What an amazing, absolutely, incredible day. I was gripping hard last night as you might have surmised by my blog. As I was crying out to God, he basically said “chill”. So that’s what I did. I was gripping because Miss So. Ca hadn’t talked to me for 24 hours and my mind was racing. So I thought it was over…what…after 24 hours? In the etiquette world of online dating, you never really break up, you just stop responding to emails or calling, most of the time anyway. The thing is…as a result of my divorce I am incredibly emotionally insecure. When I feel attraction to someone, any time there is a break in the routine, my mind immediately thinks the worst that Im going to be abandoned again. This is what I have to deal with. God knows my heart, pain and struggle. Im pretty stable in every other way…except emotionally. I think its going to take the unconditional love of the right one to help me get over that. In the meantime God knows my heart and is helping me through. He said…don’t grip…just wait and call Ms. So. CA in the morning. I did that…and there was a perfectly rational explanation for us not talking. Keep in mind we are not in relationship yet, but I have a tendency to get obsessive, I think because of my insecurity, and that has a way of pushing girls away. Im working on it. So God gave me some really great words both for myself and Ms. So. CA. Im in her life right now, for whatever reason to encourage her. God is using me to speak to her. What an honor that is…yet again. I feel like Im God’s microphone.
So after the call, I took the kayak out. I went a little farther than normal into the bay. Then I just stopped at the halfway mark. I just drifted and was quiet. God then flooded me with thoughts and impressions. That’s my time to talk to God now. Out in the sea, with nothing surrounding me but total calm. He told me and reassured me about so many things. He does indeed have a plan for my life. He also told me a great many specific things that are soon to happen. But I can’t share those details. Like Joseph shouldn’t have shared all the details with his brothers. So then it was back to the shore. I got into the office a little bit early and had yet another great conversation with Ms. So. Ca. We were trying to finalize my short little trip out there before I see the kids. I’m not sacrificing anytime with the kids. X has them on some sort of vacation July 3-5, so Im flying into So. Ca to meet her then, and then over to Houston. Emirates flies non-stop to Houston or SF or LA. So I just had to change my ticket.
OK…the best part is coming up. I had a really good day as an executive at work. We have a very good team in the office. I could just feel God’s wisdom guide me as we navigated through some difficult decisions. But then I felt compelled to call The Romanian. I haven’t seen the Romanian for two months. I do talk to her fiancé now and then, he wants me to live in his villa on the water. Its like a small dream place. I’m probably going to do it…but more on that later. He really wants me to live there as he is building a bigger place.
The Fiance is in Kathmandu, so The Romanian and I went to dinner. It was cool. She is one of my best friends on the island. As I went to the restroom, I told God, give me a word for the Romanian. God spoke to me, She’s going to be a mom soon. Hmmm…that’s interesting, so specific. The Romanian had not talked about that subject ever. So when I returned one of the first things she said was, I want to be a mom. Whoa…for the next 45 minutes God gave me the exact specific words to speak into her life. She’s such a good soul. She always had an awareness of God, because her Grandmother had always prayed for her. Never discount the power of a praying parent or grandparent. She was having such a struggle the past few weeks because it was the time for her to sellout completely to God. So after dinner I drove her back to my flat and led her in the sinner’s prayer. A basic prayer, God forgive me of my sins, I ask you come into my heart and be my Lord and Savior. She did it, repeating after me, and I could sense such a relief in her. It was so refreshing. So for any of you that doubt that there is a God. Here’s some more really cool circumstances. Just yesterday I was listening to the podcast from Cornerstone Church in Livermore (my home church in CA) and the message from pastor Steve was all about discipleship. He was exhorting everyone to mentor/disciple someone in the community. So I prayed a little prayer not expecting it to get answered. I said, God give me someone to disciple. Then BOOM, a day later the Romanian and I connect. It’s so cool the way that God is using me out here. Every time I doubt just a little bit, something like this happens with someone. Im quite honored and blessed.
Wow..what a cool day.
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