Rick Beeman

  I had a really nice day today. It was an encouragement for the last couple of days where I was a bit down.  I realize I just have to suck it up during the bad days and survive.  This is my new normal.  I just have to consider the days with the children as bonus days.  They always lift my spirits.  It started yesterday.  Because I didn’t have my kids I got to go see a movie.  I love going to movies and actually prefer seeing them on my own.  I splurged a bit on myself and joined AMC’s movies A-list where for $23 a month I can see up to 3 movies a week.(not a paid endorser for AMC but I should be).  To make this work financially I need to see at least 1.5 movies a week.  I’ve been able to do that for the most part.  I do have a lot more time on my hands being alone.  So yesterday I was able to see a Norwegian movie, Sisu 2.  I didn’t feel like I had to pay for it since It’s a part of my package.  So I’m able to s...

  It was another downer day. Nothing specific happened to make it such a day.  I think it’s just the process that I have to go through.  I’m learning as I’m trying not to over-react when I get in down and lonely moods.  The holidays are obviously a bit tough.   My girls are so excited for Christmas and I just can’t share in their excitement.  I don’t want to be a debbie downer around them so I’m forcing on a happy face.  It’s a fake it, till you make it kind of thing.  My eldest is really wanting a live Christmas tree which we’ve never had before.  So I’ll probably go and choose one with her.  I have zero Christmas decorations.  So everything will have to be from scratch this year.   So I made a conscious choice just to endure the down day.  I tried to do things that help my mood.  I went to see a Norwegian movie after school and had lunch. I just love watching foreign films.  The ones that come over and hit...

  I have really been on a roll lately.  It’s getting to the point where it’s getting more and more difficult to remember when I had my last bad day.  I’m going to ride this wave as long as I can.  It’s not just stringing together good days, it’s stringing together great to fabulous days.  I’m cheating a bit because I’ve been extremely happy this past weekend but it’s been circumstantial.  I think every once in awhile that’s ok especially when it’s back up with peace and joy.    I have my girls this weekend and that always brings me so much joy.  Ideally I’d love my entire family back but I’ll take what I can get.  I mentioned a couple of days ago my change in perspective.  I think that has been the major reversal with my point of view.  I might not like the current circumstances of my living alone but I don’t have a choice in it.  So instead I’m learning how to accept it embrace it even.  I’m learning how to make the ...

  It was bound to happen eventually.  I knew I couldn’t keep my remarkable (for me) streak of three great days in a row going.  But there is a silver lining.  This still was a pretty good day.  Nothing remarkable or out of the ordinary happened.  Although I’m looking forward to a bonus Veteran’s Day holiday off tomorrow.  So what makes me hopeful and optimistic, is I’m hoping this level is my new normal.  I’m filled with peace and joy today even though nothing really good or great happened.  If I did indeed turn a corner and this is my reality, then I can learn to accept that.  Things of course will get better in the future when circumstances can help dictate happiness. And when I can combine happiness with the foundation of peace and joy….man that is really living.    But If I can keep this baseline of Peace and Joy when nothing is happening, I’ll take that as a win. It sure seems better than the alternative. Being down in the...

  STOP THE PRESSES: TWO GREAT DAYS IN A ROW!  Does that reference mean anything anymore?  My first actual job was working at a newspaper (Daily Review) when I was 12 years old. I was the last person (I think) to ever sell newspapers outside a subway station (Hayward BART) think Newsies.  The Late Dennis Richmond always bought a paper from me on his way to host the KTVU Newscast.  Then I worked at the actual newspaper stuffing advertising inserts together for the Sunday paper.  I had a good work ethic when I was 12-14.  I knew my dad was rich, but I didn’t want to be considered the spoiled Rich Kid so I worked as hard as I could to save up for a nice car.  The car wound up being a used 1982 Camaro.  So Stop the Presses might be a phrase from a bygone era that younger generations might not know about. Phrases that might include “Don’t Touch that Dial”, “Hang up the phone,” or “Be Kind Rewind”   So I am burying the lead (Another bygone phra...

  I haven’t written in awhile, because I was trying to be completely present for my girls and I was.  I only have them for about 15% of the month so I try to savor each moment with them.  On Friday (Halloween) my wife invited me over for Trick or Treating at their house.  It was the first time I’ve been in the house since the separation.  It was strange.  I brought pizzas (My teenager had a sleepover party)  and a back up bag of candy.  It was surreal being back in the house.  My dog and my youngest were thrilled to have me back.  I was trying to temper my excitement the best I could.  It felt as If I were part of a family again, even for a few brief moments.  I had to keep reminding myself not to get my hopes up, and I failed in that department.  I’m a dreamer.   It seems as if our neighborhood is a halloween hub.  We have a ton of trick or treaters.  My job has always been to sit on the porch and make...

  It was another good day.  I think I’m starting to get  a new streak and into a new groove.  What is lacking in my life is an identity.  I keep thinking about the identity I used to be, Husband, Father, Teacher, Creator.  Now that my labels have changed the adjustment period has been challenging.  I’m trying to remake my identity into something more solid.  1. Child of God, 2. Father, 3. Teacher 4. Creator   It’s that old parable of Jesus and the song I remember from Sunday School “The Wise Man builds his house upon the Rock, The foolish man builds his house upon the Sand, When the Rains come the house on the sand goes Splat.” Keep your identity on something solid and that you can control.  While you can’t control God obviously he is faithful and will always keep his promises.  That is what I’m counting on.  Old habits are hard to break.  It’s just been a challenge to redefine myself largely because I didn’t want to do so...