I am finally starting to feel better after a two week bug, or parasite, or stomach virus whatever you call it. To top that off I also had the flu. So there I was during my “honeymoon” sick as a dog. It must not have been very fun for Jennifer. But I promised her a lifetime of honeymoons. So our “honeymoon” consisted of flying to Houston to go through my old stuff to throw away, showing her around the town that I lived in. Other than my children, Houston does not hold a lot of happy memories for me. Then we were off to Dallas then a cross-country trip to Raleigh, NC. Even though I was sick, we absolutely had a great a time. She really is my best friend and we have so much fun together…she absolutely gets my sense of humor which is amazingly obscure. She is a good road trip partner to boot. I really did choose well. But that’s just reminds me of one more thing she’s better than me at…She chose even better than me ;o) Oh before we left Houston I felt somewhat compelled to meet Joel Osteen. After the service (which was perfect for Jennifer and I) every week Joel goes up to the corner to meet and greet whoever wants to meet him. Usually the line is about 200 or so people. We waited for about 30 min. to get to him. He always talks about his vision is to reach the entire world with the gospel. I told him about my small group that meets every week to watch his video. I told him about Pastor Jim Lewis’ support of me, and that I have Muslims, Hindus, Atheists and Christians all hearing his message each week in Bahrain. I also told him that his message was very well received with Muslims. I think he was genuinely glad to hear that. I hope in one small way I helped encourage him as he has encouraged me. His message of not focusing on the negative and believing in yourself really helped transform my life when I was walking through the pits of hell and despair in those horrible years of 2005-2008.
Jennifer and I got to talking, this morning. She was having a really hard time because of all the pressures she has on herself. She has to finish her dissertation, maintain a very important and challenging career, find a home for her dogs, re-roof her house, do taxes, sell/rent her house, sell/rent her car, and cope with missing me which must be a mammoth task. She said, “my life isn’t quite as simple as yours.” I don’t have any stress in my life. I understand what she was trying to say. That got me to thinking, Im probably under just as many challenges/hardships as she is, but I just choose to handle them differently. I just don’t get stressed or worked up about anything. For example. I don’t want to get into any salacious negative details but other than Jennifer there just isn’t a lot of really great things happening in my life at the moment. My life is certainly full of blessing but also full of challenges. Both personally, professionally, and emotionally, Im going through some pretty devastating experiences that I just can’t expound on right now, although you are welcome to email me if you want to know more specifics. (Usually when I throw that out there only AJB and my mother respond). Nevertheless I could dwell on the negative and get absolutely depressed and dis-spirited. Rather for me, its so much easier to focus on the absolutely amazing things that are happening in my life of which there are many. Im so blessed to have a beautiful, successful, and smart wife, (oh if you only knew the details like I know the details you’d be jealous too) to have 3 healthy, beautiful, and smart children, to have supportive parents, and exciting career, multitudes of friends, a comfortable life and the ability to see the world. When I break out the positives like that its not hard to turn a negative attitude into a positive one. Its just the power of positive thinking and once you think positive things, positive things start happening to you. It’s a natural symbiotic relationship. (the converse is also true.) So I just want to encourage you whenever you feel really down. Take out a list and write about what is right in your life. Before too long you’ll be sure perk up in your spirit. This little trick works every time.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Dating Sucks
Im sitting in the Zain Basketball Arena in a district called Um Al-Hassan watching Muharraq battle it out with Isa Town in the playoff round of Bahrain’s Professional Basketball League. Muharraq is coached by my roommate Pat. They have a 10 point lead led largely by the three point shooting skill of Big man, Lamond Murray. OK enough of the sportswriter talk. Actually at one point in my career I wanted to call professional sports or write about them as I did in college. Im so glad I didn’t go that route. Im still an avid sportsfan but it just seems like there are so many other things I can sink my teeth into. Sports are a fun diversion but I still want to change the world.
I had a phone call before the game from a dear friend. We caught up about the marriage and the trip to the U.S. and then she told me she met a boy. I was happy for her as this particular person is a beautiful inside and out and has a heart for God. She deserves to find the perfect match for her and Im sure she will. Since she knew how God talks to me, she wanted me to pray and give her a good word back. I guess that makes me a little like a priest or a fortune cookie, or even a magic 8-ball depending on your perspective. But I was honored that she trusted me enough to confide in me. God did indeed give me a very specific word for her. Im excited to share it with her.
But the whole conversation, is he the one, will he call, what if I leave/he leaves, are there other girls/guys, why hasn’t he called, what does it mean if they sit a certain way, hold a posture, open up a door/not open a door, laughs or doesn’t laugh at my jokes? I think insecurity outweighs security in the dating world 9:1. But when you find the right one it’s a bit like winning a lottery or hitting a 3 point shot at the buzzer. Think about it, I must have dated (oh I better not say how many) a lot of girls and wound up with one. So if you are a statistician you could argue that I have a 98% failure ratio. That percentage probably gets worse when you factor in my failed marriage. How many girls do you have to date before you find “The one?” It’s a bit like playing the lottery…eventually you might get it. It just got me to thinking…Dating sucks. I’ve never really liked dating. I’ve just been on too many dates where you know within the first couple of moments if its going to work or not. If it doesn’t work then you have to suffer through the next painful 90 minutes. One particularly galling date happened to me a few years ago. Actually two come to mind. It seems that once the girls knew there was no interest, they started drinking…heavily. Im not sure if it was to ease the pain of rejection or because they knew I was buying and bottoms up, its an open tab for Beeman. Either way the experiences left me not liking the dating prospects too much. That’s why I didn’t mind the quick dating process for Jennifer and I. If you know, you know and we knew. We just saved a few years of the waiting. Really since Jennifer and I have not been dating for too long there are still some aspects that we are learning about each other. Most of the time its very refreshing, like “Oh that’s just another thing I love about you.” Its not like oh…I didn’t realize that altered personality of yours had such a violent streak. That’s the potential, but not the case with us. I married Jennifer so quickly because God told me to do so. So in many ways I was just being obedient to him. Whenever you are obedient to God, you can’t lose. I say this to say that Im very fortunate. This is unlike my dear friend who still has to pray, investigate, interrogate, and hope for the best. I guess I have it easy.
The weather is starting to turn here now that it is spring. When I say turn, I mean to say it is absolutely beautiful. It was 75 degrees today with no humidity. Im so glad its spring and almost kayak season. Im planning on breaking it out this weekend. I have to wok on my belly for my new bride. Speaking of brides, my dear friend Reji is getting his at the end of the week. Reji is a co-worker and real man of God. He started this Christian chat site called ablaze.net if you want to check it out. Reji sees his family about 2-3 months a year and is working here because he can make a better living for his family. Its not like Reji is being a bad father, or irresponsible husband. In fact its quite the opposite. His children will have more opportunities because of the sacrifice he is making here. That is the norm here and I think around the world. Many families are separated because of economic hardships. So if you are a two parent family living together raising your children, please don’t take that for granted. Very few people in the world can afford that luxury. You have to think of it as a global luxury. I’ve heard it said that if you woke up in the U.S. this morning you are richer than 80% of the world. Count your blessings and never take them for granted. Also next time you see a foreign worker in a fast food restaurant or a convenience story please treat them with respect. They are most likely separated from their family and being very responsible. I remember my friend Ashok. After grad school I was delivering pizzas and parking cars. Ashok was a fellow Dominos Pizza deliver driver. He worked at 7-11 during the day and at night delivered pizzas. He must have had 5-6 hours sleep a night. He sent all the money back to his family in India. The world could always use more people that are accountable and take responsibility for their families and their actions.
I had a phone call before the game from a dear friend. We caught up about the marriage and the trip to the U.S. and then she told me she met a boy. I was happy for her as this particular person is a beautiful inside and out and has a heart for God. She deserves to find the perfect match for her and Im sure she will. Since she knew how God talks to me, she wanted me to pray and give her a good word back. I guess that makes me a little like a priest or a fortune cookie, or even a magic 8-ball depending on your perspective. But I was honored that she trusted me enough to confide in me. God did indeed give me a very specific word for her. Im excited to share it with her.
But the whole conversation, is he the one, will he call, what if I leave/he leaves, are there other girls/guys, why hasn’t he called, what does it mean if they sit a certain way, hold a posture, open up a door/not open a door, laughs or doesn’t laugh at my jokes? I think insecurity outweighs security in the dating world 9:1. But when you find the right one it’s a bit like winning a lottery or hitting a 3 point shot at the buzzer. Think about it, I must have dated (oh I better not say how many) a lot of girls and wound up with one. So if you are a statistician you could argue that I have a 98% failure ratio. That percentage probably gets worse when you factor in my failed marriage. How many girls do you have to date before you find “The one?” It’s a bit like playing the lottery…eventually you might get it. It just got me to thinking…Dating sucks. I’ve never really liked dating. I’ve just been on too many dates where you know within the first couple of moments if its going to work or not. If it doesn’t work then you have to suffer through the next painful 90 minutes. One particularly galling date happened to me a few years ago. Actually two come to mind. It seems that once the girls knew there was no interest, they started drinking…heavily. Im not sure if it was to ease the pain of rejection or because they knew I was buying and bottoms up, its an open tab for Beeman. Either way the experiences left me not liking the dating prospects too much. That’s why I didn’t mind the quick dating process for Jennifer and I. If you know, you know and we knew. We just saved a few years of the waiting. Really since Jennifer and I have not been dating for too long there are still some aspects that we are learning about each other. Most of the time its very refreshing, like “Oh that’s just another thing I love about you.” Its not like oh…I didn’t realize that altered personality of yours had such a violent streak. That’s the potential, but not the case with us. I married Jennifer so quickly because God told me to do so. So in many ways I was just being obedient to him. Whenever you are obedient to God, you can’t lose. I say this to say that Im very fortunate. This is unlike my dear friend who still has to pray, investigate, interrogate, and hope for the best. I guess I have it easy.
The weather is starting to turn here now that it is spring. When I say turn, I mean to say it is absolutely beautiful. It was 75 degrees today with no humidity. Im so glad its spring and almost kayak season. Im planning on breaking it out this weekend. I have to wok on my belly for my new bride. Speaking of brides, my dear friend Reji is getting his at the end of the week. Reji is a co-worker and real man of God. He started this Christian chat site called ablaze.net if you want to check it out. Reji sees his family about 2-3 months a year and is working here because he can make a better living for his family. Its not like Reji is being a bad father, or irresponsible husband. In fact its quite the opposite. His children will have more opportunities because of the sacrifice he is making here. That is the norm here and I think around the world. Many families are separated because of economic hardships. So if you are a two parent family living together raising your children, please don’t take that for granted. Very few people in the world can afford that luxury. You have to think of it as a global luxury. I’ve heard it said that if you woke up in the U.S. this morning you are richer than 80% of the world. Count your blessings and never take them for granted. Also next time you see a foreign worker in a fast food restaurant or a convenience story please treat them with respect. They are most likely separated from their family and being very responsible. I remember my friend Ashok. After grad school I was delivering pizzas and parking cars. Ashok was a fellow Dominos Pizza deliver driver. He worked at 7-11 during the day and at night delivered pizzas. He must have had 5-6 hours sleep a night. He sent all the money back to his family in India. The world could always use more people that are accountable and take responsibility for their families and their actions.
Monday, March 29, 2010
First Day Back in the Middle East as a Married Man
I got to JFK last night. A hard night turned out to be a little easier when they upgraded my flight to Business Class. It was only a 12 hour flight, compared to the normal 17 hour but still it was a great perk. Im getting spoiled in Business class. I tried to sleep a little bit, but I kept awakening at my own snoring. Im a little congested. Even though it was a great two weeks with Jennifer, I was sick the last week of it. But, now that I have health insurance I was able to see a doctor and come back with loads of medicine. I even have around a year’s worth of insulin. I would have had to buy everything full price here.
I got to the Dubai airport and then it hit me. I was alone. I had been in the Dubai Airport before with 6-8 hour layovers and I was alone and in no relationship then. But this time, I was alone but lonely. But it was a good kind of lonely. Now that I’ve tasted what it felt like to be loved again, it just made me crave it all the more. I had adjusted to life as a Bachelor again, but now that I’ve had the married life, it makes me want it full-time. It’s a hopeful loneliness knowing that its all so temporary. It could be 2 months or 6. Im obviously hoping for 2, but we are living this life according to God’s plan. Im sure he has a purpose in this. So should we have waited to get married til we could live together? I don’t think so. It feels a whole lot safer (emotionally) and more secure knowing I have a wife waiting for me rather than a fiancé or girlfriend. As much as I trust God, the divorce really scarred me, as I’ve noted time and time again. But what I haven’t told you is that I had developed an incredible and mostly irrational fear of rejection. Even with my strong faith, the Enemy knew that this was my Achilles heal at the moment and that is where the attacks came from. You see the enemy will attack you wherever you are most vulnerable. Like he attacked me with the pornography issue in years past. But now that Im over that issue his attacks don’t work anymore so He’ll try something else. Now that Im married and the fear of rejection is gone, Im sure he’ll keep looking til he finds a weak spot. When he touches that nerve and you react…you better believe he’ll go for the jugular. Its like a shark smelling blood. For the past four years I went out on a lot of dates. But I was petrified of giving my heart to someone and then having them reject me for some reason. I told Jennifer this early on and she has been wonderful about caring and meeting my needs. She told me her emotional/psychological needs too (we all have them). So im making sure I can make her feel as safe as she makes me feel. All in all it’s a pretty incredible relationship. She’s pretty, brilliant, confident, funny, articulate, spiritual, faithful, passionate, and she instantly became my best friend. Its nice when your life partner is your best friend. So with all that, there really was no reason to wait. Im a now, now, now person anyway. If we were going to be married in a year why not just do it now? We already had the “storybook” wedding the first go around…didn’t really need it for this time.
When I got to Dubai, not only was I feeling lonely, but also greasy and sweaty. The showers weren’t working in the Business Class lounge. So I complained and they let me take the shower in the First Class Lounge. I guess I forgot to make it back to Business class lounge after my shower ;o) I hung out in the first class lounge the rest of the way. There really wasn’t much of difference other than the food being out of this world good. There were certainly less people and it was very quiet. The chef’s made everything to order and the service was first class. Even though my heart was missing Jennifer…this helped a lot.
I got back to Bahrain at 3 and finally unpacked and in bed by 4:30 am. I got up a few hours later and made it into the office. My co-workers really like me. They all got so excited about my marriage. The sudden nature didn’t surprise them, because they a. know me and b. Indians get married suddenly like this all the time. I brought them all back Chocolate Easter Bunnies. Now this might not seem like a big deal in the U.S. but these gifts were a big deal here. Think about it, this is a Muslim country Chocolate Easter Bunnies here is like America without any reality TV shows. Its possible…just not very likely.
I was a zombie at work today. It was hard to concentrate as the jet lag was getting to me. Hopefully I’ll go to bed in a bit and sleep through the night. The first night to getting over jetlag is key. I’ll try to be more faithful writing in the blog now that I’m alone with more time on my hands. Thanks for sticking with me.
I got to the Dubai airport and then it hit me. I was alone. I had been in the Dubai Airport before with 6-8 hour layovers and I was alone and in no relationship then. But this time, I was alone but lonely. But it was a good kind of lonely. Now that I’ve tasted what it felt like to be loved again, it just made me crave it all the more. I had adjusted to life as a Bachelor again, but now that I’ve had the married life, it makes me want it full-time. It’s a hopeful loneliness knowing that its all so temporary. It could be 2 months or 6. Im obviously hoping for 2, but we are living this life according to God’s plan. Im sure he has a purpose in this. So should we have waited to get married til we could live together? I don’t think so. It feels a whole lot safer (emotionally) and more secure knowing I have a wife waiting for me rather than a fiancé or girlfriend. As much as I trust God, the divorce really scarred me, as I’ve noted time and time again. But what I haven’t told you is that I had developed an incredible and mostly irrational fear of rejection. Even with my strong faith, the Enemy knew that this was my Achilles heal at the moment and that is where the attacks came from. You see the enemy will attack you wherever you are most vulnerable. Like he attacked me with the pornography issue in years past. But now that Im over that issue his attacks don’t work anymore so He’ll try something else. Now that Im married and the fear of rejection is gone, Im sure he’ll keep looking til he finds a weak spot. When he touches that nerve and you react…you better believe he’ll go for the jugular. Its like a shark smelling blood. For the past four years I went out on a lot of dates. But I was petrified of giving my heart to someone and then having them reject me for some reason. I told Jennifer this early on and she has been wonderful about caring and meeting my needs. She told me her emotional/psychological needs too (we all have them). So im making sure I can make her feel as safe as she makes me feel. All in all it’s a pretty incredible relationship. She’s pretty, brilliant, confident, funny, articulate, spiritual, faithful, passionate, and she instantly became my best friend. Its nice when your life partner is your best friend. So with all that, there really was no reason to wait. Im a now, now, now person anyway. If we were going to be married in a year why not just do it now? We already had the “storybook” wedding the first go around…didn’t really need it for this time.
When I got to Dubai, not only was I feeling lonely, but also greasy and sweaty. The showers weren’t working in the Business Class lounge. So I complained and they let me take the shower in the First Class Lounge. I guess I forgot to make it back to Business class lounge after my shower ;o) I hung out in the first class lounge the rest of the way. There really wasn’t much of difference other than the food being out of this world good. There were certainly less people and it was very quiet. The chef’s made everything to order and the service was first class. Even though my heart was missing Jennifer…this helped a lot.
I got back to Bahrain at 3 and finally unpacked and in bed by 4:30 am. I got up a few hours later and made it into the office. My co-workers really like me. They all got so excited about my marriage. The sudden nature didn’t surprise them, because they a. know me and b. Indians get married suddenly like this all the time. I brought them all back Chocolate Easter Bunnies. Now this might not seem like a big deal in the U.S. but these gifts were a big deal here. Think about it, this is a Muslim country Chocolate Easter Bunnies here is like America without any reality TV shows. Its possible…just not very likely.
I was a zombie at work today. It was hard to concentrate as the jet lag was getting to me. Hopefully I’ll go to bed in a bit and sleep through the night. The first night to getting over jetlag is key. I’ll try to be more faithful writing in the blog now that I’m alone with more time on my hands. Thanks for sticking with me.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Leaving North Carolina
Im flying over Raleigh North Carolina at the moment, somewhere over my beloved new bride’s Jennifer’s house. It’s a weird feeling leaving your wife not knowing when we’ll be able to be together again. We both love each other dearly and our few weeks together has done nothing but confirm that. What Jennifer and I have decided to do is quite unconventional by the world’s standards or at least by the U.S. standards. Most would consider it prudent to wait a few years so you know…well both Jennifer and I did that the first time around and that didn’t work. Really the sudden courtship and marriage really wasn’t a difficult decision at all. In fact it was one of the easiest ones I had ever made. I’ve found the closer you get to God the easier difficult decisions become. It just becomes crystal clear, a very natural choice. I had more of an issue of deciding where to eat dinner last night than whether or not to marry Jennifer. Not because I didn’t seek God, but rather He was so clear with me. He already foretold me that I’d be married within a year last July 09. So my heart was ready, then as soon as I met her, God spoke to me and told me “she’s the one.” Everything has been confirmation after that. I remember talking to my parents after Jennifer and my second conversation. I told them, I met the one Im going to marry (cyber met). They weren’t shocked and my mother said “How can I be disappointed since that has been what I’ve been praying for.”
But still even before I asked Jennifer to marry me, I did my spiritual due diligence. Each time I asked God if Jennifer was the one, it wasn’t just a yes, it was an emphatic yes. There really has never been any doubt in my mind. In fact it started getting to the point that God would answer the question before I even got the question out. It was like: “God should I marry….YES.” or “God should….YES.” That type of confidence in God is incredibly reassuring. How can I be so sure that I was hearing God’s voice correctly? I’ve been listening to that voice my entire life, but quite intimately the last four years. Each time I’ve listened, going to Saudi, to Bahrain, buying cars, houses, apartments, jobs etc… God has not steered me wrong yet. I think that is where the peace that passes all understanding comes from. Plus I know that whatever path that God has me on will be a path of blessing. So I really don’t get stressed or bothered about anything. Things aren’t perfect in my personal nor professional life right now, am I bothered?…No. I know that Im in the midst of a process…God’s perfect plan. He promised to give me plans with a future and a hope. Im just living life out loud right now through this blog and hopefully it is encouraging you to trust God because of all the wonderful things that He has done and will do in my life. Im extremely blessed right now.
Now back to logistics. When will Jennifer and I be together again? We don’t really know. She talked about flying out in May and maybe I’ll get back in July. So one might ask why didn’t we wait to get married til we are able to live together. Like my Pastor Graeme said, long engagements are like torture. Since we know, what’s the point in waiting? It seems like you would only wait to make absolutely sure. That isn’t the issue with either of us. On the practical side, being married gives me a sense of comfort and stability. Something permanent to look forward to. It also helps that I got put on Jennifer’s health insurance plan. That’s certainly a perk. Its amazing that as a diabetic, I’ve been able to go five years without health insurance. That is another testimony of God. I was able to stock up on insulin, get my eyes checked, teeth checked, get poked and prodded and come out the better for it. Plus I don’t believe in Sex outside of marriage, so there was ample incentive to get married in that respect too. I wanted God to completely honor my relationship with Jennifer and I wanted to honor Jennifer as well. I’ve been living in a desert for an awfully long time. Even the camels were starting to look good. So Im glad I didn’t have to wait that long. It sucks going from married sex to abstinence. At least when I was a virgin, I didn’t know what I was missing.
Most people notice about me that Im usually smiling. That can be quite annoying to grumpy people. But now, im not only smiling, Im walking on air. With my story of happiness to despair to brokenness to redemption and elation, I just can’t imagine NOT being a Christian. Hopefully I’ve made a compelling argument for Christ with all of your readers as well. Im not perfect, just blessed. Life is just pretty darn good again.
But still even before I asked Jennifer to marry me, I did my spiritual due diligence. Each time I asked God if Jennifer was the one, it wasn’t just a yes, it was an emphatic yes. There really has never been any doubt in my mind. In fact it started getting to the point that God would answer the question before I even got the question out. It was like: “God should I marry….YES.” or “God should….YES.” That type of confidence in God is incredibly reassuring. How can I be so sure that I was hearing God’s voice correctly? I’ve been listening to that voice my entire life, but quite intimately the last four years. Each time I’ve listened, going to Saudi, to Bahrain, buying cars, houses, apartments, jobs etc… God has not steered me wrong yet. I think that is where the peace that passes all understanding comes from. Plus I know that whatever path that God has me on will be a path of blessing. So I really don’t get stressed or bothered about anything. Things aren’t perfect in my personal nor professional life right now, am I bothered?…No. I know that Im in the midst of a process…God’s perfect plan. He promised to give me plans with a future and a hope. Im just living life out loud right now through this blog and hopefully it is encouraging you to trust God because of all the wonderful things that He has done and will do in my life. Im extremely blessed right now.
Now back to logistics. When will Jennifer and I be together again? We don’t really know. She talked about flying out in May and maybe I’ll get back in July. So one might ask why didn’t we wait to get married til we are able to live together. Like my Pastor Graeme said, long engagements are like torture. Since we know, what’s the point in waiting? It seems like you would only wait to make absolutely sure. That isn’t the issue with either of us. On the practical side, being married gives me a sense of comfort and stability. Something permanent to look forward to. It also helps that I got put on Jennifer’s health insurance plan. That’s certainly a perk. Its amazing that as a diabetic, I’ve been able to go five years without health insurance. That is another testimony of God. I was able to stock up on insulin, get my eyes checked, teeth checked, get poked and prodded and come out the better for it. Plus I don’t believe in Sex outside of marriage, so there was ample incentive to get married in that respect too. I wanted God to completely honor my relationship with Jennifer and I wanted to honor Jennifer as well. I’ve been living in a desert for an awfully long time. Even the camels were starting to look good. So Im glad I didn’t have to wait that long. It sucks going from married sex to abstinence. At least when I was a virgin, I didn’t know what I was missing.
Most people notice about me that Im usually smiling. That can be quite annoying to grumpy people. But now, im not only smiling, Im walking on air. With my story of happiness to despair to brokenness to redemption and elation, I just can’t imagine NOT being a Christian. Hopefully I’ve made a compelling argument for Christ with all of your readers as well. Im not perfect, just blessed. Life is just pretty darn good again.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Jennifer's perspective
So here we are, at my parents house. Finally in my bed. Well, sort of. I get this bed "my bed" as long as my sister and her husband are not here. Usually when i am here, they are too. I wonder how things will work out now that I am married again. I guess I will find out at Christmas this year, if I am even around.
The more time Rick and i spend together, the better we get along. We are learning more and more about each other and it is only bringing us closer together. We both have the same favorite Classical Musician. That is pretty cool. I still have no idea the names of the bands he lists, but i seem to know all the words to most of the songs. Some how. We are very good road trip partners. We made it from Dallas to Birmingham on Monday, and then Tuesday we made it to my parents house, which is only three hours from my own home. We could have made it all the way home, but I really wanted to see my parents and stay here, and rick was ok with that. We had dinner, hung out, shared some fun stories and then they went to bed and so did we, except i'm still awake. That's ok. Rick is sound asleep next to me. Snoring his tired little head off. I dont' mind though. Its actually soothing in a way. My parents seem to really like him and I think the more they know about him the more they will like him. Mom pointed out that the two of us could lose a little weight. Thanks Mom. I guess i've been on vacation since february, and really since Christmas, so play time is over. Back to the gym for me. It won't be hard to lose. Never is. Lets hope this time isn't any different. I am going to make a wager with Rick on losing weight. I have to think of a good reward for the winner. Maybe the winner gets to stay in their country and the loser has to move to where they are... wait. Do i want to win that race? hmmm. Maybe?
i'd upload some wedding pics but my brother is apparently using up a lot of bandwidth and i can't get much of a chance using this connection. Speaking of my brother.... Nah. Id rather not say too much. For someone who has no interest in talking to me EVER or about my life in general, he sure seems to have an opinion of rick and myself. I don't get it. I am happier now than i have ever been. I don't know why someone thinks i'm being deceived. I know everything about rick even down to his Credit Report, social security number, blood pressure, weight, bank account information etc etc... You can't really lie about those things when you show the tangible evidence. You really just can't. And as far as us getting along and making it work, the thing is, we have no addictions or major hangups that are going to drive a wedge between us. We really don't. We are just two extraordinary people with great goals and dreams, seeing those dreams materialized. We both have pretty fantastic lives, and together, our life is one big adventure. I make him laugh so much and he makes me laugh so much and having fun... that's what it is about. And we are totally able to get serious when we need to. WE communicate everything. Our needs, our fears, our hopes, dreams, expectations, and we are both doing a great job at making it work. The more time we spend together, the better we fit. We are quickly molding ourselves together, effortlessly. It isn't work at all. It is in fact, a great joy. I love him. More now than yesterday, and undoubtedly, more tomorrow than today. He is part of Gods perfect plan for my life. God has great PLANS for us. Not just one plan. Many plans. All we have to do is stay inside his will. Its that easy.
The more time Rick and i spend together, the better we get along. We are learning more and more about each other and it is only bringing us closer together. We both have the same favorite Classical Musician. That is pretty cool. I still have no idea the names of the bands he lists, but i seem to know all the words to most of the songs. Some how. We are very good road trip partners. We made it from Dallas to Birmingham on Monday, and then Tuesday we made it to my parents house, which is only three hours from my own home. We could have made it all the way home, but I really wanted to see my parents and stay here, and rick was ok with that. We had dinner, hung out, shared some fun stories and then they went to bed and so did we, except i'm still awake. That's ok. Rick is sound asleep next to me. Snoring his tired little head off. I dont' mind though. Its actually soothing in a way. My parents seem to really like him and I think the more they know about him the more they will like him. Mom pointed out that the two of us could lose a little weight. Thanks Mom. I guess i've been on vacation since february, and really since Christmas, so play time is over. Back to the gym for me. It won't be hard to lose. Never is. Lets hope this time isn't any different. I am going to make a wager with Rick on losing weight. I have to think of a good reward for the winner. Maybe the winner gets to stay in their country and the loser has to move to where they are... wait. Do i want to win that race? hmmm. Maybe?
i'd upload some wedding pics but my brother is apparently using up a lot of bandwidth and i can't get much of a chance using this connection. Speaking of my brother.... Nah. Id rather not say too much. For someone who has no interest in talking to me EVER or about my life in general, he sure seems to have an opinion of rick and myself. I don't get it. I am happier now than i have ever been. I don't know why someone thinks i'm being deceived. I know everything about rick even down to his Credit Report, social security number, blood pressure, weight, bank account information etc etc... You can't really lie about those things when you show the tangible evidence. You really just can't. And as far as us getting along and making it work, the thing is, we have no addictions or major hangups that are going to drive a wedge between us. We really don't. We are just two extraordinary people with great goals and dreams, seeing those dreams materialized. We both have pretty fantastic lives, and together, our life is one big adventure. I make him laugh so much and he makes me laugh so much and having fun... that's what it is about. And we are totally able to get serious when we need to. WE communicate everything. Our needs, our fears, our hopes, dreams, expectations, and we are both doing a great job at making it work. The more time we spend together, the better we fit. We are quickly molding ourselves together, effortlessly. It isn't work at all. It is in fact, a great joy. I love him. More now than yesterday, and undoubtedly, more tomorrow than today. He is part of Gods perfect plan for my life. God has great PLANS for us. Not just one plan. Many plans. All we have to do is stay inside his will. Its that easy.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Marriage
I apologize for the delay in writing the blog. Thanks to all the readers that have encouraged me to keep going with this. I’ll probably be more faithful writing when I return to the Middle East. Right now, Im just spending all of my time with Jennifer and having a wonderful time. Even as I write this, I don’t feel like Im sacrificing anytime with her as she is busy writing her blog.
So here is the big news…Yesterday Jennifer and I officially…and legally got married. At first Jennifer wanted a small ceremony but when she thought about the logistics of planning in the midst of her full career and trying to finish her dissertation it just seemed quite overwhelming to her. I could go either way, but I preferred a small affair. It is the second wedding for both of us. It seems like second weddings should be small. It’s like we would be saying “Hey never mind about this first one, this is a do-over…we’re really serious now.” Plus another thing…I hate..is when people say they found their soulmate. How many people do you know say they found their soulmate the first time around with their original spouse? It seems like the word “soulmate” many people use to justify the failure of a previous marriage so they can go into another one. Like it legitimizes the divorce or something. Does this mean Jenni is not my soulmate? Im not saying that at all. Jenni and I approached this relationship different than most couples I think. We are two very passionate, impulsive, wild, spirit-filled people. When we are together sparks fly. We just feel so natural together. We were walking to an appointment a few days ago and I told her I already feel like an old married couple. Meaning, I haven’t felt this comfortable before with anyone in my life. Even though we have only known each other for a few months she knows ALL of my deepest darkest secrets and fears and I know hers. Some couples never reach that type of openness and intimacy with each other and here we found it after just a few months. We took a pre-marital survey course with Graeme my pastor in Bahrain and in the spiritual aptitude portion we were an absolute perfect match..that of course is the most important key to any relationship, commonality with faith. Everything else are just details. Jennifer and I are both determined that this will work. We just have to look at our Indian friends. They have a 1% divorce rate in India. Why? Because divorce isn’t an option. So Jenni and I decided early on…our first week…that we knew that we’d spend the rest of our lives together. We also decided that divorce would never be an option. We’ll kill each other before we get divorced. (That might not be so far-fetched…☺ ) As long as two people have that mindset…not about the killing…but about the perseverance…any relationship can be successful. Love or better yet…emotions fade and grow over time, like the tide constantly rolling in and out. We are going to be with each other during low tide and high tide. I’ve used a lot of metaphors for Jennifer and I’ve come up with yet another one. She’s like a bucking bronco, I just have to hold on. Im not sure she’ll ever be tamed, nor am I certain if I want her to be tamed. Instead Im just in for a wild ride, so far it has been pretty spectacular.
As for the details of the actual day yesterday. I met Jenni’s parents at her house in the morning. They are a young couple (for parents)…only about 18 years older than me (Jennifer is young…29…SCORE for rick!). They seemed like a lovely couple that had been married for 38 years (mine have been married for 48 years). So that’s some good spiritual lineage. They both have thick Carolina accents, especially her dad. Her mom seemed as sweet as she can be. So my parents arrived shortly thereafter and we all headed to the downtown courthouse in Raleigh. Jennifer and I registered and received our marriage license the day before. So we get to the courthouse room 921 which was holding civil ceremonies from 10:00-11:15, in between were worthless checks hearings. So we waited and paid the judge $20. He had done this hundreds if not thousands of times before yet going through the verbiage it felt like the very first time for Jennifer and I. Our gaze was locked into each other’s eyes and the rest of the world just faded away. I remember saying…”I will” and she said “I will” then the Judge said…”by the powers vested in me by the state of North Carolina, I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.” So we kissed, softly (no tongue) and Jenni said…”Is that the best you got?” Then something happened that I think was the most special moment of the day. My father and Jenni’s father, David, both signed the certificate as witnesses. I was so proud to have them both their doing it. Her father joked, “Im putting my name on the line here so you have to make this work.” I was pretty thrilled to have my parents there. They were so proud and so happy to see me happy. They really love Jennifer. They had been with me step by step over the last few years and to see me happy and in love again just warmed their hearts. I do love my parents dearly. This has brought us all closer together as a family and the celebration with my new family was made all the more appropriate.
Jennifer and I flew out to spend our honeymoon in Houston, Dallas, and then a road trip back to the Carolinas. I know not the most ideal place to spend the honeymoon, but its my home in the U.S. nonetheless. My father got up at 4:30 am to take us to the airport and didn’t complain at all. He really is a great great man. I love him a ton. He is a great example of what a husband and father should be. I hope I can emulate his role.
For now Im embarking on a fabulous life with Jennifer. Its not going to be just a good life…but for the last year my life has been spectacular. The exciting thing is, the best is yet to come.
So here is the big news…Yesterday Jennifer and I officially…and legally got married. At first Jennifer wanted a small ceremony but when she thought about the logistics of planning in the midst of her full career and trying to finish her dissertation it just seemed quite overwhelming to her. I could go either way, but I preferred a small affair. It is the second wedding for both of us. It seems like second weddings should be small. It’s like we would be saying “Hey never mind about this first one, this is a do-over…we’re really serious now.” Plus another thing…I hate..is when people say they found their soulmate. How many people do you know say they found their soulmate the first time around with their original spouse? It seems like the word “soulmate” many people use to justify the failure of a previous marriage so they can go into another one. Like it legitimizes the divorce or something. Does this mean Jenni is not my soulmate? Im not saying that at all. Jenni and I approached this relationship different than most couples I think. We are two very passionate, impulsive, wild, spirit-filled people. When we are together sparks fly. We just feel so natural together. We were walking to an appointment a few days ago and I told her I already feel like an old married couple. Meaning, I haven’t felt this comfortable before with anyone in my life. Even though we have only known each other for a few months she knows ALL of my deepest darkest secrets and fears and I know hers. Some couples never reach that type of openness and intimacy with each other and here we found it after just a few months. We took a pre-marital survey course with Graeme my pastor in Bahrain and in the spiritual aptitude portion we were an absolute perfect match..that of course is the most important key to any relationship, commonality with faith. Everything else are just details. Jennifer and I are both determined that this will work. We just have to look at our Indian friends. They have a 1% divorce rate in India. Why? Because divorce isn’t an option. So Jenni and I decided early on…our first week…that we knew that we’d spend the rest of our lives together. We also decided that divorce would never be an option. We’ll kill each other before we get divorced. (That might not be so far-fetched…☺ ) As long as two people have that mindset…not about the killing…but about the perseverance…any relationship can be successful. Love or better yet…emotions fade and grow over time, like the tide constantly rolling in and out. We are going to be with each other during low tide and high tide. I’ve used a lot of metaphors for Jennifer and I’ve come up with yet another one. She’s like a bucking bronco, I just have to hold on. Im not sure she’ll ever be tamed, nor am I certain if I want her to be tamed. Instead Im just in for a wild ride, so far it has been pretty spectacular.
As for the details of the actual day yesterday. I met Jenni’s parents at her house in the morning. They are a young couple (for parents)…only about 18 years older than me (Jennifer is young…29…SCORE for rick!). They seemed like a lovely couple that had been married for 38 years (mine have been married for 48 years). So that’s some good spiritual lineage. They both have thick Carolina accents, especially her dad. Her mom seemed as sweet as she can be. So my parents arrived shortly thereafter and we all headed to the downtown courthouse in Raleigh. Jennifer and I registered and received our marriage license the day before. So we get to the courthouse room 921 which was holding civil ceremonies from 10:00-11:15, in between were worthless checks hearings. So we waited and paid the judge $20. He had done this hundreds if not thousands of times before yet going through the verbiage it felt like the very first time for Jennifer and I. Our gaze was locked into each other’s eyes and the rest of the world just faded away. I remember saying…”I will” and she said “I will” then the Judge said…”by the powers vested in me by the state of North Carolina, I pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride.” So we kissed, softly (no tongue) and Jenni said…”Is that the best you got?” Then something happened that I think was the most special moment of the day. My father and Jenni’s father, David, both signed the certificate as witnesses. I was so proud to have them both their doing it. Her father joked, “Im putting my name on the line here so you have to make this work.” I was pretty thrilled to have my parents there. They were so proud and so happy to see me happy. They really love Jennifer. They had been with me step by step over the last few years and to see me happy and in love again just warmed their hearts. I do love my parents dearly. This has brought us all closer together as a family and the celebration with my new family was made all the more appropriate.
Jennifer and I flew out to spend our honeymoon in Houston, Dallas, and then a road trip back to the Carolinas. I know not the most ideal place to spend the honeymoon, but its my home in the U.S. nonetheless. My father got up at 4:30 am to take us to the airport and didn’t complain at all. He really is a great great man. I love him a ton. He is a great example of what a husband and father should be. I hope I can emulate his role.
For now Im embarking on a fabulous life with Jennifer. Its not going to be just a good life…but for the last year my life has been spectacular. The exciting thing is, the best is yet to come.
Monday, March 15, 2010
personal update
I want to apologize to the faithful readers that I have. I’ve been MIA for about a week. I should have forewarned you a little better. Im in Raleigh, NC now and have been here all weekend staying with Jennifer. Life is pretty darn wonderful for me right now. Everyday I spend with her, Im more convinced that she is indeed the one that God has for me. She has such a fiery personality and that is one of the many things that I love about her. What also excites me is that I have the temperament to handle this strong personality. We were talking to a counselor a few weeks back, and he said Women get into relationships hoping to change the men, while men get into relationship hoping the women won’t change. I think that is case with us as well.
Im really having a great time here. Jennifer has a beautiful home in a very wooded area in North Carolina. Her two dogs (children) also are a lot of fun. Ellie, likes to go to the park to play soccer. You kick the ball to her and she dribbles it back with her nose and paws. Its pretty funny to watch. It’s “those amazing animals” type of video. My parents are arriving tonight. They really want to meet Jennifer. So it will be nice the next week hanging out with my dad while Jenni works during the day. They are so excited about my marriage to her. I think they saw the depths of my despair and pain with my divorce and for me to be happy again really brings them a lot of peace and closure. Really my mother never got over the divorce. So I think she is looking at this marriage as a second chance for me as well as her. My sister will be driving down tomorrow as well with two of my nieces. I think her main priority is shopping but if she can throw in a dinner with me, that can’t hurt.
You know I was thinking about this blog and when to wrap it up. Its not like I really wanted to start writing the blog nor become obsessed with it. God told me to write my book in Bahrain and the book has been in the form of this blog. Not sure if I’ll get it published, not sure if anyone would want to read it. But I’ll leave those types of details to God. I had to continue to write in the blog until I had an ending. Well..now that Im marrying Jenni, I have that ending. I really believe its going to be a “Happily Ever After” ending. So I don’t want to just continue to write to say…”Look how happy I am.” Nor do I want to write about the marital struggles that Jenni and I surely will face. Those of course should be kept private. Jennifer and I are aware that struggles will occur but we have already formed a game plan to combat that. That is complete 100% honesty. Nipping problems in the bud with communication before the argument mushrooms out of control. Jennifer and I have a saying…whenever eruptions of conflict occur, “Its never about the drapes.” Meaning unresolved tension builds then eventually finds an outlet like leaving the cap off the toothpaste, not picking up clothes, leaving the toilet seat up, then an eruption occurs of a minor circumstance. Venting turns mountains out of molehills. So we have a plan in place and its working. We’ve already had some potentially big disagreements that were quelled with reason and communication.
So where does that leave the blog? Im not really sure at this point. I do want to continue to write about God’s faithfulness in my life. I still want to write about my amazing adventures in the Middle East, my career, and life. So we’ll just have to wait and see. I haven’t been writing this past week…because all of my energy has been put into Jennifer and savoring each moment we have together. Im only here for two weeks then we’ll be separated again for an undetermined amount of time. Im not sure when we’ll be able to live together as regular man and wife. She has so much to resolve here and my career is in a state of transition. But we both know we will be there for each other. Its just very nice having someone to care about no matter where there present locale is.
Im really having a great time here. Jennifer has a beautiful home in a very wooded area in North Carolina. Her two dogs (children) also are a lot of fun. Ellie, likes to go to the park to play soccer. You kick the ball to her and she dribbles it back with her nose and paws. Its pretty funny to watch. It’s “those amazing animals” type of video. My parents are arriving tonight. They really want to meet Jennifer. So it will be nice the next week hanging out with my dad while Jenni works during the day. They are so excited about my marriage to her. I think they saw the depths of my despair and pain with my divorce and for me to be happy again really brings them a lot of peace and closure. Really my mother never got over the divorce. So I think she is looking at this marriage as a second chance for me as well as her. My sister will be driving down tomorrow as well with two of my nieces. I think her main priority is shopping but if she can throw in a dinner with me, that can’t hurt.
You know I was thinking about this blog and when to wrap it up. Its not like I really wanted to start writing the blog nor become obsessed with it. God told me to write my book in Bahrain and the book has been in the form of this blog. Not sure if I’ll get it published, not sure if anyone would want to read it. But I’ll leave those types of details to God. I had to continue to write in the blog until I had an ending. Well..now that Im marrying Jenni, I have that ending. I really believe its going to be a “Happily Ever After” ending. So I don’t want to just continue to write to say…”Look how happy I am.” Nor do I want to write about the marital struggles that Jenni and I surely will face. Those of course should be kept private. Jennifer and I are aware that struggles will occur but we have already formed a game plan to combat that. That is complete 100% honesty. Nipping problems in the bud with communication before the argument mushrooms out of control. Jennifer and I have a saying…whenever eruptions of conflict occur, “Its never about the drapes.” Meaning unresolved tension builds then eventually finds an outlet like leaving the cap off the toothpaste, not picking up clothes, leaving the toilet seat up, then an eruption occurs of a minor circumstance. Venting turns mountains out of molehills. So we have a plan in place and its working. We’ve already had some potentially big disagreements that were quelled with reason and communication.
So where does that leave the blog? Im not really sure at this point. I do want to continue to write about God’s faithfulness in my life. I still want to write about my amazing adventures in the Middle East, my career, and life. So we’ll just have to wait and see. I haven’t been writing this past week…because all of my energy has been put into Jennifer and savoring each moment we have together. Im only here for two weeks then we’ll be separated again for an undetermined amount of time. Im not sure when we’ll be able to live together as regular man and wife. She has so much to resolve here and my career is in a state of transition. But we both know we will be there for each other. Its just very nice having someone to care about no matter where there present locale is.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
When to speak out
Its getting harder and harder to write in this blog. I have a lot of information that Im not really privy to share. That doesn’t mean there is nothing going on. Actually it is quite the contrary. I still feel like Im in the absolute middle of God’s will. I’ve never experienced this much peace and confidence in my life. It just doesn’t make any sense, the bigger the storm, the more peace I have. I keep referring to how I relate to Joseph, how a lot of unfair things happened to him, but he still kept the faith. One aspect of the Joseph story that isn’t really taught is the beauty of silence. Sure God spoke to Joseph, but that didn’t give him license to sprout it out so soon to his brothers. Of course they took action. Because of Joseph’s impulsiveness he made life a lot harder on himself than it needed to be. The same holds true with me. I do mention several of the things which God speaks into my heart but not all of them. If I were to share everything there would be some pretty strong repercussions personally and professionally. So I have to keep a lot of it to myself. But now that I have Jennifer in my life its nice to be able to share everything with her.
I do talk a lot about my relationship with Jennifer. I think I do that because she is just such an answer to prayer. Its been a long long time since I’ve had someone to believe in me as much as she does. If Im going to change the world, she’s got to believe that I can do it too. I guess Im quite honored that she is comfortable leaving a great and secure life to walk out on the plank of faith and dive into my adventure. That’s God’s prompting, I can’t do anything to make that happen. Its like we were both called and that is why we almost instantly knew that we were destined to be together despite the age and geography. Its also nice to be with someone that is better than me at almost everything except canasta, checkers, and the ability to seamlessly repeat stories as if they are being told for the very first time. My father is the master of this, but I learned from the best. I know this seems like a vanity thing, but it makes a difference. She really thinks that Im good looking. She tells me that all the time. Im just not used to those types of praises. I think it must have been around 15 years since anyone has complimented me as much as she does. When I prayed for direction about whether I should marry her, and I honestly sought God. It wasn’t like God if she isn’t the one, then have grand piano drop from the sky with a penguin playing a Waltz on the way down. We sometimes seek God that way, which isn’t really seeking him at all. But I honestly went after but each and every time I asked, I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth before the answer was a resounding Yes. There was never any hesitation or doubt when I went after God seeking the answers. That doesn’t mean that Jennifer is perfect…Lord knows Im not either. But rather we just fit together. Both of us realize that there will be work involved to make the relationship work. But that’s the key, we both are willing to work and we are both committed to mean the “til death do us part” part. Each and everyday God’s will in my life is becoming more and more clear. Im pretty confident right now. In fact, the more things that go wrong professionally and personally, the more confident I become. That doesn’t make any sense. God is in absolute control.
I have some good news which Jennifer kind of stole my thunder. Im going to be back in the U.S. in three days. I am going to see her and Im pretty excited. My family is going to fly out to meet her. First its my parents, then my older sister Shari is going to drive down (3 hours) from Lynchburg to Raleigh. They are all excited to meet her. I really didn’t want to make that big of a deal about a second marriage because to me that just highlights that I had an earlier failed marriage. But I was quite surprised about the response that Jennifer and my story has garnered. Those who know me best, know the perceived injustice and pain that I’ve been through the past five years. I have gotten so many emails and uplifting facebook messages. Its quite overwhelming. Now that Im back on top everyone seems very genuinely not just happy, but thrilled for me. Like they are rooting for the emotional underdog that is coming out on top. My dramatic life (some of it self-imposed) has had so many dramatic twists and turns. That’s why I wanted to do something bold at the airport when my first words to Jenni were asking her to marry me. So if my life ever gets made into a movie, I can use that part as the climax, and the epilogue can read happily ever after. I know I’ll be reconciled with my children at some point because God has clearly told me that it would happen. I just have to be patient.
At first Jennifer and I wanted a small wedding, but we have so many friends and family that want to attend, it just seems to be growing. I hope it stays kind of small, but I think people want to attend because they like the themes of my life, that good guys don’t necessarily finish last. Not that im a good guy, but Im just a sinner saved by grace. Rather, maybe it gives them hope that if they keep the faith, maybe they’ll come out, not just on top, but way on top. I hope that God uses my life as an inspiration to others. I know with a few very specific people he already is.
I do talk a lot about my relationship with Jennifer. I think I do that because she is just such an answer to prayer. Its been a long long time since I’ve had someone to believe in me as much as she does. If Im going to change the world, she’s got to believe that I can do it too. I guess Im quite honored that she is comfortable leaving a great and secure life to walk out on the plank of faith and dive into my adventure. That’s God’s prompting, I can’t do anything to make that happen. Its like we were both called and that is why we almost instantly knew that we were destined to be together despite the age and geography. Its also nice to be with someone that is better than me at almost everything except canasta, checkers, and the ability to seamlessly repeat stories as if they are being told for the very first time. My father is the master of this, but I learned from the best. I know this seems like a vanity thing, but it makes a difference. She really thinks that Im good looking. She tells me that all the time. Im just not used to those types of praises. I think it must have been around 15 years since anyone has complimented me as much as she does. When I prayed for direction about whether I should marry her, and I honestly sought God. It wasn’t like God if she isn’t the one, then have grand piano drop from the sky with a penguin playing a Waltz on the way down. We sometimes seek God that way, which isn’t really seeking him at all. But I honestly went after but each and every time I asked, I couldn’t get the words out of my mouth before the answer was a resounding Yes. There was never any hesitation or doubt when I went after God seeking the answers. That doesn’t mean that Jennifer is perfect…Lord knows Im not either. But rather we just fit together. Both of us realize that there will be work involved to make the relationship work. But that’s the key, we both are willing to work and we are both committed to mean the “til death do us part” part. Each and everyday God’s will in my life is becoming more and more clear. Im pretty confident right now. In fact, the more things that go wrong professionally and personally, the more confident I become. That doesn’t make any sense. God is in absolute control.
I have some good news which Jennifer kind of stole my thunder. Im going to be back in the U.S. in three days. I am going to see her and Im pretty excited. My family is going to fly out to meet her. First its my parents, then my older sister Shari is going to drive down (3 hours) from Lynchburg to Raleigh. They are all excited to meet her. I really didn’t want to make that big of a deal about a second marriage because to me that just highlights that I had an earlier failed marriage. But I was quite surprised about the response that Jennifer and my story has garnered. Those who know me best, know the perceived injustice and pain that I’ve been through the past five years. I have gotten so many emails and uplifting facebook messages. Its quite overwhelming. Now that Im back on top everyone seems very genuinely not just happy, but thrilled for me. Like they are rooting for the emotional underdog that is coming out on top. My dramatic life (some of it self-imposed) has had so many dramatic twists and turns. That’s why I wanted to do something bold at the airport when my first words to Jenni were asking her to marry me. So if my life ever gets made into a movie, I can use that part as the climax, and the epilogue can read happily ever after. I know I’ll be reconciled with my children at some point because God has clearly told me that it would happen. I just have to be patient.
At first Jennifer and I wanted a small wedding, but we have so many friends and family that want to attend, it just seems to be growing. I hope it stays kind of small, but I think people want to attend because they like the themes of my life, that good guys don’t necessarily finish last. Not that im a good guy, but Im just a sinner saved by grace. Rather, maybe it gives them hope that if they keep the faith, maybe they’ll come out, not just on top, but way on top. I hope that God uses my life as an inspiration to others. I know with a few very specific people he already is.
Monday, March 8, 2010
The General Direction
We had a real nice group for our positive living group tonight. There were only three of us, but that proves to be very intimate with more heart to heart talks. The topic of the night was the right associations or be careful who your friends are. A friend can influence you faster than anything. My buddy Wayne says “Show me who your friends are and I’ll show you what your destiny is.” That can work both for the positive and the negative.
I was a little bit tired today after watching the Oscars at 4am. I love watching the telecast. For the longest time I believed I’d win one someday. Now that Im a bit older my goals and dreams have changed somewhat. I still have some very big aspirations. But what I want to do more than anything is following the plan that God has for my life. I have a general direction where I want to head (that is the “Man Plans his ways” part). My general direction is to have a loving relationship with my children, be a good husband to Jennifer, use my creative skills to inspire others to better themselves, exemplify Christ through my life style, and to change the world. Now those are the generals. How am I going to get there (the “God directs his steps part”) I have an idea but Its just a hunch. God is handling all the details as he directs my steps. Three years ago I had the general direction down, but I just couldn’t envision the details. Now that time has passed and my relationship with God has matured I think I have a bit of an indication of how my steps might be directed. But at this point its only a strong hunch. The details aren’t that important. But what is important is knowing wherever my next step will be, be it either left, right, north or south that God will bless that step and each ensuing step. All I have to do is live according live according to His purpose and I can’t lose. I think that is where the peace that passes all understanding comes in.
Im attaching a picture Nishad made from our waterpark visit. It’s pretty funny.
Please continue to pray for my children.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Thousand of words at the waterpark
If a picture is worth a thousand words consider this a complete blog tonight. Im posting pictures from the waterpark on Saturday. It was truly a special day. I hope that comes through with these pictures.
It was a really big day today. We just got confirmation on one of the largest contracts ever at KSDi. We’ll be doing a pretty big biography. That is going to take up a majority of my time at work for the next few months. Im headed out to the US next week to spend a week with Jennifer getting to know her friends and family and meeting her parents face to face. I think my parents even might fly out to meet her. They really like her. Oh…if I didn’t mention it ahead of time, I did ask Jennifer’s father permission for his daughter’s hand in marriage. He did say yes.
Im not going to have time to write in the blog later. Im off to play Darren Squash at the British Club, then Quiz night at JJ’s, then I plan to wake up at 4am to catch the Oscars. In between all of this I have to figure out how to talk to Jennifer for our regular six hour a day chat. So pretty busy…but pretty exciting.
Oh…one more thing. I was reading in my devotional today (My Utmost for His Highest) How the purpose of trials in our life is that we can experience God’s amazing Joy simultaneously with our problems. That is where the “Joy of the Lord is our strength” comes in. The verse “Consider it all joy my brethren when you fall into various trials.” Never really made sense to me until I matured as a Christian. Now I realize the reason. Whenever “the crap” hits and you are living your life right the spiritual body reacts by combating the crap with Joy and peace. Its kind of like whenever you have an infection your white blood cells immediately start attacking the infection to start the healing process. That is how God intends Joy to work. When the crap hits, Joy is supposed to go to work. It doesn’t make sense from an earthly standpoint but it just plain works. I’ve had a lot of pain the last few months but still…my Joy is full. The Joy of the Lord is my strength.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Memorable day at the waterpark
Wow as soon as I say I’ve run out of things to say, I realize I have many more things to say. I was in Fuddrucker’s just an hour ago. You might remember that I befriended the manager at the Fuddrucker’s in Juffair, where I used to live. He liked watching Prison Break, so I lent him the first two seasons. I hadn’t seen him for a couple of months. So I went to the Fuddrucker’s in Adaliya near my new home. He was very excited to see me. He told me he went to Nepal for his month vacation and recently just got back. He invited me next year to come visit him in Nepal when he goes on his next vacation. I have invitations like that to about 15 different countries. This is a pretty amazing place for that. Then something a little unexpected happened. I was watching this overview/documentary on LOST they were talking about the music and they played a 20 second music clip. The music is the same that I used in my engagement video so as soon as I heard the tune, the association kicked in, I started crying immediately right there in Fuddruckers. I do love that girl Jennifer, and each and everyday Im convinced even more that she is the perfect girl for me. Im so happy with her in my life. Even if other things aren’t going as well at the moment, I have that relationship to pull me through. God’s timing was/is perfect. Im so thankful for Him bringing her in my life exactly when and how He did it. Things aren’t going to be perfect for us in this relationship, but we are both committed to the “til death do us part thing.” As long as two people are firmly committed, every relationship is workable.
Let me get to something that happened yesterday. I have a good friend, Adam that is the PR manager of a great waterpark here called the Lost Paradise of Dilmun. It was opening day, so invited all the media to the event. I gave an open invitation to the office but only four people wanted to come. The day started out very dreary. There was a bad sandstorm and the weather was only about 70 degrees. Hardly the best day for the season opener for a waterpark. But we had free tickets and the group still wanted to go. Now I’m going to tell this story in a little detail to give you some perspective. This was the first time in a waterpark for these four (two Filipinas, and two Indian men). Now its easy to see the reason why. A one day’s admission of around $40 is just around 5-10% of their monthly salary. So they just wouldn’t pay to go to a park like that. So they were excited about the possibility. When I picked up the Indians, neither of them had swimming trunks. One them had one but it had holes in it and he was embarrassed to wear it. So we stopped by a store along the way and I bought them both a pair. One of them after realizing that I was paying for it joked, if he knew I was buying he would have bought a better pair. I wish I would have known, because I absolutely would have bought him another pair. Now the English for these two is extremely limited but we still manage to communicate.
We were there a couple of hours or so, and none of them had been on any of the slides. I think they were scared. So finally I decided to take matters into my own hands and strongly encourage them. Remember they had never been on any water rides before and probably haven’t been to that many theme parks either. I love theme parks and water parks. So first I coaxed Julie, a Filipina grandmother onto the double tube to go down a ride called boomerang. She was scared but she really had a blasted screaming the whole way. It was a pretty special experience, then Bene went. She too had fun. Finally we got the Indian guys to go. We went down a slide with a huge raft. Nishad, our photographer screamed like a girl the whole way down. It was quite funny. Priyesh was getting more and more courageous each time out. I was able to talk him into going down some of the faster slides. We all had a very good time. They wound up taking so many pictures of themselves in various spots around the park. It was a very special experience for all of us. I was glad I was there to take part in it. Im not meaning to over-dramatize this, but this very possibly was really a once in a lifetime experience for these four. I was so honored to be a part of it. I was so spoiled growing up at being able to go to waterparks on such a regular basis. I’ve forgotten til yesterday, how very privileged and blessed I was. We don’t really value what we have til we either lose it, or see someone else that doesn’t have it. I hope I can make a lifetime of sharing these amazing types of experiences with people that have not enjoyed them all too often. I often tell people that I want to be filthy stinking rich, so I can give it all away.
Let me get to something that happened yesterday. I have a good friend, Adam that is the PR manager of a great waterpark here called the Lost Paradise of Dilmun. It was opening day, so invited all the media to the event. I gave an open invitation to the office but only four people wanted to come. The day started out very dreary. There was a bad sandstorm and the weather was only about 70 degrees. Hardly the best day for the season opener for a waterpark. But we had free tickets and the group still wanted to go. Now I’m going to tell this story in a little detail to give you some perspective. This was the first time in a waterpark for these four (two Filipinas, and two Indian men). Now its easy to see the reason why. A one day’s admission of around $40 is just around 5-10% of their monthly salary. So they just wouldn’t pay to go to a park like that. So they were excited about the possibility. When I picked up the Indians, neither of them had swimming trunks. One them had one but it had holes in it and he was embarrassed to wear it. So we stopped by a store along the way and I bought them both a pair. One of them after realizing that I was paying for it joked, if he knew I was buying he would have bought a better pair. I wish I would have known, because I absolutely would have bought him another pair. Now the English for these two is extremely limited but we still manage to communicate.
We were there a couple of hours or so, and none of them had been on any of the slides. I think they were scared. So finally I decided to take matters into my own hands and strongly encourage them. Remember they had never been on any water rides before and probably haven’t been to that many theme parks either. I love theme parks and water parks. So first I coaxed Julie, a Filipina grandmother onto the double tube to go down a ride called boomerang. She was scared but she really had a blasted screaming the whole way. It was a pretty special experience, then Bene went. She too had fun. Finally we got the Indian guys to go. We went down a slide with a huge raft. Nishad, our photographer screamed like a girl the whole way down. It was quite funny. Priyesh was getting more and more courageous each time out. I was able to talk him into going down some of the faster slides. We all had a very good time. They wound up taking so many pictures of themselves in various spots around the park. It was a very special experience for all of us. I was glad I was there to take part in it. Im not meaning to over-dramatize this, but this very possibly was really a once in a lifetime experience for these four. I was so honored to be a part of it. I was so spoiled growing up at being able to go to waterparks on such a regular basis. I’ve forgotten til yesterday, how very privileged and blessed I was. We don’t really value what we have til we either lose it, or see someone else that doesn’t have it. I hope I can make a lifetime of sharing these amazing types of experiences with people that have not enjoyed them all too often. I often tell people that I want to be filthy stinking rich, so I can give it all away.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Go go go Joseph
It was a very special day today on a couple of levels. First of all, God has really been speaking to me lately. Just to put it out there as a matter of faith I’ll tell you about it. First of all…meeting and becoming engaged to Jennifer was an absolutely called shot by God. Now we have to work out the details. My career, her career, her dissertation, when exactly to get married, where to live, what to do with her dogs, her house, which way to roll the toilet paper over or under..etc. So while I was with Jennifer I felt like God told me that everything would get sorted out in a spectacular way in two months. That word was around the middle of Feb. (I forgot to write the exact date down). So its going to happen somewhere around Mid-April I believe. God is so cool when he gives me these dates. They always come to pass. So this week God told me that to prepare for the future and for guidance I was supposed to fast for two days. Just a short little one, and Jennifer did too. We are both really seeking God’s perfect will in our lives, not just his permissive will.
Anytime you fast you can really hear God’s voice much more clearly. You become absolutely in tune with him. I download a lot of sermons on my ipod. On Wed. by happenstance I picked one of 50 sermons I had by Charles Stanley and it was on Joseph and God’s faithfulness. I’ve always liked the Joseph story because I felt like I could relate. Then today at church Graeme spoke on…..Joseph. You think God is trying to tell me something here? Yeah. Joseph is a guy who had a few faults, spoke out when he shouldn’t have, but always kept the faith. There are so many unjust and unfair things that happened to Joseph, but he persevered with his faith and ultimately wound up on the extreme positive side. The injustice that happened to Joseph is almost beyond comprehension. Those closest to me know and believe that I have suffered almost unbelievable injustice. I loved my former wife and kids more than any man possibly could. Then to see all this hatred and bitterness brew is beyond heart breaking. That is why so many friends and family through facebook and other outlets are so thrilled for me because I’ve found love again. They know what I’ve been through and they are so genuinely happy for me. But this whole 5 years is a testimony to God as I’ve had the strength to not only endure but to thrive. Even as my relationship with my children becomes even more fractured God is giving me the strength. I try not to think about the loss too much as it would just cripple me. I take Philippians 4 to heart, Whatever is good, whatever is righteous, whatever is noble, think on these things. So what encouraged me is that even though bad things are happening and totally unfair, those same things happened to Joseph too. I just have to persevere. God is already starting to bless me for my faithfulness. That is the picture with Jennifer…the perfect girl for me. Its pretty amazing how many precise details God got right with her for me. I think its just testimony to how he cares about the little things.
Anytime that God wants to make a point to you he’ll repeat it through two or three witnesses. Hearing the story of injustice and ultimate redemption in Joseph’s life again was God’s way of telling me to hang in there. I know someday I’ll enjoy a great relationship with my children (whom I dearly love) for now there’s someone in my life to love me and help me through this tough time of physical and emotional estrangement. God gave me a helper just like he gave Adam with Eve. God knew exactly what I needed.
Part 2 of today will come tomorrow with tales of a day at the waterpark with some of my staff. God is very very good…even in the midst of a storm.
Anytime you fast you can really hear God’s voice much more clearly. You become absolutely in tune with him. I download a lot of sermons on my ipod. On Wed. by happenstance I picked one of 50 sermons I had by Charles Stanley and it was on Joseph and God’s faithfulness. I’ve always liked the Joseph story because I felt like I could relate. Then today at church Graeme spoke on…..Joseph. You think God is trying to tell me something here? Yeah. Joseph is a guy who had a few faults, spoke out when he shouldn’t have, but always kept the faith. There are so many unjust and unfair things that happened to Joseph, but he persevered with his faith and ultimately wound up on the extreme positive side. The injustice that happened to Joseph is almost beyond comprehension. Those closest to me know and believe that I have suffered almost unbelievable injustice. I loved my former wife and kids more than any man possibly could. Then to see all this hatred and bitterness brew is beyond heart breaking. That is why so many friends and family through facebook and other outlets are so thrilled for me because I’ve found love again. They know what I’ve been through and they are so genuinely happy for me. But this whole 5 years is a testimony to God as I’ve had the strength to not only endure but to thrive. Even as my relationship with my children becomes even more fractured God is giving me the strength. I try not to think about the loss too much as it would just cripple me. I take Philippians 4 to heart, Whatever is good, whatever is righteous, whatever is noble, think on these things. So what encouraged me is that even though bad things are happening and totally unfair, those same things happened to Joseph too. I just have to persevere. God is already starting to bless me for my faithfulness. That is the picture with Jennifer…the perfect girl for me. Its pretty amazing how many precise details God got right with her for me. I think its just testimony to how he cares about the little things.
Anytime that God wants to make a point to you he’ll repeat it through two or three witnesses. Hearing the story of injustice and ultimate redemption in Joseph’s life again was God’s way of telling me to hang in there. I know someday I’ll enjoy a great relationship with my children (whom I dearly love) for now there’s someone in my life to love me and help me through this tough time of physical and emotional estrangement. God gave me a helper just like he gave Adam with Eve. God knew exactly what I needed.
Part 2 of today will come tomorrow with tales of a day at the waterpark with some of my staff. God is very very good…even in the midst of a storm.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Cutting back
As you might have noticed, I’ve cut back on the blog. There a couple of reasons for that. I used to write habitually every night. I couldn’t sleep if I didn’t post something. Maybe it was an addiction, since I have an addictive personality. But I don’t think it was an unhealthy addiction. Writers write. The more you write the better you get at it. Plus it was a calling…me writing this blog. Many times I’ve felt led by the Holy Spirit to say certain things. So Im sure God is using this. One quick example comes to mind and I’ve mentioned this previously. One local Muslim started reading this blog (I have no idea how he found it) and he disputed my views of God. So we went out to dinner and I shared my faith with him and he with me. We’ve been friends ever since. He has also been a regular at my Monday group…I love having his perspective. He has just finished reading Purpose Driven Life and is now reading Your Best Life Now. So I guess that is one tangible example of God using this blog. There are many others but even just the one is absolutely reassuring.
One of the hard things about writing this blog is when I have something I need to keep secret. I usually don’t pre-plan what Im going to write about. Instead I take a stream of consciousness approach that whatever comes out…comes out. Ive had to go delete large portions in the past when I’ve had a check in my spirit about certain content but more often than not, I haven’t had to do so. But for the last few weeks there are certain very big and important things happening in my life which I’m not at liberty to share the details just yet. I think someday, I’ll be able to do that. Having to hold back..or self censor really blocks the stream of consciousness approach. Its absolutely crippling in fact. Maybe once these few issues clear up I’ll be able to be more free with the information. Now Im tring to err on the side of caution and prudence.
Another issue why Im not writing as much has to do with Jennifer. Which is a very good thing. She takes up most of my free time now. Im so happy that she’s in my life. In many ways, to borrow a phrase from Jerry Maguire “She completes me” thus the need for writing daily in the blog diminishes a bit.
So no matter what the reason, Im just not writing as much any more. But I still want to do so. Its great therapy for me. I think once Jennifer and I get married and live on the same continent it will be easier as my blog will merge with her blog….hmmmmmm I didn’t mean the connotation with that, but it works on a couple of different levels. So I think that will be easier.
I do want my life to be a testimony to God’s faithfulness. Whether that be through my work, interpersonal relationships, speaking engagements or this blog. I’m just an instrument and he can use me however he wants.
One of the hard things about writing this blog is when I have something I need to keep secret. I usually don’t pre-plan what Im going to write about. Instead I take a stream of consciousness approach that whatever comes out…comes out. Ive had to go delete large portions in the past when I’ve had a check in my spirit about certain content but more often than not, I haven’t had to do so. But for the last few weeks there are certain very big and important things happening in my life which I’m not at liberty to share the details just yet. I think someday, I’ll be able to do that. Having to hold back..or self censor really blocks the stream of consciousness approach. Its absolutely crippling in fact. Maybe once these few issues clear up I’ll be able to be more free with the information. Now Im tring to err on the side of caution and prudence.
Another issue why Im not writing as much has to do with Jennifer. Which is a very good thing. She takes up most of my free time now. Im so happy that she’s in my life. In many ways, to borrow a phrase from Jerry Maguire “She completes me” thus the need for writing daily in the blog diminishes a bit.
So no matter what the reason, Im just not writing as much any more. But I still want to do so. Its great therapy for me. I think once Jennifer and I get married and live on the same continent it will be easier as my blog will merge with her blog….hmmmmmm I didn’t mean the connotation with that, but it works on a couple of different levels. So I think that will be easier.
I do want my life to be a testimony to God’s faithfulness. Whether that be through my work, interpersonal relationships, speaking engagements or this blog. I’m just an instrument and he can use me however he wants.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
confidence then the test
I was so confident yesterday. My confidence was born from God’s absolute faithfulness. I don’t think I was showing off, but perhaps I was. The confidence was certainly tested today. It seems like I was struck from both points of the globe. Starting this morning at 5 am with a body blow then an uppercut a few hours later at 10am. I was stunned at first but not knocked to the canvas. I might go into details in a few weeks but for now, just the generalities. The first thing I did when the crap hit was give it to God and acknowledge that He is control. So when all seems upside, I just praised God thanking him for being in control. I prayed against the fear and the fear went away. So I don’t think it was a coincidence everything hitting all at once. First with Jennifer leaving two days ago, then everything earlier today. I think…no, I know that it was a test. Im feeling pretty positive that I handled it in the right way. It is going to be a pretty momentous 7 weeks. So I was stunned a little earlier today. But now Im just as positive as I was last night. It sure helps to have Jennifer in my corner. Perhaps God brought her into my life for this season because he knew I needed an encourager, a teammate, to get me through this section of life.
There has been a disagreement of sorts between Nader and I about the value of the Funniest Person competition. We didn’t make much money at it. But it was bold and innovative. I told him I didn’t think the project would make a lot of money but it would be great for PR for the company. Getting the brand name out there. So today we were out scouting for a big shoot tomorrow, where the Prime Minister will be in attendance. The organizer of the event recognized me and said aren’t you the guy that’s doing the Funniest Person contest. So that was a good connection for us. It will lead to more work down the road. It will bode well for us in the future. Then I went to dinner at Johnny Rocket’s. I saw a friend I haven’t seen for a couple of months. He congratulated me on the engagement as he read it in the paper. Im getting a lot of responses like that. It’s a small island so that type of coverage can go a long way here. Its easier to saturate a smaller space. Its always kind of fun when I go to restaurants and recognized by the wait staff. Again the “Hollywood” thing goes a long way out here.
I got pat hooked on LOST. He was right at the end of season 2, there is a line that Penny, Desmond’s fiancé says “All we really need is someone to love us.” Im not sure about the theology behind that because we need God’s love. But the concept is ringing true for me. I think that is the main reason why God brought Jennifer into my life at the moment. No matter what I face…and today was a tough one, all I needed was that person to love me. God used that person to help me through the day. I think the next seven weeks is going to be quite eventful. Im glad I have someone in my corner to see me through.
There has been a disagreement of sorts between Nader and I about the value of the Funniest Person competition. We didn’t make much money at it. But it was bold and innovative. I told him I didn’t think the project would make a lot of money but it would be great for PR for the company. Getting the brand name out there. So today we were out scouting for a big shoot tomorrow, where the Prime Minister will be in attendance. The organizer of the event recognized me and said aren’t you the guy that’s doing the Funniest Person contest. So that was a good connection for us. It will lead to more work down the road. It will bode well for us in the future. Then I went to dinner at Johnny Rocket’s. I saw a friend I haven’t seen for a couple of months. He congratulated me on the engagement as he read it in the paper. Im getting a lot of responses like that. It’s a small island so that type of coverage can go a long way here. Its easier to saturate a smaller space. Its always kind of fun when I go to restaurants and recognized by the wait staff. Again the “Hollywood” thing goes a long way out here.
I got pat hooked on LOST. He was right at the end of season 2, there is a line that Penny, Desmond’s fiancé says “All we really need is someone to love us.” Im not sure about the theology behind that because we need God’s love. But the concept is ringing true for me. I think that is the main reason why God brought Jennifer into my life at the moment. No matter what I face…and today was a tough one, all I needed was that person to love me. God used that person to help me through the day. I think the next seven weeks is going to be quite eventful. Im glad I have someone in my corner to see me through.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Faith is contagious
It was the first day back at the office without Jennifer. Getting into a routine is good for me. The first and most important part of the routine is getting back into my devotional routine. I slacked off a bit as everything was focused on Jennifer. I don’t necessarily think that it is a bad thing. Ecclesiastes tells us that there is a time and purpose for everything. So my pursuit of Jennifer was totally of God. It was nice though to have someone to pray and do devotions with. So I feel more empowered today. I am so joyful lately. It feels great being in the direct center of God’s will. I feel like I can overcome any obstacle. It has been really rough go at work the last few months. There are several psychological reasons for that, that I may explain someday, but for now, I shouldn’t go into specifics. But even with all the negative going on, I still have such an amazing peace. Its kind of appropriate that the theme of tonight’s living group was Faith. “If you believe all things are possible.” God has come through for me so many times, that my faith is just off the charts right now. I feel like spiritually, I can do almost anything right now because of my faith. Im being so specific with the details of my life so hopefully that you can be encouraged as well. I think that God is going to use my life as an example to others. That’s why im so comfortable in sharing my problems, faults, faith and hope with you. This blog is a good outlet. I want to use the media to further the reach someday. But that is up to God. Im merely along for the ride. The blog will have to do for now.
Something hit me today as I was working. My priorities are shifting a bit. I know God sent me a on a mission here. Is the mission over? Have I accomplished what I needed to, learned what needed to, helped who I needed to help? Is my mission just beginning, is it on pause? Im not sure. God is doing so many incredible things in my life. I know Im in the midst of his plan, that’s why the status of my mission is not really important right now. What I do know is over is my single life (praise God). Whatever happens after this Im confident that I’ll still be in the center of God’s will. Where I live, what I do for work is not important. But being with Jennifer right now is. I believe that God brought her into my life to be my partner. I think Im about to embark on phase 2 of God’s plan. He knew I needed a helpmate to get me through. Jennifer is that partner. We are planning on getting married as soon as possible, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that we will be living together right away. So some might ask…what’s the rush? Well…since we both know that God has designed us for each other and we are a perfect fit in so many ways, Why not the rush? Im living my life by 100% faith right now. Its nice having someone support me with whatever decision I make.
Jennifer has a lot more pressure on herself that I have right now. She’s trying to finish her dissertation, maintain her career, get a new roof, take care of her dogs, rent her house, pack and move, she’s got so many different things on her plate. I feel bad for her. My life seems so simple compared to hers right now. I think though that Jennifer is relying upon me for part of her spiritual guidance to get her through the rough stuff. Apparently…faith is contagious.
Something hit me today as I was working. My priorities are shifting a bit. I know God sent me a on a mission here. Is the mission over? Have I accomplished what I needed to, learned what needed to, helped who I needed to help? Is my mission just beginning, is it on pause? Im not sure. God is doing so many incredible things in my life. I know Im in the midst of his plan, that’s why the status of my mission is not really important right now. What I do know is over is my single life (praise God). Whatever happens after this Im confident that I’ll still be in the center of God’s will. Where I live, what I do for work is not important. But being with Jennifer right now is. I believe that God brought her into my life to be my partner. I think Im about to embark on phase 2 of God’s plan. He knew I needed a helpmate to get me through. Jennifer is that partner. We are planning on getting married as soon as possible, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that we will be living together right away. So some might ask…what’s the rush? Well…since we both know that God has designed us for each other and we are a perfect fit in so many ways, Why not the rush? Im living my life by 100% faith right now. Its nice having someone support me with whatever decision I make.
Jennifer has a lot more pressure on herself that I have right now. She’s trying to finish her dissertation, maintain her career, get a new roof, take care of her dogs, rent her house, pack and move, she’s got so many different things on her plate. I feel bad for her. My life seems so simple compared to hers right now. I think though that Jennifer is relying upon me for part of her spiritual guidance to get her through the rough stuff. Apparently…faith is contagious.
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