I came home at 9:30 PM tonight and I thought something was wrong.  I can’t remember the last time I was done with a social activity or work this early.  It kind of felt good.  I went out to eat with a bunch of South Africans at an Indian Restaurant…they like their food hot hot hot…  It was actually my Tuesday small group and this is the last time we’d be meeting with Casper before he leaves Bahrain and travels back to South Africa to start his job.  Casper’s tale is a real success story.  I’m very proud of him and his lovely wife Mariette.  I should probably go into detail…because my son was questioning that maybe I didn’t heard God right when he told me to come to Bahrain.  X is putting doubts in his head as regards to my calling.  But if I need any proof, I just turn to my friend Casper. 

I loved being used of God and am open to however and whenever he will use me.  Whether its in Taiwan, Saudi Arabia, Los Angeles or someplace even more remote like Oklahoma.  Im open to go wherever he beckons.  I have such peace that Im exactly where Im supposed to be for this season in my life.  It sucks that I’m away from the kids…yes…but if I could I would have them out here with me in a heartbeat.  But I’ve complained about that enough for awhile..onto something different. 

So Casper invited me to lead his small group, I was hesitant at first because of all my other commitments.  I presently have one night free a week…Woo-hoo for Thursday.  So I contemplated it…and it just so happens that my Tuesday commitment got shifted so I had some time.  I joined this group and Im so glad I did.  God really used me to speak into these guys lives I believe.  They all had happy families and were successful engineers.  I was the oddball divorced American of the group.  Yet God used me in so many ways to teach life lessons which they never considered.  I learned all those lessons from my pain.  Perhaps if they will listen they won’t have to endure the heartache and learn from my pain.   So Casper mentioned something tonight at dinner that made me very proud.  I can’t really take credit for it…I was just being obedient to what God was speaking into my heart.  Casper mentioned that he’s convinced that the decision to move away and back to South Africa was so easy because we as a group supported him by fasting and prayer.  So when the time came to make the decision there really was no decision to be made.  God had already directed his steps.  That’s a key point here.  When you are living your life right…I think most of life’s choices become amazingly simple and easy.  Even when it entails moving across the globe.  So here are these bunch of South Africans who have never fasted before trying a fast to support their brother in his time of need.  Now Casper three weeks ago was dreading his life.  Yet today he was full of peace and joy as he saw first hand how God was taking care of his every need.  He sold his boat, and his two cars (the latter while we were at dinner).  Now he is very excited about going back to South Africa and the life that is calling him there.  He’s going to be a dad in 7-8 months, new job, new hope.  I’m so happy for the guy.  I prayed many times in the last few weeks as the pits of despair and fear were creeping up on him.  I kept telling him…Casper fear is not of God…its an attack of the enemy who is trying to steal your peace and joy.  Fight back with scripture.  I prayed with him…outloud…you have to pray outloud because Christians have dominion of the dark forces of the enemy, but they can’t read our minds but they can hear our voices.  I said pray this way…”spirit of the enemy, spirit of fear, whatever spirit that doesn’t glorify Christ I command you in the name of Jesus to flee from me.”  Casper said that prayer really changed his perspective.  Now it didn’t do anything right away like get him the job offer.  Rather, it helped him cope and get through the day.  He said the prayer really worked where he was less fearful after he prayed.  But sometimes he had to pray again and again, yet each time it worked.  So Im very proud of the peace and joy that Casper has.  Im even more humbled and proud that God used me as a conduit to speak into their lives. 

I met another interesting guy today.  Actually I had met him at a press conference last week.  We connected and are trying to figure out a way to work together.  There are many similarities with our tales.  Im here to bring the film industry to Bahrain, he’s here to bring the music industry.  He lived in Los Angeles…I lived in Los Angeles…His wife is from Tulsa and he lived there for a spell….well…my X-wife is from Tulsa I lived there for a spell.  So hopefully we can figure out a way to work together in the future.  He’s going to need some help with video production.  He’s still very well connected in Los Angeles, he used to run a production company with Corbin Bernsen.  Its amazing the people Im running into over here.  Its totally divine appointments and God’s favor.  I think its going to be leading to something big, big big.  So yes…I know I heard God’s voice correctly when I decided to move here.  At no point in the past six months have I ever doubted that.  That is a great feeling made possible only because im seeking Him with all my heart soul, mind and strength.  Im a blessed and fortunate soul.  

Late Night...

Wow am I wiped out.  Its 12:30 am and Im still at the office.  I am enjoying this, but still the mental drain takes it toll physically sometimes.  I have a contact going to Hollywood tomorrow.  He asked me to compile 10 creative projects which he could pitch to some of the Hollywood power brokers.  Our hope is that they are looking for the next “Slumdog Millionaire” and one of the 12 projects we are submitting (I threw in two extra) could be it.  I wrote five of the projects and the other seven I had submitted from various filmmakers in the region.  It’s a long shot, but if we hit with just one of them, we’ll be sitting pretty for awhile. 

I didn’t stay at the office too late today.  I had an interview with the minister of works about the new shipping port that is opening.  He was very high up on the ladder of the government.  It’s the equivalent of talking to the Secretary of State in the U.S.  I was very honored to chat with him.  He seemed like a sharp man.  I went home for a bit after that and then we had our positive living group.  We had guests this time…woo-hoo…so it wasn’t just Guy, Reji, Beni, and I.  We actually had four more show up.  We watched an episode of Joel and it sparked for some interesting discussion.  I don’t feel led to make this get together too overly spiritual.  My calling is to the seeker sensitive group and I don’t want to scare them away with too much religiosity.  My strategy is from St. Francis of Assissi…Preach the Gospel always when necessary use words. 

Im sorry if I offend any of you with my frustrations regarding the loss of my family.  Its still very difficult to take.  I try not to say anything but sometime I just boil over.  I was complaining last night so much, I didn’t even tell you what an incredible day it was for me.  I got a lot of work done…and best yet…in quiz night, we won 3 of the 5 rounds, seldom do teams ever win two…but we bagged three.  The other two categories we finished second.  Someday we’ll get a sweep, I just know it.  I was having so much fun last night…I just had to keep asking myself, am I dorm for liking this so much.  I think I am…but its cool to be a dork sometimes. 

So please I ask you to please pray for the restoration of my children’s relationship with me.  They are under some heavy psychological pressure at this point.  There is a spirit of “Us against him” in that house.  Its really a shame.  Its all very childish and immature…yet I have to live with it and deal with it.  But I know that God has a plan in my life and part of that plan involves the children.  I have to trust as he is taking care of me…he is also taking care of them.  I better cut this short…I can barely keep my eyes open.  

X is at again...

X is at it again.  I talked to Max for the first time in a month.  I had earlier written X an email asking for permission to have the kids come out and visit me for four weeks in July, during my regular visitation period.  She responded, “no.”   Max then called to leave a message telling me to stop twisting his mom’s words, and that he didn’t want to go to Bahrain and for me to stop making their house look so bad.  He was crying and very upset absolutely insistent that he didn’t not want to go to Bahrain.  Then he said it was his choice…and not anyone else’s.  No one influenced him.  But he also said…”Mommy isn’t blocking me going to Bahrain, but If I come back the door will be locked”  Meaning he won’t be allowed to return to his home.  So of course Max and the other kids don’t want to visit, if they do…they won’t be allowed to go back to the home they know and their friends…so of course they are choosing not to visit.  All I wanted was four weeks for them to experience this incredible life that Im living over here.  This is “parental alienation” at its absolute core.  It’s manipulating the non-custodial parent to be the “bad guy” while convincing the children that their thoughts are entirely their own and not influenced by anyone else.  My life and the fracturing of my relationship with my children is a text book example of this. 

So what’s the solution?  The kids asked me not to write about this…but that’s just X and new hubby trying to manipulate me not writing about their issues and using the kids as a conduit to convey the message.  That’s another example of manipulation.  It just seems to be getting uglier and uglier.  Is it my fault?  I look in the mirror every day and do a self examination, as I talk to God.  I think Im doing the right thing here.  But it seems like no matter what I do…the situation gets worse and worse.  It gets worse if I write about it…it gets worse if I don’t write about it.  Bottom line is that I’m the “bad guy”.  Everything is my fault.  While I do accept a certain amount of culpability in the dissolution of my marriage…and the fracturing of my family by my relocating to Bahrain, I don’t think its 100% my fault as the children are being led to believe that it is.  It’s a one sided argument that I can’t win.  One thing I tried to tell Max through all the tears…Is that I will always love him…no matter what.  It was hard not to say anything bad about his mother…but I held back.  I still pray for his mother and her hubby almost everyday.  That prayer was so difficult at first…but it says I think in proverbs…Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.  I’ve been trying to do that.  It sucks that X has decided to set us up as enemies…but it is what it is.  Im sure she’ll justify her actions that she is merely reacting to the items I write about in my blog.  I’ve been writing in the blog for about six months.  This alienation, the calls to CPS, the allegations of horrible conduct, sheriff’s arriving on my doorstep with bogus allegations, has been happening a lot earlier before I started writing this blog.  It seems as if every two weeks there has to be some sort of conflict or issue.  Now this issue all started about a silly message left on a voice mail.  Aren’t there more important things in life to worry about?  I love my children…I miss them desperately…but Im here in Bahrain because I believe I’m on a divine appointment.  God is using me in some pretty amazing ways here to minister and help many people in my own way.  I’ve seen God use me specifically with others…more than 30 occassions at least since I been here.  Yet my son says “How do you know it was God that called you?  Maybe it wasn’t God.”  So I believe X is planting those seeds of doubt in his head…and the worst possible thing could occur, getting the kids to not only doubt their Dad, but perhaps doubt God.  I hope I don’t have to write about this anymore.  It sucks…its repetitive and it keeps getting worse.  So Im open to your comments if you think It’s horrible what Im doing to my kids or writing about them.  I don’t want to be a bad dad.  I just wish I had my children back.  Everyone tells me…just wait it out…love them…they’ll come around eventually but I am just wishing and hoping that I don’t have to wait 10-20 years to see that come to fruition.  This sucks….

10 minutes

Whew what a day.  I woke up at 4:30 AM with that still small voice in my head saying get up now…I’m going to need the extra time.  My alarm wasn’t supposed to go off til 5:15 am and that 45 minutes sure seemed good, especially since I didn’t got to be til 1:00 AM anyways.  So I laid there and argued with that voice in my head…is it God speaking to me…or is it my voice.  Im convinced its God as he and I have conversations.  You’d think I’d learn by now not to argue….but no…I laid in bed for an extra 10 minutes then I got up.  Thinking 30 min. early should give me plenty of time.  My father graciously offered to drop me off at the airport, return the rental car, and take a taxi back to the hotel in case I ran into any problems.  I declined at first thinking myself wholly self sufficient…then I second guessed and Im so glad I did.  We left the hotel at 5:30 am…but had to wait for the Valet to get the car about 10 minutes.  Then we found the airport but had to gas up the rental car…we found a gas station but it was on the other side of the street.  We got gas…then couldn’t find a place to make a U-turn.  I think Arabs and the Middle East in general don’t believe in the right for a vehicle to make a left hand turn.  Its almost impossible.  So our little detour cost us 20 minutes..this when we were two minutes from the airport.  So I check the baggage, and my father offers to wait while I check in, just in case.  At this point its 6:45 a full one hour and twenty minutes before my flight leaves.  I was bringing back some equipment from Dubai…namely a video mixer in a self-contained shipping box.  It was 53 Kilograms.  I just thought I’d have to pay an overweight fee.  But no, the ticket agent wouldn’t let me check in.  I begged and pleaded…but no way.  The only thing I could do was take it to Air Cargo.  So I brought all my stuff back to my father whom I was glad had waited.  If I had returned the rental car by myself with all that baggage, I would have been in a  world of hurt.  So we quickly made it to cargo village.  I found Emirates air…which also traveled to Bahrain.  I checked it in, they weighed…then I had to go through customs and a bunch of other hurdles.  Once I got finished paying….I got out of cargo at 7:45…my flight left in 20 minutes at 8:05.  So we found the airport and I rushed out of the car…I said goodbye to my dad, gave him instructions to the rental car then ran inside hoping that I still had time to make it through the immense Dubai Intl. terminal to make my flight.  I was through the security check and headed to the counter when my dad came in screaming…Rick…rick.  Apparently I had the keys to the rental car in my pocket.  I threw him the keys over the x-ray security machine said goodbye and ran to the counter.  I got to the counter at 7:55 am…they wouldn’t let me check in because they close it 20 minutes prior to the flight departure.  So essentially missed the flight by 10 minutes.  Do you think I wanted that 10 minutes back that I argued with God early that morning?  You bet.  So I lost the ticket too.  It wasn’t that big of a deal because the ticket was only $30 usd.  So I didn’t panic.  I looked around the airport and found another airline, Bahrain Air with a flight that left in 90 minutes.  The ticket set me back about $100 bucks…but I was glad to find a flight.  I was worried I might now make it back to m acting class.  But now..I can still make it.  I think it was a little lesson that I learned.  Not hit the snooze button when God calls. 

So I made to acting class and Im glad I was able to keep that commitment.  The children and teens are harder to teach because they are smaller classes.  I get much more enjoyment from the adults, because I feel like I can share more of my life experiences.  There is more mutual pain to consider and share amongst the grown ups.  I really feel like the class is growing not only in acting ability, but personally.  That brings a great deal of fulfillment.  After the class we all went out to dinner together…There were about 9 of us…or half the class.  We are all starting to build very strong friendships and relationships together.  That is a great feeling.  

A spectacular day in Paradise.

A spectacular day in Paradise.  Did I just say paradise in the Middle East?  Yes, I suppose I did because it certainly felt that way.  I slept in late which felt fantastic, as I don’t get a chance to do that often.  I woke up and went for a swim in the Ritz Pool.  Now this pool is different than most pools.  Its not really wide, but rather its very narrow with many canals weaving around the landscape.  Its actually quite long.  Along the canals are a series of jets and fountains with a giant cascading waterfall at the end.  One swim back and forth leaves you knackered.  So its very very long.  It was a nice morning workout.  After the swim, I went up to the club lounge with my folks and we were treated to a magnificent breakfast.  We had another great conversation…how nice it is that Im friends with my folks.  The good thing about the divorce is that it brought us closer together.  I really love my parents and the last 10 days have been a lot of fun with them.  Im sad they are leaving so its going to take a few days to adjust to life without family around again.  Knowing my mother…she’s probably starting to cry just reading this right now.  After breakfast went for another swim, as my Dad went for a swim in the Persian Gulf.  I laid out on the grass and had a margarita, diet coke, and French fries and soaked in the Arabian Sun.  The weather was absolutely perfect…not a cloud in the sky and must have been around 80 degrees.  It sure felt like paradise.  After the snooze, went back up to the club level for some great hors’ doeuvres’ Then it was off to my meeting at the Grand Hyatt to meet a guy by the name of AB.   Now I didn’t know AB and I knew very little about him.  I googled him and I saw something about him producing Bollywood films.  That was enough to justify the trip.  Remember a few days ago I felt God compel me to go to Dubai very strongly.  I think meeting AB was the reason why.  I didn’t know what he looked like and he didn’t know what I looked like.  Still its not hard to find someone when you are wide eyed and searching for someone.  So AB and I connected and the first question we were both kind of asking each other…was now who are you and why are we meeting?  But we hit it off immediately.  He told me his story.  He is an Indian that was born in South Africa, but then in his formative years his family was exiled and he grew up in Toronto.  Now he lives between Abu Dhabi, India, and South Africa.  AB is a mover and shaker in every sense of the word.  I just immediately like the guy.  I fed off his energy.  Do you remember Gandhi…well most of you that know of Gandhi, know of him from Ben Kingsley’s portrayal in 1982’s Richard Attenborough’s classic Oscar winning film “Gandhi”  Part of Gandhi’s life was spent in South Africa defending the rights of certain Indians.  One of those Indians was AB’s great grandfather.  How cool is that?  Gandhi and AB’s great grandfather were friends.    Wait the coolness factor gets even deeper.  I told AB that one of the reasons why I got into the film industry is because I was so moved by a movie called Cry Freedom, 1987 film about South African Apartheid, starring Denzel Washington as Steve Biko and Kevin Kline as journalist Donald Woods.  That film motivated me and moved me so much, that God spoke to me to go into the industry.  I want to have that type of power to influence and inspire people to change.  The easiest way to change the world is through education.  We aren’t going to send people back to school, so the easiest and most effective way to educate is through the media.  That’s why Im doing what Im doing right now.  When Cry Freedom came out it was largely banned in South Africa for political reasons.  But AB’s father who owns a string of movie theaters took a stand for what he believed in.  He displayed Cry Freedom despite numerous death threats and political repurcussions.  So they displayed the film, one small bomb went off but that’s it.…you can say that the family had something to do with the end of Apartheid.  AB’s family also became very close with Mandela.  Im sure AB and I are going to be working on big big projects in the future.  This indeed was a divine connection.  Im very fortunate that I had the opportunity and pleasure to meet him.  He’s not that old….but very accomplished. 

After the meeting I swung back to get my parents and we were off to Cirque De Soleil.  I love Cirque De Soleil…but had never seen a live performance.  My father treated us to VIP tickets.  They were very expensive…and it sure seemed worth it afterward.  We were in row AA.  So we thought A-Z…then rows AA, BB, CC etc.  So we thought we’d be 27 or 28 rows back.  It didn’t turn out that way.  We were the very first row…dead center.  The absolute best seats in the house.  Almost needless to say…we were all blown away by the performance.  It was absolutely beautiful and quite breathtaking.  The acrobatics that these agile and athletic performers accomplish is simply awe inspiring.  It was a climactic end to a wonderful 10 days with my parents.  It feels nice to have family again.  I have to fly back to Bahrain tomorrow morning at 6 am…to teach my acting class.  They fly back to the U.S. tomorrow at 12.  Our short little mini vacation to Dubai certainly was worth all the effort.  Now my concern is trying to get the massive video mixer I bought in Dubai back on the plane and through customs.  But that adventure is for another blog day.  Fro now…Im basking in the afterglow…of a spectacular day in Paradise.  Only one thing could have made this day better…and that would be to have my kids with me to experience all that God is blessing me with.  But that will happen with time…Im quite certain.  

More bellyaching again and Dubai thrown in for Mid-East flair

I had such a wonderful night with Khalifa, Tanya, Raimond’s Parents, and my parents last night it was fabulous.  Raimond is Tanya’s husband.   Raimond was out of town for business.   His father looks just like that guy with the moustache from the Monopoly game.  He is from Holland.  He was telling stories about World War II when the Nazi’s occupied Holland.  If I remember right, he lost his father, sister and brother to concentration camps.  One time they were there and the next he never saw them again.  I just can’t imagine the lifelong impression that would leave on someone.  He also said, that he had to go to food lines to survive.  It was a very humbling experience.  To this day he can’t go to a buffet and hold his plate out for food, it brings back too many bad memories. I like hearing stories like that…about how people overcame adversity and lived productive lives.  We all go through the crap..but its how we handle the crap is what defines our character.  I went through the crap…survived…but it seems like the crap is getting worse and worse and worse.  I haven’t talked to my kids in a few weeks.  That really sucks…I call….but they don’t return.  Im not even sure that X is allowing my messages to get through.  The last time Max communicated with me…he said…I left a silly message on his phone again and that proved I haven’t really changed.  Silly message…maybe it was enthusiastic.  Is that the worst thing a parent can do to a child is leave an enthusiastic…I miss you message.  Yes…Im a bit silly at times…but usually with the people I love.  But correct me if Im wrong…Isn’t a father supposed to be silly and have fun with his kids, 15, 13, 11…especially if he’s been that way to them their entire life?  X is really doing some mind control.  Im sure she’s spinning it like I abandoned the kids to their young minds…She’s really good at justifying her actions and twisting the stories to suit her purposes.  So she’s convinced them they don’t want to visit me.    But I would bring them out here to live with me in a heartbeat if I could.  They would love it here.  But the legal battle would be long and costly…and X would throw them in the middle of the battle and that would have long term damaging effects on them….so I just have to wait I out.  Im not good at that….but I pray that God protects them. 

I was reflecting on my week.  I think I was a little more bothered by my singleness than normal.  Im actually pretty darn happy most of the time here.  But having my parents come into my world brought a completely different perspective I wasn't anticipating.  They remind me of family and what I used to have.  Plus their relationship is so special (they've been married for 46 years) I am actually kind of envious.  They gave me an upbringing that wasn't perfect...but it was stable.  That is the best thing a parent can do for a child…stay married to their spouse.  So I failed in that regard (not by choice but by circumstance).  Now the thing is how can I be the best divorced dad around.  Perhaps I could move back to Texas…but X was making my life and their life miserable there too…The police showed up at my house more than once as she tried to charge with me with abandonment or some other bogus charge, or the falsified reports with CPS she manipulated the children into making.  The crap is almost unbelievable what she’d try to pull.  The closer I was the more contentious it seemed to become especially when she got married.  I think she felt guilty and had to keep re-inventing reasons that she made the right choice…so I had to become the bad guy in her and everyone around her eyes.    So I think that was one of the reasons God called me to the Middle East…so the target of me would be lessened.  But now she’s attacking my silly messages and buying ipod touches for my daughter…certainly mountains out molehills…and the result is the kids aren’t talking to me.  Its hard to imagine this…but she, like everyone else, is justified in her own mind .  It sucks…as my kids have to suffer through this. 

OK….enough whining….  If you are married…and thinking that the grass would be greener…don’t, don’t don’t.  Divorce is the worst thing ever, I think worse than death.  There are so many victims.  For example, my mother still is not over the divorce as she grieved the loss of her relationship with her grandchildren…or at least the relationship she used to have.  OK…enough of that crap.  I’ve said…crap like fourteen times in this blog…that has to be a record for this blog.

We got up early and flew to Dubai this morning.  I had to pick up some equipment and drop some off for repair.  So Im making a working trip out of it.  But my phone won’t work over here.  That’s frustrating because we’ve had a few fires I need to put out at the office.  I had to do it solely by email.  My parents are flying out of Dubai on Saturday anyway…so I figured this would be a good way for me to get away for a bit with them.  My dad wanted to see the place too.  So we arrived and got the huge video mixer…I don’t know how Im going to get it on the plane.  I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.   The architecture of Dubai is breathtaking.  There is so much construction going on.  I know the recession has hurt them a bit…but to my naked eye…I didn’t see it. 

Im staying with my parents at the Ritz Carlton in Dubai that overlooks the Gulf.  This place is absolutely beautiful.  It’s the essence of luxury really.  That has me a little lonely too…I just wish I had someone…or my kids to share it with.  I know we’d have a great time by the pool for instance.  But its still nice to share the experience with my parents…but its just not the same.  I was walking in the hallway…and one of the Ritz employees…walked by and said…Good evening Mr. Beeman…  “What?????”  How did he know my name….I didn’t think I met him…but that’s the essence of five star I guess. 

An interesting note about Dubai…Unless you looked on a map, you’d never know it was in the Middle East.  It’s about 80% ex-pat and only 20% arab.  It looks much more European than even Bahrain.  The downside of Dubai..its very expensive…and very crowded. 

I set up my meeting with the important contact.  We’re meeting tomorrow for coffee at four.  He’s really the main reason why I was able to justify this trip.  It could be big.  I hope I didn’t bellyache too much.  I just really miss my kids.  

what a fascinating day.

What a full day it has been.  I knew that we were going to Dubai on Thursday so I had to get in two full days worth of work in one day.  I had an incredibly productive six hours.  Total non-stop amazingly efficient.  Once I got to the end of the day…I just mentally crashed.  I had an interview with a lovely South African girl this morning.  This is the second beautiful south African blonde with dazzling blue eyes I met in two weeks.  What is it with these South Africans?   Most South Africans I have met absolutely love their country because of its beauty, but won’t return because of the high crime.  Many South Africans I’ve met think its dangerous to live there.  So they are bit melancholy about their past.  This South African girl actually set up the interview.  Her dad read about me and KSDi in the paper and encouraged his daughter to call us up.  She did, and im so glad she did.  She is a real entrepreneur and a good sales person.  Im not sure what we could give her right now, but she’d be valuable to company in some aspect.  Tanya called me away from the meeting early so we could go meet with the royal family as we were doing their gigantic wedding in three weeks.  Most weddings we do are female only crews because of the conservatism in certain Muslim households.  But this particular Muslim family was even more so.  We can’t even have our guys run the switcher..it has to be a female technician.  They don’t want any men to see the women in the monitors, even though they are in the next room. 

After the meeting Guy and I headed out and stopped at a camel farm.  I took a couple of pictures with the camel (posted on facebook) and I could tell the camel was starting to get irritated because he kept raising his hind leg.  Guy moved in for his close up and the Camel…was rearing up to spit on him.  Guy moved out of the way really fast.  We took a picture of this too. 

Lama, the Lebanese pop star needed her video done this afternoon to coincide with a website that is promoting her.  They absolutely loved the product.  So that’s good because this is potentially an important contact.  Her DVD will go in all the Virgin Mega Stores with a first week of April release date.  She and her husband Karim, wanted to make an entrance with me.  It was really amazing.  There was so much press there.  They were flashing away at the pictures making Lama feel like a real star.  I think she is going to be a star.  She introduced me as her director…which made me feel kind of good.  I guess we are going to get their music video business.  She just needed me there for moral support .

The day wounded up beautifully.  We had our last dinner in Bahrain together (because of the two days in Dubai.  We ate at Khalifa’s Yacht Club.  Tanya showed up with Raimonds parents.  We all had a lovely evening.  Khalifa is one hilarious man.  If you know my father’s cackle laugh….you’ll know that he used it about 10 different times in the course of our meal.  Khalifa is a very generous host.  We think highly of each other.  

Headed to Dubai

I woke up this morning with the strangest impression.  God wanted me to spend some time listening to his voice.  So I did, and I got the impression I was supposed to go to Dubai.  I’ve learned to recognize strong impressions from God.  This was certainly a strong impression.  I also felt like everything would fall into place making it easy to go.  So I made mental preparations to go.  We were going to send some equipment that would have cost about $250 to send over from Dubai for work.  So for the price of my plane ticked $80 RT, I can bring it on the plane with me and save all that money.  So that justifies the trip.  Plus my parents wanted to spend a few days in dubai while they were out here but didn’t want to sacrifice any time away from me.  So with me going to dubai that satisfies the best of both worlds.  My father gets to see the architecture of Dubai (its amazing) and my mother gets to stay in a five star hotel.  But I think the real reason Im supposed to go is to meet this particular South African.  This guy was introduced to me by a friend of a prominent friend.  Apparently this guy is well connected.  I googled him and apparently he has financed several Bollywood films and is a real entrepreneur.  I’m not sure what will come out of it…but it doesn’t hurt to meet people.  Im finding extreme favor with most everyone I meet.  Im convinced it is just God blessing me. 

Now it’s a strange sensation that keeps on building since my parents have been here.  It doesn’t make a lot of sense either.  I have all these people around me.  The more people I have around me that love me…the lonelier I become.  That doesn’t make any sense.  Does anyone else have this issue?  I guess the sense of family around me…reminds me that I miss the emotional intimacy of a mate.  I know I’ll have it soon…but my parents here are reminders of that. 

I’m still in the afterglow of a great meal with Nader and Kirstie last night.  All the Shaheens treat me like family and I’m really beginning to love them dearly.  My parents are also beginning to love them.  They are amazingly gracious people.  My dad and I went driving around a bit today.  He told me…”I can tell why you like this place so much.”  Its nice having the approval of your parents.  They have never understood the film industry but they see that I’m finally really able to make it work.  That gives them a small sense of pride and security knowing they don’t have to worry about me.    

This really is a dream location and dream job.  Im very very very fortunate.  If I had my children by my side…I would be literally walking on clouds.  But I believe somehow someway that will happen soon.  I pray for them as often as I can.  I hate what divorce wreaks upon children and I hate that I was a part of the failed marriage that they have to live with.  Its one of my biggest shames in life.  I often complained to God about that one…God why would you allow this divorce to happen and ruin the lives of these children and I.  He answered me…”That’s the downside of the free will.”  He went on to tell me…”My heart gets broken on a daily basis…so I feel your pain…I understand and empathize with it.”  I want to be in a relationship, and I think I could be in one amazingly quickly if I wanted to be…but I want it to be God’s time as well.  It’s a dichotomy…almost a contradiction.  I long for love….but then when the potential of love presents itself I often get very scared.  There are a couple of reasons for this.  I’ll probably share them at a later time.  But one of the things is you always want what you don’t have.   Yet when someone presents themselves…its hard for me to get attracted unless they are unavailable.  That has to be the stupidest thing ever, yet im living it out. 

I feel like I’ve been a little lax with the blog lately.  I’ve been devoting all my energy to my parents.  But dear readers, don’t worry.  I’ll pick up the pace next week when they are gone.  I don’t want them to leave….but I also want the feeling of loneliness to go away too.  It’s a double edged sword.  

Meeting the Shaheens's

What a great night it has been to finish off an even better day.  It all started well when my father and I went to breakfast.  Im glad I have a good relationship with my dad.  We went to a place that had real pork bacon. They allow pork over here but only at specially licensed restaurants and grocery stores.  In the butcher shop its like a special section you walk in…like the old video stores and the porno section.  It says rather blatantly…for non-muslims only.  The bacon this morning was delicious.  You know you don’t really appreciate a good ham sandwich till you can’t have a ham sandwich. 

I knew I had a lot to do in a little bit of time.  I work 6 days weeks now with the acting class and last night I was at the office til 10:30 p shooting a promo video.  So I didn’t feel bad about taking part of the afternoon off to visit with my parents.  So I got a lot of work done in a very short amount of time.  I was really efficient.  My parents came by and they saw KSDi and met the entire staff.  I was quite proud to show them our operation.  Khalifa was excited to meet them.  Before they arrived…he asked..how old are they?  I responded…they are your age around 69-70.  He got excited…”Oh they are young then.” 

It was a wonderful visit with Khalifa and my parents.  He had so many good things to say about me its almost as if he should become my publicist.  We also had a very good laugh.  The man has an amazing sense of humor and is quite witty.  We decided that we were going to have lunch together on Wed. and then weather permitting make it on his boat on Friday.  I think my parents are having a really good time here.  But it’s a little strange.  It seems like everywhere I go with them I run into someone that I know.  That someone when introduced to my parents…usually go on and on with their compliments about me to my folks.  Its almost as if Im staging these people and scripting what they have to say.  Im nost sure if im running into these people because Im growing in popularity or if its just that it’s a small island.  I think it is a little of both. 

After that we walked around the City Center Mall for a bit.  It’s the largest mall in the Middle East and just recently opened.  We stopped by Gallery One, who will buy our pictures.  I had a nice talk with Alex, the manager.  He set up my meeting with the owner.  We are anxious to get the ball rolling on this. 

After that I came home and worked out for a bit.  I work the weights every other  day.  After that we went to the Ritz Carlton to have dinner with Nader and his lovely wife Kirstie.  Nader is so incredibly well versed on every subjet..I think he’d be able to talk about anything with the exception of “Why I love George W. Bush.”

It was a great evening and I know my parents had a great time.  Its nice being able to share this part of my life with them…since they are my family now that I’ve lost the other due to divorce and manipulation.  They quite like Bahrain and are looking forward to their next trip out here. 

Im tired…is 1:15 am…so im going to go to bed now.  

Missing quiz night

A little bit of a frustrating day today.  I went out to breakfast with my father at Senor Paco’s my favorite Mexican restaurant for breakfast.  They have a delicious and cheap breakfast.  Much to my surprise my regular waiter wasn’t there.  I was disappointed as I’ve come to like him very much.  So I was a little bit put off by the new guy, until he told me that He saw me in Highlights magazine and that the other waiter told him what I liked and prepped him.  Then all the kitchen staff wanted to wave at me.  This is pretty cool.  I feel like it is totally not deserved.  I am gracious still.  I was really looking forward to quiz night tonight.  My parents wanted to go with me.  So I was trying to get everything done early at work.  My shoot at 2:00 almost got cancelled.  The client thought it was too expensive.  We renegotiated and came up with a number.  We scheduled the shoot for 5.  But there was a problem with the make up, so that got us running late…and then later and later.   Finally we were ready to shoot at 8, and the shooting didn’t finish til 10.  So I missed the quiz and I was sick about it.  The director just can’t run off, I had to stick around.  It was good that I did.  I had a great talk with the husband.  We are probably going to be shooting a music video for them a little later.  Again this is one more example of God providing favor for me…and I’m not really doing much to deserve it.  I’ll just take it thankfully with no complaints.

We are starting to get really busy at the office.  That is really good because we had some lean months in there.  I was starting to get nervous.  I think we’ll have to expand the staff soon.  That’s always a good alternative.  Its just that I have to really justify this…because Nader is in the banking industry where it seems like everything is being scaled down…so he’s being extremely cautious.  Luckily we are surviving through the recession…People are still getting married.  That bodes well in our favor.  The acting classes are also bringing in additional revenue to ease the crunch.  What its also beginning to do is get us more noticed in the market place.  By reaching out and getting known to the community we are expanding our marketing base in a grass roots type of level.  Already Im seeing the fruits of this investment.  The shoot today was  a great example of that. 

Im going to cut this short once again.  With my parents here Im trying to devote most of my time to them..so the blog has to suffer.  Its ok really…because my mom is the avid reader of the group…that and AJB.  So if I skip the details she’ll know and AJB will surely write to me…and Reji sees me in the office.  If anyone else would like to communicate…I’d still love to hear from you.

I do appreciate your prayers…but please continue to pray for my children.  Oh…wait this is what I wanted to say last night.  We did this exercise in class..about the sentimental objects.  Three of the girls talked about how there parents got divorced when they were young and when they looked back at the wedding pictures they were saddened.  They were too young to remember the happiness, but they longed to experience what it must have felt like.  They were empty inside lacking emotion security.  In fact all the adults that were child of divorces had the same story…a sense of emptiness that their parents couldn’t stay together.  That just broke my heart because I know my kids (despite the X and hubby saying how much they laugh together) must be broken inside because I sure am.  So if you think about please say a prayer for my children.  I haven’t talked to them for a couple of weeks, though I do leave messages on their phone.  I hope God can produce a miracle and restore my relationship with them.  I do love and miss them so.  

acting class and mom's perspective

OK another great day in the land of Bahrain.  I went to breakfast with my father at Chili’s.  We walked there and had a great breakfast feast..the two of us for $12.  I came back to work out and prepare for my class.  Its nice having family around.  Its been awhile since I had that. 

The classes went very well today.  Its nice seeing the development of the children and teens as they improve.  What really rocked was the adult class.  One of the exercises I had them do, was bring in a sentimental object.  They talked about the object and a few got a little emotional.  Then, I had them do a sense memory exercise on that object.  Sense memory is a type of guided meditation I do in the class that is very effective.  I went first…and my personal, sentimental object was my old and beaten up Bible.  I’ve had it for 25 years and its been around the world a few times.  I explained the story of my divorce how I lost all hope…and the Bible and its promises of hope was the thing that kept me going.  I was trying hard not to preach…but just be honest with them and let my lifestyle preach for me.  I think it was quite effective…its one way to plant seeds.  Then everyone else went and re-told their sentimental objects.  It was a very effective exercise…most everyone in the room broke down…and nearly sobbed/cried hard when they were giving their story.  I often joke that I have a gift to make people cry (some might vehemently agree) but I say that tongue in cheek.  What I mean is that I think God has given me a gift where I can make people feel comfortable and safe about themselves enough so that they can explore emotional areas where they have not explored before. 

I thought it might be a good idea every once in a while to give another perspective on life in Bahrain.  I asked my mother to write about her experiences.  She was like many of you, coming over with fear and apprehension because her view of the Middle East was formed largely by the media.  I thought you might enjoy what she had to say:

“Wow!  Here I am on the other side of the world for the first time in the Middle East,  I am seeing this world that Rick has been living first hand.  Bahrain so far has shown me some very beautiful architure, some of the most gracious and friendly people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

We were invited to a wonderful barbeque our first night here and felt truly welcomed by quite a variety of people all melded into one.  The food was delicious and there was lively conversation from all parts of the world……very entertaining and warm.  It was a beautiful night, warm, outside by the pool, beautiful in every way.

Now I have sometimes a difficult time meeting new people.   Rick has met so very many here and Sunday after church we were invited to an authentic  Indian meal with a beautiful family.  I had never experienced anything like it before.  We ate on banana leaves (usually saved for weddings) , as westerners they gave me a fork and spoon but Don being Don ate the way of the Indian people mixing and eating with his fingers,  (Hope he washed his hands very well)  I tried things I’ve never tried before some very very hot , some very different,, some delicious and some I would    not call my favorite.    The  beautiful family invited us to their home (insisted) and made us wonderful tea.  The beautiful thing that happened before we left was Mama wanted to give me a present and said it was such an honor for us to be there (the honor was completely ours).  She excused herself and came back with a wonderful gold evening bag and gave it to me.  I was a bit teary earlier in the afternoon and this brought appreciative tears again.  What a great experience 

We have much more to see here but thus far Bahrain is modern, beautiful and I would not hesitate coming back and would in a heartbeat.  Rick has introduced us to some wonderful people, I am amazed that he knows so many after being here a relatively short time.  Rick has given  me the afternoon off, (ha) I am really enjoying a great book and a well deserved rest after seeing Israel in 8 days that could have easily been made into 14 days with the speed that my body is used to.

The apartment that Rick is renting is very nice.  Three bedrooms and 3 baths. Very comfortable beds and couches and the greatest of all someone to wash and clean for him at the most reasonable price.  Is Bahrain in my future????Just kidding…but it is wonderful being here, seeing all this, experiencing the cultures and spending bonding time with my boy (even tho he is 40)    Written by Rita with Rick’s persuasion. “

 

No plates, no silverware, and eating with your fingers

A fascinating day today.  Got my parents up early and went to church.  I dropped them off with Reji, I get reji and take him every Friday to church.  So they had someone to sit with when I went and talked with the youth.  I really am enjoying this group.  I wish I had the same forum to share with my teenagers, but I don’t at this point.  I pray that changes in the future.  X has made me out to be a bad guy in their mind.  I think she tells them things that are 10% truth 90% embellishment so she’s not the bad guy and everything is my fault.  I can’t argue with them or defend myself because if I do, essentially Im calling their mom a liar.  So I have decided not to fight. I so miss my kids and wish I had them with me.  If they could only visit for a couple of weeks so they could see what my life is like.  I think it would be a tremendous cultural experience for them.  But X simply won’t allow it.  I have been talking about X a lot the last couple of days.  I apologize if that offends anyone.  I think the loss of the family is more on my mind because my parents are in town to visit.  Being half a world a way in a new country is a great place to start over.  Having my parents around is a reminder of family and what I used to have.  It made me sad.  But I know that God has a plan for all of this.

After church I was so blessed and honored.  A very dear Indian friend invited my parents and I out to a traditional Indian fine dining restaurant.  They didn’t have any plates, instead they served it on a Banana leaf.  There was no silverware so we had to eat with our fingers.  The food was soooo spicy.  The conversation and experience was wonderful.  It was nice for parents to see first hand a different culture.  I was very honored.  It was quite nice. 

After we came home for awhile then I took them to Trader Vic’s at the Ritz Carlton Hotel.  We had drinks and appetizers all very nice.  It turns out I ran into a lot of friends there.  I am getting to know quite a few people here.  We came home and I was feeling a little restless.  Then I spoke to the Romanian who is madly in love with the pilot still.  We hadn’t seen each other in a bit, so after the parental units were asleep, we decided to go to a club.  I had a great time catching up with her again.  We met several people n the various clubs as we hopped around a bit.  The social aspect of seeing friend I know…was ver help for me.  Even though Im surrounded by parents that love me…I miss the intimacy of a companion as well.  Hopefully it will happen sooner rather than later.I really have to start writing these  blogs early.  Im falling asleep at the keyboard again.  I’ll cut this short and try to do better nect time.  

the good, the bad, and the great.

A good day that turned into a bad day that wound up being a great day.  What a roller coaster day its been.  We’re really busy with the last minute commercial shoot, but everything seemed in order.  The client came in and was happy with all the work that we were doing on the project.  I put the project over to Guy since the it had been cast and the cast had been approved.  I took the afternoon and decided to work from home since my parents are visiting.  I figured since I work 6 days a week at about 10-12 hours a day…I deserve a mini break every once in a while.  But my mini-break was cut short.  My lead actor called me and said…”Um I work for a competing real estate firm.  If I do your project, I’ll probably get fired.  Now first of all I totally understand that,.  I wouldn’t want to lose my career over a measly $200 photo shoot.  But...having to find another cast member in less that 18 hours was going to be difficult.  The agent that I talked to couldn’t find any more actors in the right age and range with the right look.  I had to cast this thing in 12 hours…how was I going to do it.  So I said a very short prayer.  I called Nader, since he’s so connected to see if he knew anyone.  He did…so I called this guy up and he agreed.  I ran him by the agency and they thought he was too young at first.  They wanted me to look for someone a little bit older.  Once I explained the situation…they accepted him.  So slight crisis solved/paved. 

Then I was invited to a dinner party at a friend’s house.  I love dinner parties because it allows you the opportunity to have intelligent conversation without being drown out because of the pulsating bass drum.  The dinner was absolutely fantastic.  I met a lot of new people which I really enjoy.  I think it will go a long way in helping my career.  My mother who went kicking and screaming…(She doesn’t like situations where she meets new people) even had a good time. 

There is so much more to write…but I’ve fallen asleep three times while writing this so I’ll have to conclude tomorrow.Im too tired to proofread as well…so if there are mikstakes…don’t hold it against me. 

Nabs my friend left for the U.K. then North Pole tonight.  He’s attempting to be the first arab that walks to the North Pole.  I wish him well.

76 meters high and different perspectives

Last night was one of the first nights in Bahrain that I had a hard time sleeping.  Its strange while I was going through the divorce and up to two years after…I couldn’t fall asleep without two sleeping pills.  I took them regularly.  Otherwise I would lay awake for hours.  Now it wasn’t like I was living my life wrong…I just couldn’t sleep.  Then something weird happen.  The night that I was called to leave Texas, that was the last sleeping pill I ever took.  Im not sure how much it has to do with having peace in my life or not.  But I do have a lot of peace and the sleeping pills are no longer needed.  Leaving Texas in 2007 was the beginning of my healing process, X’s marriage to new hubby was the culmination of the healing of it.  I mentioned this before but the night she got married….was such a horrible night not just for me but for my parents as well because of what it represented.  We all secretly held out hope and prayed for a miracle of reconciliation.  So the day she got married was quite traumatic.  Yet the next day…I woke up and felt peace… Like I had been released from the marriage.  I didn’t do anything different…I just woke up and moved on.  It was bizarre.  Ever since then I haven’t longed for her as a wife.  Yet, I do long periodically for my family, my children, what I used to have…and there is a difference there, I think.  I miss my kids desperately.  I don’t want to fight for them because X has shown she can manipulate them against me and that causes even more long term damage.  For example this past week my son said he changed his mind and wanted to visit me.  I was thrilled.  Yet the very next day he called me to say…”Mommy told me you left another silly message on our phone, so that shows you really haven’t changed, so I changed my mind, Im not visiting you anymore. “ Now this whole silly message thing…I am an enthusiastic guy…I leave enthusiastic messages..and I left the message on Max’s phone, which I pay for so he can have a daddy line.  So why is X so upset when I leave a happy message… It seems like mountains out of molehills to me.  I think I might leave silly messages on everyone’s phone.    I thing X is addicted to drama.  Every two weeks there has to be some sort of conflict manufactured to remind herself that divorcing me was the right thing in her mind.  I think it must be the guilt.  God spoke to me very clearly when I realized how dire the situation in my marriage had become, (that day sucked), …as I was being blamed for it.  God said…this has nothing to do with you (rick), this is between her and I.  That was confirmed three times within the next 90 minutes with three different phone calls from three different people I respect.  Anytime that God speaks to you, he’ll confirm with his word or with witnesses.  So I can fight for my kids…but if X will use them psychologically as pawns…its almost better for me to give up.  It so sucks…I just pray that they come around and see the truth sooner rather than later.  The years Im missing out with them…are pretty tough to take.  I always dreaded Harry Chapin’s “Cats in the Cradle” song.  Now that Im living it out…its very painful.  I think Reji is going to be disappointed in me with this blog…he doesn’t want me to say anything negative…and I think he’s right.  But for some reason I feel compelled to write this and Im not sure why.  Perhaps its because my parents are here…and they are the closest family I have right now.  Perhaps this is an indication of what I lost.  That’s why I ruminate on such things…Can you believe I just used the word ruminate in a sentence? 

So my parents are here…and it feels great.  They like the place im staying at but are exhausted from their world wind trip to Israel.  If any of you plan to visit Israel, Im a short plane ride away if you want a luxurious place to visit.  Im looking forward to spending the next week or so with them. 

I had an amazing morning today.  Had a very productive meeting with potentially a giant client.  Then we did the first interview for the documentary on a shipping port that was just built.  Part of the interview was conducted in a giant ship to shore crane.  Those are the Empire Strikes Back looking things in the Oakland Harbor.  So we went up 50 meters and I was standing on this grid with only two handrails to hold on.  I didn’t think I was scared of heights but this got me.  The wind whipping up didn’t help.  Then they asked me if we wanted to go to the very top.  I said no at first and Manoj the Sri Lankan, was all for it.  So he went up first and I followed.  So there we were at the top of 76 meters less secure than when we were at 50  meters.  I was so nervous that Manoj was going to drop the camera…or a gust of wind was going to do something bad.  Manoj didn’t seem bothered by it all.  I sure was.  When we went back to the 50 meter section..they started moving this gigantic crane…because it rides on tracks…we had to hold on as our weight was being shifted….that was not fun…We got off shortly thereafter…but not without some breathtaking footage…I know it was breathtaking because it took my breath…by force.  

Another spectacular day

Wow…another one of those day that so many good things happened to me.  I should add these “spectacular” days up…because they certainly seem to be piling up on me.  I’m absolutely convinced, its just God’s favor shining down upon me.  The first meeting was with a lady from Ministry of Social Development.  My pastor set up the meeting.  She was soooo exciting about meeting me.  It was really encouraging…what we specialize in at KSDi is exactly what she needs.  I don’t think she’s a believer…but I kind of felt like I was an answer to her prayer.  She was so enthused that she brought by her husband and colleague a little bit later in the day to come by our office to see our work.  It was all pretty exciting. We are going to work closely together in the future as she is very well connected.  We can both be of great benefit to each other.  She wants to change the world too.  The more I tell people that…the more they believe it.  I think it inspires them to try to change the world too…that is my goal. 

We had to scramble for the next meeting.  I took a call from a client yesterday that needed this big photo campaign done in less than five days.  I gave them a bid…it might have been too low and they accepted.  So now we have four days to complete the shoot.  It’s a lot of work since we have to find 13 locations, four actors, one male adult, one female adult and two children 10-12.  Here’s the catch they can’t be too dark or too light…they want a mix…and they want it to be a family and they want it by 10 am tomorrow.  Huh…that’s hard to do even in Los Angeles…let alone Bahrain.  This is a new client so Im really trying to go the extreme extra mile with them so they will work with us again. 

FACT magazine is doing a four page spread on us in next months issue…so I need to have a photographer come to the class (Armand the South African is unavailable because he’ll be on the other shoot) and have a writer come up with a 1000 word article.  Im lucky/blessed because the writer that did the article from the Gulf Daily News, agreed to write this one for us for spec.  I think we’re going to work together in the future, because he’s a really good writer.  Im supposed to have my slate of 10 projects to pitch to Hollywood to my contact by next week.  He’s flying to Los Angeles to pitch them.  So please keep in prayer about that.  One of the big ones Im pushing is totally dependent on another person giving me permission to cover his life.  I can’t talk about this publicly yet, but it would be a reality show about his life.  The dude is fascinating and Im sure it would sell in a heartbeat…even to Los Angeles… It would go quite the distance to help me break down the stereotypes that America has with Arabs.  This guy has been so elusive..but he’s gotten back to me recently via facebook and text…he’s supposed to call me back next week.  Lets hope he does because this could be BIG BIG BIG.

It was our Tuesday meeting with the South Africans.  I felt compelled to take Casper…Oh yeah…Casper told me I could use his name…he felt the South African moniker was a little pretentious.  So I took Casper and his wife Mariette out to eat this time since they’ve been feeding me the last month.  I took them to Fuddrucker’s and they absolutely loved it.  These poor South Africans have never been to a Fuddruckers’.  So I corrupted them…they loved it.  They were also a little bit amazed…as was i…that then entire staff remembered me.  It was all…Good to see you again sir…and they asked me about the acting classes.  Even the cook came out to say Hello.  All you have to do is treat people with a little respect and they really respond well to you.  I guess I am enjoying just a tiny bit of celebrity…which is really really strange.  Mainly because I feel like I don’t deserve it…its all God’s favor.  I don’t think that’s false humility speaking…I really mean it.  I really have grown fond of Casper and Mariette and Im sad because it looks like they might be leaving the island.  But even though they may go…I feel like I have found friends for life.  So I have some people I can visit when I through South Africa now.  Its funny..they are always banging on the Americans….  I know God sent me into their lives for this season for the purpose of encouraging them through a difficult period.  I so love bing used of God this way.  Now…someday God will use Casper and Mariette to minister to someone else like I did to them.  It’s the gift that keeps on giving.  That is what we are called on the earth, I believe, to do. 

Lakewood Church came through again..they sent me an additional 20 DVD’s or so for our positive living group.  They are very enthusiastic of my mini-ministry out here and its great to have their support. 

I have so much to do today, this weekend…the rest of the month.  I love being crazy busy.  I got a call at 3:45 today from my parents saying their flight arrives at 6:35 on Gulf Air tomorrow.  What!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I thought they were getting here next week.  Oh well…it will be nice having family around.  I just hope in the midst of my busyness I can spend enough time with them.  I never notice how busy I am because I never feel busy and Im always on my home.  Family close will be nice.  Im pretty excited to share my life over here with them.  Let me again reiterate…this is a beautiful place if any of you would like to come visit, you can stay with me for free…eat cheap….and see an exotic country. 

You see…I told you a lot happened today.  

The Gallery has arrived

A lot of very good things happened today.  Had to get a lot of things done early for the marketing of our new Legacy, personal biography series.  This is going to be our latest product roll out and I anticipate that it is going to be big.  We were also busy getting ready for the marketing of the St. Christopher acting class material which I reviewed yesterday, I think, with all of you.  I was already feeling good about the prospects of the future when I got a call from Gallery One.  They were the gallery that was interested in buying our collection…which could be amazing cash flow opportunity.  So I have been waiting for these guys for nearly two months and finally, after I had forgotten about them…they came into town.  So I dropped everything and met the owner of the gallery (he owns 13 across the Middle East with plans of expansion into the U.S.) and the Operations manager for the galleries.  These guys were sharp.  So we had coffee together and got to know each other.  I think there was obvious respect from all parties.  I was representing Khalifa.  I used to think I was not a good negotiator…but you know what…I think Im learning how to be in this situation.  So it was pretty obvious…they wanted to buy the photos, and I wanted to sell.  So now we need to get to the details.  We had two options, one good for long term..the other for short term.  The short term option would be for us to sell the prints to them so they could reproduce them as needed.  This would provide a quick, big hit cash flow wise.  The long term option would be to enter into a royalty agreement where we would get a percentage of each picture sold and retain all copyrights.  I see the benefits on both sides.  They were headed back to Dubai and I was supposed to get a formal offer for both options by the end of the week.  Either way its good news in both the short and long term for KSDi.  I was praying all week that God would bless the company financially to get us through the recession.  This might just be the answer to that prayer.  God is amazingly faithful.  

I got back to the office…im fairly certain I was floating.  And I found a couple of DVD’s that I thought were lost.  Manu, actually had them.  So that saved me a bunch of heartache.  Then I got a call from a company wanting a big photo production in five days.  I did the bid, and I think they went for it.  They are coming into the office tomorrow to discuss the details and see some of our work.  I asked them how they found us, and he told me the yellow pages.  Do people still use that?  I have had a sales rep…besiege me with ad opportunities in the yellow pages.  Maybe I should start listening. 

Oh…we have a new student in our acting class.  She is this beautiful Lebanese pop star.  She gave me her CD when she came to class.  She is really really good.  Im not sure if she’s famous in these circles or not…but she seemed kind of popular.  Her identical twin daughters are in my kids class…so I almost have their entire family. 

Things are really starting to pick up at work.  We are getting busy.  So I think we are going to make it through this recession unscathed (God willing).  I mentioned this before, but in order for me to achieve what I think God wants me to achieve I need to be successful.  I think God is honoring the fruit of my labor. 

Other than my family (or the loss of it) I think life couldn’t get much better.  I have some more things I’ll share that happened in a bit…but Im not at liberty to say them right now.  Please continue to pray for my children.  She’s at it again….

 

The waiting is the hardest part....move over T. Petty

I had a lot of positive feedback from my acting students last night. I was very enthused. I didn’t think it was a great session, but some of my actors sure did. Here I thought I was brilliant waxing poetic about acting and psychological philosophy early in the classes. It really is quite advanced level thinking when it comes to acting as a craft. Yet they didn’t really want that. Leave theory to the university, they want practicality. So I gave them a few tools and they really liked it. So that’s what I need to do from now on. I can keep these unique philosophies to myself and just give them what they want. Well part of me feeling good is that I sent around a questionnaire. I was trying to find some marketable quotes to put in our flyer that is going to about 2000 kids at St. Christopher school. Now this St. Christopher thing is significant. What I want to do long term with the film and television is going to take by my estimation about 18-24 months to develop. In the mean time we have to survive this financial crisis. I wanted to start the acting school for a few reasons. 1. I love inspiring others to better themselves. 2. Cash flow 3. It builds up a database of talent I can use for upcoming projects. So you see there are several valid reasons for my excitement about my association with the school. One thing I also really enjoy is being a pioneer. Because this hasn’t been done on the island before…and probably not even in the Middle East, we all feel like we are a part of something very special, which we are. We are traveling in unchartered territory. My life for the last four years has been in unchartered territory as I healed from my horrific, sucky, and incredibly unwanted divorce. For those of you new to the blog that don’t know my story, and don’t have the 39 hours to track back and read all my updates. I went through what I consider to be the most hellish divorce in history. Why was it so bad?..because I loved my ex-wife more than any man could possibly love a woman I think…maybe it was too much, maybe it put too much pressure on her. Im not sure what happened…but it ended with me fighting with every ounce of my being to keep it together. Not only did I lose my wife, but I lost my children as well as they have turned against me somewhat due to the propaganda from the x-wife. Its all pretty sad really. But Im not wallowing…well maybe I wallow a little. Now I’m on this incredible adventure in this strange and exotic land called Bahrain. I tell lots of people that the life here is quite surreal. I feel as if Im on a paid vacation. Now the reality that protrudes every once in a while is my loneliness. I have lots of friends and acquaintances, but I miss the intimacy of a mate. I know that will come with time…but maybe its due to my woundedness, maybe its due to the fact that Im a Beeman (My lil sis does this too) I tend to jump into a relationship way tooo quickly…or the key thing is try to jump into a relationship. I think my problem is that Ive been wandering in the desert (a metaphorical emotional desert, not the literal desert which I do wander in presently from time to time) for so long starving of thirst, and the first oasis that comes a long I try to gulp the water (relationship) down too quickly (I move too fast) and that always freaks the other girl out. So I need to take a chill pill…like all my married friends tell me. Where to get this pill…let me know if I can get it without a prescription.

I know that God is faithful, and I know that he has the perfect one for me out there somewhere…in his perfect timing. Sometimes I feel patient, sometimes I feel anxious. God has proven faithful in everything else in my life thus far…I know this part will be covered too.

It was quiz night tonight. Guy and I are regulars at the pub. But everyone makes fun of us because we don’t drink. That’s ok…the bar bill is cheaper. We wound up winning the last round…famous faces…which we usually win, and we tied for second in the three of the other five rounds. They give away liquor coupons for the winners. We don’t drink, but the competition is still a blast.

More good press

What an eventful day for a day off…not really on the day off part. I met the South African blonde…that isn’t really interested in me…but just as a friend, for breakfast. It was a lovely chat. My daughter even asked me the other night when I spoke to her…Who’s the South African? She’s headed back to Australia…so there is nothing happening…but just a friend I met quickly.

We had an article published in the paper about us today. That was kind of exciting as it was in the main national paper. If you would like to look at it…please go to: http://www.gulf-daily-news.com/Story.asp?Article=245642&Sn=BNEW&IssueID=31359
I got a lot of positive response already from friends. It is kind of a big deal. Im not sure what the financial impact will be, but I guess we’ll find out on Sunday (our Monday). All this positive press is great for long term branding…but really need short term cash flow right now. The acting school is certainly helping with that. Speaking of which the acting class was much smoother today. I felt less apprehensive as I wasn’t concerned with who was showing up. I felt like I had a completely different group of children. They were all so much more confident than last week. It was really great to see them develop so much. We had a lot of fun, laughed, and just helped them gain more confidence. This is why I enjoy teaching so much. Its great to see kids develop positively and for me to have a role in that development. My goal…or worldview is for me to help and inspire others around the world. The acting classes are certainly tools that I can do that. Im getting into a routine with these and they are less mentally taxing. Another thing about these classes is the close relationships that develop between the students and I. I can honestly say that my past students both in Houston and CA hold a special place in my heart. I still communicate with some of them. I think the same relationships will hold true with this bunch probably even more so. There just hasn’t been anything like this on the island, so we all feel like we are a little bit of pioneers and that further brands us together.

My parents are in Israel right now. They are going to come visit next Wed. I’m excited to have them come and check out Bahrain. Remember…I have an empty furnished 3rd room that is open for anyone to come visit. I think Bahrain is a great country…and most everyone that I met that lives here loves the place. Its so small…like living in a small town…only we’re a country.

I have a big week planned this week. Lots of potential on the horizon…so Im going to cut this short. Once again I appreciate all your comments and encouragement. If you know someone that might want to read this as well…please spread the word.

Embracing Solitude Part Deux.

Its getting harder and harder to gratefully accept solitude. Sometimes I want to be alone, othertimes, I wish I had someone. No…I wish I had someone special a lot. I have soooo many acquaintances here on the island, and I have soooo many online cyber friends. But I don’t have really a best friend here yet, or a go to group that I’m always a part of. I miss that. Its hard resocializing after the divorce. Before I never had to worry about what I was doing on a weekend night, or any social activities. I was always with my family and that is the place where I always preferred to be. But the divorce changed everything. Now I have to get back in the dating scene. I enjoy going out and talking getting to know people better. But I miss the emotional intimacy. I miss holding hands and kissing. Its been awhile for that for me. When you have that for 15 years then its gone in the blink of an eye…its takes some adjusting. Oh, I know I’ll meet someone eventually…but I get tired of waiting sometimes. I just want to hurry God up every once in awhile. It’s also really hard for me to be attracted to someone as my standards are ridiculously high. Yet when I find that right combination of beauty and intelligence and spirit, I always get…”I just want to be your friend” That’s ok too, because emotionally im in God’s hands too. It just get tiresome. I know I could have a girlfriend by next week if I really wanted one…but Im not lowering my standards.

So with that in mind, I spent a great deal of my day reluctantly somewhat by myself. We had church today and I spent it with the teenagers. I enjoy teaching them as I think I have some pretty valuable life experience I can pass on to them. Since I can’t really pass it onto my kids as often as I’d like because of the distance, these kids can stand in proxy for them.

I came back and chatted online for a bit (Im completely addicted to the Internet) and took a nap. Worked out like a beast, then went to see a film. I don’t mind going to see movies by myself. In fact I prefer it…it helps me focus on the film. But I think I speak for all expats when the go see a film with other arabs. Will you please “SHUT UP!!!!” A film is not a place to take a phone call, or to carry on a conversation with your date the entire film, or place to catch up with your friend. Yet…I found myself triangulated by all of these. Im a westerner, so its not wise for me to stand up and offer my humble opinion that they should respect others and be quiet. I would often voice my opinions at theaters in the U.S. but not here. Not that I lack in courage, but rather I garner in common sense. Another annoying thing here is the editing. There is no nudity or sexual situations allowed in the country. Pornography is illegal. Now Im not saying this is a bad thing. But artistically speaking, the editing of the film is so bad, entire chunks are cut out of the film which sometimes impedes the story line. The westerners here are also worried…that there is talk of banning alcohol and pork. Now, I don’t mind the alcohol ban since I don’t drink…yet all my friends that do drink are terrified of it. But don’t take away my ham sandwiches and pork bacon…that would get me to freak out.

After the movie (I saw Gran Torino, Clint Eastwood still can bring it. What is he like 80?) I had dinner in the mall, by myself. It was filled with Saudis. Which isn’t all that bad, but I have noticed they generally don’t have much respect for lines. I think this is an asian thing. They have no issues walking right up to the front. If you courteously let them know this is not appreciated…they most of the time are very gracious and apologetic.

So tomorrow is another acting class. I’m hoping not to get super drained mentally again. I do enjoy what I do. Im pretty fortunate. Plus I get to know people on a very personal level through these classes.

Thanks for your emails and comments on the blog. They are much appreciated whenever I get them.

Times are tough all over

Im still kind of buzzing from my talk with my kids yesterday.  Max sent me a video from a magic show he performed for his class.  I was so proud of him.  He is an entertainer.  He was pretty good too.  What makes me sad about being over here is noticing how much he’s changed in just 6 months.  That is one of the downsides of being here.  I miss that daily interaction.  But it was my choice being here…so im not blaming God.  I planned my way…God directed my steps.  I still feel like Im supposed to be here 100%.  Im able to help so many people.  I was talking with Max about this yesterday.  I have friends here from over 30 different countries.  I don’t have a lot of American friends.  That is fine by me, I have plenty in the U.S.  It was interesting talking with the South African…a white guy bagging on the U.S.  It’s a weird sensation having someone the color of my skin, not hold the same patriotic allegiances.    

I feel my life is balanced.  What I don’t have though is a lot of friends my age.  Most of my pals are in their 20’s.  They all think of me as their age too.  Maybe its just the non-married people that congregate together.  And the married folks are forced to have “couple” friends.  There is nothing wrong with that.  I think its highly inappropriate for a married woman to be friends with a single man, that’s like a hornet’s nest ready to explode.  I speak from experience being on the wrong side of that one.  

The financial crisis is hitting closer to home.  We at KSDi are just trying to survive this.  I think we can.  But its difficult.  I think we have the right products to make it through but it’s a guessing game.  I haven’t been a GM before, but being a producer I have the same sort of short-term skills.  With this Im trying to build for the future. 

I didn’t have anything to do tonight.  It was really strange.  Part of being alone used to really freak me out, being a weeknight and nothing to do.  But im getting more and more comfortable with myself.  I was tempted to go see a movie, but then I thought I don’t want to see a movie.  So I went to dinner with Guy at a cheap but great Iraqi restaurant.  I had lamb chops for $8 USD.  Then I just came home…actually excited about not doing anything.  Im looking forward to a good night’s sleep.  Friday and Saturday are going to be full.  So I have to take my rest when I can get it.

Jerilyn, went back to the Philippines tonight.  She was very excited and Im happy for her.  She gets to see her husband again after two years.   Can you believe that…being away from your spouse and child for two years.  She doesn’t want to be away, but the financial situation is so dire in the Philippines, she feels like she has no choice.  There is a lot of that type of story out here.  So many people, Indians, Filipinos, Pakistanis, they are the sole breadwinners of their family, so they have to sacrifice, and send most of it home.  Its really quite amazing their work ethic and how little they make.  Comparatively speaking, if they would happen to get a minimum wage job in the U.S., it would be triple what they would be making here and probably 10 times what they would make in their home country.  So please never begrudge a immigrant labor again.  They are making extreme sacrifices for the survival of their family.  They are usually doing jobs that most Americans don’t want to do anyways.  I remember back when I first got out of grad school, I worked delivering pizzas with a guy named Ashook.  He made quite an impression, as I still remember him vividly after 18 years.  He would deliver pizzas with me in the night, then work a 10 hour shift at 7-11 in the day time.  He made little money by US standards, but a fortune by Indian standards.  Americans even in the midst of the recession…have it so good.  That’s why I feel so compelled to write these stories about how the other half of the world lives.  If we don’t understand our wealth, then we don’t appreciate our wealth and take if for granted.  Often times in prayer we ask God for what we want, and not necessarily what we need.  I have so much excess…and I always catch myself wanting more.  I am not a wealthy man, and I don’t consider myself to be poor either.  Yet compared to the rest of the people here in Bahrain, Im extremely wealthy.  I just don’t feel like it.  I have to examine myself…do I really need 50 shirts in my closet, 15 pairs of pants, 10 pairs of shoes.  Plus all the clothes and stuff I left behind in Texas and California.  How did this happen to me?  America is a fabulous country and I believe the best in the world (coming from first hand observational and comparative experience) yet our consumerism (which drives the global economy) has us missing out on some of the most important things in life.  As the market corrects itself with consumerism, its interesting to note that those most affected are not Americans.  The most affected are the factory workers in China that doesn’t have the demand for manufacturing like they did when the global economy was booming.  What im trying to say is that times are tough all over.