"I see White People"

I see white people

OK…I swear im not racist, even though I talk about races all the time.  Truth is my best friends in the world, one is an Iraqi, the other Taiwanese, the other Mexican, the last a black guy and I work with Indians and Arabs.  I really ought to find an Eskimo friend…then I would have the circle complete.  Im fortunate that I grew up in such a multi-cultural environment .  I guess the main difference between the Middle East and America, is that racism is accepted as part of the culture here whereas in American there is the goal to eradicate it.  Perhaps its because everyone in America considers themselves…an American…African American, Chinese American, Mexican American…  Whereas here…you are Sri Lankan, Indian, and you are only here to work…eventually you will go back home.  Rarely do expats make a full time residence here whereas in America they do. 

So the church…was a little traditional, small town type of church.  About a hundred people.   It was a teaching church (which I like) and the pastor had a good sense of humor.  They did the worship at the end of the service, which I actually kind of liked.  Again, im spoiled with churches as I think Cornerstone in Livermore, and Lakewood in Houston are amongst the best churches in the world. 

Im so fortunate that so many people are emailing me about this blog and other items.  I feel bad, because im way late in responding to all of them.  But know that I will, and the encouragement means a lot to me. 

On of these days, im going to blog about the perils of online dating.  OK, I’ll start a little now.  Im so ready for a relationship.  Other than being alone, my life is almost perfect out here save for the strained relationship with my kids which contributes to the loneliness.  If I did have my kids out here and someone to love…I do think I would certifiably be the happiest man in the world.  Right now…im just pretty darn joyful, content and excited about the future.  I just long to have someone to share that with. 

So rather than meet someone at a club…I am loathe to do that.  I try online, either facebook, or one of the Christian dating sites.  Now, this really plays into my strength since I am a writer.  The problem is…who you are chatting with may not always appear to be who they actually are.  I got quite emotionally close to a girl…who later revealed that she was using her friend’s picture.  When I saw her picture…well…I decided that being a little superficial might not be all bad.  Another girl I really liked, because she was both beautiful and intelligent.  Yet her pictures were almost too perfect…I just found out that she was using a model’s pictures as her own.  I think I saw the girl in a catalogue.   The funniest story…was I was chatting with a Beautiful, blonde, Brilliant, Buddhist psychotherapist from Chicago.  She was really engaging and insightful.  A few weeks later I started chatting with another beautiful blonde buddist psychotherapist student, from Chicago.  Amazing coincidence right?  So a few weeks later…I asked (im not sure how we got on the subject) if she ever kissed a girl…and she responded yes at a New Year’s party.  A week or so later…the other girl mentioned she was a bit wild at last year’s New years party.  Ummm….Laura…do you know Steph?  “Omigod….” Turns out the beautiful, blonde, brilliant, Buddhist Psychotherapists from Chicago were also another B-Bisexual and were partners with each other.  What are the odds…?  So I thought it was pretty funny.  Actually we are all still pretty good chat buddy/friends.

The online community is such a sub-culture.  Its nice having it…especially when I communicate with so many friends back home in the U.S.  It helps me feel more connected and less alone.  I met couple of interesting prospects online…and now I’m getting scared…what if indeed I fall for one of them.  Logistically that would be challenging.  Its also weird and im a little scared about falling in love again.  I never ever ever thought I’d have to love another woman other than my ex.  The whole dating scene…meeting someone, the superficial conversations at first, trust… it’s a heck of a lot of work.  What I want is just intimacy…emotional not physical.  And that takes time do build.  So if you are married look into your spouses eyes and tell them how much your appreciate them.  I miss that…A LOT.  But im sure God has a plan…and im supposed to wait it out.  When I rush God…it tends to muck up the system.  I just have a hard time learning and sticking with the whole “wait on God concept.”  We all have weaknesses…and that is one of mine.