I’m trying to stack my good days together. Today was another good day. I also have to redefine good as being “not bad” I have this little routine I do in school. Instead of taking attendance or roll call, I ask a specific question then each student has to stand in front of the class to answer it. We do it so routinely that it’s not a big deal to them anymore. What they don’t realize is I’m getting them comfortable in public speaking which is the #1 fear of most adults. The answers to varying questions are often insightful. It’s also a subtle way for me and others to share our faith in a safe and non-judgmental setting. Sometimes I select a short video to share with the students like, what’s your favorite breakfast and I show a video of breakfasts around the world. Or what is your favorite movie, what is your greatest accomplishment, that sort of thing.
Today the question was who are you most thankful for? Soul Pancake creates these great short videos I use often for my question of the day. Here is the video I showed with today’s question: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHv6vTKD6lg
The premise behind this video is that the more you share your appreciation/gratitude of others the more your happiness increases. It was a unique experiment. Their findings I absolutely concur with. So I always go first to model the behavior I want to see. As I was talking about my late father as the person I am most thankful for, I unexpectedly became emotional. It really surprised/shocked the students to see me start to tear up. They aren’t used to seeing their teachers in a vulnerable position like that. But if I’m asking them to be vulnerable with their art/performance I need to model that behavior too. I explained that I was able to write my father a letter showing him how much I appreciated him. I read it to him last Christmas while he was well enough to understand and appreciate it. I started crying because I was so thankful to not have any regrets because I told him everything I needed to tell him while I had the chance. (Here is a reminder for all of you to do the same. Don’t wait until it’s too late)
Thank you Mike and Mechanics and The Living Years. It was quite a beautiful moment actually. I enjoyed being able to express myself in this manner. There have been so many tears I’ve shed over the last year, but these were tears of thankfulness and appreciation. My father lived a good long life. He modeled to me what a great father and husband should be. I have tried to emulate it but I’ve failed but I can keep trying to get it right. It was very cleansing and healing cry for me. I don’t do this everyday. I think that is what caught the students by surprise. A lot of times students put teachers in a box, labeling them and dehumanizing them. . Teachers tend to do the same thing sometimes especially with the challenging students. But we need to remember we all have reasons that dictate our behaviors. We try to put people in boxes so we don’t have to think about the complexities in life because that is extra effort. The truth is not always so simple especially when you consider context.
The overall take from this observation and video is that I need to be more appreciative of people and things I have in life. Yes this isn’t the way I expected my life to turn out, but still I have a lot to be thankful for. I need to remember to focus on the things I have and not on the things I don’t have. Life could be a lot worse. I have it so much better than the rest of the world. Right now at this moment, I’m trying to continue to be filled with hope. I’m praying that I survived my Nadir (low point) and that things will improve incrementally from here.
It’s interesting. I had the best 48 hours of my life in NYC about 4-5 years ago. It was a magical time and one that I’ll remember forever. I remember thinking, is this the highlight of my life? How can I possibly top this? Ironically enough, and slowly but surely things started to unravel. Ever so gradually my life became worse after that culminating in what (I hope) will be the lowest point of my life a few months ago. Will I ever hit that Apex/High Point again in this lifetime? I hope so. It’s worth striving for. And I’m going to appreciate everyone that has helped me along the way. I also hope I can help others along the way too. I’ve found true happiness is found when I put other people’s needs ahead of my own. It’s still nice to have encouragement along the way too. Someone wrote me a quick note of appreciation yesterday and it literally made my week. (It doesn’t take much, I know). I just know that God is faithful and He will send people/things your way to help you when things look bleak. I have a small thing, I’m thankful for, I’m unexpectedly getting my dog for a couple of days. It’s the little things I’m thankful for. I’m also grateful that I have an outlet to share my feelings with you. It makes me feel less alone. I better wrap this up, because my dog is patiently waiting for me to go to bed so he can lean against me all night long. He’s a bed hog and bed hogs are welcome now.
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