Peace, Joy and brighter days ahead.

 I had a really nice day today. It was an encouragement for the last couple of days where I was a bit down.  I realize I just have to suck it up during the bad days and survive.  This is my new normal.  I just have to consider the days with the children as bonus days.  They always lift my spirits.  It started yesterday.  Because I didn’t have my kids I got to go see a movie.  I love going to movies and actually prefer seeing them on my own.  I splurged a bit on myself and joined AMC’s movies A-list where for $23 a month I can see up to 3 movies a week.(not a paid endorser for AMC but I should be).  To make this work financially I need to see at least 1.5 movies a week.  I’ve been able to do that for the most part.  I do have a lot more time on my hands being alone.  So yesterday I was able to see a Norwegian movie, Sisu 2.  I didn’t feel like I had to pay for it since It’s a part of my package.  So I’m able to see these types of more obscure movies because of the program.  

I had a great talk with God this morning.  He is revealing so much about Himself to me.  I’m really tuned into hearing his voice again.  I’m on the right wavelength now for reception for His voice and guidance.  I went to a meeting this morning then out to breakfast with a friend.  There is something about fellowshiping/helping out another person in need.  It takes the focus off of myself onto the other person.  For me that is just good mental health.  As soon as I start to feel sorry for myself (which I’m loathe to do) God usually brings someone in my life in a worse situation.  The whole perspective thing helps me keep my mind in order.  No matter what, there is always someone doing better than you and someone doing worse.  This helps me put my life in the proper context.  I don’t have it that bad.  In fact life is pretty good right now.  I just have to anticipate the grief and depression will come in waves.  Right now the waves are at low tide at this very moment.  But the tide will rise again and I have to be ready for it.  Time heals all wounds and it sure seems to be helping with mind.  Yes there will be bad days ahead most likely in the near future.  But my prayer and hope are that the waves of adversity come fewer and far between.  

Now I am happy tonight besides my peace and joy.  I’m attempting to maintain and protect my peace and joy as my new normal.  I have to fight to maintain my peace sometimes.  But the happiness there too is entirely circumstantial.  Every once in a while circumantial happiness is OK too.  I know it may be temporary but its better than wallowing in grief.    I was able to work out, see all of my children and even take my middle daughter to Funniest Person in the Triangle.  FPT is growing in popularity.  We’ve had 20+ people for the last three weeks.  This brings me an immense amount of pride.  People seem to be really enjoying themselves as we offer a unique and free event to the public.  It’s a fun date night or a fun family date night.  The owner is even shelling out for free Pizzal.  It’s an investment in people I hope our customers appreciate.  My wife was nice enough to let me take the dog home which he’s thrilled to be with me.  He always runs around my town house excited when we first get here.  It’s like he’s thinking “I get to stay this time?  Hooray.”

Overall I’m feeling amazingly blessed even though this is not how I would have written my life to be.  I know there are brighter days ahead because God is faithful.