Keep on keeping on...

Another one of those days where 8 days of blog material happen in a day.  I was really upset last night about my children. And if you read the comments from X, she tried to make me feel even worse about it.  I think Im a pretty objective soul.  Those of you who know me, know that I’m also incredibly transparent with my feelings.  What you see is what you get.  Its part of my ministry.  For example, I was leading a small group tonight.  It was a bunch of South Africans…and me.  I shared, my pain, my vulnerability and the solutions and the comfort that God has given me.  Because I opened my self up about my own shortcomings, it gave me more credibility.  They were interested in hearing my solutions.  I know I made a big impact with at least one guy there tonight.  Im glad when God can use my pain to impact another soul in such a profound way.  Its easy to have joy and peace in your life when things are going well…but how easy is it to have when things are not going your way.  That is when we really minister to people. 

X brought up a couple things in her comments that I wanted to address.  I am not a liar…and I pretty much tell people what I think and who I am all the time.  If 80% of communication is non-verbal, and there is a time difference, and poor phone line/cell connection…yes things are going to get misunderstood.  I don’t want to get into a back and forth here…where’s the edification in that.  I tell people I worked in Hollywood for 10 years (1993-2001) so I rounded up to 10.  I didn’t think that was a big deal.  Yes…I did get fired from a lot of positions.  If I remember right…it was four…and that was at the height of my addiction to online adult material.  It was a very dark dark time in my life.  I failed as a Christian, as a father, and a husband.  But what the devil meant for evil God can turn for good.  I used that opportunity to reshape myself…rededicate myself to being the best Christ-follower, the best husband, the best father, and the best employee I could be.  Was the rest of the road perfect…certainly not.  I failed plenty of times after that, but still I was not defeated…and I did not give up.  They say success is 90% perseverance and 10% talent.  I never gave up.  I had been rejected and beaten down by so many people.  I should have given up years ago.  But I believed in myself and I believed in the calling that God had for me.  In part because of not giving up and living my life right, all that perseverance is finally paying off.  Im amazingly blessed right now.  But the blessing are all because of the grace of God.  He healed me and forgave me.  I was pretty messed up with the online stuff in the 90’s.  It was so new…and I didn’t really understand the power of addiction.  Its no excuse.  But now, I can help other men trapped in the allure of that world.  I’ll tell you its amazingly empty…but any addiction is empty.  So God has molded me through all my faults into the man that he has always designed me to be.  Im pretty excited about it.  OK…I feel like Im being rewarded for my three years of perseverance as I went through my personal hell.  But now…Im reaping the benefits of the seeds I’ve sown.  I live in a foreign country, life is an adventure, I love my job, People treat me like a celebrity over here (Im growing into a quasi-celebrity), My children are healthy, and I have a beautiful girl in Ms. Texas for whom I care very much.  Im leading several bible study/small groups…about to start leading a teen group at church, starting the acting school, leading a company of 17 that is growing despite the poor economy.  My professional future has never looked brighter.    I am incredibly blessed right now.  Its not my own merit that is doing it.  Its God’s grace.  So Im going to continue to do what Im doing in Seeking God first.  Because whatever I’ve been doing for the last three years it seems to be working like a charm.  If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.  I aint been broke for three years…Praise God.  So Im going to keep on keeping on…my way…with God’s guidance.  I know Im in the center of his perfect will right now.