Still holding back

I probably shouldn’t wait until so late to write this blog.  Im really sleepy now, but the problem is, I can’t sleep until I’ve written in it.  I think its an addiction or a compulsion.  I do have an addictive personality.  Im afraid, if I skip one day, it might lead to the next day then the next…then I’ll quit entirely.  I don’t want to do that.  Before I came over here.  I felt God very strongly impress upon me that He wanted me to write my book when I was here.  I thought it was a good idea.  Instead, I’ve been investing myself gladly in this blog.  Perhaps a book will come out of this, I don’t know.  Im not sure if anyone would want to read this book.  I also have this habit after I post to see who is reading.  Reji, who is back in India, for his month vacation, installed a reading/counter for this.  So I can see who is reading, where and when.  I guess that makes me like big brother, but I do so because I get so excited about the spread of this globe.  Speaking of Reji, he got into an accident on a motor bike (what are you thinking Reji, you’re old like me), and strained or broke his shoulder and hurt his ankle or something.  So he’s pretty immobilized and can only type with one hand.  So you might want to keep him in your prayer is if you think about.  Reji started this interesting Christian site that allows for chatting and discussion.  If you want to check it out its at ablazenet.com

I want to apologize again, Im holding so much back from what is going on this week.  I just felt it was prudent that I do so. Reji always tells me to do it this way anyway.    Its been a very difficult week emotionally for me.  I feel like the enemy is on full attack mode.  Im taking a battering from him in the ring, but I haven’t been knocked out just yet.  Wobbly yes, but I haven’t hit the canvas.  God has a plan through out all the crap Im going through.  That is the enemy’s tactic…to convince you that God indeed does not have a plan.  That is when the Fear Factor takes over.  Fear can steal your peace and joy faster than anything.  I really have to combat that.  God has brought me through so many trying times, He’s going to see me through on this one as well. 

Simi our receptionist was very sweet today.  One of our big clients at a recent decided to give our entire staff a gratuity.  I thought it should only go to the staff that worked the event, so I declined participation.  I think the gratuity wound up to be about $75 per person.  For some of the employees, this bonus is significant.  So Simi in her appreciation of what I’ve done for the other employees, bought me lunch today.  It was very very sweet.  I have such a fabulous staff.  We really are a big family.  There’s just that one or two that annoy you, like you have in most families, but even then, we accept and love them because they are on our team.  It’s a spirit of camaraderie that doesn’t exist at many places of employment.  Im very proud of the atmosphere and spirit. 

After work I went to see a movie.  Normally films take about 3-6 months to get here.  They are available on DVD here about the same time they are released theatrically here.  Yet in the summer the blockbusters usually have the same international release date.  So for certain films, I get to see them even before the U.S. gets to see them.  That’s because the weekends here are earlier.  So the major releases are usually on Wed. or Thur. the start of our weekend.  So we get them 1-2 days ahead.  That’s kind of a cool feeling.  I saw Angels and Demons tonight.  Its weird seeing a protagonist without a gun nor beating people us with his fists.  I was the first American…I think…to see Star Trek.  What an awesome film.  I wish I could had seen it with my boys.  I was a big Star Trek fan growing up…but not a trekkie.  When I lived in Los Angeles, I would always run into Walter Koenig, the guy who played Checkov in the original.  I think I lived near him.  I usually saw him at the AMC movie theater in Burbank.  I must have seen him about 10 times.  I just remember he had these huge sideburns.  I ran into a lot stars in L.A. living there for so long.  Im asked a lot by people here what it was like living in LA.  For me…it was just another city.  Albeit, the coolest city I ever lived in, but it didn’t hold that aura that so many people like to attribute to it.  So I think I burst a few bubbles when I talk about its ordinariness. 

After the flick, I went to see Jennifer in the hospital.  She had knee surgery.  She is one of my acting students and a regular at my positive living group.  I felt like a pastor visiting a sick parishioner.  It was a nice visit.  She is a sweet girl.  I want to thank all of you that have been praying for me.  I feel better.  But please keep praying for my children.  I don’t want to have to wait 10 years to be reconciled with them.  I miss them terribly.