All night Lasertag

It’s 2am and Im writing to you from the Lobby of the Laserquest building. Try as I might I wasn’t able to talk the boys out of this. They had their heart set on all night lasertag. They were so jazzed about it. I must be getting old. So from 12am-6am its all night laser tagging each other. Its such a boy thing. There are about 30 of us here and actually its pretty fun. It makes me feel like Im being a good dad…and I am a good dad.

I was able to talk the boys out of the downtown aquarium. We just had too much going on today. We wound up cramming about two months worth of activity into two weeks. Im sad its coming to an end in two days. I love my kids soooooo much. After we saw a movie, we met a dear friend and her kids at Itz. My boys lost their friends/semi-cousins so to speak in the divorce as they very seldom get to see them anymore. And they were particularly close to these other kids until about a year ago and then the relationship was severed. They have lost so much in the divorce, I hate for them to miss out on dear friends they have had. So Itz is kind of a teenage version of Chuck E. Cheese. The boys absolutely love the games. Spencer Im finding is very good with younger kids. He really enjoys entertaining them. So it was nice catching up with this friend and neat seeing the boys interact with the other kids.

Im so happy that my new roommate Dr. Dave Jones has moved in. He’s a very sharp guy and our spirits just instantly connect. We both feel it was a divine appointment. He went through the same thing in the divorce as I did…I mentioned earlier. It seems that he and I are both trying to debunk the stereotypes of divorce. Whenever there is infidelity or someone wants to pursue the divorce most people automatically assume that it is the husband that is the perpetrator and it’s the wife that is the victim. It is also widely assumed that the children are best taken care of by the mother. These are myths that Dave is trying to attack in his book that he is writing. I was so judgmental against divorced people growing up. I always assumed that divorced people were not very good Christians. Now that the shoe is on my foot I see the world in a whole new perspective.

For the longest time I always wanted to be recognized as Alumnus of the year at my alma mater Evangel. But now that Im divorced there is no chance of that happening. That has a lot to do with the judgment of the AG that I grew up with. Yes divorce is ugly, unfortunate, and downright sucks. But it takes two get married and only one to rip it apart. I think that is what Dave will attack in his book. I tell people all the time….Marriage is a commitment…its not an emotion. Love is a choice not a feeling. You choose to fall in love and you choose to fall out of love. Sometimes that choice is easy…sometimes its difficult. I remember the hardest prayer I ever prayed was three years ago just before my divorce was made final. I said God…either change her heart or change mine. If we aren’t going to reconcile…help me stop loving her. That was so conflicting for me. Because it was a prayer that I didn’t want to come true. I prayed this prayer traveling west on the 290 in a traffic jam around 10 miles from my house. I remember it vividly. I said God if you choose not to have me reconciled with my wife, I pray that I find another…and I want the next one to be prettier, more intelligent, more of a heart for you, more balanced, a great mother, and a few other details. At the time I didn’t think a girl like that even existed. But I’ve learned you have to be very specific with God. Perhaps that is why Im not remarried as of yet. Im still holding out for God’s best. God’s best will come, but I have to be patient for it. I think its better to be alone for a season then marrying the wrong person to alleviate a season of loneliness. Its funny…I’ve always had a recurring dream while I was married…I had this dream about 40 times which is a lot over the course of 15 years especially since I dream very little. In this dream I loved my wife passionately…but she had no Idea who I was. I was a stranger in her eyes and I was often with someone else longing to be with her…but she had no idea. Its bizarre but that dream has come true. Was God trying to prepare me for my ultimate divorce? Was it a premonition because subconsciously I could feel my wife discontinue to love me? Im not sure but I still remember the feeling of despair, loneliness and regret in that dream. Another strange thing, since our separation and divorce I never had that dream again. Further…I never had any dreams of reconciliation with my ex-wife and family. That I think is weird since I dreamt and prayed for a reconciliation for the longest time. So if you are happily married…love your spouse. Never take them for granted. Next time you come across a divorced person in your life…give them an emotional if not physical hug. They need it far more than any married person does.

Too many people try to live their lives chasing the butterflies in their stomach that they used to feel as teenagers. That sure is an empty way to live. Its funny and this doesn’t make a lot of sense…but I know more about what makes a marriage work now that I’ve had a failed marriage than I ever knew when I was married.

I made it two rounds of lasertag with the boys. Im sitting this round out…but I’ll back at it at 4am. I guess this staying up all night is good as it will help me acclimate to the jetlag I’ll be experiencing 48 hours down the road. Oh I found up some good news. I was able to use my points to upgrade to business class on the return flight home. It actually makes me look forward to the 16 hour flight. It also helps with the extra baggage allowance. Im bringing to Bahrain more and more materials. Im bringing a case of Bibles and those weigh a lot for instance. Im truly blessed. I’m happy my boys wanted to experience this all nighter with their dad. I’ll post some pics later next week when I get back to the Middle East. Keep your prayers coming they are working. One of the deals I made with God before committing myself to the Middle East. I said God…if you are sending me to Bahrain…you have got to take care of my kids. He assured me that he would. Other than the parental alienation which they’ll realize soon enough….they all seem to be doing well. That is a blessing.