Rick Beeman

  Today was not a good day. It was a great day.  How often have I been able to say that in 2025?  Not much.  For the first time in long time I like my life.  I’ve been trying to be very transparent with you readers, myself and God.  I’ve cried out plenty of times that I didn’t like the way things were going in my life. Hope has been pretty scarce as I battle my grief and miss my wife and family.    What has kept my head above water is knowing that this is all temporary.  I know that God is faithful and He has good things in store for me as long as I’m faithful.  I have been faithful for awhile now.  I also know there is nothing else I can do for my family at the moment except be present when I have them and to Seek God first.  I’m doing that and I’m expecting God’s rewards soon because He always keeps his promises.   I woke up again with a heaviness all around me.  This is the third time this week.  I do bel...

  This is going to be a short one today, in theory anyway. It was an average day but it’s ending on a good note.  Not enough to start a new Good day streak but that might come tomorrow.  I have something special I’m looking forward to tomorrow but I’m not a liberty to say just yet.  That my friends is what is called a Tease for you to come back tomorrow to find out what it is.   God is walking by my side in all of this pain.  I feel His presence.  I have a theorem I would love to prove someday but I’m not sure how.  Lets call this Beeman’s Theorem.  “God’s voice in volume is directly proportional to the amount of darkness that you are experiencing.”  What that means is if you are lost in a pitch black cave, God’s voice might be the only thing you can focus on to escape from the cave. He speaks more acutely when you are in pain.     Now that I’m living my life right again, I’ve been hearing from God much more clea...

  I didn’t want to write yesterday. I was having a down day.  I thought, why should I write another “Rick is so lonely” piece.  At one point in life I really thought I was the happiest, most optimistic guy on the planet.  At least that is what I was striving to be.  Yet for the last year I’ve been the opposite of me.  I don’t feel like myself. That is why It’s so foreign to me, this loneliness, depression thing.   I know that this is a temporary phase and I’ll get out of it eventually.  The duration of the depression/loneliness is something that I can’t factor in or control.  I’m trying to make the best of it, and somedays I do.  Yesterday was not one of those days, but today is.  I miss being part of a team,  I miss having a partner, I miss having someone I could be proud of, admire and express my admiration,  I miss tucking my kids in at night and praying with them.  I miss checking on them in the middle of the nigh...

Birthday Blah…This is going to be raw and unfiltered. Although I appreciate all the well-wishes from the dozens/hundreds of friends from all over the world,  Today still kinda sucked. It was  kinda  ok, but mostly it sucked. Being completely self-aware, I’m feeling sorry for myself. If you choose to read on, be forewarned.   Now I could do the whole Joel Osteen thing and focus on what I have, not what I don’t have.  That works sometimes/most of the time but I just don’t feeling like doing it today.  I feel like wallowing in the muck and mire and I’m not sure if that is a bad or a good thing. There is a time for everything right. Isn’t there a time for being lonely and being a curmudgeon? Or is that antithetical to Christ’s teaching?   I just know that journaling about it makes me feel better.  It makes me feel less alone, like I have someone to talk with at the end of the day about my day.  I haven’t had that for a long time, so maybe this bl...

  I patted myself on the back a few times because I thought that was a clever title.  I was touched and honored by having some dear friends reach out to me letting me know that I wasn’t alone.  That did encourage me and I was very appreciative.  But fishing for encouragement was not the reason why I started re-writing this blog.  This is good therapy for me.  I know this is a season that I must trudge through alone.  God is with me.  Sometimes I feel his presence deeply, sometimes I feel like I’m walking alone.  It’s that old “Footprints” poem I guess.  I know that God is faithful.  And I am also NOT trying to blame anyone for my current state of being.  I brought this all upon myself.  I think it’s made worse because this is not my first rodeo, Unfortunately.  During my first divorce I didn’t start the healing process until I started to look in the mirror and took accountability for my actions.  That was a very ...