active day

A very active day today. There was a little conflict in the office. Apparently our DVD’s that we produce don’t play in all the machines of our customers. Im not sure about the technical jargon with the codecs and drivers. My response to IT is fix it. Their response is to tell me why it can’t be fixed. My response, come up with a solution. I wasn’t being very managerial. I don’t really have the time to be too managerial. My mind should be focused elsewhere. The good part is the office is functioning as a fine tuned machine. Salesmen are selling, designers designing, editors editing. I enjoy overseeing and doing a few tweaks here and there. Today I was focused on trying to do a few technical things in the office. I kept getting interrupted. They were good interruptions. But still everytime I had to stop it took me some time to get back into the groove. The good part was that all the interruptions were good news. Im confident we are going to get out of the dip that we are in, but it is still touch and go until we get there.

There is still so much to do the rest of this month. If you remember about three weeks ago God forewarned me that the next six weeks would be really difficult. I just had no idea how difficult it would be. It seems like struggles are hitting from all sides, physical, mental, spiritual, psychological…issues with X…kids…work…cash flow…security…friends…potential partners. Its not like things get better…but I get respites from the bad. So it’s a small little let up…its still bad…just not really bad. I think Im going to stay stuck in their mire until the end of the month. Im trying to have a good attitude and thing positive thoughts. But I feel as if Im running a race and I can’t stop to rest. I just have to keep running till the end. I have peace right now in the midst of the storm but the joy is fleeting and the happiness and contentment certainly are not there. Yet I know that this is a season and those things will all come together as Im through with this little spell.

We had a little run through for the Funniest Person tonight. Im so honored that my cast is so dedicated. Im not paying these guys any money as we’re not making any money yet. But still they are so faithful. One of our cast members is traveling for work and can’t make it. The whole cast is a little bummed that he won’t be there. We are actually all becoming quite close. We have to figure out the audio for the performance. Mic’ing up 10 people is quite a challenge. Theater style…you just have a few boom mics but Im expecting a lot of people. So we have to compensate for the extra bodies. A guy came buy with wireless mics today, but he tried to charge us $90 a piece rental. With 10 people…all the gate receipts would go towards paying the audio guy. I hope to come up with a solution…we only have a few hours to come up with something. Its down to the wire.

I am very excited about tomorrow night. Its kind of weird because we are doing the show on my birthday. Im kind of embarrassed to tell people its my birthday as I feel like its another way of saying “Give me praise and attention.” So normally I keep quiet about it. Last year for instance, my birthday came and went very quietly. I had my parents and sisters call..but that is it. I expect the same thing to happen this year and that is ok with me. I think when I get my new family it will be a bigger deal. I hate that term new family. I want my old one back. But that wasn’t my choice. You know my house is rented out to a bunch of responsible divorced dads. These guys are really good guys. But we were talking. Society generally stereotypes the woman as the victim in divorce proceedings. Everyone always assumes it’s the husband that was unfaithful and left. Well my roommates and I will tell a vastly different story. Its not really fair…but I have to accept it and try to move on. Still…back in the day nothing gave me greater joy than spending time with my family. That greatest joy was stolen from me. It ticks me off still. But vengeance is the Lord’s. I have to let it go. Forgiveness is not a one time thing. It is a choice and process. I’ll be forgiving for the rest of my life.