I mentioned in the blog two weeks ago about the early warning detection system. That God said the next two weeks were going to be tough. I already thought that I had been through the brunt and that I was home free. Not so fast. All this week, I’ve been battling a sense of fear and insecurity. Most of my concerns were incredibly unfounded…still they were intense. I always thought spiritual attacks came in the form of temptation. But this one was attacking my mental health. It came to a head this morning with a spirit that came over me that I can only describe as a type of spiritual wet blanket. It was so oppressive. Most of you that know me…know that I’m pretty optimistic and joyful person (granted that was tested the last three years). But still since I’ve been in Bahrain my feet haven’t touched the ground and I’ve been incredibly optimistic. I haven’t been this hopeful or cheerful since my college days. But a sense of dread almost panic hovered over me all morning. It was soooo bizarre. Finally when I realized I was still in the two week window, I remembered…Crap…Im still in the two week window. So I forced out small little audible prayers. I had to really force these because they weren’t coming naturally at all. Then things started to break when I was able to chat with Ms. Texas (my new online pal). Then after that…I prayed more and more…and pretty soon the clouds started to part and the rays of sunshine shone through again. I was busy the rest of the day, so that took my mind off everything. I know God is faithful…I know he answers prayer…I know all things work together for good for those who believe and are called according to his purpose. I know the Bible inside and out. Yet there are sometimes when I doubt. What if…What if God isn’t real…What if God won’t answer my prayer…What if all this is a lie. Now…I know those thought are lies from the enemy. He comes to lie, steal and destroy. All that negative energy can be so suffocating at times. I know God is faithful…he has proven it to me time and time again. I will get though this with God’s grace. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is getting brighter and brighter…its just sometimes hard to see.
I went out with my friend Russ today. Its important that I call him that as my friend. Really we’ve only known each other a week. When I first got here…I didn’t know anyone. I prayed for God to send a strong spiritual brother my way to help encourage me and keep me on the straight path. I told Russ tonight that he was the answer to a prayer. He is going to be my accountability partner. Iron sharpens iron, so I can be that for him too. I might be doing ok with my walk right now…but I want to prepare for when the really difficult times come, I have a prayer partner I can go to for support and encouragement. Plus its cool to have a friend on the island…that is not..a gulf air girl, not a banker, and not a navy guy.
Russ is a teacher at a school which is part of the navy base. So after work today, we met up at the navy base. To play racquetball. That is the first time I’ve been on the base and it was pretty amazing. It was like a really cool college. It had everything. I would love it if they would sell civilian memberships there, because I would buy one in an instant. So we played raquetball and it was a blast. Its a completely different game than squash, which is weird because they look the same.
I know that God has placed a great support system for me in the form of Russ and vice versa. Judy Meekins told me I needed to find a good solid church and believers that would support me. Well…I’ve finally found them…and not a moment too soon.
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