Holding a spot in the 2010 schedule

Well…I get the feeling that my six weeks of challenges are just about over. It seems like a heaviness has been lifted. If this had been a test, I think I passed it for the most part. I fell asleep while writing my blog last night. So I woke up at 4 am finished it up and by then I was awake. So I watched part of movie, did some emails and went to bed when the sun came up at 5 am. I slept til 10 am and felt a sickness coming on. I had flu-like symptoms when I went to bed and I think I had the chills in the morning. But I prayed it away…and about an hour after I named my sickness and claimed victory over it, it was gone. I really haven’t been sick since I have adopted this method of prayer. It really works. Though I am still a diabetic, and I’ve tried to pray that away to no avail. This is where the “God’s grace is sufficient for me” part comes in.

I woke up and went to my favorite little Mexican restaurant for breakfast. I was really sad when they told me they were going to close it down. I’ve developed quite a relationship with the staff there. They were sorry to have to tell me as well. I had a meeting with Bahrain TV today and it was fabulous. I met with Fathi, the head of all Bahrain Radio and Television and he referred me to a consultant from Lebanon who is in charge of the lineup. It didn’t take much for him to give the greenlight to the Funniest Person in Bahrain. They are reserving a spot in their 2010 lineup for it. Now I just have to negotiate a price. Plus they want to run it on TV-44, the Arabic channel, which more people watch than the English. The good news is, I can keep the show in English. The only downside, and its really not that bad, is that it needs an Arabic host. Im hoping I can get Nader to host the show since he is a gifted comedian as well. Now I have to give them a proposal for the financials of the show. They want to create a set in their studio for it. I’d rather keep it at the lounge where we are at now, but we’ll have to see how that plays out. He also asked me if I was better at New Magazine Shows, or Documentaries. Really I excel at both, but I chose news magazines. He assigned me a show to develop on Culture and Technology. Well…FACT magazine, which is an acronym for Fashion Art Culture, Technology, is owned my Omar Khalifa’s son. So we have an immediate partnership there where we can create a video and print version of the magazine. Im also going to try to pitch him a few other projects as well. I would love to turn the acting classes into a tv show. Some of the performances we get out of the classes are dynamite. So I was just floating after that meeting. It dawned on me. I just sold my first tv show. Granted it’s the low-budget, low reach of Bahrain TV, but it’s still a viable broadcast outlet. We can hone our craft here and then maybe expand our programming to the Middle East Market…maybe even the world. This is the first step we’re taking towards becoming a viable entertainment company.

Thank you for your prayers. They are working.

Yeah!!!! for Tariq

It was a very good day today. I think I’m nearly coming to the end of the 6 weeks of suckage. Not a moment too soon either. I stayed out last night way too late. After drinks at my friend John’s house, a bunch wanted to go to swanky club. I truly hate clubs which is a shame, because of my connections I could get a lot of perks. So I got to sleep really late. I got up early for church. I so wanted to sleep in and skip it. But last week I did sleep in and Pastor Graeme noticed. So this week I had to make sure I was there. But wouldn’t you know it, Pastor Graeme wasn’t there. After the service I met these two really interesting characters. They are both coaches for a professional basketball league in Bahrain. We went to lunch together afterwards and really had a great time. I invited my friend Mr. Harlem over, Art, and we all had a great time talking and getting to know each other. One of the coaches is looking for a new place to live and Im looking for a roommate. So he came over and checked the place out. He was very impressed with it.

I tried to take a nap, and I did for about 15 minutes. Then I was loaded with energy. I went for a kayak ride. The water is still really comfortable. Now keep in mind after I fell into the water 12 times my first time kayaking, I had not fallen in the water since that time. Then comes this yahoo on a jet ski headed right towards me. I think he was showing off for his girlfriend riding in the back. I think they wanted to zip in front of me at the last minute for giggles. But they underestimated how fast I was going. So at the last minute they pulled up and spun around about a 1 meter away from me. The huge wake threw me over. They sped away. I quickly got back on the kayak in one smooth motion. I was pretty annoyed. They came back to apologize and nearly knocked me over again. I then went off to judge a comedy competition that Imran was hosting. Imran and I are both trying to do things that havent’s been done before. This is the same contest I judged at last week. Last week we had three contestants win a spot to perform on the main stage for this show tonight. One of the last additions to the 3, and the other judge and I debated on this, was a guy by the name of Tariq Shariff. He barely made the cut. Now Tariq has been a very good friend to me. In fact it was he and Muneer that convinced me to create The Funniest Person in Bahrain. So I consider them a part of my creative team. Tariq really wants to improve so he asked me how he could get better. I told him not to rely upon his structured material, instead go with his instincts, as he’s a naturally funny guy. So he stumbled up there for 30 seconds then went completely off-book. Tariq absolutely killed (comedy term for doing well). I was so proud of him, especially since he was so nervous last week that he dropped out…then put himself in at the last minute all because of nerves. The other acts on the night were really funny, but Tariq took the cake. Tariq’s nickname is rick, so Im trying to get everyone to call him Tariq, so I can keep the “rick” name all to myself. Im proud to say that about half of the contestants from tonight were either from my acting class or my improv competition. That made me feel great.

I just woke up. I must have fallen asleep while writing this blog. Its 4:30 am..so Im just about to post. Im so excited because I can sleep in tomorrow. I don’t have to get up until my meeting at 1:30. Im pretty excited about that. Thank you for your continued prayers.

Up and down

Im pretty tired so I don’t know how long this will be. I was invited over to my friend John’s house for drinks. I met a lot of people my age…30’s-40’s. It was a night full of interesting conversation. I really enjoyed it.

Today was an up and down day for me. God was really speaking to me in the morning that I need to spend more time in silence before him. My meditation time is way off especially since I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to kayak. I try to tak the advice of Paul and pray constantly. So I always strive to be a in a spirit of prayer. But taking the time and just being with God I haven’t been doing enough of. Oh…I’ll take five-10 minutes in the morning and at lunch, perhaps listen to a podcast of a sermon back home or have my CD of prayer music. But actually just stopping and being still before the spirit…is something I need to much more of , and not just for a few minutes at a time. If this was new year’s I’d make it a resolution. One benefit of living alone is that I have a lot of quiet time with God. There is no silence in my flat, only opportunities to commune with God. So most of the time I utilize that opportunity but not for the past month. Maybe that is one reason why God had me remain single for so long, so I would develop that intimacy with him. If that was His plan, I think it worked.

Well, I got good news and bad news today. One project got approved and finalized, after so many re-edits. The other one still dragged on and on. Apparently this one was my fault today. They gave me a list of edits they wanted included in the script. Even though the translator thought they were wrong. That’s the hard part of Arabic translation. There are different ways to say things. So many times its just a matter of opinion. Since they are the client we’ll throw it in there for them. Apparently this wasn’t communicated properly by me to my editor who then didn’t properly communicate to the translator. So some of the changes they wanted to see didn’t get in. It made me and my company look bad. The good thing is that they have a sense of urgency. I think they want to get this thing completed. We have a screening on Sunday at 9:00 hopefully then this albatross of a production will be over.

I did get good news today (I saved a bunch of money on my car…oh nevermind) The President of Bahrain tv finally called me back. We have a meeting on Saturday to discuss our projects. This is very encouraging news. I needed the good news today after a series of unfortunate events. Im glad it’s a weekend and I look forward to my nap after church tomorrow

All Star Hockey Games

I actually have been debating and praying whether I should write this blog all day. I don’t want to use this forum to always detail the actions and justifications of X. I certainly want to be fair, honest and forthright. I don’t want this to be perceived as a platform for me attacking another person or being petty. So this is the petition I talked with God about. Should I write about what has recently transpired or not. The answer was very clear. I don’t think this blog, or the life Im living right now has anything to do with me or selfish ambition at this point. This is part of me having to deny myself daily. Im writing and living my life as tool that hopefully God can use to inspire others and sow seeds for His kingdom. Im hoping that my life will be an example to others. Perhaps this is one of the main reasons why I wrote this blog. I have had so many people say to me…I thought my situation was bad…but yours is much worse. Somehow this revelation helps them put what they are going through in perspective.

I got a call from my youngest son last night. He rarely talks on the phone, and when he does call its usually to tell me bad news. The last time I talked to him, He told me he was planning on having Thanksgiving dinner with his mother. Keep in mind, Im flying back to the U.S. for thanksgiving because its my year. I tried to get extra days at Thanksgiving because Im giving up Christmas. X made it clear that she wants the kids to be with her during the birth of her baby. I didn’t want the kids to be shuttled back and forth so I thought it was best that I skip Christmas this year and celebrate when I see them at Thanksgiving. Still she didn’t want to give me extra days at Thanksgiving and wanted to hide behind the decree. Part of the manipulators m.o. is control. The decree serves as her attempt at control. So my youngest called and told me he wanted to cut short his visit with me on the weekend because he was going to an all-star hockey game with his mom and new hubby. This obviously broke my heart. I told him that I would take him to the hockey game, but He didn’t want to hear that. I told him that I only get to seem him a few weeks a year now and it wasn’t fair. He said…Well you chose to live in Bahrain (What kind of 11 year old talks like that?). They knew I was coming that particular weekend yet still they tried entice my youngest with even more time away from my dad. I see nothing but vindictiveness in this situation.

To me its quite obvious what is happening. This is the latest in the line of parental alienation tactics coming from X. Its like giving a child a plate of vegetables and candy, and then absolving responsibility when the child goes for the candy saying “It was their choice.” The central core of parental alienation is manipulation. According to the research done on this topic the children then fervently defend the custodial parent and claim their thoughts and actions are their own and weren’t coerced at all by the custodial parent. This is a textbook case. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_alienation
She will spin this and say it was my youngest son’s choice and she had nothing to do with it. She has an amazing “Clintonesque” way of spinning out of everything negative casting the blame on everyone else. Quite simply…there is no way I can win in this situation. I just have to wait it out and eventually the children will see “true” character.

Now the reason why I debated writing this blog is because it feeds into the drama addiction of which she will undoubtedly blame me as having. She will reason that instigated the fight by writing this blog. But again that is just part of the spin and justification. By the way, it has been just about three weeks since the last brouhaha. X always charges that I lost the kids because I chose to live in Bahrain. Well…I certainly was called to live here, that is unquestioned in my mind. But God answered the “why” question earlier too. When I found out about the drama addiction, it hit me. This need for drama on her part would be the same If I lived in the same town or half way around the world. If Im half way around the world, the kids get caught in the crossfire less often. I think its better mental health for them to have one home and not have to be trotted back and forth every other weekend, especially in the dysfuctionality that X and I have as co-parents. There have been numerous calls to the Sheriff, Child Protective Services, and lawyers with X trying to get my legal right to see the children restricted or eliminated altogether.

I just don’t think its healthy for the kids to sit in the car and watching their mom talk to the Sheriff in front of my house trying to get their dad charged with “abandonment.” All the many charges that she made with CPS and the lawyers were dropped because they were absolutely baseless. The system can see through this as Im sure X is not the only one out there like this. So I felt it would be far better for the children for me to be far away from the conflict so they won’t have to experience anymore pain. But still even halfway around the world and almost three years since our divorce, there seems to be more conflict now than ever. Again, im sure she’ll blame me for this. Im ashamed and embarrassed that I couldn’t make my marriage work for the children’s sake. Now I just don’t want it to be worse. Am I making it worse by detailing my pain in this blog? I imagine so as this is providing the fuel for the drama addiction. But I just felt like I should write about it tonight. I feel like I do have a larger purpose in talking about the plight of the non-custodial parent. Maybe others can learn from me. Im obviously losing this battle…as Im refusing to fight, ButI know my stance will win the War. God has told me as much. Hopefully the children will suffer less injuries this way. Now I expect that X will get really angry as she reads this and offer a strongly worded rebuttal detailing how everything that has ever happened has been my fault. I really think she believes it too. In the midst of our divorce she once told me that 90% of the problems in our relationship were my fault and 10% were hers. She’s got somebody now to believe her side of the story. You know if you tell someone or yourself something long enough…eventually you’ll start to believe it. This is one of the reasons why I get up and stare in the mirror at myself every morning. Sometimes I don’t like the person that is looking back at…but it forces me to be honest with myself.

Another reason why I wanted to share these details is to ask for your prayers. Prayers work…my life is a living example of it.

Oh God let them like it please....

Well I had a meeting with the client today to go over our video for the 8th time. Im so flustered by this. Next time Im going to do it a lot differently but we are kind of stuck on this one. So we go to the conference room and it starts off poorly. They complain that the quality of video is not up to standards and then detail of how I have failed and how others have done so much better. They compare me with other projects that had half the budget and were much better in quality. Now I have a pretty good esteem and am objective, so I stood up to the client to defend myself and it got worse. I reasoned that Im proud of this project and it really is quite good. They said they are abandoning the deadline and are going to work on the project til they feel satisfied. What???? More re-edits. I talked to several other people and this sort of tactic is common. So I said lets get started with the video. About two minutes through they had me stopped it and again pointed out how unprofessional it was. At issue was two different types of font used for the Arabic. I couldn’t see it. But it was a valid point and I told them I would fix it. Then as the video started up again, I started praying silently to myself. Please don’t let them change it Lord, please give me grace. Well I didn’t think my prayer would be answered but it was almost immediately. Suddenly the project inexplicably found favor and they stopped complaining. They actually really liked it finally. We only had to make one minor change and one major change in changing the font in Arabic. Because I can’t read Arabic, I did not notice the flaw. Apparently to fix it, the entire thing needs to get transcribed. OK..here’s where the part of God’s grace comes in. We have recently began an association with a professional translator who is quite efficient and affordable. He came in today and stayed until the job was finished. Now, we’ll have something to show the client on Thursday and hopefully they’ll sign off on it finally. We retranscriped and subtitled the entire thing in a half-day. That is remarkable especially when you consider it is a 23 minute show with wall to wall subtitles.

I had to run off to my next meeting to review project #1. The one that we finished last week. So I was there with the PR firm that hired us for this client. This is the client that called us at 4pm needing a re-edit by 7a the next day. So not my favorite already. So we wait for 30 min. then someone comes in and says the person that called the meeting got called into another meeting and can’t meet with us. Apparently this is pretty common too. I have to adjust to the business culture here. At least I can recognize the mistakes I’ve made so far. Hopefully there still is enough time to fix the problem. So that elusive light at the end of the tunnel is still out there…but it is just beyond my reach. But…I think everything on our end will be wrapped up by Thursday’s new deadline. We are hitting all our deadlines, but they just keep changing the projects. Wouldn’t you know it…Thursday’s deadline is Thursday Oct. 29, pretty much 6 weeks almost exactly when God told me the next six weeks would be difficult. Im almost there.

I have to get into the office early because client from project #3 is coming in for a final edit. We had to completely re-voice the script. That means I had to go in and subtitle each line. That is so tedious. But I got it done. This project is one of higher profile projects so Im working on it on my own. It really is quite fabulous. But the client kept rewriting, rewriting, rewriting, so its not as good as it once was…but it still is quality.

Khalifa reasons that each project that we complete is a five months project. So essentially we completed 3 – five months projects in the span of 7 months. Im very proud about that.

I talked about my kids and thanksgiving yesterday. Please pray for me and them so that they will have a change of heart. Your prayers for the restoration of my relationship with them is greatly appreciated. Prayers work.

textbook examples

It was an up and down day for me. It started out bad the night before. Now you remember that I didn’t let the outburst of my boss affect my joy and it didn’t. But I let something else do just that. Right before I went to bed I spoke with my Middle son. I love that kid. I tried to talk to my other two children (whom I also equally love) and they didn’t want to speak with me. Plus, I was informed that neither my oldest or youngest plan on spending thanksgiving with me when I come back to the states for 10 days. Now that hurts…bad. I know X will spin it like this is all my fault like she spins everything to be my fault and say this was their choice and she did not influence them whatsoever. If you believe that, I have some desert sand over here in Saudi Arabia I’d like to sell you. It’s a textbook case of parental alienation. X will probably even let them see this blog to prove that she is doing nothing to alienate the kids, but the proof is in the actions. I love my children and miss them very very much. I know they will come around soon. God has revealed this to me, like He has revealed so many other things. But still…this hurts. I know in X will make me the bad guy as she has perfected this manipulation and blame shifting to a science. But this is not about affixing blame at this point. I know the children still love me as I love them, there is no doubt about that. I know that our relationship will be restored someday there is no doubt about that. Rather this is another cautionary tale about the horrors of divorce. I feel called to share about all my inadequacies on a public forum not to be vengeful, but so people can learn and hopefully be inspired. I feel the fact that Im even positive and have so much hope is proof alone that God exists. Sam and Dave sang…”An ordinary man would have given it up by now.” Now I’m just an ordinary guy with an extraordinary God. So growing up, I was always told, I never know when to quit. I guess that is coming in handy about now finally.

I had lunch with my Pastor Graeme today. He was concerned about my positive living group and Joel Osteen. He did not know much about him but a few people in the church had very strong feelings against Osteen. So we had lunch and talked about it. For visual references I printed up two harsh emails that X sent me in the last month and told him about all the tough challenges I’ve had at work the past month. I said Graeme, I’ve lived through this period and am still more joyful and hopeful forever. I think that alone shows that this philosophy works. He took some material as samples and we’re going to talk about it next week. But whether or not I have the church’s endorsement, Im going to keep the group meeting every Monday. I had one of the girls pick out this week’s DVD. She chose, maintaining your joy in difficult times. It really spoke and affirmed to me what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong. I told the group how I responded in the right way to the verbal lashing from my boss…and the wrong way by dwelling in self-pity at the news of my children. While Joel focuses mainly on the positives, I counteract that with telling all the stories of negativity on my own life. I don’t feel like I psychologically dwell on the negativity. In fact, I make it an aggressive point not to dwell on it, whenever I do, I pray it away. But when I share about these hard times in my blog or in my group, I feel like I’m validating God’s purpose and plans for all of us. If I can make it through this heartache and disappointment then maybe other can to. I feel like Im called to make my life an example for others. That is why I’m so open about my pains, struggles, mistakes, failures, and successes. So I used tonight as an example of how I kept my joy early in the day and later lost it. It sure sparked some interesting discussion within the group.

I know that God is absolutely in control. Im not going to lose any peace or joy over this. I love my kids dearly. It just sucks that they have to go through this.

Handling conflict

It was really different day today emotionally for me. I think it was proof that Im living my life right, right now, even though things are difficult. I was so focused on finishing my projects. I keep mentioning that because at the same time I still have to focus on the day to day aspects of running the business. The frustrating thing about the first year here was the learning curve. The Arab business culture is just different. They are very demanding and very particular about the little things. So my problem is they keep making minor changes on edit 3, 4, 5, 6. Everytime we screen the supposed final product they find something else they want changed about it. If they would have made all the changes at once like they are supposed to, we would have been done with it. So these two big projects were supposed to be completed weeks ago, but because of the changes they’re still not done. The problem with this, is we can’t invoice until the projects are completed. That has put us in an extreme financial crunch. We have loads of money out there floating, but we just can’t access it yet. So we are very cash poor. So my supervisor, the managing director/part owner really laid into me today. Really yelled and vented on me. The funny thing is, it didn’t bother me. A lot of things he said were accurate but it was the tone that might have been disturbing to some. As I left his office I had this strange detachment thing happen. I was listening to Charles Stanley earlier on the way to work, and the topic was handling conflict. What he endorsed, and what I regularly practice is to listen and consider the backstory as to why the conflict might have occurred. So I did that. I didn’t get upset and I didn’t make the conflict worse.

As I left his office after the lashing I felt pretty good. It didn’t make sense, but I had an extreme peace. Then I went to lunch soon after that, and I had a skip in my step. I was feeling really good about life. But based on what had happened that day, I shouldn’t have been that peaceful. But I was feeling great. That’s the way life is supposed to work when you are living your life right. God won’t eliminate your problems but you can have peace when you are in the midst of a storm. That’s what I have learned about all the struggles I’ve faced this year. It’s a cool in the furnace life. Oh…when I came back into the office, my boss called me into the office and apologized for the outburst. So I guess it was good that I was quiet and didn’t exacerbate the problem.

We had quiz night again tonight…but our team is in an extreme slump. We won one round last week but nothing this week. We didn’t even come close. I’m going to cut this short tonight. Im still at the very beginning of a very long week. Please keep me in your prayers. They are certainly working.

1/4" reel to reel

Today was a whole lot easier than I thought it would be. Which hopefully is a good omen. I’m hoping this week will be a whole lot easier than I anticipate. October is almost over….Yay!!!!! I had a conversation with God today (boy I know how strange that must sound, but we really do have conversations). He let me know that the worst of the six weeks is over whew… So today I got up to do the new voice over for project #3. We went into a very old but workable studio. They recorded the session on ¼” reel to reel. Are you serious? Yes..I am serious. It felt like I was in the 1960’s. The VO guy was great. I was following along the script in Arabic, and remember I don’t speak, read or write it. But I could tell when he was making mistakes and cut in, and it turns out I was right. Im learning so much about communication. Words are not that important when you communicate. Being over here is really helping hone my listening skills. So we got the project done in half the time that I anticipated. So I promptly came home and took a nap. Russ cancelled our weekly racquetball game so I had extra time to go kayaking before the edit session for project #2 at 4. Where I throw the kayak in the water is always an adventure. If it is High tide, I back my mini SUV to the water and throw the kayak in the water in one smooth motion. If it is low tide, I have to traipse the kayak out about 300 feet or so. When you are carrying a kayak that is pretty heavy that 300 feet does make a difference. High tide makes me happy…low tide makes me depressed. There is a lot of garbage on this makeshift beach. I drove around and found a spot where I can throw the kayak in the water from about 15 feet even at low tide. The problem is I have to traverse down some treacherous rocks to go those 15 feet. But I managed. The water was extremely calm today. It makes me feel more fit as I can go almost twice as fast time wise when the water is like glass. My kayak actually leaves a small little wake. There are these fish that skip across the water like you would skip a stone, that’s always cool to see. Its also cool to watch a sea gull swoop down into the water and nail a fish. The weather was warm today about 90. The water is getting cooler slowly. Its now about 84 degrees…still pretty amazing for ocean water. But I think I can kayak for awhile since I don’t really get all that wet. Its such great exercise, physical and spiritual.

I got done and made it into the office by 4 for our edit session. I was really worried because I thought we were failing. The clients, I thought were being so particular about their Arabic. That’s why we had to keep changing it. But Reji helped me figure out the problem. The original script was translated by an Egyptian/Saudi and was adapted by a Lebanese/Austrian. It turns out the Arabic is like phonetics and there are different dialects. The clients were wanting to edit to the Bahraini dialect, so no wonder there were so many changes. It was like it was in a different language. This is one of those things that I’m learning from all of this. Next time around everything will go much smoother. I’m very good at learning from my mistakes. So they had lots of changes and we made them right on the spot. About three hours later it was clear they were getting antsy and one by one they all left. So we made the last minute changes and they are coming over for a last minute review tomorrow. Hopefully its done and dusted.

So that means I really have one more project to finish, (project #3) then I’ll be all caught up. The problem is, I have only two days to get the project done. But im pretty confident that I can do it. I work so much better when its one project at a time.

Seriously...go back to sleep

I really needed this day. I woke up early and got ready to go to church. Now I wasn’t that sleepy, but I really heard God’s voice tell me to go back to sleep. I know that sounds crazy. But I heard it quite clearly over and over again. But I tried to ignore it. So I got in the shower and got ready to go. Then I heard the voice again, to go back to sleep. I know this sounds crazy because if you are a Christian, you are supposed to go church. We go on Fridays, the first day of the weekend here. So finally I heard the voice again, Go back to sleep. Then I realized why. I set my computer clock to West Coast PST time. We are about 10 hours ahead here. So I always subtract two hours and I know what time it is here. Well every once in awhile I forget that my clock is set this way. So as I walking out the door, I grabbed my cell phone. It wasn’t 9:30 a half hour before church. It was 7:30 am…2.5 hours before church. No wonder the voice was telling me to go back to sleep. So I did just that. My alarm went off at 9:00 the right time, and I was about to get up up, when I heard the voice again. Go to sleep. So I argued with it. I can’t go to sleep. It’s a commandment, Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy. Then that voice told me very clearly, you can keep the Sabbath Holy, and not go to church this time. So that’s what I did. I went back to sleep. I had such a stressful week, I think that God wanted me to get all the rest I needed in order to stay healthy. Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day for work for me as well. I have to get up early and re-record a VO session, then in the Afternoon, the clients are going to come by the office to do the final approval on the video #2. That means I have three days to edit video #3, and I’ve been doing this myself all along, so I can’t delegate it out to my staff. I have to stay very focused this week as it will be a long one. So I think that is what this morning was about, rest and preparation. So I did have a great communion with God all morning. But wouldn’t you know it, my pastor, Graeme, emailed me and told me he missed seeing me at church. It’s a church of 500 people, how did I not slip by him. So its kind of funny if you think about it. I am supposed to go to lunch on Monday with him. My small group is listed in the church bulletin and thus endorsed by the church. But the elder I answer to, is not a Joel Osteen fan at all. In fact he is quite a critic as many people are. So the Pastor asked me to bring some material from Lakewood so he can make his determination. It’s a shame really, here Osteen is doing really great work, but most of critics come from within the church. My life was dramatically affected in a positive way by his philosophies…they work and they are biblical. I think Im the poster child for the power of positive thinking and giving it up to God. I’ve had so many come and go from my group, both Christians and Non-Christians. They have all been encouraged and enlightened. Who knows what seeds were planted. But I’ve been witness to several people that have come to my small group that have turned their lives closer to God. So I know its working. Plus I have designed my group not for the church people. I want the seekers. We only have one person that comes to my group from the church, so if they don’t want to endorse me that wouldn’t be the end of the world. I’d still meet with my group every week with or without them. But obviously I hope its with them. But my calling from God isn’t dependent on them.

So I slept a lot today preparing for the week. Went on a really long kayak ride across the bay. It was nice as the water was calm. Then I had to rush off to judge a comedy competition. Imran, one of my better comics from the Funniest Person competition is trying to establish Stand up comedy here. So he is helping me and I am helping him. I had my friend John, who also judges the Funniest Person as my co-judge. Most of the acts were pretty funny. But then at the end it got a little testy. Apparently some of the Saudis in the back took exception to some of the material that was being directed at them. It was really harmless stuff but because it was coming from an Indian…it didn’t go over so well. They started to create a scene that took away from the contest. Still there were some great acts. We were supposed to select 3 out of 9 to move on to the main show next week. Im proud to say that 2 of the 3 were performers from my Funniest Person contest. Imran wanted me up on stage for a few words. So I took the mic, and said there’s only one thing I would have done different…More Saudi jokes. Imran put his head in his hands (politically) and I got a great reaction from the crowd…but not the offended Saudis in the audience. Its comedy…its all fun and games and everyone takes a dig at each other.

At the after party many of the contestants who are also a part of either my acting classes or the competition, thanked me for helping them have the courage to get up there to perform…I was quite proud.

Light at the end of the tunnel

Well…I think last night was the turning point for me. I mean that the laughter is the best medicine part. I’ve had so many people all throughout the day approach me and congratulate me on what a great show it was last night. They just rave and rave. It really feels good. So I feel partially like a proud papa and partially like a very good director. As I was coaching them the night before It hit me…I am a great director. Its important that I say that because as an artist I sometimes doubt myself. With the instability at work this past month I’ve been doubting myself a lot. The cast wanted me to give them more criticism so they could hone their craft. So during the walk through for the show, I did give them a lot of pointers, tips, and tricks. They all responded to them really well. I told them which technique worked and which technique they were having troubles with. They really do trust me. What is amazing is the comments I got about the people that a few weeks ago were not very funny. They were all so positive and complimentary. They really adapted well and are learning to be funny. They are taking heed…its not the one-liners that make you funny, its your character’s expressions and body language. Its hard to come up with some zinger one-liners but Will, the 16 year old is masterful at that. We have a bona fide hit on our hands now. I hope I can negotiate a favorable deal with Bahrain TV.

So I got into work today still on a high from that…or was it because I didn’t get much sleep? Its one of the two. But for the first time in weeks I had a nice slow paced day. We are almost finished on Project #2. The clients are coming on Saturday for the final review. So there is certainly a light at the end of the tunnel on that one. As for project #3, they are still making changes, but I can’t do anything about that yet. We re-re-record the voice over on Saturday and have to finish the project by Monday. So there is little for me to do on that one until Saturday. So I feel like it’s a little calm before the storm. Then on Tuesday we have another meeting on a project that is already finished. I have a hunch they’ll want a slew of changes and I’ll just have to stand up to them this time. Im finding the clients over here push and push and are incredibly difficult to deal with especially when you compare them to the customers Im used to in the U.S.

So I just felt much more calm today. The funk really is coming to an end. There are still as many unanswered questions and problems as there were four weeks ao, but Im totally content that God will see me through, so why worry? What good will that do me. I think it will slowly dissipate over the course of the next 9 days or so.

I played squash with Darren again tonight. He invited me out with his friends to Upstairs Downstairs This is a restaurant that is one of the nicest in Bahrain. The crowd was a bit older than me by 5-10 years. But we all got along so well. It was they typical classy night out for dinner and drinks. I felt very well connected. But still alone. I long for that intimate (not necessarily sexual) relationship again. The kind where your heart aches when your are away from that person for more than a day. That used to be me…and I’m looking forward to it being me again soon.

The funniest respite from the pressure

Laughter is the best medicine, some say. I guess Im living proof of that. I have gone over and over this past week the heaviness that has fallen upon me. Now that is so contrary to my character, its hard to take. The pressures at work of having to use my left brain (analytical) far more than my right brain (creative). Im much happier and fulfilled when I can be completely creative. But having to bring a company out of the financial mess we’re in is proving to be quite daunting. Now part of this mess was my fault because of not hiring the right people and not preparing for the dry months of summer I was warned about. I know we’ll pull out, but its just getting there that is the hard part. So I took a break from all the pressure tonight with round 4 of the Funniest Person in Bahrain.

I think everyone will agree that this was the best Funniest Person night so far. The comedians were on, and I gave them plenty of scenarios in which to shine. Im very proud of them. The energy from the crowd was electric. This is in such a contrast to the last performance two weeks ago. The crowd was down and thus the energy was down as well with the performers. This time I encouraged the performers to provide their own energy even if the crowd wasn’t there. It worked. Laughter and energy are contagious. The actors fed off the crowd which made them better performers which made them funnier which the crowd laughed more providing even more energy. It was cyclical, quite organic the way it worked. I was especially proud of Aila, Mrs. Finland. Aila is very soft-spoken and didn’t want to do the competition because she didn’t think she was funny and that she thinks she struggles with her English. But Aila brings an attitude and body language that Im trying to get the other performers to adapt to. She is a great example to the others. Then there is Will. Will is from the UK and absolutely hilarious. He’s really great at one-liners. The amazing thing about him, he’s only 16 years old. Here this kid is up performing with all these grown ups and not only holding his own, but outshining most of them. But the person that won tonight, really won hands down. I was hoping the judges would see it that way too. Ali, is a young comic at just 22-23 I think. He was awesome tonight and the rest of the cast thought so too. While this is a competition, the contestants don’t see it that way. They all root and pull for each other. We are becoming quite close. The thing that brings us together, is that we all know we are doing something revolutionary for Bahrain. There is a great sense of pride in that. They are all taking ownership of it. I feel great after a show like this. Because its my job as producer/director/MC to put our performers in positions where they can excel. So If I’ve done my job right, Im teaching and training them well. So when the do well, like tonight, I feel like a proud father. I grab the mic as MC, but Im not very funny, but I do try to keep the show moving.

I was better at work today. I really can’t get moving on these deadlines, as I have to wait for others to respond first. So Im waiting and the storm is going to hit, and its going to hit hard. So this Saturday we have a huge day, then I have to cut the show together in two days. Im glad there is a firm deadline attached, otherwise Im afraid the clients would make changes for months. Well…Its 12:45, and Im still jazzed…but I better cut it short and head to bed. I appreciate your prayers. Please keep them coming. I was listening to a sermon today about the difference prayers make. So please keep your prayers coming. I feel like Im still under attack. But tonight was a nice respite.

Exhaustion

Whew…what a tough day. The pressure is so thick at the office you can really feel it. Or maybe I can just feel it. It is suffocating. There is so much pressure to get work in, but then I have to finish the work we do have. I have to finish, and have it approved before I can access the funds. Im finding it much harder to get that process done over here. I had two meetings today to hopefully get the two big projects Im working on signed off so we can get the cash in. But the one meeting was postponed for another week. Then the big meeting didn’t go as well as I had planned either. They are caught up with the minute details. They wanted a lot of little things changed. Overall they were happy with the project. But then one person chimed in at the end questioning the philosophy of the main aspect of the project. I held my breath, because if he would have gotten his wish, we’re talking major major changes. But they all realized that they are up against a real deadline. There is a very real deadline of the opening ceremony on Nov. 11 where the Prime Minister will be honored with this video. So we don’t have a lot of time. We had major problems with the Arabic translation with this video. That is really frustrating since it is out of my hands. I have to rely upon others for this, and the people that I relied on totally fumbled it. So we have so many tweaks, I suggested that everyone come in on Saturday to our offices to finish and approve the project once and for all. They all agreed to that. Then…on project #3 that needs to get done we had a bunch of issues. I know I have been talking about these three projects forever and that is the problem. They just aren’t getting approved. Everyone wants to see all these minor changes put in. Everytime they review minor changes magically appear. If we didn’t have this deadline I question if we’d ever be able to finish it. Project #3 has gone through 8 rewrites, and 5 edits, plus an English version created. Each time we have to change it because another executive has viewed it and wants it to go in a different direction. So essentially this project has 5 directors on it. It can get quite exhausting. So today I got a revised script, and we have to come up with yet another almost completely different version in four days. I have to translate the script to Arabic, record a new narration, re-cut the project and do this in the span of four days while trying to juggle all the other stuff. Then I get back into the office completely emotionally and mentally exhausted and my boss rips into me because I haven’t been out on sales calls bringing in more money. I can’t even muster an excuse because he doesn’t want to hear any excuses. I just want to say there is only so much one person can do. Im doing an awful lot as it is. So I redo a sales proposal with Raimond that had to get done and several other things around the office. I feel like the guy that is spinning all the plates. So I had to rush out of the office at 6:30 to get to the practice session for the Funniest Person in Bahrain. I had nearly the entire cast there tonight and it felt great. It is an improv competition but I do like to go over the games and scenarios briefly so they know what is coming. Tonight I felt like a very good director/teacher. My job is to get the maximum performance out of them. We all really like each other and are pulling for each other to be funny. We really entertained ourselves with some of the practice sessions. Im so glad the rest of the group really has taken ownership of their role. Now remember this is strictly voluntary for them as they are performing for free. But they are so dedicated.

OK..that’s the tough part of my day out of the way. The good part is that God is telling me over and over and over….in so many ways, for me not to worry. Worry is a sin, so I am really fighting against that. My faith and resolve is sorely being tested and the Lord knows that. For that reason he is continuing to use avenues to encourage me. Im pretty transparent in this blog as you all know. I do that to show that Im real. And that when God delivers me out of these predicaments you can be encouraged that He’ll deliver you out of whatever mess you are in. God is faithful.

Attitude readjustment

Nice day today. Lots and lots of pressure at the office, but I have so much more peace today. Did anything happen to make that peace a reality? No, in fact things got worse. Instead I had an attitude adjustment. Im just looking at things through my Christ-shaded rose colored glasses again. Im trying to look at things with a new perspective. God has seen me through so many things before, Im sure he’ll see me through this now. All things work together for good.

I got the day started with a great breakfast with Raimond, Tanya’s husband. I was partially able to convince Nader to bring Raimond on board as a consultant with us. We are in such a cash flow crisis, I volunteered to give up some of my salary to help offset the costs. I am not saying that to bring praise to myself, rather to show you how dire the situation is, and how desperate times call for desperate measures. The reason why I think Raimond is so good for the company is because he really excels at the things Im poor at, primarily with organizational business management skills. Raimond is so detailed, its almost like he is a computer. He really is a great and brilliant man. He and Tanya make a very impressive couple. Maybe that’s why I enjoy their children so much. Raimond is coming on board as a consultant for one month. I sure hope we generate enough revenue to keep him on full time and that he finds the job satisfying and challenging enough. He’s that valuable. I would love for someone to be able to handle the business side so I can focus on my true gifting and that is telling stories and making movies. While Im good at the sales/business side, Im not exceptional. I realize that about myself. Like Dirty Harry said in The Enforcer, I think. “A man’s got to know his limitations.” I know mine and that is why I try to compensate for them. Raimond would sure help in that area.

So I had so many things to do all at once this morning. I knew I’d be so busy that I didn’t even bother to stay up to watch the Raider game (from 11p-3a my time) and wouldn’t you know it….they won. Just as soon as I give up on them…they shock the world and win. So we had to get the one documentary done for our 12:30 meeting tomorrow and wouldn’t you know it, another client called and scheduled a review of the project we did last week for 10:30 am that same day. We had another important meeting set for 4 today but that got cancelled. Its hard trying to juggle all these production responsibilities and have the pressure of bringing more money into the company at the same time. I really have to trust God on this one that He will supply all my needs. That also includes the needs of my company as well. I feel a great deal of responsibility to make sure that KSDi is a success. Im pretty much willing to do whatever is in my means to make that happen. Im a pretty dedicated employee.

So we had the entire staff it seems working on hitting this deadline. There is a lot of excitement, a great sense of productive energy. We were operating as a team, and I love when that happens. We all get a long so well. There was conflict in the office when I first arrived, but now I think we’ve fixed all the personality issues. We are an efficient well-oiled machine. That was part two of my quest for the company, now I have to focus back on part one to make the company money.

I got my part of the video done (the executive review) done just in time at 6:00. Im not a very detailed oriented person, but when it comes to video, I’m like Rain Man. If its one frame off (1/30 of a second) I can usually tell. So I found a few problems and instructed the guys to fix them. I had to rush off while the guys fixed it because it was positive living group tonight at my flat. I wasn’t sure how many people would show up so its always a guessing game for how much food I should buy. We had 9 people show up tonight, all girls and about 5 of them were new. Im encouraged because people are starting to invite their friends and the group is growing organically with little effort on my part. Its all the Holy Spirit working. I like that. I am planting seeds, and its really not my doing at all. Im just trying to be my part as a vessel.

Wake me up when October ends

Wow it was a really tough day. I can’t wait for October to be over. It seems like its hitting me from all sides now. I know this is a season of testing for me. I must be a slow learner because it seems like the season has dragged on and on and on. There are certainly some good points out there but its hard to see the good through the muck. So Im sure in a couple of days I’ll bounce back and be just fine. I am nearing a year’s completion here at KSDi. While we’ve accomplished a great many things, the cash flow issue is very troubling. That’s my bottom line responsibility as a General Manager. I have to make the company money. Its hard to maintain a positive cash flow when you’ve had very little productivity from your sales department, you’re in the midst of a recession and you’re learning that business culture here is much different that that in the West. It has been a real learning experience for me and I’ve grown in so many ways. Have I accomplished what I set out to accomplish? Not yet I don’t think. Im not really sure what to think of the plans that God has called me for long term. For now, I think Im supposed to be here. They are covering the Book of Acts at Cornerstone, my church in California. I download the podcasts so it feels like Im still there. In the book of Acts it is all about the Holy Spirit guiding the apostles where to go and when. Often times the apostles didn’t get the whole story. They were just expected to go by faith and then God would fill in the details when they got there. It was teaching them to live by faith and not by sight. You have to be really in tune to the voice of God to obey him like that, because its scary sometimes. I believe I am in tune with the voice of God as I’ve illustrated here a few times. Why do I talk about it so much? Because I think, rather I know its God’s will for all of His children to be in tune with his voice. God wants to speak to all of us. I think Im supposed to help others to recognize and listen to God’s voice. Stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something opposite to what you are used to is daunting. I feel like I came here that same way. I didn’t have all the information but I knew that I knew that I knew that I was called to be here. How long will that calling last? Im not really sure. But I know that whatever the calling that God has for me, whether that be here or somewhere else, by previous history, he will be faithful to me.

I was so productive this morning and into the afternoon. I was a buzz of activity but then by three I just hit the wall. I am emotionally drained and its hard to keep my head up above the optimistic line. I am an eternal optimist, but right now, Im just plain discouraged. I know this season will pass…hopefully soon. I guess one of the things that is bothering me is that I haven’t been able to find and hire an effective salesman. We have got our product and marketing material to a great level, we now just need more clients. If I had a dynamic salesperson, we’d be home free because we do have a great product. Im hoping our cast of characters we have in place now will do the job. The last salesman I hired, I really believed in him. I believed in him so much in fact that I offered to pay his salary. I stuck my neck out for him because everyone else was telling me he was too young. But then when he left not even two weeks into his tenure, that made me look bad. It also made all my hires look bad as well. I guess hiring the right people isn’t really a strength of mine. I have to rely upon others for that.

Tonight Im headed to a meeting to chart out how we are going teach the teens in our church. Then its off to Quiz night. I guess I am recruiting a little too well. We are having such a good time, that two of my members have decided to start their own spin-off teams. That kind of bugs me. But that’s life. So say a prayer for me if you can.

UPDATE: My meeting about the teens got cancelled, so I came home for a bit and just communed with God. I had a long talk with Him…rather He with me. I feel much better now. Things are going to be all right and I will weather this storm. There are big things up ahead…my job is just to keep the faith. Thank you for your prayers and support, Im in round 11 of a 12 round battle and Im ahead on all the judges scorecards and I just have to make it through to the last round.

Aggressive Relaxation

(Im having internet problems, couldn't post yesterday...sorry)
I had a very nice and relaxing day today. It was almost like I was aggressively pursuing the relaxation. I know next week is going to be very very busy, so I wanted to make sure I was well prepared for it. I got to bed somewhat early and was able to sleep in. I met Russ for racquetball on the Navy Base at 11, that was good exercise. Then I came back and took a nap. My internet connection is off, so sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t work. It’s a little bit frustrating. So I don’t even know if Im going to be able to post this blog tonight. I woke up at 4, just in time for a sunset Kayak ride. The water wasn’t as calm today, but still its great exercise. There is just something incredibly therapeutic about the monotony and rhythm of paddling out there. I never see any other kayakers, only jet skis and yachts on the weekend. But during the week there is nothing. Today I had to dodge a big yacht that was converging in on my path. I think he was steering towards me, for me to make a move to avoid him. Its harder for me to alter my course than him, but he’s a lot bigger so I stopped. Still it was kind of annoying. I came back to the flat and took yet another nap. So that’s two exercise routines, and two naps in one day. I was tempted to do some work, but I blew it off. Im supposed to do a slew of re-edits on a project. I mentioned this before. This is the 5th re-edit for this client. Apparently the higher ups have just now gotten around to seeing it now that we are butted up against our deadline. I told the client we’d need more money for the re-edit, the client said they didn’t have any more in their fund. So we’re at a quandary. I spoke to my supervisor and he emphatically told me, if they don’t have the money for the re-edit…sorry here’s the last edit and don’t do anything else to fix it. I guess this is something I need to learn about how business is conducted here. Many people wait to the last minute and have unrealistic expectations on delivery. They are used to having it they way they want it, when they want it. Now its natural for a client to feel that way, especially when they are paying for it. But there has to be some reasonable guidelines and achievable goals and deadlines. Waiting to the last minute to request changes because you haven’t gotten around to reviewing the project is not a valid excuse. Im glad my supervisor empowered me to stand up to them, because I absolutely agree with that stance. Next time I’ll have to be more up front and emphatic about the guidelines. Each client gets two re-edits, and all subsequent edits are charged.

So this week I have two big projects with Thursday deadlines for completion. I had earlier deadlines on these but the clients want so many more changes. Its like its change for change sake almost. The first time through we had it pretty close. Its only 8:20 right now, and Im so anxious to go to sleep to start the new week. Even though its going to be tough, I feel very energized by all of it. Please keep me in your prayers, the next couple of weeks are going to be very important.

"Being Petty" and I don't mean Richard

I’ve been thinking about this blog post for two days as I didn’t want to react impulsively. Even now, I might write the post and then delete it as I’ve done numerous times before. I have nearly been in Bahrain one year now. I remember very clearly on my flight over here Oct. 21, of last year God spoke very clearly to me. He said while you are in Bahrain I want you to start a church and I want you to write your book. I started arguing with God, much like Moses did. How am I going to start a church when I don’t know anyone, and who would ever want to read my book, my story? He very clearly told me leave all the details to Me. I believe that the church is my small group on Monday nights, while this blog has taken the form of a book. Will it ever find a publisher if I decide to compile it? I don’t know. Would people want to read it? Well, I do have you reading this, and for that Im grateful. Im not really sure why your read but from tracking the statistics the blog has now gone all over the world. I say all this because I take the content of this blog very seriously. Most of the time I feel led by the Holy Spirit when writing it, as I feel led by writing this tonight. The blog is part cultural education with stories of Arabs and their lifestyle, part biography with my life interacting in a different world, and part testimonial with my walk through the pain and healing of divorce. Is it beneficial? Well, I’ve had quite a few people read and tell me that there marriage was also stormy and after reading this blog they were going to tough it out. They didn’t like the alternative with the picture I was painting from my own life. So If I can help save just one marriage, I think it will have all been worth it. Plus, by writing this blog, I don’t have my mother hassling me about never calling because she can keeps tabs on me through this blog.

There that is the set up. As I’ve mentioned before, it has been a very difficult past couple of weeks as God had forewarned me. I also haven’t made it easy on myself. Im out of routine with my devotional walk and haven’t prayed and fasted like God had instructed me to do. Whenever there have been storms in my life in the past, I’ve been able to maintain peace and joy because of my intimacy with God. But I’ve really struggled in this aspect for the past few weeks and the spiritual attacks from the enemy are certainly part of what God had warned me about. Two days ago, I got this incredibly painful and hurtful email from X. The issue was the date my child support payment goes into her bank account. I pay electronically and haven’t missed a payment since we became divorced almost three years ago now. She wanted me to have the money into her bank account on the 1st (which Im legally obligated to do according to the divorce decree). The way the payment works, is its taken out of my account on the 5th and usually goes into her account on the 15th. Its been like this for two years, now she wants it changed. I tersely replied via email I pay a month in advance so please consider the payment two weeks early rather than two weeks late. Again, this has been taken out of my account on the same date for the last two years. I consider this issue to be petty, but like most conflicts X has turned this molehill into a mountain. This is the response I got from X.


You are wrong. You are not ahead, and never have been. I let you know over a year ago that your payments were behind, and you have never done anything about it. I will email the hospital statement later today. How dare you challenge their legitimacy. I guess because you are dishonest in your income reporting it would be natural for you to question others. You are pathetic. Of course, you haven't been all that concerned with knowing what she has been going through anyway. And you call yourself a great dad. You are nothing but a self-centered, self-consumed narcisstic liar.


When I first read that email, I laughed and forwarded it to my family. Its just so extreme its hard to believe. While I do have my faults, very few people in my life think Im a bad guy. At least not to this level. I have mentioned before that it seemed like every three weeks there is some sort of conflict that is instigated by X, even with me being half way around the world. This happens like clockwork. So about a month back I was wondering if this sort of thing was common. It turns out it is. There is this thing called Drama Addiction. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/what-recovery/60777-drama-addiction.html

Now, I normally don’t respond to these sorts of instigations from X as any response I make usually makes the issue 10 times worse. Even by writing about this, like this, Im sure there are going to attempts at repercussions from her. But still I felt like I should write about this as yet another warning to others out there, if you are thinking about getting a divorce…please consider any alternative. Its just too painful and too devastating. This drama thing, its almost as if the tinder is being gathered by X with plenty of lighter fluid dousing the wood, but I need to provide the spark and then it become an inferno. As she’s reading this Im sure she’s blowing up right now. But why does she read this? We’re divorced, she shouldn’t care about me anymore and what I think. Now reading this email from her hurt as I dwelt on it, because I still care about her and the children and in certain ways will always care about her. The Bible says pray for those who persecute you. So because of that, I pray for her and her husband more than anyone else in the world. It was hard at first, but it has become easier almost routine now. Its hard to resent, dislike, or hate a person if you are praying for them regularly. The point I want to get across is that I did not want this divorce. I fought with everything in me to save the marriage. I prayed and prayed and prayed. But for some reason God chose not to answer my fervent prayers, but instead he gave me the strength to be able to handle his answer. So x sought and got the divorce, and got the children, and got remarried, and started a new life…so where does all the hate come from? Divorce is a big lie. You think you’ll be happy once you get to the other side, but I don’t believe that to be true. Now God is a God of incredible grace and he forgives all our sins if we confess and acknowledge those sins. But there are consequences to our sin. God has forgiven me for my pornography addiction, but perhaps losing my marriage was a consequence of that sin. Some people think that pornography (If a man looks on a woman with lust in his heart, he has committed adultery) is grounds for divorce while others do not. That isn’t up to me decide/judge anymore. But God has given me extreme grace like Im sure he has given X and anyone who seeks him for it. So God has blessed me with an amazing career, amazing children, good friends, and a bright future. Pretty much all my dreams are coming true with the exception of having a family again. Im lonely and long to have someone in my life to love again. I know it will happen in God’s timing. Certain days I feel strong, and certain days, like when I read this email, not so much. Not because its from X has hurt me, because I try not to let her hurt me anymore. Im bothered because of the vitriol in this letter. She has this attitude and plays such an influential role in the lives of my children while I do not. That really sucks.

So please take this particular blog entry for what I intended it to be. It’s not a bash X session, instead its warning to the extreme consequences of divorce. As justified as I am in my mind that Im right, X is as equally justified that she’s right, only God will be the judge. Unless there is abuse or repeated unrepentant infidelity, there are no excuses for divorce. So if you’re married please take the time hug your spouse, tell them how special they are and how much they mean to you. The alternatives, simply aren’t worth it.

Edits, re-edits, re-re-edits, and re-re-re-edits

It was a different day for me. I think partially it was because I was at the office til 3:30 am with the guys. But we did get the project done. I gave them all the day off today which im sure they appreciated. I slept in a bit, and didn’t come into the office til 10:00. I had my important meeting at 12:30 and needed to prepare just a bit for it.

I had the meeting and it was actually better than the first. They liked the content. But there were still a lot of minor changes to be done. Now sometimes with these projects the more changes you make, the more changes they want you to make. It can be a never ending cycle. Its quite frustrating, especially when you consider the first version you gave them is the best. What was frustrating for me. We are now on the third or fourth edit on these projects and people are just now getting around to giving their comments, which are quite substantial. If only they would have given the comments at their deadline when they were supposed to, we could have made all the changes at once. But from what Im finding when talking to my other creative friends here, that is par for the course. So instead of getting frustrated by it, I have to learn to anticipate it a little more. There were seven people in the meeting today and I had seven different opinions and notes on the project. But they know they have a Tuesday deadline to have everything completed. Im happy about that. But on project #3 the main guy just got around to giving his notes and they are substantial, so I think I’ll be working all weekend on that project. Its so good that I enjoy what I do, otherwise I would be very frustrated. When I got back to the office, I had a great chat with our new sales/marketing guy Darin. He is really sharp and my age too. Im going ot enjoy working with him.

I was happy today because Tariq and Muneer two of my very good friends wanted to get together to go over some potential sketches for our Funniest Person contest. Really it was their prompting that started most of this. We were having dinner together about six months ago and Tariq and Muneer heard I was planning an improv night and they wanted in. They have been my biggest supporters since then. So we brainstormed today, watched some tv shows about improv comedy for inspiration and then just put our heads together to figure out what would work. Im so happy that the guys are taking a big interest in making this a hit. They aren’t getting paid any money, they are just doing it for the love of acting. Im honored to be working along side of them. Tariq bought the pizza so that was an added bonus.

What a long day it was. Im going to cut this short, because im exhausted. More tomorrow.

Another All nighter

I am sitting in the edit bay with Saji my brilliant editor. It’s a little frustrating as Im used to doing the editing myself. So I have to verbalize what I need done. Saji doesn’t speak a lot of English, but he understands it well. I think we both respect each other as editors. Manoj was first working on the project but Saji is much faster. So I had to ask Manoj to relinquish the editing chair to Saji. That was a little hard, but we are up against it and need speed. We’ve been cooking ever since. Its 9:30 pm and I don’t think we’ll get done for another couple of hours. Wow what a long week. What feels good is telling Saji to make several changes and then being able to walk away knowing that he’ll get the job done. I’ve had to be so focused today. We have to have the video done by my meeting with the Ministry of Works by 12:00. Then I have my other big client coming it at 3:00. So while Saji was editing away on that project, I was finishing project #2 and all their changes. It seems like with everyone that sees a project wants it changed just a little bit. Psychologically, if they make a minor change they can take ownership over it. Like, I was responsible for this little part. By taking ownership of the little part, they convince themselves they are responsible for the whole part. Its human nature I think. Success has many fathers, but failure is an orphan. Thus when I go into a meeting with 8 people around the conference room, I know I’ll get 8 different opinions. It’s the nature of what I do.

So even though I’ve had these time crunches. It’s been a great day. I enjoy being at the office even. The only thing I really regret is that I’ve been working so many hours that I haven’t had a chance to exercise that much. I had a little disappointment today. The young kid I wanted to hire for my sales position, wasn’t able to come on board. We were all disappointed. His old company is holding his Visa and not letting him out of it. He can’t just leave because he is afraid his father, who also works at his former company might have some adversity come upon him for retribution for his son leaving the company. That is pretty standard out here. Companies don’t pay very much but they strongly discourage people moving to better opportunities. They do this through pressure and intimidation. I often talk about how great I think this country is, but it has its share of black eyes like most any place does.

I just gave Saji an instruction to cut -2 d.b. off the music soundtrack. That sounds very technical and it is. I like being a director. I like being a General Manger. It seems like my whole life I’ve tried to delegate to get out of work. Now Im actually getting paid for it. What started out as laziness has turned into a job qualification. How cool is that? Im a good delegator. But I have to stay on top of my staff. While the cat is away the mice will play is almost written in the employee manual here. At least it is figuratively. Khalifa and I have long talks about how to handle the staff. Many of the employees are very loyal to him. Ahmad the driver has been with Khalifa for more than 25 years. What is amazing about that, is that Ahmad is one of our lowest paid employees but the most loyal. When Khalifa was sick in the hospital and I went to visit, it was Ahmad by his side. The loyalty is really quite beautiful if you think about it. Most of the employees have been with Khalifa for over 5 years. I really like this about this company. It really is like a family. I have grown especially close to many of the employees here since I don’t have my own family out here with me. Well its almost 10 and we have some more work to do. So I better get to it.

By the way, we just passed over 15,000 hits on this blog since I started tracking in January. Im quite humbled and proud at the same time. I’m always open to comments/suggestions/advice so feel free to leave a comment or email me directly. I actually thrive off constructive criticism as it helps me improve as a person. We just finished the picture re-re-re-re-edit now Saji has to do a music mix and color correction. Almost there. My perfect deadline record is going to stay in tact. But we are pushing it.

KSDi, the new Dunder Mifflin

All in all it was a pretty good day. I have all these looming deadlines. We did one yesterday, and I have two coming up on Thursday. These are all big projects. The sooner we get these done, the sooner we can invoice and get the cash flow flowing again. Im optimistic. Its nice that I have a team of good people around me and we are starting to be very efficient. I know if I can delegate a job off to my graphics or editors that the job will come back well done. Its hard to keep track of three different projects at once. One is in Arabic only, the other is in English with Arabic Subtitles and the third is in Arabic with English subtitles. In having to make changes on each one individually, I have to remember which project is which as they are all running together in my head. Now that the one project is out of the way Im focusing on the other two. I do my best work when I only have to do one thing at a time. Im so not a multi-tasker. That’s a challenge too when you have A.D.D.

I got a call today from a new friend. He’s a bigtime South African Bollywood Producer. They honored his company and his father at Cannes a few months back. He did invite me to his wedding. What an invitation. But I couldn’t justify flying down to South Africa at the time. Though I do want to visit there. We got introduced to each other through a mutual friend. He’s flying up to Dubai in November and he wants to get together to talk about some potential projects. He’s a really nice guy. I like his spirit and he likes mine. It will be interesting to see what comes of it.

So I have kind of an embarrassing thing to admit. I get addicted to TV series. LOST, turned into HEROES, turned into PRISON BREAK and now THE OFFICE. I often catch myself laughing outloud, when Im by myself. When I laugh out loud at home, that’s embarrassing. Then I look around and wonder why am I embarrassed when there is no one around. But when I laugh out loud by myself in restaurant when I watch it on my computer…then yes, that’s really embarrassing. But my confession is…the more I watch the show, the more I can relate to Michael Scott. Well…he did soften up later in the series. I know that is a sad sad admission. But Im usually cheerleader in my office and my co-workers respond well to that. But for the past few weeks there has been so much pressure with the deadlines I haven’t been the happy go lucky type. Maybe Im just telling myself…just make it through til the end of October. I certainly hope Im not doing a self-fulfilling prophecy thing.

I know this is kind of pathetic but the restaurants I frequent all know me by first name now. Or actually they call me Mr. Beeman. I’ve got to eat lunch at Hardees every day this week. Its walking distance right around the corner from my office. At Fuddruckers I think I have this friendship with the manager. He keeps calling me. (I place phone orders that’s how he got my number.) So he’s done with season one of Prison Break and now he wants season two . He keeps calling and calling about it. So he wanted to know what time I would come into the restaurant last week, and said Tuesday. “Give me a Hamburger today and I’ll gladly pay you on Tuesday.” These people all seem so excited to see me when I walk into their restaurants. It’s a strange sensation.

I like this life over here. I do miss my kids though. But God has revealed to me over and over and over that He called me here for a few specific purposes and because he did that, He’s going to take care of the kids for me. That way I don’t feel like I abandoned them. Its interesting that my church in California, Cornerstone, is doing a study on the book of Acts. Its all about listening to God’s voice to travel abroad to share the Gospel. I think that is God’s way of speaking into my life giving me the confirmation that Im doing the right thing.

Stress test

Well I think I was tested today. Im pretty sure I came out on top. We had another positive living group tonight at my flat. We had seven show up tonight. Its not the same people every week, I usually get a good mix of Christians, Muslims, and Agnostics. Im still hoping my resident Hindu friend comes back as she really likes the teaching. The topic was avoiding stress. Right after the video is when I was tested. I should tell you its 11:15 and Im writing this from the office. Let me give you a little background to this problem. One of the deadlines we were facing was this particularly long project. The client called with changes yesterday that needed to be implemented by 10:30 am today. So not a lot of time to waste. We implemented the changes and the tech guys went to work making it happen. I stayed until 9:00 finished what I had to do then barely made it to quiz night. I was starting to get worried…I hate missing quiz night. The boys ran into some technical issues and didn’t leave til 3:30 am that morning. I was so proud of them sticking with it and meeting the deadline. Then the client called back at 4:00 PM with even more changes. They needed the project by 7:00 AM tomorrow. You see once you build chapters in a DVD and the menu, one tiny change, you have to do the whole painstaking process over again. They had not one change but many changes. So I did most of them, or so I thought then I ran out at 6:00 in order to hit my Positive Living group on time. Well I did make it back and that’s when the problems started. Mainly the problems were due to human error…some of it, admittedly might have been mine. Finally when they called with something that couldn’t be fixed. I had to excuse myself and come down to see the problem myself. The good part is that most of the group had already went home. I was left just chatting with someone that goes to my church. The person I was talking to was someone on the elder board whom I answer to for accountability purposes for my small group. This guy is a really nice guy and he cares for me. He just doesn’t care for Joel Osteen that much. He believes that its unrealistic to believe that believing in God and everyone will be healthy, happy, and whole with no problems. At least that is his perception of Joel’s teaching. Right or wrong…its his perception. What that philosophy is sometimes called is the Prosperity doctrine. While that is an essential part of the message of Christianity. Its also not the only message. For example there are consequences to sin, there are struggles and pain. He, and the critics of the prosperity doctrine, believe that should be shared as well. I should say a lot of people share that negative opinion of Joel. It seems like Joel endures a lot of criticism most of it from within the church. I always seem to be an apologist for Joel. His philosophy and teachings really helped me escape the doldrums of my divorce. In fact, I believe Im a poster child that his philosophy really works. Its just interesting that the man with a fervent relationship with God on the elder board doesn’t like Osteen’s philosophy that much while the other non-church people in my group love it. I see both sides of the equation. Im here to spread that philosophy to whomever will listen. The complaint against Osteen is that he’s not theological enough. Now that works perfect for the audience that God has called me to reach. Anything heavier theologically would ostracize most of the people that come to my group and thus defeat my goals in reaching out to the unchurched here. So while Joel’s philosophy might not be right for everyone. Its right for me and what Im doing here.
OK…back to my story, I was talking with the elder when a phone call from the office came with major problems with the project. I had to excuse myself and run down to the office at 10:30. I explained to him…see Im not stressed at all. My guys have been here a lot longer than me. I told them when I was leaving today that I paid my dues and spent my fair share of time with late nights. Wait…you know what…I don’t think I’ve ever done one complete overnighter on a project. That is kind of strange, because you’d think with never missing a deadline, I’d have at least one or two. But honestly I can remember any of them. But Im not stressed about being here. Not ever really bothered by it. I feel bad for my staff because they are putting in such long hours and not complaining one bit. Im very proud of them. Its at times like this I feel like Im a good leader. But stress…no, not today.

When will October end?

I just knew October was going to be a tough month…and it has been. Today was particularly difficult. We are having real problems at work with the cash flow situation. We have projects and I’m as busy as I’ve ever been, but that just isn’t translating right now. We had a client call in with changes to their video and they needed them all done by 10:30 tomorrow morning. There were technical issues to deal with as well. We operate both on Mac’s and PC’s at the office. So there is conflict sometimes. Plus I was working on my own deadline for yet another project. I was extremely efficient today. The good thing, is the client initially liked my project with a few minor changes. I was worried about one section of the video which turned out to be ok. So I guess I have to get a better attitude. Two deadlines today, and positive reviews on one…and I anticipate positive reviews when we find out about the other project tomorrow.

I am in a funk I think. I don’t know if its related, but we had Quiz night tonight. We had a full team and no excuses. We’ve lost for a second week in a row. We didn’t win one round. That has not happened since I’ve been here. So I think you can put this under the when it rains it pours scenarios. I haven’t really been exercising regularly the past few weeks either and my devotional walk is not what it should be. I have a poor attitude and its hard to remain positive. Manu saw the consternation on my face today when he mentioned, sir I like when you have a smile on your face. I know that God said to prepare for this, but it really hit harder than I thought. Now…Im in a strange position. Even though everything is really sucky right now, I know I will emerge from it. I feel like I just have to hunker down and endure the storm.

God is really trying to teach me something through all of this. Im not sure what it is but I hope I learn fast. I have a feeling that this is mile 25 and the marathon and I only have 1.2 miles to go. So let me throw in one more metaphor, with its darkest before the dawn. I am still thankful that God is using me. Now I just have to struggle to maintain a positive attitude. As always, your prayers are coveted.

Im going to wrap it up early. So the pontificating and philosophizing will have to wait another day.

You're a black donkey

A very low key day today. I kind of liked it that way. I don’t have much to write tonight as Im going to try to get in bed early. I have a big week this week with deadlines. I tried to bring home work with me this weekend, but I put it off until just a couple of hours ago. I got most of it completed.

I went kayaking for the first time in two weeks. I thought the water was getting too cold but I was wrong. The water in the middle of the day its pretty nice. The weather is starting to get very comfortable here. When I say comfortable, I mean 90. It feels wonderful. So I went out today and the water was great. Because the Arabian Gulf (The whole of the Middle East doesn’t call it the Persian Gulf anymore…it’s the Arabian Gulf) is so shallow the water temperature rises and falls very quickly. Most of the time in the summer the water is upwards of 90-95 degrees…now its down to 80-90 degrees, its still very comfortable. It was low tide, so I paddled to the other end of the bay and docked at a sand barge. I laid down on the beach and used my kayak for a pillow. It was a totally relaxing 30 minute nap. Then I paddled back.

I had a great night. Bahrain is tied in their region for the World Cup qualifier. So they had a special home and away match with New Zealand to determine which country qualified for the World Cup. It was held at the National Stadium, which is the biggest in Bahrain. It held about 40,000. Im pretty spoiled with all the stadiums in the U.S. This stadium looked like it was something from the 1960’s. The match was free and I can understand why. Bahrain is a very modern country and a beautiful place, but this stadium looked like something from the third world. I think most would agree that the bathrooms in most stadiums are bad…but the bathrooms in this place were disgusting. Wow!!!! I thank the Lord Im a guy and that I wasn’t wearing flip flops. There wasn’t really any concessions in the stadium either. Most of the concessions as you walked in consisted of homemade meals placed on a table in front of the car. There were a lot of stands for drinks. That consisted of a bunch of 2 liter bottles and they’d pour your soda for you. The good part was that it was only the equivalent of a quarter. I bought three Bahraini jerseys for my children. They were only the equivalent of $9 each. Compare that to the cost of a jersey in the U.S. They are anywhere from 4-5 times that amount at least. The game had a lot of spirit to it. Moody was being quite amused by all the swearing in Arabic that the fans were yelling at the players. Apparently the curse words in Arabic were…”You’re a black donkey” and “kick it you homosexual” It seemed tame compared to the types of swearing I hear at U.S. football games. Throughout the match on the loudspeakers the announcers/cheerleaders would invoke Allah to help the Bahraini players do better. But alas the prayers didn’t help. The game ended in a nil-nil tie. I wanted at least one score to hear the crowd go wild, instead there were a lot of sighs and references to black donkeys. Still it was a great night out.

A full and fulfilling day

What a great day it was for me. I got up early to have breakfast with Darren. Then I made it to church. Its still weird doing church on Friday. This was the first day we were allowed back in our school, where we normally hold the services. We have a fairly large church at around 300. Well its large for an international church anyway. The had closed us down due to the swine flu. So that means this was the first session back with the teens. Im volunteering to teach them. I really like interacting with the teens. I feel like I can really speak their language. Im not sure if it’s a special anointing or not, but Im real with them. I guess part of me is a little sad that I can’t have the same influence with my own teens. But hopefully, through time and prayer that will change someday. I really have been missing my kids lately. Everytime I see a dad with a teenager, my heart sinks a bit. While I am doing very well over here, there is a hole in my heart.

After church I met Darren again for squash and Lunch at the British club. This is the first time I’ve exercised in a week, so it really took it out of me. Lounging by the pool of the British club is always nice. It sure doesn’t feel like the Middle East there. In fact, it doesn’t feel like the Middle East much at all around Bahrain. Unless I drive downtown in the villages, then yes. But I really don’t have much interaction there.

There was a big party for Omar’s wife Sara tonight. The theme of the party was Emergency 999. Here they dial 999 instead of 911. So there were all sorts of creative costumes today. Costume parties are big here and people go all out for them. At Tanya’s suggestions I went as a drug addict. I never throw away my used insulin bottles, so I literally have hundreds now. I also had a collection of old used needles that I don’t use and haven’t bothered to properly dispose of them yet. Julie our photographer was a seamstress in the Philippines. So I had her sew on all the needles and empty insulin bottles on the t-shirt. It looked really fantastic. I’ll post some pics of it in a few days. I owe this blog a lot of pictures. I havent’ updated it in awhile and I will get better at it.

I asked Tanya what time the party started and she said 7:30 sharp. I asked again, just to make sure because most arrive late to these sort of things. So I got there at 7:30 and no one other than family had arrived yet. Most rolled in around 9:30 and the party started hopping then. I had a really nice time talking to friends and made a few new ones. Oh speaking of meeting new friends, I met a couple at church that both graduated from Liberty University in the 80’s. Whenever I hear that, my ears perk up. I have a sister back there….It gives us something interesting to talk about usually.

Well tomorrow is an exciting day. I get to sleep in with no scheduled appointments. I can’t remember the last time that happened…Im so stoked. Im probably going to celebrate and stay up late and watch the Office. Tomorrow night is kind of a big night. Bahrain is playing a home and away futbol, what we think of as soccer,match with New Zealand for the right to go to the World club. They are tied apparently. Moody invited me to go with he and his friends. Im not sure how many people go to this thing but apparently it’s a big deal. I was worried about getting tickets. I asked how much tickets were…and he responded its free. What????? Im so used to capitalism anything that is free surprises me now. So Im not sure how many people will go to this thing, but it should be fun.

Surprised about the day after

I was reflecting more on yesterday. I really did feel like George Bailey. There were about 100 people that wrote me happy birthday on facebook. I guess I should go back and respond to each one individually. Is that online etiquette? But for now, I just wrote a blanket thank you on my facebook update page and that triggered another 25 or so well wishers. It certainly was not my intention to do that. Now what made me feel great about all this, is that I didn’t have my family to celebrate it with this year or for that matter the last few years. I think God was making up for it yesterday with all these people besieging me with well wishes. Its never really been that important to me to be popular. But yesterday It kind of hit me…I am popular. Its not like Im doing things to make a lot of friends…Im just trying to be nice. To care about people. People are drawn to that. I mean its amazing, people I don’t even know and others I barely know approaching me. It is really amazing. Im absolutely blessed. I think God is putting me in a position where I can influence a lot of people. Im honored and blessed that he chose me to help build his kingdom.

We were jammed up at work today. A client was coming in at 12, so we had to have the project ready to go. Moody did most of the set up work, then I did a lot of the tweaking by adding the little finishing touches. I believe the client was very happy. There were times that client requested tricky changes or re-edits. Moody is relatively a new editor. So it was easy for me to sit down and do the changes myself rather than look over my shoulder. I really whizzed through it. I guess over the years I’ve become a very good editor. Its weird with my skill set. I have to be businessman, artist, and negotiator all rolled up into one. It seems those characteristics are quite disparate, but Im trying to use both sides of my brain now. I’ve found creatively, I have to gear up mentally for that kind of work. If something throws me off my game, I can’t really do it til the next day. Its like I have to psyche myself up for it. But when it flows…it really flows fast. Fortunately, I have plenty of left brained work to do so that always keeps me busy. This week was weird. I worked so hard, but I really didn’t work long hours. So it was the quality of work, not the quantity. But I remember thinking distinctly at 5:10, my brain is going to sleep now. It is the perfect time for the weekend for me to recharge my batteries. The work load is starting to thin out a bit. I don’t feel quite so overwhelmed anymore. I still have these amazing looming deadlines, but dealing with it in bite size chunks makes it seem more manageable.

After work, I decided not to fight the traffic and go see a movie. We have a mall really close to where I work. So I got there right as it was starting. I snuck in a chicken wrap to eat dinner with my popcorn and soda. So as Im watching the new Bruce Willis movie, I almost fell asleep. Im not sure if it was an indication of a bad movie, I was tired from the night before, or maybe Im getting tired of films. (Gasps from the audience). By my count, I’ve seen over 15,000 films. I love films, and love going to them. But maybe I’m going into a different phase in life. I find myself drawn more to TV series now. I never thought I’d say that. But for me, series TV is all about character development. Im more drawn to that then story. In fact, that’s what I always tell my comedians. Don’t worry about being funny. Comedy has little to do with the words, its all about the character and how the character responds in different situations.

I didn’t talk about Round 3 of Bahrain’s Funniest Person last night. The crowd was a bit down. I don’t think we marketed the event properly. This was our first contest in nearly two months. We are out of routine. So the crowd was smaller and that provided less energy. Plus we were missing three of our main comics who were traveling. The smaller crowd really affected the performers. Laughing is contagious. Sidd also said bar sales were down. Alcohol and laughter seem to go hand in hand too. We did a couple sketches that were really hilarious. We did an audience participation segment. The contestant had to drink a cup of water and hold it in their mouth for one minute. The comedians then tried to make that person laugh. So if that person laughed…they spit the water out all over the stage. It was very funny. The name of the game? Spit or swallow….I know its very crude but we were in a club for a comedy night. I guess that is not very becoming of me…but boy was it funny.

Surprise!!!

It’s 8:00 about an hour before our third round of the Funniest Person in Bahrain starts. Im a little nervous about this one. We are missing three of our performers who are traveling for business. Plus this is our first contest in nearly two months. We’ll get in a regular routine after this. Im waiting on the chairs to be delivered and two more stage pieces. In all the worry about deadlines, cash flow and managing a company, I have to remember I have to perform too. Our show is very similar to Who’s line is it anyways. I’d be the drew carey without the glasses. If you want to see clips of the past two shows, they are on the facebook group page “The Funniest Person in Bahrain.” Im really using Facebook to promote the show and our company. Almost everyone in Bahrain with an internet connection here is on Facebook. Its an amazing phenomenon.

Speaking of facebook…its my birthday today. I am 41. I didn’t really advertise that it was my birthday. Last year everyone, except my parents and sisters, seemed to have forgotten about it, which I mentioned yesterday. So I was gearing up to be low key again. My kids forget to call. This is the second year now. Im not sure if its my responsibility to remind them of my birthday. So I try to just forget about it.

So because of not being with my family, I tried to let it slide without a lot of fanfare. But then there is facebook. Natasha, our graphic designer who is an avid facebooker, happened to mention Happy Birthday to me late last night. So this morning, Im editing away in my office and in Natasha walks with a cake followed by the rest of my staff singing. I was absolutely surprised. It felt really great having all 20 of my staff in there smiling, patting me on the back, and shaking my hand. They really like me and it made me feel very special. The chocolate cake had a screen print of the magazine cover I was on a few months back. I guess they make them with edible ink. What’s more, the Filipino girls brought in lunch for everyone. It just really made me feel very special. What’s more, I nearly got 100 messages from my facebook friends wishing me a happy birthday. Some from old friends from my past, some from my current friends and some from people I barely know. I felt a little like George Bailey from It’s a wonderful life. Im fortunate that I have been able to make so many friends from all over the world. It helps alleviate the pain from the loss of my immediate family.

I was really focused at work today. I have to extend our History of Seaports video by two minutes. I was thinking about how to do this the right way for the past two weeks. Im starting to see the light start to emerge out of my deadline tunnel. I was so overwhelmed when I had three projects to do. These are all major projects. But once I got the first one done, I could start focusing on the second one, which I should have finished by tomorrow and then onto #3. So at first they were all quite intimidating, now they seem to be falling like dominoes. I want to wipe the slate clean, because the sooner I finish them, the sooner we can invoice, and the sooner was can fix the cash flow situation.

I need to reflect a little bit more about the party at work. It was really genuine. They really like me. They really like me. I have never been a general manager before…but I’ve had various roles of leadership. I think Im a very good leader because I really care about everyone. I think they realize this and it was given back to me today. We took a lot of pictures which I’ll post on the blog. One of the more proud moments I’ve had was standing next to Khalifa and the cake. I really like and respect Khalifa and he feels the same.

Well I have some contestants showing up now…the show starts in 30 min. and we still don’t have chairs. I better get cracking.

Thank you for all of your prayers and well wishes.