Since my divorce, I’ve hated being alone, especially on a Friday or Saturday night. The holiday season has been really challenging for me…with no family. Yesterday was nice with the Shaheen family. Tonight was going to be tough…or so I thought. I was meditating today and trying to figure out what God was trying to teach me while im here. I heard a great sermon from a podcast from Charles Stanley this week. It was all about contentment. Stanley advocated…telling God…God I don’t like this situation, but Im in it…and I need your to help teach me why Im going through this. So I did that. The answer was very clear. I need to be completely dependent upon God emotionally and not need to go out and socialize or have things to do. So tonight was a bit of a test for me.
After church I went to breakfast with Reji, the Indian IT guy at my office. He’s all jazzed up about starting a church too. Its just confirmation of what God had earlier told me. We went to the Bible Book store…if you can call it that. Not much of a selection but still it was something. I bought The Message/NIV parallel Bible for the Romanian. I think/I hope she’s close to giving her heart completely to the Lord. I met up with the dentist as she was finishing her brunch with a new friend. This friend works at the American Embassy so it was some interesting conversation. The dentist and I were supposed to go see Ghost Town…about another dentist, but it stopped playing yesterday…buhmer. So we talked about going to see a movie tomorrow instead.
So I went home. Instead of trying muster up social activities…or go to a club. I kind of felt that I needed to make it through this night…all on my own. I slept a little…puttered around on the computer a bit…and went running. After I walked about a ½ mile to Bennigans for dinner. Listening to Charles Stanley the whole way. I figured…I have to keep Seeking God First…and all these things…including relationships…will be added. So I took my Bible along too. I take my Bible most places where I eat alone.
I had earlier texted the Filipina girl…(These are all character names to protect the innocent…lol) and I could have went out with her…but something in my spirit told me to stay home tonight. So I did. I wound up chatting most of the night online with this beautiful grad student from Jacksonville. She even made me laugh outloud a few times…which is hard to do on a computer. The hours just flew by as I chatted with her. I hope we can connect again…she was really dynamic…and beautiful…did I mention that. In the midst of our chat…my children called me back. I wasn’t able to talk to them for a couple of days…so I dropped everything to focus on them. They sounded really good. A few days ago when I talked to them, I was concerned because of their tone. But this time was different. They seemed happy. That is what I want most of all for them. They all told me about their gifts and what they were going to buy with the money I sent home. Each of them asked about how my Christmas was…which made me feel good. Oh…and get this…Lindsey even liked all the jewelry I sent her. I was very pleasantly surprised about that. I do love my kids so much.
After our phone call…I finished up chatting with Ms. Jacksonville…she really intrigues me. I just looked up and its 12:10 AM almost my bedtime. It turns out I had a wonderful night. I didn’t turn on the TV like I had anticipated doing. Instead, I was able to communicate and just be “content” in the circumstance that God has me placed in. How long will this circumstance last?…Im not sure…I hope not long…but however the length he’ll give me the strength to face whatever he has called me to do. Just like he did tonight.
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