Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Trying to cancel the New Year

Many people were very disappointed today.  The Gulf Coast Countries (the countries the border the Persian gulf, or the Arab nations) decided to cancel all the new year’s festivities out of respect for the conflict in Gaza where so many people have lost their lives.  So that means no alcohol and no clubs.  This is a BIG deal here in Bahrain where drinking and clubbing is so engrained in their culture.  The proclamation came down from the King through the news and the internet kind of like in the same fashion of an emergency broadcast signal.  Many people were quite upset about the turn of events. 

I went to a house party at Armand’s and Oz’s house.  It was great fun.  They had the place really decorated well and the music was blaring.  There probably was 60-70 people there.  So it was a great chance to meet even more people.  The house parties are a little quieter than clubs so its easier to communicate with people.  My hearing sucks as it is, I’m not a good dancer..I don’t drink, I don’t smoke  (I sound like an Adam Ant song) that’s why I don’t like clubs.  But house parties are much milder.  Others thought was  still strange that I didn’t drink.  I get responses like “Why not”  “I wish I were like you”  “I would have saved so much money last year if I didn’t drink.”  So people are intrigued by my choice not to drink and that usually opens up doors to talk about my faithi. 

I met some really interesting people at the party.  I got there early enough to meet them when they weren’t all the way hammered yet.  It was cool…now I’m being introduced by friends to their other friends.  “They say that…I want you to meet this guy, he’s really important to you.

There are a lot people that believe in me right now….Im so drifiting so Im going to cut this short.  Its 2:20 am. Im not even going to proofread it, so if there a mistakes, I apologize already.  I’ve already fallen asleep three time while writing this.   Good night…and Happy New Year.  

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Embracing Solitude Part II

It’s a little bit funny…this feeling inside…wait that’s an Elton John song.  What I meant to say that ever since I embraced my solitude….I haven’t had any…and that is fine by me.  I spent the weekend alone just with God.  Prior to that really ever since my divorce…I hated being alone.  It made me feel like a failure.  Out here was nothing different…I’d have anxiety about being alone and not be able to enjoy myself.  I know my embracing solitude spiel spoke to many of you based on the amount of responses I got back.  By the way…I love the responses thank you so much.  It makes me feel like we are all apart of this together.  Which we are…as we are one body in Christ. 

So as soon as I made it past this weekend…I’ve had nothing but social engagements.  Did I really learn what God wanted me to learn in 36 hours?  I’ve heard it said before that God won’t answer a prayer until you’ve become what He desires you to be.  Then once that happens…God can move lightning fast.  It makes the whole “Those who wait upon the Lord thing will renew their strength…they shall mount up with wings like eagles they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint…” have a little different perspective.  I have done my fair share of arguing with God…”OK God I think I learned this lesson already…can I move on to the next space on the playing board.”  But God’s timing is absolutely perfect.  It just is hard as we are wading through the muck to wait sometimes.  I think what God was trying to teach me…was to be content in all seasons of life no matter what the emotional or financial circumstances.  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

I was walking through the City Center Mall to drop off a DVD with 65,000 of our pictures to the Art Gallery.  I met Alex…a Palestinian I believe.  He was very excited and his owners were very excited to see the images.  They want to buy a bunch in bulk..what could be a massive order.  That would be awesome (please keep that in prayer) that would really insulate us from the Global economic recession.  Its not just the U.S., the recession is having a trickle down effect all over the world.  Especially hard his is Dubai…with all the construction going on there…and there is a ton of construction.  They are estimating that ½ of Dubai’s construction industry will be laid off.  If I can get the financial side taken care of…that would give me a lot more authority and leeway at work from a bottom line perspective.  I also think He’d have me be successful so I could focus on the ministry aspect too.  I really am starting to feel an incredible calling that the Bible study I’m starting in late January, will eventually turn into a church.  A church for this generation.  I don’t think the navy guys or flight attendants would be ministered to or fed in the churches they currently have on this island.  So with God’s grace…Im going to try to do something completely different.  Im not really sure how its’ going to look yet…buy my apartment is big enough to hold 20-30 if need be.  I don’t have to worry about the details.  God is taking care of everything…professionally, personally, emotionally,  spiritually.  Like he said a few weeks ago to me….”Seek First the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you.”  This whole Bahrain experience is proof of that.  Its like Im bumping into God’s favor almost by accident.  Like Joel Osteen says…God’s favor will chase you down.  Im proof of that too.  For your homework check out the first part of Deuteronomy 28.  I recited that outloud for nearly two years along with many other verses.  There is something powerful that happens in the spiritual world when you speak the scriptures aloud.  Those verses are slowly coming to pass for me in my life.  God is faithful. 

So I was feeling very good about my life and God’s blessings.  I was strutting through the biggest mall in the Middle East, after a successful meeting.  My ipod was blaring Genesis’ “Tonight, Tonight” and I was having an emotional high.  Then I remembered a sermon from TD Jakes, which I mentioned a few weeks ago.  He preached. “Don’t let your highs get too high…or let your lows get too low.  When you get a high, take some of it…and deposit it in the bank so when the lows come, you can make a withdrawal.”  I think the human tendency, at least with me, my tendency is to swing from high to low…a little bi-polar action.  So instead of exploiting the high…I took a deep breath…thanked God…and didn’t let myself get too excited.  I guess I’ll be able to make a withdrawal now a little later then.  

Monday, December 29, 2008

Three's Company???

Yet another day off in Bahrain.  I think we have three more to go.  Its getting frustrating, I’m anxious to get to work…but I need the whole country to be up and running to be fully effective.  I am very anxious to get things moving at the office.  I have so many promising leads.  Its weird being the “general” in manager.  I have to be the jack of all trades.  I get so much fulfillment from the creative side as the artist in me comes out.  But I’m very good at leadership and motivation.  So that is a key ingredient too.  If I can only get the cash flow/projections/revenue stream down…then I would be absolutely “general”. 

I saw a trailer for Madagascar II last week.  I really wanted to see it.  But I can’t go to an animated movie by myself.  So I invited Tanya’s kids to go see it with me.  Tanya wanted to see it too.  So we all went to the movies.  Afterwards we met up with her husband Raimond and went out to eat dinner.  I really feel like Im a part of this family now.  The kids are sooooo cute.  They are 5 and 8.  It so makes me want to have more of my own.  I often wonder who might God have for me in the next go around.  If they are young…maybe there is a possibility for another family.  I’ve mentioned before that I felt like I’ve had my family stolen from me.  But God is faithful and he restores.  If I could have my kids with me now…I’d do it in a New York Minute.  I’m pretty anxious to love again.  Not necessarily to be loved.  I don’t think I was loved for the last 7-8 years of my marriage, so I learned to live without it.  Yet what I miss is having someone to adore and cherish.  Someone to give gifts and trinkets too.  I always enjoyed giving more than receiving.  I know that in God’s perfect timing he has the perfect mate in mind for me.  That is really the lesson that God has been trying to teach me since I’ve been here.  To wait upon God’s timing…God’s timing is always perfect.  When we try to rush it, we step out of God’s will.  I sure mucked up some things in my life when I tried to encourage God to hurry up.  So Im trying not fret about the immediate future, whether or not I have a date or a night alone at the apartment.  I’m trying to be like Paul (emotionally speaking) when he was in prison how he learned to abound and learned to live without, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  I can learn to live alone…but if anyone of you out there wants to pray to have God hurry up…I’m not getting in your wa….

After dinner I was supposed to meet up with the Romanian and Baraq, wait Baraq is the only that doesn’t have a character name.  I’ll call him the Iraqi.  So we were supposed to meet up and play a game of squash.  First the Romanian had to cancel, and then the Iraqi.  So I was left alone tonight.  You know what…I was fine with it.  I had a good talk with God and am settling into my groove of contentment with solitude.  I told you previously, that God led me to a three bedroom apartment.  Its way too big for just me.  But now I know why he led me here.  Guy will be moving out in two weeks.  He’ll take one of the bedrooms.  I just got a call from a friend looking for a place…and she’ll take another bedroom.  Yes it’s a female roommate…but Im not sure if she’ll be moving in or not.  I really don’t see a problem with it.  I checked with Guy and he didn’t have a problem.  His response…”Good she can clean up after us.”  I don’t think it will work like that…but it was good for a laugh.  So I guess it will be like Three’s company…only its will be  Jack…Janet…Christopher…two guys one girl.  If any of you think that is inappropriate for a “missionary” to have a female platonic roommate with another guy roommate to boot.  I’d be glad to hear your opinion.  For now…I don’t have a check in my spirit about it.  I think it if was wrong…God would throw up a road block.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Crisis averted...Quiz night victorious

OK…I guess the early warning detection system I mentioned yesterday worked.  God is soooo cool that way.  Since my divorce I’ve really been able to hear from God so much clearly than ever before.  God has always been speaking to me, I just never really took the time or knew how to tune in.  Pain will do that to you.  So in the past three years, I can think of 6 to 7 different occasions where God has warned me to pray and fast ahead of time because a trial is heading my way.  Each time something hit, it hasn’t been debilitating even though the news was often devastating. 

So I felt very strongly impressed this weekend that I would be put under a lot of temptation this week because the next two weeks were going to be quite a challenge.  So I prepared accordingly.  In fact, that is one of the reasons why God called me to be alone most of the weekend so I could be in complete harmony in Him.  So I go into work today and one of the first things that hit…could have been a nuclear bomb.  I didn’t panic at all…because I was prepared for it.  I’ve found often times, the way that the enemy works, is he likes to rock your world so that creates a panic and desire to escape via self-medication, i.e. drink, drug, sex, spending, etc…whatever your weakness may be.  So if the devil is not able to rock your world than the temptation and need to escape is minimized.  So after I heard the news, I calmly reviewed it with the parties involved.  And it was amazing…God working through me…giving me the words and the actions to say.  I could truly feel his spirit upon me.  The issue isn’t completely resolved…but its about 90% resolved.  That doesn’t mean Im out of the woods yet.  I expect more attacks to be coming continuously.  As I really think Im on the brink of something special in the Middle East.  The devil isn’t going to take all this lying down.  That is why your prayers are still so coveted. 

I feel like right now…Im a 200 lb bully and the devil is a 98 lb weakling.  Just because I have been working my spiritual inner man out often.  The Devil took his best uppercut at me and I flinched just a bit, but didn’t fall over.  That doesn’t mean I’m getting cocky.  No…he’ll get up again and try another tactic if the one he’s currently using doesn’t work.  I just have to be continually prepared for whatever he might throw my way.  In times past, when I wasn’t strong spiritually, I was the 98 lb. weakling and the devil was the 200 lb. bully.  Trying to go up against him (and resist temptation) was often futile because he was so much stronger than me.  Im so thankful that in the midst of a very trying day…I can honestly say it was a great day….but it could have been awful. 

Tomorrow is yet another national holiday here.  This is like the 8th holiday this month (not including weekends).  Many of the Bahrainis complain because it is incredibly difficult to get anything done during this time.  Employees love it of course…but as a GM where I have to watch my bottom line, it is quite challenging. 

I went to quiz night at JJ”s the local irish pub.  I played on a team with an Australian, and two blokes from the UK.  Now this particular quiz night, is notorious because this one particular team seems to win everytime.  Yet on this night…our team won two of the four rounds…so we took home the crown tonight.  What a blast that was.  I do still love my job and my life in Bahrain.  It just seems to be getting better and better everyday.  I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to bring my children over to experience this grand life.  My ex is pretty steadfast against it.  And unless I want to spend thousands to fight for my right…she probably won’t change unless God becomes involved…because with God…all things are possible.  So your prayers in that department are continuously appreciated. 

So after a potentially tumultuous emotional day…the song from Lakewood Church keeps going through my head….”I’m still standing…I’m still standing….But by the grace…but by the grace of God.”  And get this…the Oakland Raiders won two games in a row…Im going out tomorrow night for dinner with Romanian #2, maybe there is really a God.  Pray for Romanian #1 by the way…God prompted me to buy her a Bible.  I think she’s getting closer.  I need the Holy Spirit to finish off the details.  

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Early Warning Detections Systems

Well I was really embracing my solicitude today.  I don’t want to be a hermit, but want to be completely content with the life that God has given me.  I was very pleasantly surprised at all the supportive emails that I got from readers of this blog.  Your words and well wishes mean a ton. If you want to leave your emails as comments, I really don’t mind…that way they can edify more people.  But I also understand if you want to stay anonymous.   

I really feel like I’ve been under spiritual attack…not just emotionally…but physically as well.  I have this strange sickness that comes on in the first part of the day…Just totally wipes me out.  Then I fervently pray…and it goes away.  But it keeps coming back each morning.  A lot of common everyday sickness can be construed as spiritual attacks.  So next time you feel a cold or the flu coming on try this.  Speak aloud…”Spirit of sickness you have no authority over me…you have been defeated at Calvary.  In Jesus name I command you to be gone.”  You don’t have to do it word for word, but just focus on the issue…proclaim your authority in Jesus name, and cast it out.  That has kept me nearly sickness/disease free for three years.  What is amazing, before I learned that prayer technique…as  a diabetic I was constantly sick as my immune system sucks.  But since I’ve been praying…I’ve been the healthiest I’ve ever been. 

God spoke to me this morning forewarning me the next two weeks were going to be heavy in the realm of spiritual warfare for me.  I needed to buckle down and get ready for the onslaught.   This has happened a few times in my life.  One of the first times it happened, God forewarned me to fast and pray for two days because it was going to be difficult time in the weekend.  So I did.  Two days later on New Year’s Eve…I got some very bad news  The news was particularly devastating.  But because I was forewarned I was strong enough to take it and not let it devastate me like it could have.  Its like God has given me an early warning detection system.  This has happened more than 10 times in my life.  I think one of the reasons why God wanted me to embrace being alone was so that he could talk more intimately with me and forewarn me about what lies ahead.  He does speak to me a lot.  I have a hunch there are some big things coming down the pipe and he wants me absolutely prepared for it.

I was just chatting with Guy, the Canadian.  He’s supposed to arrive around Jan. 15.  I’m very excited about having him come on board.  Not only will it help professionally, but personally as well.  Since he’ll be my roommate, he’ll be a great source of friendship.  The idea that we are going to start a Bible Study, I think will grow into the idea of starting a church.  There is such a need for a relevant gathering that meets specific age demographics.  Don’t get me wrong.  There are some good churches here…just not a lot.  Reji wanted me to invite one of our co-workers to church, and I hesitated.  This sounds really bad, but I don’t think church is the best place for him.  At least the churches here.  The churches here are great for the believers to strengthen their faith.  Rather, I thought it would be a more powerful for him to see Christ through me…and through other close associates.  I guess what I’m saying is that I see the need for a type of “seeker-sensitive” church out here.  So many of the people my age…their life revolves around clubbing and drinking.  People consume a lot of alcohol here.  There seems to be very little alternative for fun.  I think that is what Guy and I are going to create here.  An alternative to the lifestyle that so many people are accustomed to out here.  Its exciting and a little intimidating to think of all the potential that God can do.  But I think there is a convergence of people and God’s purpose coming together at the exact right time.  I have a hunch that a spiritual bomb is about to explode.  I’m not sure if I’m speaking this prophetically or not, but I believe that God has big plans…both locally and internationally.  Im honored to be a part of it.  I’m not really sure what do to…or how Im supposed to do it.  But God revealed to me…that all he wants me to do is to be faithful and ready to be used.  He will handle all the details. 

I went out to a movie and dinner with the Dentist.  She is such a lovely person. So gracious and amazing heart for God.  I just like hearing her refined British accent.  It is so soothing.  There are so many accents here.  I was talking a few weeks back with some German friends that I just met.  They guessed immediately that I was from the States because of my American accent.  I said…”What?  Americans don’t have accents.”  They said…yes you do and you have a very thick American accent.  The more I thought about it…the more I realized I do have a thick American accent…cue the Lee Greenwood song….

Friday, December 26, 2008

Embracing Solitude

Since my divorce, I’ve hated being alone, especially on a Friday or Saturday night.  The holiday season has been really challenging for me…with no family.  Yesterday was nice with the Shaheen family.  Tonight was going to be tough…or so I thought.  I was meditating today and trying to figure out what God was trying to teach me while im here.  I heard a great sermon from a podcast from Charles Stanley this week.  It was all about contentment.  Stanley advocated…telling God…God I don’t like this situation, but Im in it…and I need your to help teach me why Im going through this.  So I did that.  The answer was very clear.  I need to be completely dependent upon God emotionally and not need to go out and socialize or have things to do.  So tonight was a bit of a test for me. 

After church I went to breakfast with Reji, the Indian IT guy at my office.  He’s all jazzed up about starting a church too.  Its just confirmation of what God had earlier told me.  We went to the Bible Book store…if you can call it that.  Not much of a selection but still it was something.  I bought The Message/NIV parallel Bible for the Romanian.  I think/I hope she’s close to giving her heart completely to the Lord.  I met up with the dentist as she was finishing her brunch with a new friend.  This friend works at the American Embassy so it was some interesting conversation.  The dentist and I were supposed to go see Ghost Town…about another dentist, but it stopped playing yesterday…buhmer.  So we talked about going to see a movie tomorrow instead.

So I went home.  Instead of trying muster up social activities…or go to a club.  I kind of felt that I needed to make it through this night…all on my own.  I slept a little…puttered around on the computer a bit…and went running.  After I walked about a ½ mile to Bennigans for dinner.  Listening to Charles Stanley the whole way.  I figured…I have to keep Seeking God First…and all these things…including relationships…will be added.  So I took my Bible along too.  I take my Bible most places where I eat alone. 

I had earlier texted the Filipina girl…(These are all character names to protect the innocent…lol) and I could have went out with her…but something in my spirit told me to stay home tonight.  So I did.  I wound up chatting most of the night online with this beautiful grad student from Jacksonville.  She even made me laugh outloud a few times…which is hard to do on a computer.  The hours just flew by as I chatted with her.  I hope we can connect again…she was really dynamic…and beautiful…did I mention that.  In the midst of our chat…my children called me back.  I wasn’t able to talk to them for a couple of days…so I dropped everything to focus on them.  They sounded really good.  A few days ago when I talked to them, I was concerned because of their tone.  But this time was different.  They seemed happy.  That is what I want most of all for them.  They all told me about their gifts and what they were going to buy with the money I sent home.  Each of them asked about how my Christmas was…which made me feel good.  Oh…and get this…Lindsey even liked all the jewelry I sent her.  I was very pleasantly surprised about that.  I do love my kids so much. 

After our phone call…I finished up chatting with Ms. Jacksonville…she really intrigues me.  I just looked up and its 12:10 AM almost my bedtime.  It turns out I had a wonderful night.  I didn’t turn on the TV like I had anticipated doing.  Instead, I was able to communicate and just be “content” in the circumstance that God has me placed in.  How long will this circumstance last?…Im not sure…I hope not long…but however the length he’ll give me the strength to face whatever he has called me to do.  Just like he did tonight.  

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Hello Uncle Rick...

What a great day this turned out to be.  I was dreading it a bit, since I missed my kids so much.  Christmas is all about family.  Im missing mine at the moment, but we’ve been over that.  I woke up early and sent my staff all texts with Merry Christmas in their various languages (Hindi, Tagalog, Arabic, etc…)  Then worked out for an hour and immediately afterwards played squash with Baraq for another 90 min.  By the time I was finished I was absolutely knackered but what a great workout it was. 

 

I went over to Tanya’s house a little later for Christmas dinner.  I was a bit uncomfortable at first because I didn’t want them to invite me just because they are being polite or feeling sorry for me.  They know all about my situation and how much I miss the family I used to have.  They invited me as one of their own.  I truly felt welcome.  I scrambled to buy all the sibling’s family and Khalifa gifts, I couldn’t go in empty handed.  So here I am carrying in all these gifts bags and Tanya’s four year old son greets me…”hello Uncle Rick”  That made me feel at ease right away.  There must have 25 Shaheens there with all the kids and grandkids.  There was butler wearing a tuxedo and three maids.  It was a first class (upper class) affair.  This is how the other half lives…and I could get very used to it.  Very very classy.  The food was wonderful too.  Just like our traditional American Christmases.  The conversation and company was top notch.  I brought along a copy of  Twas the Night Before Christmas in Bahrain which I wrote last night and posted on the blog.  They just loved it.  Nadia wanted to read it to all the children before they opened their presents.  There was even chatter of wanting to publish it in the paper.  It made me feel good that they appreciated it.  They even said they wanted to save it to read next year. 

I was touched as they remembered me, and made sure I had something under the tree.  The Shaheen siblings get along so well together.  This is what I envision family being like.  It was nice to be a part of that.  And get this, Khalifa and his ex-wife (the kids mother) were sharing the Christmas meal together.  They were both there.  They actually have become quite good friends.  That is a dream for me.  Im not sure if my ex will ever stop hating me…but I sincerely hope she does so for the sake of the children.  Khalifa and his wife aren’t even Christians, and they get a long fabulously as exes….  We don’t have that excuse. 

After four hours of being totally comfortable, I felt like it was Christmas.  I was truly loved.  The ache in my heart temporarily subsided.  I gratefully said goodbye and went home.  I met up with the Romanian, and again we had a wonderful time.  Lots of flirting but there is no chance of a relationship there.  We are just friends.  We strolled around the Seef Mall and purchased knickknacks and saw a movie.  Rock N Rolla is the latest Guy Ritchie film.  I was a bit disappointed as Ritchie is one of my favorite directors. 

I’m heading to bed early tonight to go to church in the morning.  I tried calling my kids several times last night (Christmas eve) and several times today.  The phone goes straight to voice mail as it must be turned off.  I guess I’m not going to be able to speak to my children on Christmas day.  

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Happy Christmas

It was an interesting day.  I need to learn to temper my highs and lows.  I heard a sermon by T.D. Jakes once.  He was exhorting to not let your highs get too high nor let your lows get too low.  When you get on a high, take some of that emotion deposit it into a bank account and then make a withdrawal when your lows come.  I think its all about even keel.   I haven’t learned the art of that dance yet.  I still go through a bit of extrmes.  I swear Im not bi-polar, I don’t think.  I was thinking about Christmas trying to make it just another day.  I have no decorations up in my house.  And other than sending gifts to my kids, really haven’t done that much. 

So I get in my car to go to lunch.  Not really feeling sad, until I turn on the radio.  John Lennon’s “Happy Christmas” song was playing.  I just started crying for some reason.  I had to pull off to the side of the road.  Now here is the weird part.  I wasn’t really sure why I was crying.  Im not sure if it was a happy “God is so faithful cry” or a “I miss my family” cry.  Either way… it felt a little strange.  I did have a talk with my daughter again.  We’ve talked twice this week.  Nothing really major, just and exchange of information.  Even though it was basic enough, it still made my day.  I do love that girl so, even though our relationship is so different.  Everyone tells me…the children will come back eventually.  You just have to love them…which I do…unconditionally. 

My Christmas party got cancelled tonight…so it looks like its only four parties in five days.  I could have gone to a club tonight, but I decided to stay home, embrace my loneliness…or should I say alone time.  I try not be lonely.  I just have to focus on the positive.  My kids might not be with me…but they are healthy and whole.  That is a blessing right there.  I know God has a plan for this odyssey, that I’m on…I just have to keep the faith.  

Twas the Night before Christmas in Bahrain

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the villa

Not a creature was stirring except my bro Abdullah

The sandals were hung by the space heater with care

In hopes that Kareem Claus would soon be there

The children were nestled all snug in their beds

While visions of Falafells danced in their heads

I in my thobe and Mamma in her abaya

Had just fallen asleep by the imaginary fire

When out in the yard there arose a great matter

I sprang from the bed to see if a Filipino was causing the clatter

Away to the window I flew like a flash

Tore open the mini blinds threw up the sash

I fell forward and chipped my tooth and the enamels

But then I saw a sleigh and 8 tiny camels

With a tiny little driver smelling so good and clean

I knew in a moment it must be St. Kareem

Now Ahmad, Now Hassan, Now Ibrahim, Now Amir,

On Jamal, On Khalil, On Omar, On Yassir

To the top of villa, to the top of restraining wall

Now dash away, dash away, dash away all

And then in twinkiling I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each camel hoof

Down through the maid’s quarters Kareem Claus came with a bound

He must have had lots of arabic coffee cause his feet didn’t hit the ground

He was dressed all in camel fur from his head to his foot

And his thobe wasn’t tarnished with ashes and soot

His eyes how they twinkled his dimples did glisten

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like persimmon

And the thickness under his nose with a big mustache

And beard of his chin was black like the ash

He had a thin face and no real belly

He must have taken a bath because he wasn’t so smelly

He was thin, and skinny a right jolly old muslim

I laughed when I saw him it wasn’t a whim

With a glare from his eye and a swivel of his head

Soon let me know that I hand nothing to dread

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work

And filled all the sandals then turned with a jerk

And laying a finger on the side of nose

And giving a nod and through the maid’s quarters he rose

He sauntered to his sleigh getting ready to split

And his camels got ready to fly after a good spit

I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight

Eid Mubarak, Happy Christmas, Happy Hannukah, and Feliz Navidad and to all a good night….

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Favor, Faithfulness and Hope

It’s strange.  For as bad as my life has been over the past four years…its that good now.   Im on a high…that seems to just go on and on.  Though I do hit a lull every once in a while when I miss my kids.   It just reiterates the faithfulness of God in my life.  I was so racked with emotional pain, I didn’t think I’d ever be happy again.  But here I am…just getting off a great day both at work and from a dinner party.  Lets go chronologically. 

There is a bit of a cash flow concern at work.  Arabs generally don’t pay on time, so we have this huge back log of cash still owed to us.  Nader is a very smart and astute businessman.  He sees the financial forecasts for 2009 and is already preparing for the storm.  We are hoping the financial crunch won’t hit the entertainment and advertising industry.  Historically, movies have always fared well in economic downturns.  People need to escape.  Some moreso now than ever. 

With the crunch in mind.  I visited a retail shop the other day, a  fine art gallery that had old pictures but few of Bahrain.  I made a few inquiries and the manager requested that I set up an appointment.  We brought in a few samples and he was blown away by the quality.  He really thought the pieces were magnificent.  He wants to set up another appointment with his General Manager and the Owner of the Gallery.  They own 15 high-end galleries throughout the Middle East.  He wants to see all our pictures…every single one of them (we have 1.5 million in our archive).  He was interested in doing a straight buy out of the prints (no revenue sharing…whew) and he was interested in purchasing at least 1,000.  Khalifa didn’t want to do the happy dance but I sure did.  If this gig comes through, they would pay upfront and that would certainly help with any cash crunch shortage.  Im just blown away.  God is so faithful.  It like I’m finding his good favor wherever I go.  It certainly makes me not want to stray from the passionate faith that I have in following him now.  He is so faithful as long as we are faithful to him. 

I dropped by another advertising firm we might be using for a client.  The client could go directly to them to make it cheaper…but they aren’t.  So we’ll be the middle man.  While I was there I realized they were a subsidiary of a larger group that also owned a company called the Film Factory.  They are our biggest competitor and really the only viable production company on the Island.  I asked to see the GM and he came down to talk.  He was from the UK.  We had a great chat for about 30 minutes, about production in Bahrain, the past and the future.  I wanted to share my vision of bringing Hollywood and Film Production to Bahrain.   He didn’t want to temper my enthusiasm, but he also cautioned me about being realistic.  He was like…if you can pull it off…more power to you, and I’ll do whatever I can to help.  I think I can pull it off…because I believe its part of my calling here.  God is seemingly setting up everything I do for success or so it seems.    I am going to make a global impact, not by might, not by my power…but God through his spirit will open up all the doors I need.  Like the door for these pictures to be sold.  Before I arrived on the scene KSDI never considered going the retail outlet.  But some of these pictures are simply breathtaking.  So much character.  Khalifa is an artist. 

After work, I was able to go work out for an hour then off to Mo’s for a party.  This was the who’s who of Bahrain under 40 crowd.  I barely fit in age wise…but Im immature for my age, so that helps.    There are so many great people.  Im going to enough of these gatherings where I really am starting to get to know quite a few faces, and remember their names where they remember mine.  This whole party thing is kind of important.  I was kind of apprehensive at first about social engagements.  Most divorced people will tell you that lack of self-confidence is a huge result of a divorce.  My self-esteem was very very low.  It also didn’t help that My ex told me as we were going through the divorce process “I don’t believe in you…your parents don’t believe in you, your friends don’t believe in you…No one believes in you.”  Those words were piercing to my spirit at a very difficult period of my life.  But you know what…God believed in me.  That’s why I was so appreciative of going to Lakewood Church where verbal affirmations of self-worth are so vital.  I needed that in order to start believing in myself again.  I didn’t believe it, but I said it anyway.  Fake it till you make it.  Its just a surreal experience all due to God’s faithfulness.  I have sooooo many people that believe in me now.  That need me to succeed for their sake.  Its an incredible honor and opportunity.  
So tonight at the party, I was full of confidence…and I didn’t drink. So there was no liquid courage at all.  I met some amazing people.  Pilots, bankers, flight attendants,  that’s about it …but there were a lot of pilots and bankers.  Some very interesting people.  This was the cream of the crop, the most influential under 40 crowd in Bahrain.  I am making connections with the over 40 crowd as well through the Shaheens.  So I’m getting to know so many people on the island.  You are always asked what you do here.  When the subject comes to me, I invariable talk about my time in Hollywood, the pain of my divorce, starting over in Bahrain and being filled with hope.  The Hollywood thing really excites most of them.  To me its another city, but to them its an ideal.  I have to honor their curiosity and amazement.  Still its pretty cool.  I met another beautiful flight attendant today…This one is from Australia.  So now…I just have to meet a beautiful girl from South America, and I will have all five continents covered.  I’m very very blessed.  There are lots of people that believe in me now.  I’m good enough….I’m smart enough….and doggone it, people like me.  

Monday, December 22, 2008

Five Parties...Five Days

Christmas Party

It dawned on me this past weekend how many Christmas parties that I had been invited to, yet I didn’t plan one for my office.  So in our staff meeting yesterday, I announced that we’d be having a party at my apartment.  The Filipino girls cheered.  I’m finding Filipinos love any excuse for a part.  So with only a day’s preparation, the girls excitedly prepared the shindig. 

Im feeling a little under the weather, so the girls planned everything.  It was nice seeing everyone socially out of the office.  Having them in my home really meant something special both for them and me.  We all had a great time.  They girls brought so much food.  We ate and ate and ate.  I really like the people I work with.  It is becoming my second family.  After we feasted, we did a gift exchange.  I had everyone show up with a $6-10 gift.  No one had ever done a gift exchange before.  The idea of stealing someone else’s gift was a riot.  Poor Jerilyn, got the gift she loved stolen from her three times.  Now this is a girl, that doesn’t make a lot of money, and sends all of it back home to her son and husband.  Most Filipinos here, are the wage earners for their family.  They have to be here.  Its pretty sad.  Even with America facing the recession, we still don’t have to leave our families for years at a time in order to ensure they have enough food to eat.  I was pretty touched.  Tanya, Khalifa’s daughter, and a very dear friend.  Wound up with the prized “purse” possession that Jerilyn so desperately wanted.  At the end of the party, I saw Jerilyn walking out with the purse on her arm.  Tanya had given it to her.  She and her husband Raimond are just great people.  They have the most adorable kids, 4, and 6 I think.  It so makes me want to have more. 

I am in the midst of five Christmas parties in five days.  Tanya invited me to the Shaheen Christmas party on Christmas day, because she knows I’ll be alone.  I’ll be the only non-Shaheen there.  I feel like the adopted step-son.  Kind of like Oliver on the Brady Bunch.  They are taking good care of me. 

It was a tough day for me emotionally.  The talk of family reunions and the holidays, made me miss my family.  Not just my kids, but the tradition of having a holiday meal, with my uncle, sisters, parents, grandparents.  Its been nearly five years since I had a holiday meal as a family.  You never really appreciate all of that, until you don’t have it anymore.  I was always bored of family gatherings before.  Now nothing seems sweeter that eating cranberry sauce with the people I love.  I know you aren’t supposed to look back, and that God has a plan for my future.  But I miss the family and the life I used to have.  I think Im a little melancholy right now.  I talked to my kids the other day.  I talk to them about once a week.  You know how you know your family so well..that you can tell what they are thinking and feeling without ever having to use words?  I tell my acting students all the time, that 80% of communication is non-verbal.  Well when you can’t read body language, you have to rely upon tones and inflections to pick up sub-text of the conversation.  The kids words made it seem like they were ok…but I sensed something different.  Im not really sure what it was.  Maybe they just missed me as much as I miss them.  Our relationship is changing unfortunately.  But I could sense something wasn’t right with them and other than prayer…im powerless to do anything about it.    I feel like Im living and breathing in a Harry Chapin song and im trapped.  Cats in the Cradle always made me cry to begin with.  Now my life seems to be mirroring it.  Yet…I know I’m in the center of God’s will as surely as I’ll take my next breath.  Why did God call me away from my family?  Im not sure I’ll ever know the answer to that.  But I just have to keep the faith…that God will protect them as surely as he is protecting me. 

Please keep me in your prayers…I feel like Im under heavy spiritual attack again, both emotionally and physically.  That must mean, I’m doing something right.  

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Disappearance and the Dentist

Interesting day today.  I say that a lot don’t I?  Well most of the days are interesting.  I wore a tie into work today because I had a meeting.  Most of the time, I dress smart casual, which is slacks, nice pair of shoes, and a dress shirt.  So I’m in my office early and Simi, our wonderful Indian office manager came into my office and jumped because the tie startled her.  She wasn’t used to seeing me like that.  It was pretty funny. 

So I had been working on a project with a difficult client.  He was a “I have to have it by yesterday” type.  So I finished a project for him in three days and it was a lot of work to do it.  Then I didn’t hear from him for three weeks.  We spoke last week, and he said he was moving on to a different company.  So his boss’ boss, the GM calls me and wants to set up a meeting as quickly as possible.  So we go over there and one of the first thing he asks…why isn’t our project completed and why did you miss the deadlines?  Wha????????   I wanted to point to the guy in the middle and say…because that guy, your employee wouldn’t return my phone calls….But I refrained…I stammered and came up with an excuse.  So we decided to leave the water under the bridge and move on from there.  I think I get an A for diplomacy and I hope the guy in the middle appreciates that I didn’t throw him under the bus…as much as I wanted to do so. 

While in the meeting I got a text from a girl I met at church.  We visited at the Christmas banquet.  I was surprised she texted me, because I never gave her my number.  She said she got it from a friend.  She invited me and a few others out to drinks at Upstairs Downstairs.  That is one of the nicest restaurants in Bahrain, where I won the free dinner and took Romanian #1. So after work, I meet her and apparently her friends couldn’t make it.  That’s OK…I wanted just to talk to her anyway.  The Dentist…as will be her monicker, is British, but grew up in Bahrain, her dad is a pilot.  This girl is super smart, a real intellectual.  She quit being a dentist in order to go to medical school, which she is halfway through.  She took a break to move from England back home to Bahrain.  By the way…she is really pretty too.

So we just had a really nice night chatting.  Last night at the party, I met George, a great guy who happens to be one of the Owner’s of the restaurant.  I had one of the wait staff go get him.  He joined us for drinks and visited with us for about 30 minutes.  That’s the type of island it is here.  So open and so friendly.  He bought us our next round of drinks.  And gave us a private tour of the Grand Palace Suite in his restaurant, where it’s luxury in style.  This place is a six star restaurant. 

So the dentist and I had some pretty intense conversations.  A real heart to heart Im sure she was not prepared for.  It was a cool feeling…Im certain the Holy Spirit was speaking through me to encourage her.  Its nice when you have the words and you know that you are being used specifically by God.  We chatted for nearly two and half hours.  It was really nice.  We’re supposed to meet up again on Friday for dinner and a movie.  I told her I had to take her to “Ghost Town” which is a film about a discontented dentist.  It was neat, afterwards it was too late to get my run in, so I road the stationary bike instead.  While riding, I was listening to a Podcast of Charles Stanley, about being content in all circumstances.  The sermon was exactly for her.  Its not coincidence on the day we meet, I just so happen to hear a sermon specifically designed for her circumstances.  Once again, its very cool to know you are being used of God. 

I told the staff earlier in the day at our company meeting I was going to host a Christmas party in my apartment.  Its certainly large enough to do so.  I think that’s why God directed me to get such a huge nice place, so I could use my gift of hospitality.  Everyone got so excited about the party, especially the Filipino girls.  They just love a chance to get together to laugh and socialize.

 

Everyday…little by little…this place feels more like home…If I had my children…then I’d already be home.  

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Eastern Bloc and Christmas Parties

OK…I think Im getting popular around here. That sure helps in the loneliness department. Beautiful Romanian #2 wanted to go to the mall with three of her other flight attendant trainees. So here I was, driving four stunning Eastern Bloc girls (2 Romanians, Czech, Russian) to the mall. Tough life for a missionary eh… Am I missionary? The more Im here the more convinced that I am. I freely talk about my faith all the time. For those of you who freak out about sharing their faith or are intimidated by witnessing, let me give you one little hint. You generally talk about whatever you are most passionate about. That could be body building, sports, entertainment, shopping etc. So if you want to make witnessing to others easier…just become much more passionate about your walk…that way sharing your faith will come much more natural to you. Witnessing should be easy and effortless. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Now for me its second nature.

I spent most of the day with Romanian #2, she is a beautiful girl…but very very young, 25 (Can I get arrested for that?) But I’m thinking younger is better. If I ever do get married again, I think I would want to start another family. The best child raising years have been taken from me. I feel a little like Job…and that God will restore to me what I’ve lost. Im still hopeful that my relationship with my kids would be restored. I so would love them to come over and live with me, but that would take an act of God. I know they would be happy and thrive over here. I know I could give them a good solid, Godly influence. I just have to keep trusting and believing. I did talk to my Daughter today. It was wonderful. I love that kid so much. I also talked to my youngest. My kids are fantastic, I’m blessed to have them in my life. I just hate the fact that they had to endure the pain of this divorce. They are the innocent ones. But if God is working out his plan in my life, I know he is working out something in theirs.

I got invited to the first of 5 Christmas parties over the next five days. Its cool, im starting to recognize people and become more comfortable in these social situations. I am meeting some amazing and very interesting people. One girl I met from Chicago today, was trying to guess my age, she couldn’t believe it when I told her 40. She would have guessed 30. Thank God Im a late bloomer. I can still remember the five or six of us late bloomers huddled up in the locker room during Jr. High so the early bloomers wouldn’t make fun of us. I guess the whole youth thing is paying dividends now. Im also trying to take care of myself. Im probably the fittest I’ve been in 15 years. Being alone, I have lots of time to work out and exercise.

The party was great, both from a business networking standpoint, and social standpoint. Bahrain is a very small island. Its really possible to get to know…almost everyone. It’s a very unique cultural and social opportunity. For example most everyone I meet is familiar with the Khalifa and his sons and daughters. That makes business much easier. Soon those same people will know the adopted step son of the Shaheen family, Rick.

Im very fortunate and very blessed. God was right when he told me “Seek First the Kingdom of God, and all these things will be added unto you.” I just needed to be a little more patient. I can see everything being added to me almost on a daily basis. I’m so determined to keep the faith so I don’t muck anything up.

I think I’m becoming the most optimistic guy on the face of the planet again. I might have been knocked of my horse of hope and scrambled in the mud of despair for a few years. But I’ve saddled up and ready to gallop into the land of promise and opportunity again. All due to God’s faithfulness. Wow…Im blessed.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Bible Study and Another Romanian...

Another interesting day in Paradise.  Is this place paradise?  It seems like it.  My sister did her honeymoon in The Maldives, which is supposed to be exquisitely beautiful.  People travel from all over the world to experience their white sand beaches and crystal blue waters.  This is what the waters of the Persian Gulf look like on this island.  The only difference is that this beauty is undeveloped.  There are no public beaches here.  I guess when you live on a small island, the idea of going to the beach is a little passé.  Its like how many San Franciscans do you know go down Lombard street.  I still have yet to go the Winchester Mystery House…because its right there.  Everything is a beach here.  I think if Bahrain re-marketed itself as a tourist destination, this could easily become a global popular hotspot.  Who knows, maybe if I can help the Ministry of Economic Development establish a film industry here, I could be a part of creating more of a tourist industry here as well. Cannes Part Deux,  I know if marketed properly, this could be a dream vacation spot.  The Ritz Carlton Hotel (where I was tonight…more on that below) is one of the World’s greatest resort hotels. 

I went to church today and took along Reji, my associate.  Its really cool…because I am an answer to one of Reji’s prayers and a prophetic word.  God has a calling on his life.  His pastor told him that things would be happening with his ministry.  His pastor also told him it would happen by the end of December.  Reji, believes that my arrival and my passion for my faith and ministry is that answer to prayer.  He is going to help me set up my Bible Study.  Reji, I think spoke a prophetic word over me.  Im not really comfortable in sharing it publicly right now…but if you want to email me I’ll share it with you.  It was something that God had put on his heart.  The strange thing is, its what God put on my heart and on the hearts of a few other people.  The reason why Im having this angst…is that I have a plan now for my life.  And if this word comes to pass it would alter it a bit..  In a good way.  But still…im just getting into a routine, and accepting of my great circumstances, to alter the course now, seems a bit disconcerting.  Then God spoke to me…Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you.  So I shouldn’t worry about the petty details.  God is in control…and he’s setting up everything for me.  He is directing my steps…so I have to remain faithful to that.  My job is to Seek first…I know the rest will take care of itself. 

Speaking of handling all the details.  Pastor Graeme and I had a great lunch.  I really opened up and told him EVERYthing about my life, in as few details as possible…but some of the details were pertinent.  If he is considering me to lead a Bible study, then I felt I should be absolutely honest about everything in my life…even my mistakes and regrets.  By the way…I am an open book about the mistakes of my past.  I think its part of my testimony.  Im a bit reluctant to share the gory details here because I never know who reads this.  But if you want to know…I have no problems sharing what God has delivered me from because its part of my testimony.  Just email rickbeeman@mac.com

So it was confirmation speaking with Graeme.  He had been praying with the board for a few months about someone to lead the Juffair group, and here I show up.  So I was an answer to prayer on two counts today.  That makes me feel like there is something extremely special about my calling.  I really think that God is going to some amazing things..both through the media and through interpersonal contacts.  Im starting to get to know quite a lot of people on the island.  Its just a different atmosphere.  Because of the itinerant nature of the people here (Navy, Gulf Air, Banking) it almost feels like a giant college campus.  I am having more and more fun everyday.  The fact that, Im advancing God’s kingdom, making a cultural impact, and making money…Wow…does it get much better than that?  Yes…it does…

So the Romanian (who swears she just wants to be friends…and I’ve accepted that…she is a very sweet girl) Invited me to Trader Vic’s at the Ritz Carlton with a few of her friends.  She introduced me to Romanian #2…Wow…do they know how to make em in Romania.  This girl is beautiful.  She just arrived and is in training for Gulf Air to be an attendant.  It was nice to talk to someone else that is beautiful and intelligent. 

This sure beats a hut in Africa…I’m glad God called me to this life.  Seek First….

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Cool Revelations

Im very proud of my crew today. We’ve had five weddings in four days and two of those days were national holidays and a weekend day . They are working so many overtime hours, yet they all seem to have a great attitude. A typical Arabic wedding is a ladies only affair. The only man is usually the groom. There really isn’t a formal starting time. The ladies most of the time start milling in around 8-9. And the wedding usually gets started around 10:30. The meal is around 1. I say around because there really isn’t a set time. After the ceremony, the ladies dance and party away to the wee hours of the morning til 4 or 5 or even 7. I think the traditional Arabic ladies spend so much time behind the veil, these wedding are their opportunity to let their hair down so to speak. Their gowns they wear to these events are certainly extravagant. Its just a really cool thing to be a part of. Im in the back with the video switcher just observing and hiding because I’m man. For events like this…the men in the crew have to be behind the scenes and not seen while our all-female crew is in the forefront. Actually we’re not even supposed to have male editors look at the piece. But its hard enough finding all female photographers/videographers here. Imagine how challenging it would be to find an all female editing team in the Middle East. So we always hold our breath and hope the traditional clients don’t ask, who is editing my piece. They take weddings very seriously here. They spend tens of thousands of dollars on them. I know weddings are expensive in the U.S. but they spend about 3-4 times more on their weddings in the Middle East than they do in the West. Family is very important and very sacred here. With that said…I didn’t come over here to oversee a wedding production company. They have been doing this for so long, it’s a major source of KSDI’s revenue. Im starting to bring in other revenue, but its going to take about 2-3 more months, for the cash to start rolling in. Our revenue from weddings now is about 80% of our income, In about a year, I anticipate that figure to be 20% as we open other revenue generating streams.

I was listening to a Podcast of my home church in Livermore and Pastor Steve Madsen. He said something that really opened my eyes about my own situation right now. He warned the congregation that it was only a theory and to take it with a grain of salt. Steve explained that some theologians believed Paul was a divorced man. Paul was a Pharisee that was being groomed to be on the Sanhedrin. For that he would have had to have been married. He also would have had to have children, specifically boys according to the Jewish customs of the day. We don’t hear anything about Paul and his wife or children, except he does write the love chapter in Corinthians 13. And he also seems to know a lot about marriage when he writes to the Ephesians. So he must have experienced love and a family, because you write what you know. He also claims that it is good for him to be single, but better for a man to take a wife if he can’t overcome temptation. Paul was probably married and his wife most likely divorced/left him because of his following of the gospel. He went from being Saul of Tarsus…the wealthy, the up and comer, to the guy that was converted and later persecuted going from prison to prison. The theologians believe that his wife might have left him then because he was not the same man she had originally married. Paul said in Phillipians 3:8 “More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ.” Part of that loss, other than money and prestige was his family.

Now…please don’t misunderstand me. Im not equating myself with Paul. But our experiences hold many parallels. I was a missionary in Saudi Arabia..married in 2005 when my wife left me and later divorced me. Paul was also Educated…Well…I can say I do well on Jeopardy every once in awhile and I do have a degree hanging on my wall, He was also a type of lay missionary, a tent maker. A professional that used his skill to partially finance his missionary journeys. Im using my creative skill to finance my current missionary journey. Paul changed the world after he lost everything by making a choice to obey God’s call. The parallels between our stories are really cool. I lost everything too when I was on my second missionary journey (the first was with my family in Taiwan in 2003) in Saudi Arabia by obeying God’s call. Paul traveled around the Middle East too. Now that I’m on my third missionary journey (Bahrain) I can see how God is just about to use my skills to enact a great change in people’s lives. I’m already (by the grace of God)having an impact. With all the potentially major things happening with the media, the divine appointments God is setting me up with, I could make a significant global impact as well. All for the glory of God, mind you. I hope none of this comes across as egotistical. Im just a tool being used to spread the Gospel. Its just that the gifts that God has given me allow me to Broadcast that message to even more people. Im humbled. Im just hoping that God doesn’t call me to a single life like he did Paul. This what Paul Said about being single in 1 Corinthians 7: 8I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. 9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

I don’t want to burn…bring me a wife quick God please…I certainly don’t want to be like Paul that way. Lol….

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Bible Studies and Dinner Parties

We had another day off today because of National Day, they call it Day (Singular) but it’s a two day holiday.  Its just funny and cool watching people hand out their windows while they are driving around honking, waving flags and screaming.  Not too safe, but funny nonetheless.  Lots of spirit here. 

You might remember god placing on my heart to start a Bible Study.  I was trying to put a whole bunch of pressure on myself, How, where am I going to find people, do I need to solicit.  But God told me, not to worry about it and leave all the details up to him.  Actually everything about my anxieties Im supposed to leave to him.  I planned my way here…God is directing my steps, every single one of them.  I don’t really have to sweat a thing.  That includes the emotional/lonely part too…more on that in a bit.  I was speaking with the pastor of my church today, and expressing my interest in starting a home group/Bible Study.  He said they already have one half formed in Juffair (My district) that just needs a leader.  Whoa…I really didn’t have to do anything for that.  Im meeting with the Pastor on Friday after the service to talk about the details.  I also have been in contact with my former Pastor, Jim Lewis, head of the men’s ministries at Lakewood.  And Lakewood is going to be sending me materials to help out with the study.  You can’t come across too heavy with the Muslims or non-practicing muslims (there are a string of cars, passing by my apartments, honking their cars and waving their flags…Its awesome).  So Joel Osteen’s light approach might be perfect.  When Jim was endorsing me to the ministry department, he mentioned “This is a great success story.”  That made me feel kind of good.  From the Hell that I’ve been through the past four years…to where I am now…I think Im living proof of God’s grace and faithfulness.  (more cars passing by now).  Look, I just turned 40, moved to a different country and am about to embark on a life which God had been preparing for me professionally for 20 years.  Im starting over with a world of opportunity out in front of me.  Im so optimistic.  I used to be accused of being Pollyannaish.  Now, Im a more of a seasoned or weathered Pollyanna.  Its Life…Take 2.  Take 1 was great except for 3 of the last 4 years, and I think God is setting up Take 2 to be even better.  As the aforementioned Joel Osteen might say, 2009 is going to be my best year ever.  I believe it and claim it to be. 

Im getting more and more comfortable with my solitude.  What used to scare me, now im learning to embrace.  Be comfortable with myself and my alone time.  I know I’ll have someone to have in my life to love soon…Who…Im not really sure, but Im kind of hoping that God doesn’t call me to a life of being single.  But even if he did, im sure he would give me the necessary strength I need to endure whatever situation I  would be placed.  I just can’t envision him calling me to be alone. 

I got invited to a dinner party and Nabs house.  Nabs is the guy that is going to the North Pole in December.  He invited about 12 of his friends over.  It was nice being able to talk and socialize in a non-club like setting.  He was mentioning that he attended a fund raising luncheon with a couple of supporters.  They were talking about doing a documentary of his Trek.  One of the ladies…was excitedly  going on and on about how this new “Hollywood” director has come to Bahrain…and Nabs said…Oh you mean…Rick.  She said…yeah…you know him?  So I guess this island is small enough for the reputation to spread.  We are doing a big PR Campaign push in January announcing my arrival and KSDI emphasis into film and TV. 

Lots of exciting things happening.  By the way…If you would like to send this blog to a friend…please feel happy to.  If you are regular reader, please sign in, or become a follower.  You can anonymously follow if you like.  I need a total of 20 followers to be a rated blog which will access more search engines.  I want this blog to be a blessing to whomever might need it.  I love when I get comments and responses from people I don’t even know.  Its all very encouraging.  

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

National Day and Chats with God.

What a very cool day it was.  It’s a national holiday here for the next two days.  Its National Day of Bahrain, which is essentially their version of the Fourth of July.  It celebrates when the Khalifa family came to the monarchy.  Everything is decorated in red and white national colors.  It looks a bit like Christmas decorations.  It certainly is festive.  There are a lot of car horns honking.  Young kids hanging out the windows of cars waving their Bahraini flags, cheering and hollering.  Its all quite exciting and festive.  I just love living here.  I was mentioning to someone earlier today, that it feels like Im on a well paid vacation.  Im living in an exotic land, meeting interesting people from all over the world, Im making an impact in people’s lives, and I love what I do.  Things are pretty darn special for me right now.  Yes, I do have my down days when I miss my kids or bemoan the pain and struggle of my divorce.  I air those emotions quite frequently on this blog as you can see.  I’ve always been a heart on my sleeve type of person.  What you see is what you get.  So if my blogs seem to be contradictory, I understand the confusion.  I aspire to be what God wants me to be, but I still struggle with the flesh and those emotions of being selfish.  Hopefully my honest will help some of you out there.  Its like when you see someone and say How are you?  They are prepared for the pat answer and nothing else.  If someone asks me that, I usually don’t even reply, I’ll just say hello.  But if im having a bad day, I’ll say, Im doing pretty dang lousy.  Its funny, they usually never know how to react to that.  They don’t know if they should say, Im sorry, or what’s wrong, or can I help.  They usually don’t care how Im really doing.  So they just kind of ignore it.  It’s kind of funny everytime that it happens. 

I was having a great talk with God this morning.  By the way…I was meditating one day in Texas about two years ago.  Since my divorce I’ve learned to hear and recognize God’s voice.  Its very clear and I know its him.  Meanwhile, my friends I was encouraging, were complaining that it was hard for them to hear from God.  So one day, God told me to look in the mirror.  Just to stare at myself.  It was weird, because before, I could never look in the mirror for more than 10 seconds at myself I guess because I didn’t like what I saw.  So here I was staring at myself for about five minutes and God spoke very clearly to me.  He said “Tell them to look in the mirror.”  Then the impressions from God came flooding over me.  If people are having a hard time hearing from God, the mirror is a tool that you can use to help you hear from God.  (It’s not a magic, Mirror mirror on the wall thing, It’s just a tool).  So God told me, If people are having a hard time hearing my voice tell them to use the mirror as a tool to listen to me.  When you talk to God by looking in the mirror it does three things:  1. You have to be honest with yourself by looking yourself in the eye.  If there is any sin in your life, God cannot speak to you, because sin blocks your relationship with God.  So if you think you are hearing from God, and you are living your life in Sin…watch out because that probably isn’t God’s voice you are hearing.  So by looking at yourself, you confess all your sins and clear your mind to get ready to hear from God.   2. It eliminates distraction and helps you to focus.  3.  If the eyes are the window to the soul, and God lives inside of you, Aren’t you in a sense looking at God through your own eyes.

Well this really works.  I suggest that all of you give it a try to see if it works for you.  It’s a powerful tool.  Though I’d recommend that you do it in the privacy of your own bathroom.  If you use the company bathroom to do it, you might get some looks.  For me, I’ve been doing it for so long, its like an hotline straight from God, as easy as flipping a light switch.  If I am having a issue, quick, someone get me to a mirror, I have to talk to God.  Try it…see if you come up with the same results. 

So God spoke to me today as he does so often.  He reiterated to me not to worry about my loneliness or emotional needs.  Again he told me:  Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you.  That means to me, don’t worry, be faithful and God has my back.  Its pretty simple really.  The Romanian and I spent the day together, and just remarked how life is designed to be so simple.  We make things more complicated with our own self-centered tendencies.  Please keep praying for the people Im witnessing to over here. God is really using me.  Im convinced that God is working with the Romanian, and she is really close to giving her heart over to God completely.  She already trusts and prays to him, I don’t think she ever said the sinners prayer.  She says that God has always been inside of her.  Why?  Because she had grandparents that prayed for her everyday.  Never ever discount the power of prayer.  It changes lives even the lives that aren’t necessarily ready to be changed.  That’s why your continued prayers for my children, will be heard and answered by God. 

The Romanian and I laugh a lot.  We went to see Ghost Town, With Greg Kinnear in the cinema.  Great great comedy.  I heartily recommend it.  And Afterward we went to an Iranian restaurant around the corner from my house.  We ordered two appetizers, Humus is great here, I had lamb chops, she had chicken.  They brought us so much food…and the bill….$15.  For a nice restaurant. 

It’s another day off tomorrow.  I got invited to a guy by the name of Nabs, birthday party.  Im honored that he invited me.  Nabs as I mentioned last night is in training to be the first Arab to reach the North Pole.  Apparently its quite physically strenuous.   I have to bring drinks and a friend.  It should be even more opportunity to meet people.  Im getting connected socially and professionally here.  It feels great.

After dinner The Romanian and I came back to watch my movies on my website (http://homepage.mac.com) if you want to see them too.  She is so interested in my work and wants to see everything I’ve ever done.  Its quite an ego boost.  Yet even though we still get along great.  We reiterated, we are still friends.  I wonder if that is going to last.  Im starting to meet some very interesting people, both online and around Bahrain.  Well…I just have to Seek First…and everything else will be sorted out.  By the way, I love it when you leave comments on my blog.  Plus feel free to forward the link (http://rickbeeman.blogspot.com) to whomever you think might be interested in it.  

Monday, December 15, 2008

Karaoke and loads of new friends...

What an amazing day it is has been. First of all..I feel like Im partially living in a dream, and partially living in a really poorly written soap opera. I must say the outpouring of support I’ve gotten has been really encouraging.

I must be doing something worthwhile out here…because it seems like the spiritual attacks are absolutely non-stop. It’s a strange sensation. When I have a cloud of heaviness that surrounds me…and I try to “Osteen” it away. (that means think good happy thoughts) Sometimes the cloud doesn’t lift immediately. Then inexplicably, the cloud lifts and the son shines through again. Its at that moment, I feel the prayers of others physically impacting my life. It’s a great great feeling. So thank you for your continued prayers for me and my children.

I went to our church’s Christmas party last night. It was really nice, meeting grown ups…lol. Most of the people I’ve met have revolved around the club scene. So this was a pleasant diversion. I like being around other like-minded Christians as well. Iron sharpens iron and you have to surround yourself with strong people. I was speaking with the pastor Graeme, wanting clarifcation of his .01% of Bahrain are Christians. He was referring to Bahraini Christians, not expat transplants. I asked him where he got his figures, he said…”I counted them...there are about 50.” I thought that was pretty funny, but not far fetched at all. This is such a tiny island, it really is possible to get to know many many people. The longer I’m here, the more people Im meeting on a daily basis. I just have to be patient. I met a lovely girl, named Natalie, a red-headed German that seemed to be about my age. She was a dentist. Being the new guy, they are always interested in hearing your story, my testimony if you will. So I tell them the same thing usually. The last three years have been tough, but God sees you through, he’s faithful, my intimacy has never been stronger…so on and so forth. Natalie, was a little bit surprised, thinking I was holding back. She wanted me to be honest with…she said…but how are you doing…really. I honestly replied, Im doing great. Though I have my occasional bad days, but don’t we all. I explained, when you are walking according to God’s ways, he has this uncanny nature to shield you from the emotional assaults that happen in life. As most of you know, I’ve had some really “sucky” things happen to me the last decade or so. But when I’m walking according to God’s ways, that just washes off of me like water off a duck’s back. I think that’s the plan. Yet, when I’m not walking according to God’s plan, those things start gnawing at me, really bothering me. I start thing, I deserve better, I’ve been wronged, I should be happy, I am right…the more I’s say, the more miserable I become. That’s why when Im under the umbrella of God’s protection, the rains of life don’t get me wet. They are just casually brushed off. So I have to remember to stay under God’s umbrella all the time. I think the Enemy’s greatest tactic is when he convinces us that we deserve to be self-centered. Justification is a dangerous thing.

Mo invited me out to Karaoke Idol at the Irish Pub tonight. It was great fun, though my clothes reek of smoke now. It was just a pleasant change. The singers were all quite good. I had an amazing conversation with a guy, I can’t remember his name, but he’s in training to be the first Arab to go to the North Pole. Its pretty ambitious. I saw his promo video a few weeks back and it was very well done. We just connected. He’s going to have one of his dinner parties and he invited me and a guest to come along. I guess I have to find a girl since it’s a pre-requisite.

I also had a chance to meet a local actress Angel (Irish girl) and her husband Robert. These are two lovely and very interesting people. She wanted my feedback on her work with Bahraini TV. While Angel has natural talent, I was shocked at the poor production value of this state run station. Like I told Angel, you might look great in an evening gown, but when you get in the old beaten up, rusted out chevy cavalier, it tends to ruin the whole look. But still she has talent and I think she’ll go somewhere. If nothing else, I’d probably hire her for KSDI. But that is probably months down the road. Its strange, once I mention that I’ve worked in Hollywood, people respond to it. They like that fact. I heard at the party, after I met someone new, he said…”Oh you are the Hollywood guy that Jaco told me about. I’ve been wanting to meet you.

I also met this other guy, who is doing Powerboat racing and wants KSDI to be his exclusive production company.

To top it all off, I picked up the Romanian from the airport. Its nice to have someone you can laugh with. I need more of that. She had been in Bahrain this morning, flew to London and came back same day. She was pretty exhausted. Still it was great to see her again. She had a very interesting take on the whole drama situation. Her take was the same take I was feeling and so many other’s that talked to me about it. That’s God for you…to reiterate that you are hearing his voice, he’ll repeat its 2-3 times in the day through various people/sources. There are several litmus tests that you can give yourself to find out if its God’s voice. One easy one is, that if that voice contradicts scripture, you know its not of God. The whole listening to God thing is not as easy as I make it out to be. But practice gets us closer to where He wants us to be.  

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Who needs Hollywood?

I didn’t get much sleep last night.  The drama is ramping up again.  You’d think halfway around the world I’d be away from it. 

It wasn’t five minutes after I posted the blog that I get a call from my ex-wife.  It was strange.  I hadn’t heard her voice in nearly a year (she refuses to take my calls).  In a strange sick and twisted way it was actually nice to hear her voice again.  It was soothingly reminiscent of an earlier happier time.    Does that make me mental?  I do care about her still, very much so and I will probably for the rest of my life.  I never say anything bad about her in the presence of the kids.  She is their mother and she should be respected as much.  She also is an amazingly talented and intelligent woman.  We have three wonderful kids and if there was that much discord during our marriage certainly it would have showed up in the children.  I think she and I could have probably worked through things with proper communication.  Can’t all conflicts be resolved with honest and fair communication.  We only spoke for a few brief minutes when I heard new hubby #2 delivering a screaming profanity laced tirade against me in the background and then the phone was promptly hung up. 

I hate the fact that my kids have to go through this.  It’s not fair…they are so innocent.  Yes I am concerned about them…Im their father and I always will be.  The actions of the past two months, how God has been working in my life, proves to me that coming back to the Middle East to finish what I began in 2005 in Saudi, was absolutely divinely directed.  If that’s the case, I have to trust that God will take care of them.  If I had my way, they’d all be out here with me…living a dream life.  But the legal system doesn’t work that way.  So I’ll just try to make the best of a hard situation.   Your prayers as always are coveted. 

So I made my deadline and Mo the client came in to look at it.  He liked our first version better.  His version was really hip and cool, totally matched his personality.  But when you are creating, you have to know your audience and then tailor your message to meet your audiences direct expectations.  The first video did that. 

I was a little concerned about cash flow when I came on board as GM.  Bottom line I have to increase the bottom line.  The first month was learning, adapting, creating marketing strategies and plans, buying equipment and adding/training key personnel.  I anticipated the revenue from the new marketing material we are creating to start trickling in around months 3-4.  But we’ve had a ton of work the past two weeks and we are going to finish December with a near record month.  We are sooooo busy.  Its good, because the marketing material is still half way done and we have two people about to join staff.  Once, Guy comes on board in a week or so (he has to renew his Passport).  The sky really is the limit for this company.  God has certainly shown his favor upon me.  And with the struggling global economy, I’m very grateful for that.   

God has placed me here in a very unique time, because of my unique qualifications, to create a major impact.  I may talk a good game, about trying to change the world, but I believe you have to speak it out in order to receive it. So I try to speak out whenever I can.  Its not from a place of ego…its from a place of hope and expectation.   I apologize to you readers who may be offended by some of the negativity in this blog.  It is a healing outlet for me.  And from what I’ve read from those who email me…its helpful to you too.  I wish I would have had something like this before everything fell apart.  But if I can help one person avoid the pain and disappointment that I experienced…it wouldn’t make it all worth it…but it would help a whole lot. 

Im going to our church’s Christmas banquet in a few minutes at a local country club.  It will be refreshing to meet like minded Christians.  Iron sharpens iron, and I certainly need more Iron in my diet. 

Thanks for your continued prayers for my children.  And if you ever want to tell me what you think, if I’m overstepping my bounds in any way, I’m always open to constructive criticism…

Peace…