Being real

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you can probably tell Im very passionate about a lot of things in this life, my faith, my work, my value system, my children, I’d like to be passionate about a love interest, but I might have to wait on that one. Because of my passion and confidence in God, sometimes my attitude may come across to some as self-righteous. If it does, I apologize because that is not my heart at all. I think the compensate for that, that is why Im so open with my hurts, pains, and frustrations. Its interesting that preachers, unless they are caught, very rarely (at least according to my observations) share their downfalls or struggles. I wonder why that is. Do they need to keep a certain image in tact so their congregation isn’t disillusioned? Are their parishioner’s faith that dependent on God’s conduit? If so, that is pretty sad. Our faith needs to be built upon our own relationship with God, not someone else’s. I think I don’t have that same restriction. That’s why I try to be open and honest about my fears, doubts, and shortcomings. I look at King David as an example. He left it all out there on the table, the good the bad and the ugly. I try to be transparent as well…I think its part of my testimony. I want to be real with people so that they can feel they can make it as a Christian as well. I think guilt and condemnation are key tools of the enemy. Oh you can’t be a Christian, you did this and this…you’re a failure. The enemy guilts us out of a deeper relationship with the Creator. That is why the Bible is full of people that fail. They are there as illustrative purposes to show us that God can work through anyone. So I try to be very real myself, and not just espouse “Holier than though” (perception) theology. So I do make mistakes and I do fall…and I get back up. Micah 7:8 says: Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy. Though I fall I will rise; Though I dwell in darkness, the LORD is a light for me. I think every Christian can take those words to heart. Like this weekend for instance I had what I consider a small slip up. Minor according to mine and the world’s standards but sin nonetheless. I realize my slip up equates with murder in the eyes of God since all sin is the same. However the important thing is that certain sins have more psychological consequence than other sins. For instance Murder or Adultery will have a lot more of a long-term psychological impact on you than say a little white lie.

So my little sin had a big impact on me psychologically this week. What sin does is take God’s protective covering off of your life. So there were a couple of hardships that happened to me this week that really zapped me of my peace and joy. Its easy to have peace and joy when everything is going right, but what makes a Christian different is maintaining that peace and joy when life gets crappy. That is when your testimony shines the brightest. That is what makes Christians different. So by doing my sin, I essentially was taking the emotional/psychological force field down. So when I am right with God the missiles just bounce off and harmlessly fall to the ground. But when I sin, those missiles pierce the skin and hurt. So a few things that ordinarily wouldn’t affect me because of my spiritual strength, really hurt because of my temporary weakness because I let compromise slip into my life. But don’t worry, this was a momentary lapse and Im back on track now, I just have the residual pain to deal with.

You would think I would learn my lesson now. But I think that is human nature. We are in a cycle of sin, repentance, blessing, like the Israelites were. As Im maturing in my faith, my periods of righteousness are getting longer and longer, but I do stub my toe. When I do, the enemy is right there to pounce. I need to get my spiritual fitness back up. Get back into the Spiritual gym, which is the word of God. I think Im sharing this to show that Im human, I make mistakes, and hopefully it will give you hope too. Im not a hypocrite as one person has accused me of. If I was, I think I would not be sharing the warts and ugliness and all.