Out of my control

What a tough day emotionally it was. I miss my kids. Things over there seem to be getting worse and not better. I have to trust God on this one. We had a big group at our Positive Living Group tonight with 8. Nabs and his girlfriend came by for the first time. I really like Nabs. You may recall he was the first Arab to walk to the North Pole. He’s a bit of a celebrity around here. We are studying stress in our teaching series with Joel this month. I mentioned to the group that I rarely experience stress (as I believe it’s a choice mostly) but the past couple of weeks I was really experiencing it. Maria asked me, what makes me stressed. I responded when things are out of my control. Well the kids are out of my control, the company’s cash flow issues are kind of out of my control. My emotional state is sometimes out of my control. The teaching on stress tonight was to recognize your stress points and change your circumstances. Well…I can’t really change my circumstances since…its out of my control. But then it hit me. That is what God is trying to teach me. Im supposed to learn to be content when life is out of my control, because its then when God is completely in control. I can’t do anything to fix my situation anyway, so I might as well trust in God. The more I try to manipulate or control my situation…the more I seem to screw it up.

We had a very busy day at work. We had to get the proposal out by five, which we did, barely. But we are having more and more technical problems at work. It makes me frustrated, because its out of my control. Apparently some of our DVD’s that we produce don’t always work in certain computers. I refuse to accept the excuse that it is normal. I want to find a solution…but that is out of my control. So that was very frustrating for me. I had to do a budget, and synopsis for the proposal. Raimond was kind of enough to come in an help us. The schools are closed for another two weeks for the elementary kids as a prevention measure for the swine flu, yet the high schools opened today.

I was hoping to get started on my other projects but there were just too many technical glitches at work. I need to be in the flow to work creatively. When these glitches come up it just knocks me off my game. I can’t afford to be knocked off my game too many times.

Im bringing Moody back for another month’s work. I really hope I have the work to keep him on full time. He is a great resource in the office knowing Arabic and Final Cut Pro. The client is coming in for changes to the project which we completed on Thursday. The client was really worried that there were a lot of changes. I told him it was par for the course. Most of the time there are a lot of changes the first time through. He was quite relieved. Its our job as a production company to make those changes and to give him peace of mind. He was reassured after I told him that.

Im having a tough time at work with people complaining about their wage…well only two guys really. Its hard because these guys keep asking for money and we are just cash poor right now. As soon as I get these projects done, we’ll have a windfall. But until then…its tight. The recession is hitting us too. Its frustrating because this one particular guy that asks for money was given two pay increases in the year that I’ve been here. Now he wants even more. He’s the type, that I think whatever we gave him wouldn’t be enough. I want to be the nice likable guy, like Michael from the Office…lol…but sometimes I have to be tough and say no.