Wrestling with the boys

It was another great day with my boys. The more time we spend together the more we get along. Its like they had to go through detox. I think there are a lot of negative things that are subtly influenced into their lives about me. Its all part of the Parental Alienation. Part of it is taking ownership of their own feelings and defending the other parent that they no influence on their feelings. So we have had to push through all the negativity to final get to the positive. Its like now, they are reminded of the special relationship that we used to have. Max has been extremely concerned about me treating him more like an adult and less like a kid. I think that house hasn’t been able to come up with any really negative about me…so they have to turn molehills into mountains to make me the bad guy. So silly messages…and being goofy with my children have become the ultimate taboo. So for the past few days I have painstakingly avoided wrestling, tickling, or doing anything they asked me not to do. However, they are starting to feel very safe and comfortable around me. They are remembering the fun we used to have. Its like they are becoming my children again. Simple, fun, unassuming. They are now instigating the silliness and the wrestling matches. We always used to wrestle, that is how I showed my love. Now that way is taboo all of a sudden? I know they are getting older but it seems like there is another motivation at play to hurt whatever relationship I have with them. So today was a little bit of a breakthrough. I first noticed it with Lindsey whenever I was commuting back and forth between Texas and California. There was always a 24 hour warm up period. After the first day, she warmed up to me and became my daughter again. But when she stopped speaking or seeing me we weren’t able to have that 24 hour warm up and now that division has become like Mt. Everest. Im here for two weeks, and im going to see her for five hours while my parents are here. If the shoe were on the other foot and I had full custody and the other parent was visiting…you better believe I would be much more influential in encouraging the relationship. A good relationship with either the father or the mother is ultimately in the best interest of the child. That is the thing that should be encouraged over everything.

I have been told dozens if not hundreds of times that all I need to do is love them. Eventually they will see the truth. The boys now..are seeing the truth they know I love them. They will see me for my actions not my words and they will be able to make their own decisions as they get older. Im seeing that in my boys right now. Eventually it will happen with my daughter…though it might take years. I hate the damage that is being inflicted.

Spencer wanted me to set the alarm for seven so he could get up early and play wii. Max and I slept in. Then we all went to breakfast together. Then we came back, cleaned the house and Spencer and I played the wii. He is so much better at me. But he lets me stay close so my spirit isn’t too discouraged. He gave me a little bit too easy of a challenge and I wound up beating him for the first time in 500 tries. It was a miracle…similar to the 69 mets. We went shopping and the boys helped me make spaghetti. Spaghetti is one of two things I know how to make. Then we all curled up together to watch a dvd. My roommate has over 700 dvd’s so its like we have a blockbuster in our house.

So it was a nice quiet day in the house. Not a lot of activity…just lots of together time. The wrestling and playing felt great…like we were a family again.