Rick Beeman

  The more and more time that passes the more I am accepting of my reality that this is my new normal. Does that mean I’m happy about it?  Heck No!  But with acceptance that I cannot change my reality comes peace.  Perhaps I’m over the grieving phase of my loss moving directly into the acceptance phase.  The five stages of grief if I need to remind you (I had to remind myself): The five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I went through the first four kicking and screaming.  Now I’m rounding into acceptance and I was tested on it today.  I had a great week.  Even a fabulous week.  Did I win the lottery, reconcile? Or get a promotion?  No, what made it a fabulous week was simply my attitude.  Something that was entirely in my control.  Event wise it was a fairly non-chalant week.  I did have my daughters to look forward to this weekend so that always helps.  But the weekend did not quite go a...

  I had a very strong impression a few days ago that this was going to be a very tough week. So I was able to prepare for it…or so I thought.  I did blog about this a couple of days ago.  So I had a bad day on Thursday but a surprisingly good day on Friday.  I thought I was out of the woods.  Boy was I wrong.  Yesterday, Saturday was absolutely brutal.  Did anything bad happen to me to make it horrible? no.  There was just a heaviness on me that I could almost feel.  I was filled with fear, depression and doubt.  It just kind of snuck up on me, right after I finished yesterday’s blog post around 8:00pm.  Some people believe in spiritual attacks and some people don’t.  The great line from the Usual Suspects is “The greatest trick the Devil ever did was convince the world he didn’t exist.”  I felt what can only be described as a dark presence all night last night even waking up in the middle of the night to it. Since this is...

This is the third part in a series where I am examining my life in detail.  This is in part to evaluate my past so I can learn from my mistakes as well as give me hope for the future.  I have answered who am I? and What have I done?  Now I will examine marriage and relationships.  I was very fortunate to grow up in a God fearing home.  I understand that I won the genetic lottery as I lived a very privileged life growing up.  I didn’t really appreciate all the blessings that I had, and I don’t think many kids do.  For me it was just normal.  I think if you have a healthy childhood, no matter how you grow up, rich or poor that is normal to you.  I have taken many parenting classes over the years.  I have surmised from these several things.  But the principal thing is unity for a parent.  The most important aspect of being a mother or a father is for the husband to love the wife and likewise.  This will give the...