I probably did not a very wise thing. I thought it would pass the time and provide some entertainment. For the past five years I purposefully avoided getting hooked on LOST. I observed from a distance knowing if I got too close I would get totally addicted. So I figured enough time had passed. My friend da Music Man, or Russ, loaned me Season 4 and 5 of Alias. It was decent entertainment but got a little ridiculous in the end. I remember X and I used to be hooked for the first two seasons watching it every Sunday night. When I see films/TV projects I usually go see it for the Director and Producer rather than the storyline. So when I realized that J.J. Abrams, created both (and direct the new Star Trek film) I figured I should give LOST a shot finally. Jennifer, my acting student, friend and fellow Texan, Had the first three seasons. So she loaned me those in return for bringing Season Four back to her. So I started about a week ago. I’m already on episode 3 Season 2. A week and a half and I’ve watch 24 hours of television. I find myself taking my laptop with me to watch an episode while I’m brushing my teeth, or tonight I brought it into the kitchen while I made dinner. Well I didn’t really make dinner, I just reheated left overs from the other night. But for me…that’s the equivalent of making dinner. Im amazingly addicted to that show. Its good fun. It helps the lonely nights seem not so lonely. I really shouldn’t say that. Im not very lonely. I do long for companionship and TLC. That will come with time. Perhaps the Czech? Im not sure. I didn’t talk with her yesterday. She’s a full time student trying to maintain her Summa Cum Laude status while working full time. So she has a busy schedule. So my mind immediately started playing tricks on me. I have determined that I am emotionally damaged…or fragile. That is why I get attached too easily and get hurt or insecure about very little. Perhaps I was damaged so much from the break of trust from my failed marriage. Im much more sensitive to everything now. I know most of the crap is in my head…but its still there. Is it an attack from the enemy or what is now just my growing neuroses? I don’t want it make it look like I’m a candidate for the looney bin, but I way over-react in my head to emotional situations when it comes to relationships. The good thing is that is where I keep it, in my head. I don’t verbalize my fears and I try not to enact self-fulfilling prophecies. So it’s a times like this, I have to remind myself that God is indeed in control. All things work together for good for those who believe and are called according to his purpose.
I went out to lunch with my friend Nabs today. This was the second time I’ve seen him since he got back from his North Pole trek. I had so many questions for him. It really did fascinate me. As I was shooting out the questions, I caught myself. Im such a documentary filmmaker. You would have thought there was a camera crew with me the way I was trying to elicit meaningful answers. The truth is I was actually quite fascinated. He had a lot of interesting stories. The main thing was I wanted to know if he’d do it again…it was a resounding no. Temperatures dropped to 80 degrees below zero (Celsius). My father asked why he wouldn’t take the trip in the summer. So I asked Nabs that. The summer heat melts the ice where it is still very frigid. So summer traveling though warmer is a lot more perilous. A few times, his teammate had his foot go through the ice in the thin parts. He was very fortunate not to fall all the way in. You fall in you die. Nabs made it though. I was very proud of him rooting him along every step of the way. He is quite the hero in Oman doing radio and television interviews. Now he plans on going for the Winter Olympics next year in the Biathlon. If he does that, he’ll be Oman’s first representative ever at the Winter Olympic Games. He’ll be another Jamaican Bobsled story. Im very proud to know him.
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