Dating Sucks

Im sitting in the Zain Basketball Arena in a district called Um Al-Hassan watching Muharraq battle it out with Isa Town in the playoff round of Bahrain’s Professional Basketball League. Muharraq is coached by my roommate Pat. They have a 10 point lead led largely by the three point shooting skill of Big man, Lamond Murray. OK enough of the sportswriter talk. Actually at one point in my career I wanted to call professional sports or write about them as I did in college. Im so glad I didn’t go that route. Im still an avid sportsfan but it just seems like there are so many other things I can sink my teeth into. Sports are a fun diversion but I still want to change the world.

I had a phone call before the game from a dear friend. We caught up about the marriage and the trip to the U.S. and then she told me she met a boy. I was happy for her as this particular person is a beautiful inside and out and has a heart for God. She deserves to find the perfect match for her and Im sure she will. Since she knew how God talks to me, she wanted me to pray and give her a good word back. I guess that makes me a little like a priest or a fortune cookie, or even a magic 8-ball depending on your perspective. But I was honored that she trusted me enough to confide in me. God did indeed give me a very specific word for her. Im excited to share it with her.

But the whole conversation, is he the one, will he call, what if I leave/he leaves, are there other girls/guys, why hasn’t he called, what does it mean if they sit a certain way, hold a posture, open up a door/not open a door, laughs or doesn’t laugh at my jokes? I think insecurity outweighs security in the dating world 9:1. But when you find the right one it’s a bit like winning a lottery or hitting a 3 point shot at the buzzer. Think about it, I must have dated (oh I better not say how many) a lot of girls and wound up with one. So if you are a statistician you could argue that I have a 98% failure ratio. That percentage probably gets worse when you factor in my failed marriage. How many girls do you have to date before you find “The one?” It’s a bit like playing the lottery…eventually you might get it. It just got me to thinking…Dating sucks. I’ve never really liked dating. I’ve just been on too many dates where you know within the first couple of moments if its going to work or not. If it doesn’t work then you have to suffer through the next painful 90 minutes. One particularly galling date happened to me a few years ago. Actually two come to mind. It seems that once the girls knew there was no interest, they started drinking…heavily. Im not sure if it was to ease the pain of rejection or because they knew I was buying and bottoms up, its an open tab for Beeman. Either way the experiences left me not liking the dating prospects too much. That’s why I didn’t mind the quick dating process for Jennifer and I. If you know, you know and we knew. We just saved a few years of the waiting. Really since Jennifer and I have not been dating for too long there are still some aspects that we are learning about each other. Most of the time its very refreshing, like “Oh that’s just another thing I love about you.” Its not like oh…I didn’t realize that altered personality of yours had such a violent streak. That’s the potential, but not the case with us. I married Jennifer so quickly because God told me to do so. So in many ways I was just being obedient to him. Whenever you are obedient to God, you can’t lose. I say this to say that Im very fortunate. This is unlike my dear friend who still has to pray, investigate, interrogate, and hope for the best. I guess I have it easy.

The weather is starting to turn here now that it is spring. When I say turn, I mean to say it is absolutely beautiful. It was 75 degrees today with no humidity. Im so glad its spring and almost kayak season. Im planning on breaking it out this weekend. I have to wok on my belly for my new bride. Speaking of brides, my dear friend Reji is getting his at the end of the week. Reji is a co-worker and real man of God. He started this Christian chat site called ablaze.net if you want to check it out. Reji sees his family about 2-3 months a year and is working here because he can make a better living for his family. Its not like Reji is being a bad father, or irresponsible husband. In fact its quite the opposite. His children will have more opportunities because of the sacrifice he is making here. That is the norm here and I think around the world. Many families are separated because of economic hardships. So if you are a two parent family living together raising your children, please don’t take that for granted. Very few people in the world can afford that luxury. You have to think of it as a global luxury. I’ve heard it said that if you woke up in the U.S. this morning you are richer than 80% of the world. Count your blessings and never take them for granted. Also next time you see a foreign worker in a fast food restaurant or a convenience story please treat them with respect. They are most likely separated from their family and being very responsible. I remember my friend Ashok. After grad school I was delivering pizzas and parking cars. Ashok was a fellow Dominos Pizza deliver driver. He worked at 7-11 during the day and at night delivered pizzas. He must have had 5-6 hours sleep a night. He sent all the money back to his family in India. The world could always use more people that are accountable and take responsibility for their families and their actions.