Stringing together the fabulous days

 I have really been on a roll lately.  It’s getting to the point where it’s getting more and more difficult to remember when I had my last bad day.  I’m going to ride this wave as long as I can.  It’s not just stringing together good days, it’s stringing together great to fabulous days.  I’m cheating a bit because I’ve been extremely happy this past weekend but it’s been circumstantial.  I think every once in awhile that’s ok especially when it’s back up with peace and joy.    I have my girls this weekend and that always brings me so much joy.  Ideally I’d love my entire family back but I’ll take what I can get.  I mentioned a couple of days ago my change in perspective.  I think that has been the major reversal with my point of view.  I might not like the current circumstances of my living alone but I don’t have a choice in it.  So instead I’m learning how to accept it embrace it even.  I’m learning how to make the best of it.  God must have a purpose in all of this right?  I know He does.  In fact, I met a man earlier today that has almost the same exact circumstances that I have.  I’m meeting more and more of them every week. There are a lot (too many) broken families out there.   It helps me to reach out to men like these not get empathy but to give empathy.  Anytime I can keep the focus off of myself that is when I’m the most content with life.  This gets really challenging when I’m by myself.  How do I keep the focus off of myself it I’m all by myself (Right?  Eric Carmen–Kristen just chuckled).  That’s why it’s such a gift to have my children around because it’s natural for me to try to put their needs first.  I’m so happy when I can do that.  I even wrote my blog early yesterday so I wouldn’t take anything away from their visit.  I waited to write this one after they fell asleep.  

The day started out wonderfully for me.  My youngest misses me so much but she can’t really express it.  She just gives me giant hugs like she hasn’t seen me for years.  The last several times she has woken me up by wanting to cuddle with me.  It’s so sweet and innocent.  She is hurting and this is the only way she knows how to ease that pain and build than connection.  The dog usually gets jealous and picks fights with us.  We usually just end up wrestling with the dog that playfully tries to bite us.  I can’t think of many ways to wake up better than than especially lately.  When I’m with my children I feel loved.  After not feeling loved for a long long time that is my emotional fuel.  She also gives me multiple (10+) hugs throughout the day which she initiates.  My middle child likes to hold hands when we walk.  While my oldest is becoming very teenagerish, we all love being together.  

We have a fabulous marketing team at Lune Spark promoting the Funniest Person in the Triangle.  After some slow starts we are building up an audience and momentum.  What encourages me about this, not just the numbers as we had 20+ show up tonight, but it’s the quality.  We had some genuinely funny, completely original moments.  It’s so natural and organic for the audience to participate and entertain themselves and each other.  It’s such a wonderful and healthy outlet.  It’s something unique to do for a Saturday Night.  I imagine this thing will continue to grow.  One of my greatest moments of pride occurs during these shows.  My middle daughter has a gift of comedy and Improv.  I’m not just saying this as a doting father.  But she ‘s got some magic about her.  Other people have noticed as well.  She is just a natural.  Just watching her perform warms my heart.  She’s also influencing her younger sister who gains more confidence every day.  

I don’t know what the future will hold for me and my family.  I do know that my absolute trust in God is helping me navigate the storms of life trying to evade the curse of despair.  Every day I can visualize how this ALL might work for good.  It might not be how I would design it, but God is a lot smarter than I am.  I will place my trust in the Lord.  It’s worked so far and logic dictates that it will work again.  My youngest wanted to move her mattress into my room so she could sleep near me.  I’m including a picture from last night of my favorite thing to do in the world, cuddling with my girls why we watch a movie.  They chose to cuddle.  The movie my eldest picked out was Les Miserables (on my top 10).  If Jean Val Jean could live a life of redemption, so can I.  I just don’t want to live through a revolution.  God is faithful.  I’m seeing it more everyday.