Rick Beeman

  I have really been on a roll lately.  It’s getting to the point where it’s getting more and more difficult to remember when I had my last bad day.  I’m going to ride this wave as long as I can.  It’s not just stringing together good days, it’s stringing together great to fabulous days.  I’m cheating a bit because I’ve been extremely happy this past weekend but it’s been circumstantial.  I think every once in awhile that’s ok especially when it’s back up with peace and joy.    I have my girls this weekend and that always brings me so much joy.  Ideally I’d love my entire family back but I’ll take what I can get.  I mentioned a couple of days ago my change in perspective.  I think that has been the major reversal with my point of view.  I might not like the current circumstances of my living alone but I don’t have a choice in it.  So instead I’m learning how to accept it embrace it even.  I’m learning how to make the ...

  I didn’t want to write yesterday. I was having a down day.  I thought, why should I write another “Rick is so lonely” piece.  At one point in life I really thought I was the happiest, most optimistic guy on the planet.  At least that is what I was striving to be.  Yet for the last year I’ve been the opposite of me.  I don’t feel like myself. That is why It’s so foreign to me, this loneliness, depression thing.   I know that this is a temporary phase and I’ll get out of it eventually.  The duration of the depression/loneliness is something that I can’t factor in or control.  I’m trying to make the best of it, and somedays I do.  Yesterday was not one of those days, but today is.  I miss being part of a team,  I miss having a partner, I miss having someone I could be proud of, admire and express my admiration,  I miss tucking my kids in at night and praying with them.  I miss checking on them in the middle of the nigh...