Money where the mouth is

We are having cash flow issues at work again. I think that was one of the issues I think God was trying to warn me about. I spoke with Tanya today and that is an issue the company has faced for years. Get fat during the good months so you can hibernate/survive during the summer months. Nader did try to warn me about it. But I guess I had to experience it the first time through. I did bring in three major video projects and that has kept us afloat so far. We have thousands of dollars of outstanding money that will come to us in the next 30-60 days because of it, but we just have to make payroll until that happens. One of the reasons why I was so upset on Thursday is that I was not able to hire one of the candidates for the sales position that I wanted to hire. The reason, he was too young, just 23. But the kid is so sharp. We still wound up hiring a very good and sharp salesperson. Im excited about him. We haven’t had any productivity out of the sales position since I’ve been here. The onus of the lack of cash flow ultimately falls on me, so its my neck on the line. While we have developed a great product and efficient staff, we have to have more projects. Im told the work just rolls in right after Ramadan. So Im preparing for the feast. But until that point gets here, I had to be aggressive. Khalifa told me on Thursday as I was arguing for the kid, if you believe in him so much, you pay for him. So that’s exactly what Im doing. I know this is a rather unorthodox move for a GM, but Im absolutely an unorthodox guy. So Im taking a cut in salary so I can bring this guy aboard. I believe in him that much. It is a gamble, but hopefully after three months he’ll have more than paid for himself. With two really great sales people, its only a matter of time before the ship rights itself, and I can go back to what I do really well…making movies. Im good at sales, and now negotiating, but I’d rather put my focus on the product. I feel very confident about that.

So the whole six weeks of crap continued with a note from X. I’m going to vent here, so if the negativity disturbs you, stop reading and come back tomorrow for more happy happy joy joy. I got an email from X wanting more money for medical bills…That is all well and good. My son has been asking about me coming back to his Talent show in November for three months now. It is very important to him. So in response to X, I asked if I could have the kids for a couple of days over thanksgiving to coincide with me coming back to Max’s play. I also asked what she wanted to do at Christmas and that I could be flexible. She responded that my weekend are the 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends and I could see the kids if the talent show fell on one of those weekends. Further, my visitation for Christmas starts on Dec. 26, and goes to the first day of school, but, she is expecting an addition to the family (she’s pregnant) and wants the kids to be at the hospital when the baby is born and when they come home from the hospital. So I responded, lets just have a kitchen table compromise, let me have the week at Thanksgiving and I’ll do my Christmas with them then. That way you could have them uninterrupted during Christmas and when you have the baby. Then I told her congratulations, and I meant it. She responded, your weekends are the 1st, 3rd, and 5th, there will be no compromises or deviations form the decree. She gets the kids as it is, for 11 months a year and she can’t spare a couple of days in November? It’s truly amazing how justified she thinks she is in her own mind. It reminds me of the time two years ago, my daughter was the lead in the school play. My parents and I wanted to fly back to see her perform, but it was not the 1st 3rd, or 5th weekend, so X wouldn’t allow a sleep over at my house, we couldn’t even take the kids to dinner or ice cream after. So my parents decided not to come, but I did. My boys weren’t allowed to sit with me during the performance, and could only speak to me for two minutes during intermission. I later found out that night, they all spent the night at their friend’s houses (rather than spend time with their dad) and when I asked for and was rejected to go to breakfast with them on Monday, I found out they were home alone the whole day. The question is…I know that Proverbs says a man’s ways is justified in his own mind…but really I can’t see how X justifies this. There is so much hatred and bitterness not spoken through words…but in action. Its sad, because while X thinks that she is punishing me for some perceived offense, the real losers are the kids. The kids always lose in divorce, that is why God hates it so much. I think divorce is the ultimate act of selfishness unless there is abuse or continuous unrepentant adultery involved. Everyone tells me that the kids will see the truth eventually. Light always exposes dark.

On the bright side, I fasted today as per God’s instruction. While this episode with X, could have been emotionally devastating, I feel stronger now. It doesn’t make sense, but with everything that is going on, I have more peace and joy at this very moment than I did last week when things were peachy. I guess this is what it feels like to be cool in the furnace. On an even brighter note, I beat Darren (who skunked me last time) 3 out of 4 in squash, and I didn’t hit him once. In all fairness to Darren, I think I was playing with unfair advantage, God knew I needed this one.