I had acting class today. Wednesday is always a bear of a day. I have my regular work routine, then acting classes til 10. Its always quite a tricky day but it gets easier and easier. Earlier, we were out scouting for a location for a commercial. This was right near my house, which happens to be by a Royal palace. We parked near an intersection by the palace and I was out checking camera angles when a policeman came upon us. We weren’t there more than five minutes. He told us we’d have to move our car and we couldn’t be standing near the intersection. Apparently the King of Jordan was flying in and had a meeting with the King of Bahrain. All traffic and activity stops. So I had to cancel the shoot for the following day because I didn’t have enough set up time. Bummer.
It was strange when I was teaching the children’s classes. They were so quiet and well behaved. I really didn’t know what to think of it. I didn’t have to yell or raise my voice or be mean Mr. Rick. With 17 excited kids, that was a first. Then again when they were unruly earlier they were just overexcited and glad to be in the class. Maybe the novelty has worn off now. But either way it was way less stressful for me. So then I taught the teen classes I really enjoy teenagers. They are on the cusp of adulthood and I just have a very easy time relating to them. Often times when I give acting lessons they turn out to be life lessons. When you take my classes Im part acting teacher/part life coach which is one of the reasons why I love teaching so much. It’s a lot of responsibility and 95% of the students love it. That’s a pretty good return. So I was recalling a time when I was in acting classes when I was in Grad school 18 years ago. There were about 20 people in the course. There was an exercise where the students were supposed to talk about their deepest darkest pain. This was intense. There were a lot of tears shed as each recounted various tales of abuse, drug, sexual, alcohol, ritual, rejection, divorce, heartbreak. It was very harrowing. But for me and two other guys in the room. Our tales were not as dramatic. Since I had a happy go lucky life up to that point my tale was the equivalent of ‘I skinned my knee when I was in high school.’ The other two stories were harmless as well. I don’t think the others in the class made the connection. The three of us with the bland harmless stories all came from Christian homes. So what did that mean? In this case, come from a healthy stable environment and avoid most of the nightmares. It works. Not coincidentally, the three of us were also the worst actors in the class. You act what you know. If you don’t know pain, you can’t replicate it. Try as I might, and I did try. I was never any better than a good actor. I wasn’t great. I was telling this to my teens, many of whom come from stable families that haven’t had much heartache. I said, I was a good actor until four years ago when I went through an excruciating amount of pain with my divorce. Now that I have experienced life on the other side, now Im a great actor. Pain graduated me to that honor. I think if you look at most talented artists, there is usually some deep seated pain that drives them. Then one of my students asked me a question that had me stumped. She said, this might be personal but…Why did you get divorced? Kids can get away with questions like that. My mind raced. As you know I talk about my divorce ALL the time. Its my ministry, I think. So what do I tell these kids, they are all only 12-16. How much do I tell and is it healthy for me to share that with them. I took a deep breath I said, “My wife didn’t want to be married to me anymore. I tried everything I could to save it, but it just wouldn’t work. She wanted to get away from me. And as a side note, Divorce is the worst thing in the world. If you get married never ever ever ever get divorced. It’s not worth it.” Then I moved on with the rest of the lesson. It’s a funny thing that word divorce. X and I were in a church service once with Jack Hayford years ago. Im certain she’ll remember this. It was a service on the power of words. Hayford said never ever ever utter the word divorce in your marriage. There is power to that word and by using it you are invoking spirits to attack your marriage. I believe that to be true. So now when I mention divorce its past tense usually, describing my marital status, or complaining how sucky it is. During the whole divorce process…to this day X and I never uttered the word “Divorce” to each other. She told me, that she filed, or that she wanted me to stay in Saudi Arabia, or that the thought of me being with her made her sick to her stomach and scores of other euphemisms…but we never said “divorce.” There has to be something to that.
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