The most wonderful time of the year?

Eid Mubarak…

 So its Eid, and I have three days off.  I was trying to get a wire transfer in back to the states before the holiday tomorrow.  We are ordering about $15,000 worth of equipment.  Its cheaper to order it from New York.  So I wanted to get the order in, so while the office was closed…it would still be in the process of being shipped..so I would feel a little productive.  Our local bank branch was open…so I got excited…but the main branch was closed.  The main branch won’t open til Thursday, but then our affiliate branch will be closed then…Confusing…yeah…I think so.  Bottom line, I rushed and rushed to get the order but now..with everything stopping on the Island…it won’t get done til next Sunday. 

We had a sheikha (member of the Royal Family) order a wedding today.  That was kind of exciting.  Weddings and digital photography has been the bread and butter of KSDI, but I see that changing.  I think our future will be in web development, corporate video and ultimately feature films.  We’ll always do weddings, but I think that might fade into the background of priorities for us.

The Romanian, texted me from Paris, saying she was so excited about Christmas as it was beautiful in France with the decorations.  That got me to thinking.  Now…don’t go thinking, im the Grinch or anything…but the thought of Christmas kind of depresses me.  Now…Christmas used to be my most favorite day in the entire world…ever since I was a child.  I didn’t just love Christmas…I went nuts over it.  Then when I had kids, the excitement turned to warmth and sentimentality.  I so cherished what Christmas meant and loved experiencing it again through my children’s eyes.  But now…(and I know this is wrong)…Christmas to me reminds me of what I lost.  I don’t have it to experience with my children any more like I used to.  The magic for me has been replaced with what was lost.  Im so sad about that.  Im so sad when I read and hear how devastating divorce is on children.  I hate the fact that I couldn’t save my marriage for their sake.  Im a little upset that I’ve been replaced.  

Today was a bad day, as I reminisced on what used to be.  But God spoke to me…that’s one of the down sides of having a free will…sometimes people make choices that go against his plan.   He did also tell me…that he has a great alternate plan for my life…not just professionally, but emotionally as well.  I just have to have enough faith to trust him.  I was telling my good friend James Miller that either my professional life sucks and my emotional life is great…or my emotional life sucks and my professional life is great.  Its’ like a piston…they can’t both be up at the same time yet it seems.  Now…I know if continue I walk according to God’s ways…eventually both my professional life and my emotional will be up.  I just have to learn to wait on God…yet again.  Sometimes I just want to yell..OK GOD feel free to hurry up?   But I know in the end…it always works out… Its just sometimes tough to go through it.  But I believe that God puts us through these tough times to show non-Christians how Christians should respond in adversity.  This is where our non-spoken testimony speaks volumes.  So I guess I should stop complaining, because God has proven again and again in my life that he’ll come through for me.  Its just tough to take sometime. 

Perhaps with the US economy doing soooo poorly right now, I need to focus on the blessings that God has given me, which lately have been amazingly abundant.  So forgive me if I bellyached too much…every once in awhile…I need vent.