Rick Beeman

  I think the realization hit me sometime this weekend. I believe it was Saturday night specifically as I went for a late workout.  It might not seem like a big deal in the overall scheme of things but considering where I was for most of this past year it is significant to me.  I realized, I like my life.   Does that mean I’m over the loss of my family or miss them any less?  Absolutely not.  But considering how I’ve given myself over to my faith and am just focusing on what I can control, I would say I have it pretty good right now.  Could it be better with someone to love me and for me to love someone?  Another absolute yes. Life can always be better and it can always be worse. The key is finding the contentment in the present.  I’ve come to grips with this season and I am supposed to be alone right now.  I still pray desperately for my family.  I know I am supposed to wait on God.  I know I’m supposed to learn to wholly rely...

  I had a different yet totally fulfilling day. I was tempted to feel guilty for doing whatever I want but that is the position in which I find myself.  I spent most of my adult life trying to figure out what to do for the best of the group/unit and then trying to make the best of it.  Now I find myself just needing to be concerned with one.  I wish it were different.  I’m starting to embrace my new identity of being single albeit reluctantly single.  I should say in my singleness I’m leaning into my faith in God like never before.  While I’m alone I’m increasingly less lonely.  While I do miss the companionship of a spouse and the presence of my kids I’m learning to be at peace at all times.  The hard part for me in being alone is that I will always believe it is best for the children to be reared in a two parent home with their mom and dad.  So I find myself with guilt in not being able to provide that stable foundation for my own chil...