Rick Beeman

  I mentioned yesterday that I was struggling with NOT wanting to get my hopes up and how that was contradictory to my faith. If I’m praying for something shouldn’t I naturally get my hopes up for it?  I’m a little bit jaded emotionally because I am tired of heartbreak and I don’t want to be hurt or go through that pain again.  So I’m emotionally insulating myself, but is that the right thing to do?  God instructs that if you have enough faith you can move a mountain.  I’ve never been able to move mountains so I guess I must be deficient in the faith department.  Or at times I feel like I am.  Then something peculiar or fantastic happened this morning depending on your point of view.  I mention all the time how God speaks to me. Well not only me, but He speaks to all of us.  I believe I’m called to help other people hear God’s voice.  Yet I haven’t been banging that drum recently because some of things I felt as if He told me have not co...

Birthday Blah…This is going to be raw and unfiltered. Although I appreciate all the well-wishes from the dozens/hundreds of friends from all over the world,  Today still kinda sucked. It was  kinda  ok, but mostly it sucked. Being completely self-aware, I’m feeling sorry for myself. If you choose to read on, be forewarned.   Now I could do the whole Joel Osteen thing and focus on what I have, not what I don’t have.  That works sometimes/most of the time but I just don’t feeling like doing it today.  I feel like wallowing in the muck and mire and I’m not sure if that is a bad or a good thing. There is a time for everything right. Isn’t there a time for being lonely and being a curmudgeon? Or is that antithetical to Christ’s teaching?   I just know that journaling about it makes me feel better.  It makes me feel less alone, like I have someone to talk with at the end of the day about my day.  I haven’t had that for a long time, so maybe this bl...