The banking crisis and the repercussions therein

Strange Day,

I have so many up days here , there’s bound to be a down one every once in awhile.  And today wasn’t really down, it was just kind of blah.  Nothing really happened.  Which in retrospect is a good thing.  I think Im so acclimated to being blessed  and having fantastic days that an average day is considered to be a bad day as compared with everything else.  That is a great thing I think.  It reminds me of what my father always says (I think it’s the only toast, he knows) “May the best of your yesterdays be the worst of your tomorrows.”  So I think that is what is happening to me.  God is transitioning me to higher plateau of being.  Where an average day, can be considered as bad as it gets.  That is so encouraging.  Does that mean I’m not going to have bad days.  Absolutely not.  Like Rick Warren said, either your in the midst of a trial right now, just coming out of one, or just about to go into one.  I think God is constantly challenging us. 

But from what I garnered from successfully emerging from three years of Hell, emotionally, that my world could be falling apart but my peace and joy could be full.  I think of Shadrach, Meschach, and Abendego in the furnace.  The flames are all around them, but they are kept cool.  That is the perfect analogy of where my travails have brought me.  Now…because I have emerged, other people in their personal furnaces see that I have a secret to success.  They are curious about it.  I was always freaked out about sharing my testimony before, it seemed so forced.  But since my life now revolves around the pursuit of Christ, its as easy to talk about my faith as it to talk about sports or movies.  Its always easier to share what you are passionate about.  Often my faith comes up in the course of conversation very matter of factly with non-Christ followers.  I think that is the way it is supposed to be.  When people need help through their moment of crisis, they now know where to go. 

I had a very good talk with Nader today.  Nader is my boss the banker.  He’s the reason why I came over.  I believe in him.  He wants to change the world too.  The banking industry collapse has really taken its toll on him.  Nader is a very strong, and intimidating presence.  He’s the exec. VP of a huge bank out here.   What is amazing about him, is that he is the smartest person I’ve ever met…and I’ve met a lot of people around the world.  What makes this even more impressive is that he has no formal college or upper education.  I consider myself somewhat intelligent but only because I studied and trained for so many years.  Nader is more of a self-taught genius.  It is amazingly impressive.  Not only that is he is a good actor and comedian to boot.   Yet the forecast for 2009 is so dim globally, it has taken the wind out of his sails.  His spirit is so down and yet he has to keep trudging and facing the enormity of the financial crisis at hand and fight through it.   Its like someone has taken a 2 x 4, and whacked him across the stomach with it.  I so want to get KSDI up and running to alleviate some of the pressure that he is facing.  Getting KSDi into a global entertainment company that produces social cause and entertainment related product is a dream of both Nader and I.   We have to make money at it too…so we can make more of it.   We are going to do it.  I just want to do it faster for his sake, so the pressure comes off of him and he can enjoy his family.  He has a new baby girl that is five months old, and I know he longs to spend more time with her.    He does have a beautiful family, you’d never know there was Arab in them though, they look as white as if they would be from Kentucky only they have all their teeth.  (OK…that was totally uncalled for, if I have any blog followers from Kentucky I apologize, but still that was pretty darn funny.)  That’s how most Arabs in Bahrain are, with all the mixed marriages.  These are not the Arabs you see on the news.  Or another way to put it, these are not your father’s arabs. 

Im still getting good repercussions from going to model night at the club.  There is a real interest growing in the acting classes.  Nothing like this has been done in Bahrain before.  Right now its mainly my friends that want to be a part of it, because I have told them first hand.  But once the marketing material and the ads get out…I think its going to be a huge hit.  That will sure help in this delicate economy that we are in. 

Guy had only a one hour layover in London to get to his next flight.  If you’ve ever been to London Heathrow, it’s a maze.  So while he got to the gate in time with the plane still on the runway, they wouldn’t let him board.  So the good folks at British Airways, are putting him up in a hotel for the night (which is good, because when I stayed at the Hilton Airport Hotel at Heathrow, last time I flew through London it was $375 for a regular room, London is ridiculously expensive).  So Guy was going to hang with Roy Peterson from Regent and catch the flight tomorrow. 

Its good to have days like today.  When the bad days come…I’ll be ready for em.  Plus God does that whole early warning system with me…that helps too.  

Hodge Podge

Another good day on the island of Bahrain.  I was torn at first, I woke up for church, they do church on Fridays here, the first day of the weekend and its still weird.  But just as I was about to leave Ms. Texas popped up on IM.  I love chatting with her, and its difficult to find mutually convenient times to chat.  So I had a choice, skip church and do what I really wanted to do, which was connect with her, or go to church.  I chose the latter and Im glad I did. 

This whole blog started out as a way for me to break perceptions that America has with the Middle East and Arabs.  Somehow slowly it has morphed into my spiritual and emotional journey.  I’ve complained, whined, rejoiced, marveled, expressed my peace, joy and elation.  It just has meandered away from a cultural understanding of Arabs.  I ask myself why.  I think its because that there just isn’t that many differences between Americans and Arabs.  We have the same hopes, dreams, and desires.  In fact, I think culturally speaking Arabs and Americans are so similar to each other with regards to wealth and how the societies rely upon immigrant labor.  The two cultures can be likened to a couple of rich kids that have always gotten what they wanted in life, and left all the little chores to do to their little brothers.  So when I find culturally interesting information, I’ll be sure to share it. 

I came home and took a nap before I played squash with Baraq.  I really enjoy that.  My friend Tom who works with the Govt. invited me to dinner so I met 8 new friends.  That is always kind of fun.  After that it was off to Models Night at a club.  I know rough going.  Actually I was more interested in networking…and it worked.  I got six more students for my acting class and a promising lead for business.  Plus I had all these beautiful women around so that doesn’t hurt.  I got encouraged to go to another club after.  So I went…didn’t stay very long, just about an hour.  Clubs seem boring to me, when you can’t have a conversation because of the volume of the music.  Maybe I’ll start liking clubs if Guy wants to go to them when he gets here.  But I doubt it.  It still helps the ego, when you go out…and friends introduce me to people as a person they need to meet.  Im honored by that. 

Guy gets here tomorrow night.  He should be boarding the plan in a few hours.  Somehow, coming from Toronto, we got him a ticket with only a one hour layover in London.  When I come from SF, it’s a 23 hour layover for me.  So 1 seems like its nothing.  Its going to be a little strange adjusting to a roommate after living alone for awhile.  Still I’m excited to have a old friend come around.  I really need Guy.  We are putting out a good product, we just need more cash flow.  Guy is an incredible salesman so I think its really going to work.  He is leaving his kids, so that is going to be hard for him.  I can relate to him on that note.  But God has a plan for the both of us. 

I have so much work to do at work.  That’s a good thing.  I just don’t want to spin my wheels.  I wrote early about hating solitude…now I actually crave it.  Its amazing what God can do to change the desires of your heart when you delight in him. 

My joy is full.  

Another magical day...

Magic…what a magical day it was, simply magical.  Im having more and more of these so I think its becoming a trend.  First of all it started out with me waking up at 4 am…and chatting with Ms. Texas for an hour.  Its hard to connect with the time change.  The spa day for her went over very well.  When she got there…the workers were buzzing…Oh so you’re…Ms. Texas….  They went on and on…how they wish their spouse/significant others would do something considerate like that for them.  I had her favorite flowers delivered to the spa too.  She had never had anyone pamper her like that before so it made her feel incredibly special.  And thus, because she was so genuinely appreciative, made me feel special.  I love doing that kind of stuff for people I care about.  I did that sort of thing for X all the time, but it had the opposite effect after awhile, the more I did the less she respected me in the end.  I did love X dearly…but not in the way she desired me to love her.  Its quite tragic really. 

Im looking forward to being in love again.  So looking forward to it that I might be overanxious at times.  My dear friends are always cautioning me to slow down, they don’t want to see me get hurt again since they know the amount of pain I endured with my divorce.  Like Tanya at work today, she was genuinely concerned about me protecting my heart.  Well…I keep putting it out there over and over.  I think it is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all.  So I will continue to throw it out there.  Even if it does get damaged in the process, I always have God there for the true comfort.  That said…Ms. Texas is pretty darn special, it will be interesting to see where it goes. 

I took the staff out to celebrate my passing the probationary period to dinner and a movie.  They were quite excited about it.  Since we have so many Indians in the office, I thought Slumdog Millionaire would be perfect.  It absolutely was.  Priyesh, our quite Indian office boy, doesn’t know much English…in fact…in the three months we probably haven’t spoken more that 12 words to each other…not because its adversarial…he’s just so timid with his speech.  We communicate through body language.  So he told me he didn’t want to see the movie because he doesn’t know English very well.  Jerrilyn, sweetly grabbed his arm…and said Priyesh, come with me you will be my partner (date).  That lightened the load for Pryesh, so he went and wound up having a great time.  Half the movie is in Hindi, so he could understand most of it.  It really is a beautiful film, if you haven’t seen it, it’s a must see.  Im really pulling for it to do well at the Oscars.  Because Hollywood follows trends.  If they think the trend is to follow non-american, east/middle eastern stories…guess what that could do for me?  We are positioned perfectly for this.  It seems like all these factors are coming together at the perfect time.  I have a meeting on Monday, with the guy that has his designs on building a Media city out here…and a bank that wants to finance it.  Im putting the two parties together, so KSDi, can manage it.  God’s favor is soooooo good right now. 

I put up my notice on Facebook that Im starting the acting school, and its creating quite a bit of buzz.  They’ve never had anything like that out here.  In CA and Texas there were several schools.  But its wide open here.  Im talking with some execs at Bahrain TV to try to create a program about the classes to air on their channel.  So much is happening.  Im just on a spiritual high right now.  I have to remember the warning of T.D. Jakes, “Don’t let your highs get too high, nor your lows get too low.”  Ive been so low over the last few years, these highs seem even higher than they actually are.  Im blessed and living proof…that God works. 

Guy is getting here on Saturday.  We are both so jazzed about it.  We are going to take this island by storm.  God is so faithful.  Wow…Im just amazed by all of this. 

Oh…get this…tomorrow, I was invited to a special model’s night at a club.  It’s invitation only and I guess  I made the cut.  My reputation as a person that you need to know…is growing.  Which is kind of weird, because its so egotistical, and so LA.  That really turned me off about LA.  But my past work is actually quite an asset from a marketing/PR standpoint.  So all these models, have expressed interest in joining my acting classes.  So for me it truly is a networking opportunity.  Im pretty darn lucky.  Guy is going to miss it by a day…lol….

1 or 10,000

I installed a stat counter on this blogspot…Well I didn’t…I had Reji..our IT guy do it.  I was just curious how many people were accessing it.  Before I came over here, God had laid it on my heart to write a book about my divorce and how I overcame the hurt, pain and rejection.  Somehow…this blog is the result of that.  Im honored that I have so many readers…supporters…and prayer partners.   Im really blessed.  But then I got to thinking.  The stats…isn’t that just the flesh talking?  I just read about David when he took the census when he was King.  The sin was he was placing his faith in numbers and not God who had provided again and again for him.  I worked for a few churches and missions organizations.  They were very concerned about their numbers.  Its like a Christian scorecard, how many people raised their hand at the end of the service meant validation or valuation for them.  That so turned me off… I think it comes down to the parable of the lost sheep…where the shepherd left the 99 to find the one.  That made me think of my calling to Taiwan when I was there with my entire family in 2003, pretty much before this year, the highlight of my life.  Im convinced, that God sent us over there…an entire family no less, to reach one man, a guy by the name of Kidd…who will be my lifelong friend.  The first thing Kidd said to me…you are from America, why did you come to Taiwan?   Well I didn’t realize at the time, I came to Taiwan just for him.  But what made the real difference is not what I did…but its what God did to me by serving him.  That created a hunger and desire to serve him that has never dissipated.  Every Christ follower should go on a missions trip…it absolutely changes your life.  This is the one thing that the Jehovah’s Witnesses, and the Mormon’s got right, the forced two year missions assignments.  Well that and the snazzy bikes. 

So I was completely fulfilled knowing that I reached one person in Taiwan (I know we as a family reached more, but I think that was our primary purpose).  So now God has laid a grand scheme on my heart.  He has told me so many amazing things that are about to happen to me.  I know by faith that they will…because everything he has told me in the past has come to pass with a few exceptions…and the clock is still ticking on those.  So that gives me the faith that He’ll do what he says he’s going to do.  I’ll give you two examples of the stuff going to come down the pike.  There are really over 15 things he’s laid on my heart in the last six months.  1. Whomever my next wife will be will have a ministry to over 10,000 which I will be in a supportive role.  2. I am going to start a church.  OK…one more…and #3 is a little vague…I’m going to change the world.  It was interesting as Khalifa and I were talking to the reporter yesterday.  He mentioned that Mr. Beeman (what he calls me) is going to change the world.  You know what…he believed it.  I have a lot of other people around me believing it too.  I believe it whole-heartedly for the simple reason that if God said it…then its going to happen.  So the more faith I have in that…the more that faith spreads, its infectious.  Its like everything is being mobilized.  God is placing me in key situations…through divine appointments and circumstances.  I’m just trying to do my best…to keep after him. 

Ms. Texas..came back from her spa day on cloud 9.  I called ahead and had her favorite flowers waiting for her.  The girls at the salon, she told me,…went on and on how they wished their man would be that considerate…cha-ching…bonus points woo-hoo….  Its nice being a blessing to someone that generally appreciates it.  It just makes you want to do more…and I will. 

I really appreciate you reading this.  Its nice to have your support behind me…it gives me strength.  I can’t do it alone…and you are part of my journey.  You are going to change the world too…right along side of me. 

Guy arrives on Sunday…Life is pretty darn good.  

Guy, Ms. Texas, and Seeking First

Wow…am I spent.  What a great day of activity it was.  Intellectually I was going all day.  We have a ticket booked for Guy, he’s going to get here on Monday.  Im excited about him coming.  Since he’s going to focus primarily on sales, I can keep focused on making movies, my true passion.  I am actually a really good salesman, but I think Im a better filmmaker.  So its all a part of being balanced.  We are starting the acting school in mid-Feb.  So to promote it and our ventures, we did a press release that went out wide yesterday.  We were in a few publications already, but due to the nature of the piece as a feature, its more likely going to go to print on the weekend editions.  But we did have a reporter from a local paper and her photographer come to interview Khalifa and I for her paper.  We spoke about two hours with her.  She was from Sweden a former Gulf Air hostess turned reporter.  She was really smart.  A lot of our goals and objectives culturally match hers since she’s a long time expat too. 

Im really falling for Ms. Texas…I know surprise surprise.  But she’s a pretty special girl.  Beautiful, heart for God, engaging personality.  You’d think I’d be able to find a hot Gulf air flight attendant here…wait…I have…but …im not really interested in pursuing any type of relationship if God isn’t part of the picture.  Guy’s motto coming in…lets save  em so we can date em.  Which kind of made me laugh.  Im very excited about him getting here.  So back to Ms. Texas.  I love being a blessing to others.  Not just beautiful blondes with amazing eyes….but everyone.  Like, giving Priyesh, our office boy who makes only $250 a month, and sends half of it home some extra stuff.  I’m always giving him stuff, lunches, dinners, $20 here and there.  Not just him, but I try to do something nice for most people in the office…It brings me a lot of joy.  I make so much more money than all of them, comparatively speaking, I like to spread the wealth around a little so to speak. I want to be really really rich, so I can give it all away.  So anyways, Ms. Texas was having a really hard week last week because of her X…(Yeah…like I can’t relate to that lol….)  So I found a day spa next to her, and ordered her a spa treatment, facial, manicure, etc…  I gave her the phone number and told her to call for her surprise.  This was last week.  She has been going on and on and on about it ever since.  She is going there…wait…I think she is there at this moment right now.  I called ahead to order her favorite flowers too to be waiting there.  (Oh crap…I hope Erica isn’t jealous…maybe she won’t read this entry).  So being a blessing is something I just love to do.  When I was married, I had traveled four hours sometimes just to bring X her favorite Krispy Kreme donut, or woken up and driven to the store at 3:00 AM when she was craving Ben and Jerry’s.  I love to make people happy no matter what the inconvenience on my part.  In fact I don’t look at like an inconvenience, I look at it like a privilege.  Maybe it’s a love language thing or something.  So what really struck me about Ms. Texas and this little token, is that no one ever had done anything like that for her before.  She was quite blown away by it.  That made it even more fun for me. 

Yesterday, I shared and I thought it might be perceived as egotistical so I wanted to explain.  I mentioned, that other than my strained relationship and distance from my kids, I feel like my life is really hitting a new peak right now.  And the peak seems to be getting higher and higher.  Im convinced, I’ve reached this point, not on my own strength, or talent, or relationships.  I feel like Im being blessed solely because Im seeking God first…and keeping all of his commandments.  I feel so overwhelmed with blessings right now.  God is so faithful.  I had to weather the storm of the past three years and I’ve emerged…by the grace of God.  I didn’t think I would.  But I was faithful to him for the most part with a few missteps, and God in return was faithful to me.  I have this friend here that is battling a real spiritual battle.  He just wants to give up.  Many of the things I experienced he is going through now.  I keep encouraging him…I know exactly how you feel.  Just trudge forward…keep on going.  Its not about feeling its about faith.  Things will get better and sometimes it takes them a long time to get better…but they still do.  I think Im a living testimony to the friend to keep going.  Im fortunate, God helped me through the storm, so I can help other people through their storms.  

Venting (Careful, a bit of negativity ahead read at your own risk)

Mean people suck.  Have you seen that bumper sticker?  I think it was my mantra today.  I was trying to figure out what to get for my daughter for her birthday.  I called her, at first she said, ipod or iphone.  Then she changed her mind, I think because she thought it was frivolous, Im not sure why.  Still I wanted to be a blessing to her.   Her mom confiscated her other phone.  Plus, since Im not allowed to leave silly messages or call on the house/X’s hubby’s phone/formerly Lindsey’s, I thought it would be a good idea to buy Linz an iphone.  So I could call my daughter directly, like I call my son.    I sent an email to X offering to pay for a year’s worth of coverage if I bought Linz a phone.  A few rude emails later, it was expressed to me that I don’t listen and Lindsey doesn’t want a phone. Which got me to wonder, what soon to be 15 year old girl in the world doesn’t want her own phone…I thought that was state law.  But x has so much control…its sad really.  Breaks my heart.   Its funny, they complain about me not listening, yet I haven’t been able to express my point of view to them for the last 2 years, when I do, they usually hang up on me, most of the time tied to a string of expletives.  My father always said…”The Faults you see in others are usually your own.”  That is so ringing true in my situation whether or not people choose to self-actualize.   

So I’ve been in a funk all day.  I’ve convinced myself that X could no longer hurt me.  So when they send hateful/hurtful emails is it my fault that I allowed myself to be emotionally vulnerable?  Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.  So am I crazy for expecting them to be civil.  I imagine with the economy being what it is, and a few of the things I know about the situation, and the fact that I’m doing very well out here, spiritually, financially, emotionally, physically, you name it.  That must grate on them, thus hurting people hurt people.  So is it my fault that I allowed myself to be hurt?  I can’t control them, but I can control the way I feel.  Ultimately no one can control the way I feel, so it really is my fault.  I will have to learn to protect myself better emotionally.  The good part is that I had a wonderful conversation with Max, and a very nice conversation with Spencer and Lindsey.  That warmed my heart.  Max is developing a personality just like mine.  I told him, that I was bringing Hollywood to Bahrain and a lot of Indians were involved out here.  He then said…I guess Gonzo was wrong.  That is an obscure reference to the Muppet Movie where Kermit and Fozzie, picked up the hitchhiking Gonzo who was going to India to be a movie star.  They told him, you have to go to Hollywood to be a Movie star…and then Gonzo says, “yeah, if you want to do it the easy way.”  So it made me laugh having my son with the same type of humor as me.  Which I guess can be considered not a good thing lol.  He wants to be a film director too.  He wanted to come out here to be my apprentice but then changed his mind.  I hope and pray someday that my children will be able to visit…so if you are praying for me, which many of you are, please pray for that.  I think the cultural exposure would be very beneficial for them, especially since they lived overseas already in Taiwan. 

I found a theater to hold my acting classes in.  It’s a small custom built theater than holds about 50.  Its perfect.  We negotiated a rate and now we have to lure in the students, which I don’t think will be very hard.  We had the press release go out wide today, so it should generate some interest.  We have a local paper coming in to interview Khalifa and I tomorrow.  I love news stories about us, its free advertising.  We are really busy at work.  Not only do I have to be the GM, but I have two feature length documentaries to cut in 10 weeks.  Its going to be a challenge.  Im glad God blessed me to work quickly, Im going to need it. 

God is blessing me so much out here.  I really feel like, despite the emotional turmoil of the divorce and missing my kids, I’m at the highlight of my life at this moment.  But you know what, its only going to get better.  As I continue to seek God’s face, he will continue to bless me.  Someday…soon probably, I’ll be in love again.  Someday…soon probably I will be reunited with my children.  Someday…soon probably I will be married and have a family again.  Someday…soon probably, I’ll regain my rightful place as the happiest man on the earth.  Someday…soon probably, Im going to inspire tens of thousands for Christ.  But for now at this moment…life is still pretty darn good

Divine appointments

Another great day here.  So what happened that was great today?  Not really much of anything, but Im living my life right right now, so I’m overflowing with peace and joy which is cool.  Because I don’t have to have anything external happen to make me happy.  Wait…I just thought of something.  Had a very nice and long chat with Ms. Texas, so I guess something good did happen to me today.  I posted a picture of her and other new pics below if you want to check them out.

Its so interesting the way my career is turning.  Being on the other side of the desk feels great.  I had several meetings today.  The first was with a lady that built a small theater (seats around 50) and she wanted me to use it for my acting classes that I’m starting up here.  She was very excited about the plans we have. 

Then I had several appointments in the afternoon with people wanting to see me.  Apparently they think Im important or something…I am.  It’s a really cool feeling.  The first was a Bahraini Composer.  I listened to about 20 seconds of his demo before I knew this guy was talented.  I think that is one of my gifts.  As a director I can spot talent rather easily.  Its also very easy for me to spot character as well.  But I got that latter talent because of the pain of my divorce.  I was pretty naïve and gullible before so life taught be some hard lessons. 

The final appointment was with Suresh, one of the directors and organizers of the film festival.  His film was very good, but we didn’t want to give him too many awards because we wanted to encourage the other filmmakers and spread the awards around.  Suresh wanted me to meet his editor.  His editor, Lio, had a great demo reel.  I’ll hire him as soon as our cash flow and activity warrant it.  I was telling them all about the great plans we have for developing the film industry.  It seems like all the pieces are falling together for it.  Im kind of in the middle introducing folks and helping facilitate the dream.  Everyone believes in me out here…which is an incredible tool.  I know that if I obey the word of the Lord everything  I touch will prosper and succeed.   So God will bless me.  So when I declare everything that Im going to do, I speak it with a measure of faith.  Like Elijah spoke things that were not as if they were in the valley of the Dry Bones. 

Let me give you a tangible example.  I told you last week that a guy by the name of Walid wants to build a Media City in Bahrain with film studios, production facilities, animation facilities, edit bays etc.  I was telling Suresh about this and he got very excited.  He works for a bank that does investment in real estate and other projects.  He tells me they are developing a large/giant residential complex with plans to launch a media city.  So, he was very anxious to talk with the man with the plans for that.  I am the facilitator with those two.  God is just placing me at strategic places meeting the right people.  I’m blessed because Im not really doing anything under my own power. 

I have always been a dreamer and an optimist.  I went through the dark period…now Im a dreamer once again.  Only this time, all my dreams are coming true.  And people all around me believe in me.  God is really setting me up for some great things. 

Im meeting with JP Cormier again tomorrow before he heads back to the states.  I think he wanted to see me before he left.  He’s going through some personal crap right now, and Im in a unique position to be able to minister to him.  He claimed to me, that he was the most unique Christian I was ever going to meet.  I think he might be right.  I can’t wait to tell his story.  He wants to change the world just like me.  So I get to tell his story and help JP change the world.  What an awesome responsibility that is. 

I think, if it wasn’t obvious I might be falling for Ms. Texas.  For those of you faithful readers of the blog, will realize…I think I fall quite easily.  But this girl…is pretty amazing.  More details on her at a later blog date.  

Slumdog Millionaire

It was a great day today.  The highlight was that I talked to my children.  Well two of them at least. (Spencer was grounded and said he couldn’t talk on the phone)  It was wonderful.  I love them so much.  I miss them terribly.  I went to see Slumdog Millionaire, if you haven’t seen it, It is an absolute must.  It depicts the slums of India in a  pretty start and unforgiving fashion.  I can tell you that, Slumdog Millionaire is amazingly accurate.  Bahrain isn’t like that at all.  Bahrain is more like Europe than the Mid-Far East.  But with all my Indian friends here, I can tell you it is spot on for the culture.  In fact, many of the films for the Bahraini film festival were made by Indians, and they were all quite similar to the style of Slumdog.  There is a reason why the Indians leave their families and come here for one to two year contracts before seeing them again.  The economy over there is that bad.  That type of film is exactly the type of film, Im called to make while I’m here.  God speaks to you through your passions.  He speaks to me through film and music.  He was speaking volumes to me today.  Im glad I have this blog and your eyes to layout the vision that God has placed upon my life.  Its almost like a prophecy.  That way when it comes true, we will all be a part of God’s orchestrations at the same time.  I believe that God has given me a prophetic word and you are all witnesses.

So what made me miss my boys is the film focused on the lives of three children growing up in the slums.  Now my kids aren’t in the slums, but I feel like Im not there to take care of them, just like these orphans didn’t have anyone to take care of them.  I know X is responsible, but still there are some things in my heart, God primarily, that I would love to share with them and to influence them, but now my sphere of influence is greatly diminished.  Yes, a portion of the divorce was my fault and I accept responsibility. My healing didn’t occur until I learned to accept that responsibility and not blame others.   The portion of my crap for the divorce was that I had an addiction when I was married that had to do with adult online crap.  Ok..so I hope you can read between the lines and figure out what that is. If not, email me and I’ll go into more detail.   It was in the late 90’s and I really didn’t understand it at the time.  I thought it was a character flaw, but it was a full blown addiction. It was the low point of my life prior to the divorce.   So that is the reason X gave to others why she felt it was OK to divorce me 7 years later.  Ok…I sinned…there is consequence to sin yes…but having my children taken away (on a daily basis) seems a little severe.  But God has a plan in all of this.  What the enemy meant for Evil God will turn for Good.  I’ve found so many people in need of the secret I used to beat the addiction.  I’ve also found so many people that needed help with divorce issues, that I can help with.  Even as late as yesterday,  I learned a great great man, is separated from his wife about to go through some pretty intense crap.  I think God put me in this man’s life to help him through it. 

So I know Im here doing God’s work.  Yet not being able to connect with my kids is a heavy price to pay.  I know there is a purpose to everything we go through in life.  Sometimes its not readily apparent.  Being separated from my children is one of those times.  I know I just have to keep going and God will work everything out.  He gave me a divine calling here and called me in an incredible and supernatural way.  At the same time, He told me that He would protect the children and they were in his hands.  I just have to trust Him on that one.  

It was a great day today.  The highlight was that I talked to my children.  Well two of them at least. (Spencer was grounded and said he couldn’t talk on the phone)  It was wonderful.  I love them so much.  I miss them terribly.  I went to see Slumdog Millionaire, if you haven’t seen it, It is an absolute must.  It depicts the slums of India in a  pretty start and unforgiving fashion.  I can tell you that, Slumdog Millionaire is amazingly accurate.  Bahrain isn’t like that at all.  Bahrain is more like Europe than the Mid-Far East.  But with all my Indian friends here, I can tell you it is spot on for the culture.  In fact, many of the films for the Bahraini film festival were made by Indians, and they were all quite similar to the style of Slumdog.  There is a reason why the Indians leave their families and come here for one to two year contracts before seeing them again.  The economy over there is that bad.  That type of film is exactly the type of film, Im called to make while I’m here.  God speaks to you through your passions.  He speaks to me through film and music.  He was speaking volumes to me today.  Im glad I have this blog and your eyes to layout the vision that God has placed upon my life.  Its almost like a prophecy.  That way when it comes true, we will all be a part of God’s orchestrations at the same time.  I believe that God has given me a prophetic word and you are all witnesses.

So what made me miss my boys is the film focused on the lives of three children growing up in the slums.  Now my kids aren’t in the slums, but I feel like Im not there to take care of them, just like these orphans didn’t have anyone to take care of them.  I know X is responsible, but still there are some things in my heart, God primarily, that I would love to share with them and to influence them, but now my sphere of influence is greatly diminished.  Yes, a portion of the divorce was my fault and I accept responsibility. My healing didn’t occur until I learned to accept that responsibility and not blame others.   The portion of my crap for the divorce was that I had an addiction when I was married that had to do with adult online crap.  Ok..so I hope you can read between the lines and figure out what that is. If not, email me and I’ll go into more detail.   It was in the late 90’s and I really didn’t understand it at the time.  I thought it was a character flaw, but it was a full blown addiction. It was the low point of my life prior to the divorce.   So that is the reason X gave to others why she felt it was OK to divorce me 7 years later.  Ok…I sinned…there is consequence to sin yes…but having my children taken away (on a daily basis) seems a little severe.  But God has a plan in all of this.  What the enemy meant for Evil God will turn for Good.  I’ve found so many people in need of the secret I used to beat the addiction.  I’ve also found so many people that needed help with divorce issues, that I can help with.  Even as late as yesterday,  I learned a great great man, is separated from his wife about to go through some pretty intense crap.  I think God put me in this man’s life to help him through it. 

So I know Im here doing God’s work.  Yet not being able to connect with my kids is a heavy price to pay.  I know there is a purpose to everything we go through in life.  Sometimes its not readily apparent.  Being separated from my children is one of those times.  I know I just have to keep going and God will work everything out.  He gave me a divine calling here and called me in an incredible and supernatural way.  At the same time, He told me that He would protect the children and they were in his hands.  I just have to trust Him on that one.  

Loving life

I pretty much love my life right now.  Im convinced that this amount of joy is directly connected with the fire within my spiritual walk right now.  I am so blessed finding favor wherever I go, and in my mind doing nothing really to deserve it except be myself.  This peace that Im experiencing is important because I never thought it would be possible for me to attain it after my divorce, yet here I am.  I still long for someone to love and for a restored relationship with my children, but other than that, I’m on top of the world.  I have a great job, great social life, great friends, great future, there are just a lot of positives overflowing in my life right now.

Im starting to become really good friends with J.P. Cormier (Google him).  He really is quite popular though I never heard of him prior to this week.  He and I just connected and we are friends.  I think it has to do with three important things.  1. We are both artists  2. We both use our artistry to reach others. 3 and most importantly We are both are Christ followers.  Because we have both traveled the world we see our faith different than most.  I think you will find that with most Christ followers that live overseas.   I Grew up with a such a narrow view of Christianity.  You need to believe our way because our way is right and everyone else’s is wrong.  I believed that because I was spoon fed it.  Now I believe there are a lot of right ways in order to reach God.  J.P. shared the same passion. 

After an amazing interview with session, he cried (that is a wonderful thing as and interviews to have your subject cry.  It means they are being completely honest and that I’ve made them feel safe.)  We also embraced afterwards.  He was very appreciative of my interview technique saying multiple times, I give a great interview.  He also remarked that this is the first interview he ever gave where he was NOT holding an instrument in his hand.  I guess that is his security blanket.  I like to get really deep and psychological when I interview.  Many subjects respond very well to this.  For them it’s a form of therapy, which I love.  I think my being so intense in the interview he was able to release a few things that had been hidden in his psyche for a long time.  I think it also gave him a little clarity to how he became the person he is.  He was very appreciative of that.  He invited me to a private birthday party that someone was throwing for him (He turned 40 today).  I showed up and met some fabulous folks.  JP remarked that he was really glad I came.  I think he wants to be my friend.  There is just something about me…I think its my countenance because of what Christ has done in my life.  Plus he’s going through some pretty major marital difficulties and Im the expert on that unfortunately.  JP trusts me, and apparently form what his friends tell me that is rare.  I take it as a great honor.  Im so excited to work on his concert film.  When it is finished, it is going to be fabulous.  I’ll try to post some pics soon.  I better go to bed, I can barely keep my eyes open.  I’ll try to post some new pics in two days. 

Thanks for your continued prayers and support.  

The Day Elvis Died....I own that one.

It was another one of those days where a week’s worth of blog items happen in one day.  Im getting more and more of those.  I was telling Ms. Texas, that I feel the gates of heaven are pouring down their blessing on me.  I went into work today and Benny our new accountant was reading Joel Osteen’s new book, Become a better you.  So get this…I go to Osteen’s church when Im in Houston, My IT guy Reji, has read about 4-5 books from John Osteen and downloads Lakewood and Bennie, the new Filipino accountant downloads Joel as I do.  So what are the odds of that..an Indian, Filipino, and an American with the Osteen connection working together ½ across the world in a Muslim country.  Plus, I’m starting that Bible Study/church and Lakewood is sending me a bunch of DVD’s/CD’s and books to help start it.  There is a divine plan at play here. 

I was telling Tanya (Khalifa’s daughter, my sales manager and dear friend) about Bennie praying for the cash flow of the company and then getting the equivalent of $18,000 the next day.  So Tanya…in jest I think, asked Bennie to pray for our meeting the next day as Tanya was nervous.  So Bennie said she would.  The rather important meeting went very well today.  Tanya was so relieved.  On the way out she remarked, she felt the prayers really worked and made a difference because she was so relaxed and felt the meeting was flawless.  You never know what seeds you plant, even by just a little prayer. 

Nader’s friend brought in a folk/bluegrass musician who happens to be pretty popular in Canada, J.P. Cormier.  Guy, the canuck that is coming out to work with me had heard of him.  So I suggested that we cover the concert and Nader approached JP and he was all for it.  So as I was interviewing him, a biography with a couple of songs turned into a two hour feature length concert film.  Its going to be fabulous.  JP is a fascinating guy.  He mentioned in our interview that amongst his musical influences were Gordon Lightfoot, The Kingston Trio, Elvis, Sinatra, and a bunch of bluegrassers I’ve never heard of.  When I mentioned that I did a biography on Elvis, he said which one?  I said, The Day Elvis Died.  He responded…”I own that one.  It plays a lot in Canada.”  That made me feel great.  (Do you remember when we taped that?)

I think JP started to trust me, he really opened up about his personal life in what was a great great interview.  I found God’s favor as he respected me.  Its very important that a well-know artist like JP respect me…in order to do my best work.  This is KSDI’s first foray into the Entertainment properties and hopefully many more to come. 

I got invited to a birthday party at a club.  So I met the birthday girl, stayed for about 30 minutes and left.  Clubs are boring, dancing or no dancing.  I’d much rather come home blog, chat with Ms. Texas or sleep.  Speaking of sleep, Its 3:00 AM, I should sleep.  Tomorrow I have church, the second part of JP’s interview, Jp’s second concert, and three birthday parties to attend. All that on a day off.   Life is full of activity.  Gods storehouses certainly are being opened on my behalf.  

Probation, newspapers and folk music

Wow what an activity filled day.  I was mentioning this to a friend earlier…I really don’t waste anytime at all over here…unless I purposefully choose to do so.  You would think a single guy like me, living in a foreign country knowing no one when I came over here exactly three months ago would have a lot of time on his hands.  That is absolutely not the case.  Now I’m even choosing not to go out to the night spots and im still filling my quota for social activity.  I got invited to a dinner that Nabs hosts every Wed. night at his house.  A guy by the name of, I think Russ, made homemade pasta.  It was delicious.  The first home cooked meal (not counting Christmas) I’ve had in months.  It was absolutely delicious.  There were about 20 people there from all over the world.  It was a great great time.  I took the Romanian…or was it she took me.  Again this Romainian thing is strictly platonic because I really like her boyfriend/pilot.  But Its still nice to have a dear dear friend like her.  We just laughed and laughed and laughed at the dinner.  There is a guy by the name of Tariq.  Tariq is a good looking guy, ½ Bahraini, ½ English.  He is hilarious…and very very talented.  Im sure we are going to work together someday. 

 

We had another article come out about us in the paper.  This one was slanted more towards the acting school side of things.  There is huge interest in that out here.  It really surprised me…but there is nothing like it here.  Im expecting a huge response once we figure out how to market it properly.  This week has been a great week in terms of cash flow.  Spirits and the balance at the office is extremely high.  God is totally blessing me in every facet right now, except my children.  My relationship with them will come around and that is how God is speaking to me about them..  Im a little hesitant to contact them which is awful I know.  But the last few times I’ve tried, the conversations have been very unpleasant and wound up with them hanging up on me.  I long for a good relationship with my children, but its almost as if they have to choose not to have one with me, because they are in the middle of a very ugly situation.  They have to live with their even though truth might be skewed in her eyes…thus skewed in their eyes.   I pray for them every day and wish there was some miracle that could happen to where they could join or merely visit me.  But X would not allow that.  But My God is powerful, so if you are praying for me, please prayer that I can be reunited with my children.  I think I can raise them is a very positive God fearing home. 

 

My three month probation was up today.  That was in the back of my mind bothering me just a bit.  I had to remind Nader, but I passed the probation and am now a permanent employee, at least for the duration of my year contract.  That was a little bit of a relief and a little bit of a blessing too.  Things are headed in the right direction.  All the goals that God has laid upon my heart personally and professionally are coming to pass.  I am very grateful to have such an exciting and well paying job in the midst of the global recession.  It is hitting Bahrain too.  Especially hit is Dubai…which essentially founded their economic structure on banking and the financial industry.  Many expats are abandoning their cars on the highway and at the airport and doing a “runner” leaving all the debts behind and fleeing the country before the creditors can get them.  It is a bad situation there.  Our company thus far seems to be withstanding the storm and even flourishing.  If there is any industry that is almost recession proof is the press/entertainment industry.  Even during the Great Depression movies still thrived.  People need the entertainment as a means of escape. 

 

We have a Canadian folk artist coming into town tomorrow.  We are going to do his concert DVD.  This is KSDI’s first foray into entertainment.  I hope it’s the first of many to come.  If you want to see a copy of the article in the paper or the magazine article, email me and I’ll send you a copy.

Thad, Ms. Texas and Filipino Accountants...

Had a long talk with a dear old friend of mine last night, Thad.  I love that guy one of my best friends.  I worked with Thad for a year but then there was some crap that happened that was quite unfortunate but it drove a bit of distance between us.  But we got past that…life is too short to harbor any ill will.  God really used Thad in my life.  It’s a pretty cool story.  It was August 2007, God spoke to me, and said, You have one week to fast and pray, because the last week in August is going to be difficult (this is part of the early warning system).  So I did just that.  The last week was tough.  I had my kids for the previous 6 weeks, and had to return them to their mother.  Whenever that happens its like I get divorced all over again.  Their mother was being difficult…so I thought that is what I was preparing for…but no.   I went into work on a Monday…and I just knew I was going to lose my job.  Yet it didn’t happen on Monday…I lost it on Tuesday.  Yet…I was so prepared and so filled with peace, I knew that I was under God’s hand.  How many people do you know can honestly say the day they got fired…was a great day?  There was no severance package nothing.  So on my way home, in a pouring rainstorm, I made two calls.  The second one being to Thad.  The first thing he said when he answered the phone (in his twangy Oklahoma accent) was “Brother, when you coming back to California.”  12 hours later, I had a job offer…for a month.  I took it…and wound up working for Thad and LMA for a year.  What a great year it was.  It was God moving me out of Texas.  Even though my kids were there, it was a toxic environment for me.  Texas is where X moved to, to indulge in a lifestyle that ultimately and quickly led to the divorce.  It was filled with negativity.  I had to get out in order to heal.  It was back in California about two weeks later…where I was feeling…that I was as healed as I was going to get from the divorce, and that my second life was beginning.  It was a time of incredible peace and hope that I hadn’t experienced for nearly 20 years.     God spoke again to me…”Now that you are the man that I always designed you to be, now you are going to change the world.”  I thought he meant right away…so I was a little discouraged in the ensuing months…but he had to get me back to the Middle East to fulfill all the desires he had purposed in my heart. 

The year working for Thad was fabulous.  I was back home…and truly starting over.  I lived with my parents for that year, and some people might make fun of that, but it was wonderful.  I was able to connect with them, heal, and feel loved for the first time in a long long time.  God was preparing my heart for something even bigger and I’m living that out at this moment.  Thad and I laughed a lot together.  Every morning he would saunter into my office and get the soap opera update.  “What did she do now?”  And there was usually something I would tell him.  He would roll his eyes and get more upset than I.  It was great having that type of emotional and spiritual support.  I miss him. 

I was speaking with Ms. Texas again and I asked her permission to share a bit of her story.  I had a few people email me, to inquire what she had battled and overcame.  It’s a pretty dramatic story, but she was an abused spouse and suffered some pretty horrific domestic violence, even to the point of having a loaded gun put to her head.  I just can’t imagine the terror of that at all.  I thought my situation was bad…but its nothing compared to what she went through.  Now…her ministry is to help other battered spouses.  The first step she said is to realize that abuse is occurring.  The recognition is a very important step.  Its also true that both men and women can be abused.  Its not gender specific.  Ms. Texas is writing a book and is going to have a ministry (even more than she does today) that is going to reach out to tens of thousands of women.  She shared part of it with me and it’s going to be fantastic when she finishes and publishes it.    It’s a problem in our society that is largely unrecognized.  Its also a big problem here in the Middle East.  In Conservative Muslim culture the wife is subservient to the husband.  She covers herself in her abaya and veil, and walks behind the husband (usually) by 6- 8 feet behind.  They are to cook, clean, not disagree with the husband, take care of the children and give the husband sex whenever and wherever he wants.  I thought this would be a good opportunity to announce that Im converting to Islam……..  OK…that’s a joke…and it is a serious problem here.  Its just interesting that is her passion and Its so prevalent here.  But that is just another example of “What the enemy meant for Evil, God can turn for good.”  So remember that whenever something unfair or incredibly difficult hits you.  God maybe using you to walk through it in order to be a blessing to others in the future.  Ms. Texas can talk to a battered woman, much more effectively that I could. 

Very busy and good day at work.  I was worried about our cash flow with the economy.  We have a delightful new accountant.  She’s Filipino as was a pastor in the Philippines.  She mentioned early this morning that she was praying about the cash situation, and today we had about $15,000 in outstanding debts come in.  I guess its good to have an accountant of faith.  Oh by the way…with Beni, Reji, and myself and a few others I suspect…we are filling the office with Christians…for the Middle East…I think that is pretty spectacular and unheard of.  God has a plan in all of this.  

Butterfly effect on faith

Wow…heavy emotional day today.  Very busy at work.  I like it that way.  Im learning to be very efficient.  I have to channel my A.D.D. and make it work for me.  At the end of the day I had a long intense chat with an old friend.  Well let me give you just a bit of background.  This was/is a dear friend that I’ve known for years.  This friend did something quite horrible and wounded me very much over the course of several years while she was admittedly far from God.  She told me this really cool story today that I had not heard.  She was rebelling from God and essentially was shaking her fist at God saying leave me alone.  Why do you love me?…im your worst kid she cried out to God.  At that same time, I was leaving a movie and I had this overwhelming thought that I needed to call this friend right then.  Keep in mind since the pain occurred I had not talked to this person for three years (and no…this person is not my ex…but close).  So it was with a bit of trepidation that I called.  So as she was shaking her fist, her cell phone rang and it was me.  I told her…that I had forgiven her completely.  She was really at a loss for words.  This happened about a year ago.  She told me, that the phone call was one of the key steps that she needed to turn her life around.  Now, I didn’t do much, just listened to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and had a heart of forgiveness.  Still for God to use you in someone’s life like that is pretty dang cool.  We had chatted with each other a few times since that point, and each time she is absolutely remorseful for the pain that she helped create in my life.  Each time, I forgive her…I harbor no bitterness or ill will whatsoever.  My friend Jeff E. put it this way…Hatred and bitterness is like taking poison hoping the other guy is going to die.  It just doesn’t work.  So be careful if you have hate or bitterness in your heart no matter how justified you feel.  If you have hate…then there just isn’t a lot of room for God in there.  Now this friend was genuinely broken and remorseful.  It was a very nice chat, life is too short to hate.

Now someone that has good mental health down to a science is my new pal…Ms. Texas.  God is going to use her in amazing ways.  Its quite clear to me.  She had some amazingly brutal and unfair things happen in her life.  Comparatively speaking, my life has been a cakewalk compared to hers.  You ask…why?…why did God allow this to happen to me?  Or how could a righteous God allow evil to happen?  That is a difficult question answer.  First off, God did not intend for us to live in sin.  It was one of the down sides of the whole free will thing.  If he would have wanted perfection, he would have created robots.  So it was not God’s intention for evil to fill the world.  Rather, he can give Believers strength to endure the evil and eventually overcome it.  Another reason why God allows this to happen is so that we can be a ministry to others.  Ms. Texas went through something terribly unfair.  Now she has a special ministry to others that are walking on the same “unfair” road that she is.  Take me for instance.  I can minister to divorced people like no other non-divorced person can.  I remember each pastor or counselor that we went to.  They all had book knowledge, yet they had no idea the suffering which I was enduring because they never lived it.  All their experience in theoretical while mine is practical. Now I believe I can counsel a couple in crisis better than anyone.  Because I’ve failed, I know how to teach a class how to be a great husband better than anyone.  Because I’ve failed…I know when I do become a husband again I’ll be the best husband in the world.  “There is no greater teacher than failure” rick Beeman.  Im not sure if anyone ever said that before so let me trademark it.  Hold I’ll google it to check.  Nope nobody said it according to google.  So back to Ms. Texas…she is using the pain that she went through to minister in a special way to people who would be unreachable by conventional standards.  She is living proof that what the enemy meant for evil God will turn for good.  There are some amazing things about to take place within the next few months.  This blog should remain to be interesting.  Thank you for reading.  I even used Ms. Texas’ story as an illustration to encourage another friend today.  This friend is really questioning God because of the past pain that has happened in his life.  I shared Ms. Texas story and encouraged him not to give up.  His pain will minister to someone else that has that very same pain in the very near future.  So because one girl was a blessing…look at the ripple effects that  that act of kindness will have.  The butterfly effect of faith.  

Busy Busy day just not a lot to say about it

Very busy day today.  We are so busy, but the cash flow situation is tight at work.  Cash is king during this recession that is what Nader keeps drilling into my head.  We have a bunch of huge proposals going out this week any number of them would be fantastic to land.  Plus, there is a lot of potential cash out there with the acting classes I’m starting and the archive picture sale.  We have a gallery coming in Monday or Tuesday and hopefully they’ll make a big purchase.  That would take the pressure off.  The long term future looks great….but the short term is kind of tight.

I went out and got a new client today.  I had met this German girl at the Ritz Carlton a few weeks back.  She’s the marketing director at Banyan Tree Resort, an amazing luxury spa/resort.  I was just blown away by its opulence.  So we are becoming a preferred vendor for them in the wedding department and a few other projects.  It was nice. She’s apart of a group of friends that are my age 30’s-40’s that is appealing to me.  I like the younger people, but their lives seem to revolve around the drinking, the clubbing and the carousing.  That just turns my stomach.  Those of you that know me best know why.  I don’t need that lifestyle.  Its nice because im starting to make really good friends in other venues.  I’ve had a quite a few people remark how quickly I’ve adapted socially out here.  I take that as a nice compliment.  All I’m trying to do is be nice and personable. 

Tonight was quiz night at JJ’s the Irish Pub.  They have the most amazing fish and chips there.  So this is my fourth night and fourth different team.  It’s a great way to get to know people.  We won the Film/TV round per usual.  I have a bit of an unfair advantage since I am in that industry.  We came close the other categories.  Its still a great time out.  Its variety that I like the best.  The only problem is the second hand smoke. Its really starting to bother me.  So many people drink and smoke out here.  Its rare when you don’t smoke. 

Its amazing, how busy and productive I was today, but just not a lot to report.  I’m still in awe from the activity of last week perhaps.  I really appreciate the comments and emails that I get in response to this blogs.  Its strange, I’ll go through my day and sometime feel just a heaviness on my heart for no real reason.  Then that heaviness lifts for equally an inexplicable reason.  Its at moments like that I can feel that someone somewhere in the world that someone is praying for me.  That is a very good feeling. 

I’m going to cut this short tonight…I’m pretty tired.  Your prayers are continued to be coveted, especially for my kids.  

Silly Messages and the funk therein...

Yesterday was such an amazing day.  For those of you who know me, you know me as quite charismatic.  I think as Christians we need to let our joy be full whenever possible.  So when I get excited I try to share it a bit.  I called my kids, on their house phone after I couldn’t get through on Max’s.  So I enthusiastically left a voice mail, “Lovely Lindsey, Marvelous Max, and Spectacular Spencer, I had a great day…call me back and I’ll explain the details.”  Now I did this in an excited voice, because that’s how I usually talk to them.  I got a call back from Max no less than five minutes later, saying he couldn’t talk long, and that I was no longer allowed to call their house phone (which used to be my daughter’s phone) because I left a silly message. (they had earlier warned me not to do so).  He then hung up on me.  Max is a great great kid.  But hanging up on a parent is amazingly disrespectful, but I really don’t blame him.  He’s having it modeled for him.  The last 10 times over the last 18 months I spoke with X she has hung up on me everytime, so the kids are just modeling what they see.  Its quite heartbreaking for me actually.  It happened so late, 3 am my time.  So it really didn’t hit me til I woke up this morning.  I’ve been in kind of a funk the whole day.  X can no longer hurt me, but she knows children can hurt me, so it appears at times as if she’s using them to do just that. So when I was threatened earlier not to leave a silly message...and then I left a semi-silly message, was that a breach on my part...do I adjust my personality and behavior to suit X or do I be the person that God has designed me to be.  That is a tough question.  

Now, I’ve prayed about this A lot.  I know many of you are praying for it as well, as I asked you to do so.  Ive had so many people tell me (over 50) that the kids will someday see the truth and my job is just to love them until they do.  All I want now is for us to get a long better for the sake of the kids, but when I can’t speak to her, that makes it impossible to do.  I wish there was some sort of olive branch type of treaty I could do to stop the hate and the bickering. 

So I’ve been in a little funk all day long.  It just has to be a spiritual attack, because there are so many positive things happening to me out here.  All my dreams, except one, are really coming true right before my very eyes.  The one thing that keeps me from walking on clouds all the time, is the state of my kids.  I know they are going to be ok eventually.  I just feel so helpless in the meantime. 

Lets change the subject that is depressing.  I got invited to go to a club on Thursday night for a birthday party.  Its seemed like a cool and happening place.  But halfway through I remembered…I hate clubs.  I don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t dance.  My friend Tom was trying to teach me how to dance…I’m hopeless.  Its weird…I have rhythm when I edit…I can really feel the music.  But not on the dance floor.  I’m also not really into superficial conversation, I’ve never been like that.  Most of the conversation that happens in clubs is quite superficial.  So all in all…its not a great experience for me when I do go to clubs.  The good part is…I’m getting to know so many people on the island, I know more and more every time I do go to a club so that’s a positive. 

I know I’ve mentioned this before…but I’m so anxious to be in love again…im so anxious to be married again.  Not really to be loved…but I want someone to adore yet again.  Now there are an abundance of beautiful women on this island, an abundance!…yet hardly any of them are solid “Jesus followers.”  You can’t call them Christians, because they are all considered Christians here.  If you are not Muslim, you are a Christian.  Women might be attractive, but I believe for her to achieve her full measure of beauty, she has to have Christ flowing out of her…and that flows out through the eyes, the windows to the soul.  With that said…I think I met a beautiful woman…but there are plenty of obstacles…with the primary one being the Atlantic Ocean.  Still its nice to have a new friend to communicate with.  It will be interesting to see where it goes.   I’ll post more as things develop.  In the meantime, your prayers for my relationship with my children are still deeply coveted.  

And the winner is....

Wow…I had about a month’s worth of things happen to me within about an 8 hour period.  My head is still spinning a bit.  First of all, I had a wannabe actor come in yesterday and he wanted me to cut his acting demo reel together for him.  He wants it to audition when he gets back to the states.  He said he found me because his brother had read about me in FACT magazine.  Well he dropped his demo material off and brought his brother by.  His brother is young, 22 but extremely sharp.  He comes from a lot of money and is connected within the Bahraini finance community.  His objective is to build a media city, larger than dubai or Abu Dhabi.  A facility with several sound stages, production facilities, post-production, computer animation, basically everything.  The guy already has some major Hollywood players interested.  So get this, in two days I meet a guy who wants me to give him content so he can pitch it to the power brokers to get the green light for production.  Then I meet another guy who can bankroll building the facility.  So one guy finds the money, the other guy finds the place to make it.  My role is to bring the two guys together .  Im getting all these divine appointments from all over the island.  The amazing part is, Im not having to do anything to bring these people…they are coming to me.  Im truly finding God’s favor in everywhere that I go.  At this point all these amazing divine connections almost fall into the “too good to be true” category.  I’ve been talking with God about this.  He has told me, “Im a too good to be true God, that’s why many don’t believe in me, but I am true.”  So I will leave it at that.  God has pretty much done some amazing things in my life, there is no reason to doubt him now. 

I met up with the Romanian after.  I don’t think I updated those of you that follow the soap opera aspect of this blog.  She got back together with the pilot, so I’ve been seeing her less, but she still remains my very dear friend.  The Romanian went with me to the first Bahraini film festival.  Since I was a judge they wanted me to be a part of it.  I was blown away by the event.  They must have had about 1000 people there, all very dressed up and excited.  In a sense this was their equivalent of Oscar night and they treated it as such.  They seemed quite honored to have me there and thus I was honored to feel honored.  There were many filmmakers that wanted to meet me because of what I represent.  I was able to encourage a few of the young talented actresses and directors that I met.  Khalifa was sick, so he was unable to attend.  There must have been about 10 members of the press both, photo and video covering the event.  I truly felt like a celebrity.  That was a very nice feeling.  They invited me to share so I spoke to the audience about my Hollywood experience, encouraging them to keep their passion and dreams, only to add vision to the mix.  They got very enthusiastic when I told them about the Hollywood happenings of the past week.  They got even more excited when I told them we were going to help them develop their talent by starting an acting school and filmmaker’s workshops.  I had to stop for the applause each time.  I was really working the room.  After, they gave each of us jury members a special commemorative award as a sign of appreciation.  It’s awesome, I have a special place in my apartment with all my special memento’s and that is certainly a welcome addition to it.  After the awards ceremony, I had several filmmakers want to take my pictures with them.  I’ll post the pics in two days.  It was just an awesome night.  At the end of my little speech…I encouraged them…”We all can change the world…and we can change the world through our media.”  The Romanian, was very proud of me, and told me it was wonderful. 

We scooted out, as she wanted me to meet her boyfriend/pilot.  I once was wanting to be romantically attached to her, so the thought of meeting her boyfriend was like peeling my fingernails off.  But I think I might have found another potential romantic attachment (more details in coming blogs, keep reading).  So the idea of meeting him was not so bad…plus I felt kind of prompted by God to do so anyway.  So I went to his house on the water.  Dude is a great guy.  I really enjoyed him.  He’s ½ Omani, ½ Spanish.  His hospitality was wonderful.  This notion that Arabs are bad people is ludicrous.  I have yet to meet a bad one and I’ve met a lot.  They all seem like great people.  I think the pilot/boyfriend of the Romanian and I are going to be really good friends.  He invited me to his home in Oman next week.  He also invited me to fly with him, wherever Gulf air flies.  If I want to go, I’ll I have to do is ask.  This is my chance to see the world…while I change the world.  It’s a very exciting time.  But the best thing that happened to me today…was the last thing…there is this very special girl in Texas, that God called me to encourage…  Anytime you do what God has called you to do…you get an overwhelming sense of peace and fulfillment.  Im a very blessed guy.  

Rockin with Annie Lennox

Very busy day today. I’m still kind of in the afterglow of yesterday’s really amazing meeting. Its just so cool. I don’t want to count my chickens before they are hatched, But I also want to speak out in faith. So it’s a fine line. So many really great things happened to me today. God really speaks to me so often over here. Its like I’m never alone as we are constantly communicating with each other. I finally figured out what Paul meant when he said pray unceasingly.

I went to the big mall, City Center, today. This place is gigantic. So I wanted to grab lunch in the food court since I was close by. I carried my Bible in. I carry my Bible everywhere I go. It’s a tattered and worn Bible that I’ve had for 25 years now. It has been through some battles with me and you can tell that is has been around the world a few times (literally). I actually take great pride in the fact that it is so beaten up. It has been used a lot. So I was getting ready to eat lunch and delve into the Bible. I was listening to my ipod, just totally enjoying God, my surroundings, my lunch, and my joy. I wanted to get more of God thus I wanted to read the Bible. I read constantly. But instead of reading, I felt God said…wait…don’t read. Just enjoy your lunch, your music, your surroundings and my presence. So there I was, in a crowded mall, surrounded by Saudi’s wearing the national dress, eating lunch and rocking out with Annie Lennox. First God spoke to me through Hall and Oates, now its Annie Lennox. If its going to be the Village People next, we’ll know we’ll have a problem. So there I was soaking in all of God’s grace, goodness and joy. My heart was filled as I praised him in my own silently unique way. I knew I was not eating alone.

After lunch, I went back to the office. There was thing young Arab, that had set up an appointment with me. He wanted to be an actor, he was very raw, curious, and had a lot of questions. It turns out, he was only in Bahrain for three days then he was back to school in San Francisco….hmmmmm…. interesting. He had so many questions wanting advice on how to make it in the industry. As he was hanging on my every word, it occurred to me. I was now sitting on the other side of the desk. For years I was in his shoes, wanting someone to give me advice and a break. Now I’m on the other side. Since the article has come out in FACT, I’ve had many calls. Its generated quite a bit of interest. I wanted it to generate business, but I’ve been getting a lot of people wanting to network with me. That’s important too. I need to build up a roster of talent. As my recognition grows on the island, that has to be able to help in the long run.

The Bahrain film festival is tomorrow. There is supposed to be around 1000 people attending the event. I’m told a lot of them want to speak with me. I’m going to be able to share a bit during the awards ceremony to encourage them, talk about Hollywood, and the acting class. I’m hoping its going to generate a lot of buzz and thus a lot of students. I guess I need to get ready to be besieged. It’s a good feeling…one that Im honored to have.

I played Racquetball with Russ tonight. Russ is the amazingly talented worship leader at my church. He’s my age and single too. He’s an absolute answer to prayer. I was praying for a Godly friend, that would help encourage me in my walk. Flight attendants are nice friends and nice to look at…but sometimes not that deep…lol. So having Russ around is a blessing. Plus, I’m answer to his prayer too…Im there to encourage…and Russ certainly seems to need encouragement. Its win-win. Get this…God has also spoken into Russ’ heart that he would start scores of churches all over the Middle East. Hmmmm…..coincidence? I think not.