Rick Beeman

  A funny thing happened to me today. At least I thought it was funny and I laughed.  So that’s a good sign.  It was raining outside and I came in and hung up my raincoat.  Right next to the coat, I put on my light Warriors sweat coat because it was more comfortable (Picture below). Then I ran upstairs to take off my sneakers and put on my slippers.    I was just about to blog about what a nice beautiful day it was for me then it hit me.  I wasn’t going to mention anything about a neighborhood and I don’t have a toy train running through my town home.  However, I do have several puppets scattered throughout my home.   Does this mean that I’m officially old now?  Or have I just become Mr. Rogers?  Upon further investigation Mr. Rogers never mentioned his wife on the show so he also seemed to be single on air. (He occasionally mentioned his wife in interviews outside of the show but never on the show.).   As far as children on th...

  I have often said that I find my true happiness when I put other people needs ahead of my own. While this is great in theory it doesn’t always work in practice. Without Christ we are all flawed and selfish beings.  Even with Christ we have to fight against our sin nature of self-centeredness.  I’m at my most content when I deny self to put God and others first.  This is especially challenging when I am in despair.  But what I’m finding is that in despair is exactly when I need to put other people’s needs ahead of my own.  Maybe that is my pathway to healing to get the focus off of myself.  Feeling sorry for myself has never accomplished anything for myself.  It only digs the pit of despair more to make things worse.  We can always justify when we act or or self-medicate but that never accomplishes anything.  I hope that none of you are interpreting this blog as a means to feel sorry for me.  I do not want or need sympathy.  P...

  I had a very strong impression a few days ago that this was going to be a very tough week. So I was able to prepare for it…or so I thought.  I did blog about this a couple of days ago.  So I had a bad day on Thursday but a surprisingly good day on Friday.  I thought I was out of the woods.  Boy was I wrong.  Yesterday, Saturday was absolutely brutal.  Did anything bad happen to me to make it horrible? no.  There was just a heaviness on me that I could almost feel.  I was filled with fear, depression and doubt.  It just kind of snuck up on me, right after I finished yesterday’s blog post around 8:00pm.  Some people believe in spiritual attacks and some people don’t.  The great line from the Usual Suspects is “The greatest trick the Devil ever did was convince the world he didn’t exist.”  I felt what can only be described as a dark presence all night last night even waking up in the middle of the night to it. Since this is...

  What a difference a day makes. This was a very good day.  I was filled with peace, joy, and hope virtually the entire day with a few moments of happiness thrown in to boot.  Did anything particular happen to cause this happiness?  No, quite the opposite actually.  But because I had the early warning system from yesterday I was prepared.  Thinking I was going to have a challenging week, I didn’t react negatively when struggles happened. Two or three things occurred that could have ruined my peace.  But because I was semi-expecting them, I did not over react.  It felt great too.  I liken it to being on a beach when a rogue wave hits.  If your back is to the ocean facing away from it, when the big wave hits it will send you end over end out of control.  However when you face the wave you can stand your ground. Maybe you can also lean into it or duck under it because you are anticipating it coming.  Whenever God speaks into me li...

  I believe we were created on this Earth to have Relationship with God.  In Genesis 3:8 it describes God walking in the Garden with Adam in the cool of the day.  Abraham was also called a friend of God.  David was a man after God’s own heart.  So with all this relationship business in the Bible it makes sense that God both speaks and listens to us like any normal relationship.  Too often Christians view communication with God as a one way ticket and use God as a type of Santa Claus.  We don’t spend enough time listening to Him or at least I don’t.  This communication becomes even more muddled with sin in our lives.  I know when I have sin in my life it acts like radio interference.  I try to hear from God but I can’t hear from him clearly like before. The noise sometimes drowns God’s voice or sometimes the enemy comes in and mimics God’s voice taking me off the path.  Both issues happen to me.  The Holy Spirit is a gentleman v...

  I’m trying to stack my good days together. Today was another good day.  I also have to redefine good as being “not bad”  I have this little routine I do in school.  Instead of taking attendance or roll call, I ask a specific question then each student has to stand in front of the class to answer it.  We do it so routinely that it’s not a big deal to them anymore.  What they don’t realize is I’m getting them comfortable in public speaking which is the #1 fear of most adults.  The answers to varying questions are often insightful.  It’s also a subtle way for me and others to share our faith in a safe and non-judgmental setting.  Sometimes I select a short video to share with the students like, what’s your favorite breakfast and I show a video of breakfasts around the world.  Or what is your favorite movie, what is your greatest accomplishment, that sort of thing. Today the question was who are you most thankful for?  Soul Pancake cr...

  A strange sensation came over me today. I was still somewhat depressed from the remnants of a great weekend to the polarity of an empty house.  So I’m glad there is a clinical diagnosis for it ( https://rickbeeman.blogspot.com/2025/10/adjustment-disorder-with-depressed-mood.html ) so it shows that I’m not alone.  This whole depression thing is such a novel concept.  I like to think of myself as the most optimistic guy on the planet.  Yet these circumstances are really challenging me.  One of my places of refuge is the school.  I try to leave my home issues behind.  The students don’t know and most don’t care what I’m going through.  I might have mentioned something about the separation at the beginning of the year but they have minds like goldfish when it comes to other people’s problems.  They have dire (in their minds) issues of their own.  I try to be the cool, firm but fair teacher.  I do have a few issues with students a...

  I was due for a bad day. Well it’s not really that bad, just less than ideal.  I had a great day followed by 3 really good days.  That’s four positive days in a row, a new 2025 record!.  Why were they good days?  (because I didn’t blog about it, you don’t know) I had my children for my visitation for the weekend and Teacher Work Day today.  Even just typing that brought a smile to my face.  Three things have been really helping me survive this pain and loneliness during this separation, 1. Prayer, 2. Working out 3. This blog.  There are some other things too but they pale in comparison.  So for the last three days I forewent #2 and #3 so I could completely focus and be present for my children.  Because I only get to see them about 13-15% of the month, I cherish the time that I do have with them.  I think they enjoy it too, especially the dog.  The dog travels with the girls so I get to see him too.  We didn’t do anything...