Sunday, January 31, 2010

Looking for signs

I keep asking for God for confirmation about my relationship with Jenni. God and I have conversations. I tell him God, I really love this girl, so if its not your will please give me a sign, like a giant billboard telling me that she’s not the one. Yet each time I pray that prayer an opposite sign happens confirming that she absolutely IS the one. There is not a doubt a mind. I’ve spent hours talking to Jennifer today. So instead of posting my own stuff, I decided to borrow Jenni’s blog. It totally confirms that she is the one that I will marry. There is a not a doubt in my mind. Please pray for my kids. There is a lot of strife there.

Jenni's blog....

If you are not living on the East Coast of the United States then you are probably fortunate enough to be living a weekend full of sunshine or at least above freezing weather. Unfortunately for me, the story has a different plot. I don't think the temperatures today reached above 25 degrees Fahrenheit. Lucky for me, I had a lot of work to do inside. And the fortunate thing is that today is Saturday, my favorite day of the week. Saturdays are the days that I get to speak with the love of my life face to face for most of the day, between activities, which for him were directing a film and going to a movie. For me meant pouring myself over research articles, running my dogs in the snow which they absolutely love, sledding down the frozen street with my neighbors and their kids, standing on a sled and attempting to "snow board" which was quite fun since diving off into the snow doesn't hurt at all, I made Broccoli soup from scratch. 2 pots of coffee and 4 hours of conversation later, here I am. The high in Bahrain today was 77 Fahrenheit, just a tad warmer than here, but it won't be long now until I am there, enjoying the warm sun and arid climate. OH yes. I cannot wait. I just might never come home.

Rick is the most amazing man. We are absolutely convinced that we are perfect together, and our suspicions will be confirmed soon enough. IN 11.5 days, I will be confronting him for the first time face to face. I want that moment to last forever. Since we have never really seen one another, I do believe that it will be, love at first sight. Since we already love one another deeply, I will go a step further and say, I will fall more deeply in love with him at that moment, and time will stand still. We will be completely unaware of anything around us, noises will cease to be, and the space between, will feel like miles, as we close the gap towards one another, step by step, walking briskly, trying not to run into one another's arms.... I am full of butterflies just imagining the moment, and no, i do not think that I have built it up so much that I am leading myself to disappointment. I do not think that at all. NO far from it. I don't think that I will be able to fathom the experience until I live it first hand. I am almost certain that my body will go lifeless as we embrace, that I will completely melt into his arms and no longer be able to support the weight of my own body. Today while we were talking, we discussed some very personal goals and plans for our immediate future. Now that he is alseep, I can hear his voice singing these words to me: "you are the one, oh, you are the one. You make it all worthwhile, you make it all worthwhile."

The joy that he brings me is far greater than even the happiest of moments that I have lived out in my life. I have never, in my entire life, been full of so much joy. The more we talk, the more i see his face, hear his voice, watch him smile and laugh.... the more certain i become that he is what I have been searching for my entire life. I am quite certain of that. Its quite sappy, and even more ridiculous, but how great our love has grown over such a short period of time is a testimony in itself. We are certain to face hardships and struggles, but who doesn't? We will have each other, and because of that, we can weather the storm... be it snow or sand... we can get through any test of time. MY life has become quite surreal, Even my friends, people that know me well, even people that attended my first wedding... Even they can testify - they have NEVER seen my smile so big, nor occur this often. MY cheeks are quite sore from all the smiling and laughing, but i think this is in preparation for a lifetime of constant smiles and hearty laughter. It won't be long now, until any reservations I hold are completely stricken from my mind. I'm more certain now than I was yesterday, and know that todays reassurance won't hold a candle to tomorrow.

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