The Romanian and the Heartbreaker.

What an interesting day. I had set up to go out with the Romanian around 3. I so enjoy her company, she really is my best friend on the island. The fact that she is beautiful, smart and sexy…sure makes the whole platonic thing challenging…more on that below.

I went to my new favorite breakfast place a Mexican joint called Senior Pacos. I get this great Mexican breakfast for $5. ,Im almost done with my book “Case for Christ.” Which takes an intellectual look at proving the existence, power, and resurrection of Christ. I want to finish it quickly to give to some of my more intellectual friends here.

Nadiya and Tanya are part of the Palm association, which I did the fundraising video for. They had a lot of ladies donate some of the their costume jewelry, so Tanya suggested I take a look at it to see if I might want to buy any of it for Christmas for Lindsey. I went over to Tanya’s house, and we talked. I really enjoy Tanya, perhaps its because we are both middle children…and have the whole Brady Bunch “Marcia…Marcia…Marcia…” thing going. We talked for a long time about relationships, my children, work, jewelry and life. Its very easy to share my faith over here with everyone. Generally a person talks the most about whatever their passion might be. Right now my passion is my faith, so its easy to share that. Tanya is a very smart and emotionally intuitive girl. She has lovely children and I really like her husband Raimond. So we picked out some jewelry, what I think are lovely pieces for Lindsey. I hope she’ll like them…but as a teenager….the odds are stacked against me. But I have to keep trying. Tanya invited me to spend Christmas with her family and the rest of the Shaheens. She had really good encouragement. I just have to establish new traditions and not keep looking back at what was past and lost. It made me feel really good to feel wanted and accepted.

I headed over to pick up the Romanian. I suppose one of these days, I’ll call her by name…but the Romanian, sounds more exotic…and she certainly is an exotic girl. I wanted her to watch the Joel Osteen sermon I watched online the night before. It’s all about speaking positive words over your environment. Everything that Joel advocated, I’ve seen The Romanian do. So she was very excited in watching it. It really affirmed her philosophies. You’d swear The Romanian is already a Christian, but she just hasn’t confessed it with her mouth. She believes in all the tenets, so it probably just a matter of time. God has special plans in store for her, Im certain.

I had won a free dinner (from a raffle at the Palm Banquet) at one of the nicest restaurants in Bahrain, a place called Upstairs Downstairs. It’s a New Orleans themed restaurant that plays live jazz. Outside the restaurants are usually a few Indians that stand in front of parking places saving it for customers (like valets). They let you park there if you give them a few fils (change). So I couldn’t find the restaurant in the myriad of back alleyways. So I asked one of the Indians, he motioned for me to follow him, and he ran ahead full speed. He was really moving, so I followed him for a couple of blocks and he led me to the restaurant. It was an amazing sight how hard he was working. So I gave him all the fils that I had in my change drawer. The restaurant was fabulous. We ordered appetizers, she had wine, I had diet coke, I ordered a T-Bone steak, and they had my favorite desert Bananas Flambe. We were in the restaurant for three hours. I didn’t want to leave and neither did she. We got there early but soon the place was packed. The jazz quintet was fabulous. The atmosphere was wonderful. It was nearly a perfect date. We just both enjoy each other’s company so much. But The Romanian, has made it clear over and over again, that she is interested in only friendship. She isn’t that physically attracted to me, and I get that. That doesn’t hurt my esteem at all. But other than that…we are an absolute match for each other. So I have to fight to guard my heart not to fall for her. I have to make a choice that friendship is enough, otherwise I will just push her away. Since I don’t have a lot of friends yet on the island, the time I spend with her is very important to me. Logically…we should be together, but logic and emotion often don’t go together.

It was just a strange feeling at the restaurant. It was total non-romantic bliss. Im not sure if she’d ever fall for me, as she has warned me that she wouldn’t. But I often don’t listen to what im told. I’ve learned to believe in myself. The question is do I want to wait and invest long enough to win her heart. I told her, that if I wanted her bad enough, I would wait and she would eventually fall for me. The psychological and emotional chemistry as a foundation is there. The question is…would I be patient enough to wait that long… It might take a year or two. I don’t know if I have that in me to wait. I am so ready to love and be loved in return. I know God’s timing is perfect, I just have to wait upon him. Actually, when I got back home, I was having a chat with God…how I should approach this situation…he spoke to me very clearly…Seek ye first the Kingdom of God and all things shall be added unto you. So my job is to now sweat the petty stuff (or pet the sweaty stuff) because he’s got all the details handled. Every detail is playing out in my life exactly as it should. After dinner we went to the mall. It was packed with Saudis because of the holidays…I mean packed. Thobes and Gutras everywhere and Abayas and veils too. We went to the bookstore to buy her Joel Osteen’s new book Become a Better You. She had seen it the day before and after watching the webisode, wanted to read it. She is hooked on self-help books like I am. So I gladly bought that for her. I didn’t stop there…we meandered our way through the packs of Saudi’s she mentioned we were the only white people there…and I believe she was right. The other white people knew better to avoid the mall. It seems like Mall walking in packs is the Saudi national pastime. Its such a social occasion. I wanted to buy her, her first Krispy Kreme donut, even though we were so full from dinner…we were celebrating Eid…woo-hoo.

OH OH OH…I forgot to mention…let me back up a little here. Last year about this time, I cared very much for a beautiful girl. This girl…was gorgeous…almost a perfect body…She was pretty special to me. My closest family knows the details, but to honor her privacy, I won’t get into too many details. But, she disappeared (she lived 180 miles away) and I didn’t hear from her for a couple of months. I was pretty devastated and heart broken. Like I told the Romanian, as I recounted this event to her, My heart has been broken so many times in the past four years. Yet, I keep putting it out there. Maybe it’s the artist in me that believes in true love and romance. It will eventually find its way to me. So anyway, she disappeared and the next time I heard from her, she told me she had gotten married….”What?????” I know my life has been a made for TV movie…but even the most savvy execs might not believe all the details. They are so sensational, they have to be fabricated right….?”

So I hadn’t heard from her since that point, but she chatted with me last week…and again today. She indicated that she was really struggling and her marriage and husband, was not as what she anticipated. (Yeah…that’s the problem when you marry someone you’ve known for only three months). I could tell she was confused and hurting. The more I chatted with her…the more I felt the old feelings trying to resurface. Im pretty vulnerable emotionally right now…if it wasn’t obvious. So she mentioned that she might want to take a vacation out to visit me…since I had offered everyone an open invitation to come visit in my empty spare bedroom. I know it’s a really bad idea and my family will probably be furious at me…because they know the details.

So with me falling for girls that are emotionally unavailable (to me at least) is a trend I’m realizing with myself. Its strange, the last 10 years of my marriage, I don’t think my ex-wife really loved me, so I learned to live without receiving love. Giving love was enough…and besides I was receiving my love from my kids instead. So you learn to adapt. The Romanian isn’t the first girl that’s been really into me as a friend but not interested in me romantically. There are a slew of girls like that throughout my life. That’s my fault for only wanting to date the elite of this world. I guess its me that goes after the best of the best. I could be in a relationship, if I lowered my standards a bit…but screw that (pun not intended)…I want the best. I believe that since im here God has the very best for me… He’s that kind of God. Whether the very best is The Romanian…or someone even better (better than the Romanian, might be hard to believe…but hey if he parted the Red Sea and turned Water into Wine) anything is possible. I guess I just have to seek first the Kingdom…