It was a great day today.  The highlight was that I talked to my children.  Well two of them at least. (Spencer was grounded and said he couldn’t talk on the phone)  It was wonderful.  I love them so much.  I miss them terribly.  I went to see Slumdog Millionaire, if you haven’t seen it, It is an absolute must.  It depicts the slums of India in a  pretty start and unforgiving fashion.  I can tell you that, Slumdog Millionaire is amazingly accurate.  Bahrain isn’t like that at all.  Bahrain is more like Europe than the Mid-Far East.  But with all my Indian friends here, I can tell you it is spot on for the culture.  In fact, many of the films for the Bahraini film festival were made by Indians, and they were all quite similar to the style of Slumdog.  There is a reason why the Indians leave their families and come here for one to two year contracts before seeing them again.  The economy over there is that bad.  That type of film is exactly the type of film, Im called to make while I’m here.  God speaks to you through your passions.  He speaks to me through film and music.  He was speaking volumes to me today.  Im glad I have this blog and your eyes to layout the vision that God has placed upon my life.  Its almost like a prophecy.  That way when it comes true, we will all be a part of God’s orchestrations at the same time.  I believe that God has given me a prophetic word and you are all witnesses.

So what made me miss my boys is the film focused on the lives of three children growing up in the slums.  Now my kids aren’t in the slums, but I feel like Im not there to take care of them, just like these orphans didn’t have anyone to take care of them.  I know X is responsible, but still there are some things in my heart, God primarily, that I would love to share with them and to influence them, but now my sphere of influence is greatly diminished.  Yes, a portion of the divorce was my fault and I accept responsibility. My healing didn’t occur until I learned to accept that responsibility and not blame others.   The portion of my crap for the divorce was that I had an addiction when I was married that had to do with adult online crap.  Ok..so I hope you can read between the lines and figure out what that is. If not, email me and I’ll go into more detail.   It was in the late 90’s and I really didn’t understand it at the time.  I thought it was a character flaw, but it was a full blown addiction. It was the low point of my life prior to the divorce.   So that is the reason X gave to others why she felt it was OK to divorce me 7 years later.  Ok…I sinned…there is consequence to sin yes…but having my children taken away (on a daily basis) seems a little severe.  But God has a plan in all of this.  What the enemy meant for Evil God will turn for Good.  I’ve found so many people in need of the secret I used to beat the addiction.  I’ve also found so many people that needed help with divorce issues, that I can help with.  Even as late as yesterday,  I learned a great great man, is separated from his wife about to go through some pretty intense crap.  I think God put me in this man’s life to help him through it. 

So I know Im here doing God’s work.  Yet not being able to connect with my kids is a heavy price to pay.  I know there is a purpose to everything we go through in life.  Sometimes its not readily apparent.  Being separated from my children is one of those times.  I know I just have to keep going and God will work everything out.  He gave me a divine calling here and called me in an incredible and supernatural way.  At the same time, He told me that He would protect the children and they were in his hands.  I just have to trust Him on that one.