Connectivity

I missed the blog last night not because I didn’t have anything to say, but rather I didn’t have convenient Internet access. The Internet has been down in my apartment for the last two days and I feel like Im clawing at the walls. Why? Im addicted to connectivity and information. Im able to connect at work which keeps my fix going but not at home. I thought I’d be fine for a couple of days until the engineer makes it out to fix it. But no…that is not the case. I think the most frustrating aspect is that it cuts off the majority of my communication with Jennifer. We usually chat/talk on either Skype or Yahoo Messenger which is free. I can call her cell phone on skype which is .02 a minute which is cheap. She can also call me, but that is a little more expensive at .23 a minute. So we talk fast and tend to take shorter breaths when we chat that way. I was thinking theoretically about how dependent I am on the internet. Pat and I wanted to go see a movie, yet we had a no idea how to find out the times nor the reviews. I can’t imagine going to see a film without first reading the reviews. He asked me if I could call anyone that would know. Finally, the ever resourceful me, got an idea and I trudged down to the market to buy a newspaper. “When I was your age, I had to look up movie times in the paper, walking in the snow uphill both ways to go buy it.” OK…maybe its not that extreme but Im getting used to technology.

I think the internet has made me feel like Im not really a world away. Its my security blanket culturally I think. I was thinking about the recent fast I did. It wasn’t that difficult, just two days. But I would imagine a two day fast without the internet, would be excruciating. I think that is what I am going to next. I don’t enjoy fasting, but Im being obedient when I do fast. I like the results of the further intimacy with God.

So last night I was home pondering what to do with myself on a weekend night with no internet. Then my good friend called. I wont share his name, because he comes to my group and is Muslim. We have so many interesting talks about God, our beliefs and our faith. So he invited me out to a birthday party with a bunch of his friends. This was the fourth time I’ve gotten together with this group. They are a fun bunch. It was nice to go out and socialize. I was afraid I was becoming very hermit like. Last year it was all about me going out to the clubs and various types of parties. That doesn’t interest me in the least right now. Instead it just seems like Im biding time until Jennifer is either able to come out here, or I go back there. Im not sure what direction the Lord will lead us here at least not yet. He did indicate to me that this very difficult and important decision will be quite an easy one to make. That is the beauty of God. I remember growing up in the AG. Everyone was so consumed with “God’s Will.” What is God’s will, Im searching for God’s Will, What are you going to do, whatever is God’s will. I think with some of the people that became quite a cop-out. (By the way that movie is dreadful). I think the more you have to search for God’s will the harder it is to find. Rather, all you have to do is search for God then everything you do…will be in his will. All the really difficult decisions then magically become easy. If you are struggling with a decision I think you might be doing something wrong. I think as long as you seek God, if the path you are on, is not “God’s Will,” He will make it clear to you with some sort of road block or detour. Its quite a simple concept really. I think God created himself to be simple that’s why Jesus loved children so much, they just believed. As we get older and want rational explanations that is when it seems to get more difficult and convoluted. God just wants us to walk by faith. That’s what I’ve been doing the last four years and thus…everything has worked out ok.

I went to church this morning and afterward had lunch at Burger King (Don’t tell Jennifer she’s trying to get me to eat healthier) (Though I did go on a hour plus Kayak ride to burn it off after) and this Burger King had Wifi. So I got my fix, checked the score of the A’s game the night before, read emails, saw what was trending on Yahoo and generally felt caught up with society. So Now Im about five hours past the fix, and Im getting itchy again for the net. I want to call Jennifer but I can’t without internet access. So I think im headed to my office or a wi-fi friendly place to log in and post this. This connectivity addiction…all kind of embarrassing.