“Comparison steals joy when born of envy, but births gratitude when born of empathy.”

 I have often said that I find my true happiness when I put other people needs ahead of my own. While this is great in theory it doesn’t always work in practice. Without Christ we are all flawed and selfish beings.  Even with Christ we have to fight against our sin nature of self-centeredness.  I’m at my most content when I deny self to put God and others first.  This is especially challenging when I am in despair.  But what I’m finding is that in despair is exactly when I need to put other people’s needs ahead of my own.  Maybe that is my pathway to healing to get the focus off of myself.  Feeling sorry for myself has never accomplished anything for myself.  It only digs the pit of despair more to make things worse.  We can always justify when we act or or self-medicate but that never accomplishes anything.  I hope that none of you are interpreting this blog as a means to feel sorry for me.  I do not want or need sympathy.  Prayer is one thing but sympathy, is another.  I am just crying out so other people might be encouraged to cry out in their pain.  We place too many masks on to fool society into thinking we are OK when we are really not.  I’m trying to lead by example with my vulnerability.  

I went out to breakfast with a new friend today.  Our situations/stories are eerily similar, almost identical, only the names have been changed.  As this person was recounting their story they were absolutely broken in emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, and maybe even physically.  I found myself trying to encourage them.  The more that I spoke God’s words or peace and comfort into his life the better I felt about myself and my situation.  This is not say that I am in a better than him, rather my perspective is different.  By focusing on his problems made mine seem so distant and manageable.  Suddenly I was the optimistic one full of hope.  That feeling of optimism and hope felt great.  Nothing changed in my circumstances.  It’s just the dull ache of the slow process of healing.  Can God release and deliver me from my issues instantly and miraculously?  Sure He can do anything.  But when He doesn’t deliver me, I still have to trust him.  Job, which I often compare myself to (although I haven’t been blameless and upright like him) Said, “Though He slay me, still I trust in Him.” Job 13:15.  While I understand that in theory, It’s something that must be practiced.  God has delivered me time and time again from messes I both created and did not create.  I need to remember that He will get me out of this mess too only not in my timing but His perfect timing.  I hope I learn what I need to learn quickly.  I wish we could all be like Neo from the Matrix, and jack in to learn God’s lessons instantly.  But God’s timing works differently.  I wish it could change but I need to walk in this season and trust Him.  It was nice even for just an hour to have empathy for a friend.  I did interrupt him one time, when they said “You don’t know what I’m going through.”  I laughed and then went on a five minute rant to illustrate that I indeed knew what he was going through. His jaw dropped when I gave him my perspective and point of view.   I have people in my life that are feeding into me.  My prayer is that I can find people in my life that I can feed into them.  This was best illustrated with a prayer that I heard today that was attributed to St. Francis:

(IYKYN)

Lord, make me a channel of thy peace;

that where there is hatred, I may bring love;

that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness;

that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;

that where there is error, I may bring truth;

that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;

that where there is despair, I may bring hope;

that where there are shadows, I may bring light;

that where there is sadness, I may bring joy.

Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;

to understand than to be understood;

to love than to be loved.

For it is by self-forgetting that one finds.

It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.

It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life.

Amen.

This is the prayer that I need to remember to get the focus off of myself and onto others.  

Im kicking myself and feeling a bit sorry for myself at this very moment.  I had the opportunity to see my Middle daughter but because of a mis communication I missed the opportunity.  Im sad because seeing her would have made my day.  I miss those children so much that any opportunity I get to interact with them is wonderful.  I took them and everything I had for granted for too long.  I won’t do that again.   There will be other days, maybe even tomorrow.  

I need to keep everything in perspective.  Someone will always have it better than I do, and someone will always have it worse.  Why does human nature compel us to rubber neck when we see car accidents?  We do it to feel better about ourselves grateful we’re not in that situation.  

If “Comparison is the Thief of Joy” for the good times, Then Comparison with someone struggling or less fortunate can be a breeding ground for contentment.  Put more poetically with an assist from Chat GPT:  “Comparison steals joy when born of envy, but births gratitude when born of empathy.”  So that is my prayer now.  Lord bring people into my life that I may encourage.  Thank you for reading and being a part of my life.  Im grateful for you.