What another tough emotional day it was for me today. I feel like my children are drifting away from me and its hard to fix that in my present situation. It really grieves me. I do miss and love them so much. This week is especially difficult. I really could use your prayers. Im getting hit on all sides, physically, emotionally, and potentially financially. It was in the papers today that Nader’s bank is in trouble. Its all part of the global economic crisis. Right now KSDi is stable through all of this. We are weathering the storm, but really it is a month by month thing with us. I have to believe that God will see us through. He has a plan and a purpose for me being here. I know there has got to be a plan. Even if the worst happens, I’m confident that God will see me through. That is just His nature. Come to think of it, the worst that could possibly ever happen has already happened so I guess I’ve already hit rock bottom no matter what happens. It’s the enemy that makes me want to be worried or be fearful. I just have to consider the lilies, for they neither toil nor they spin. It says “fear not” in the bible 365 times, it’s the most discussed theme. That is exactly what I have to do. God is control.
We have so many potential projects out there hovering, ready to hit at an moment. The second they do, we’re home free. In the meantime there is a little bit of nervous apprehension. I should know better than to be a little nervous because God has saved me in some pretty spectacular ways. So even though, Im just a tad bit anxious. Which I know is wrong and a sin even. Be anxious for nothing…Paul Says. I know my mother must be freaking out reading this. She gets worried about everything. I suppose that is what Mother’s do.
Im really tired again tonight as I had a teaching gig. Maybe I should rethink the teaching thing. I was told by fellow teachers that indeed takes a lot out of you, even though I enjoy it so much. With Back to back to back classes, I have to be “on” for nearly 8 hours, in addition to the 7 hours I previously put in at the office. No wonder Im wiped, even though I really enjoy what im doing . Im hoping to get enough interest in the class so I can have other teachers I trust doing the class. I need to be able to franchise myself. Im blessed that I have a talented team under me that I can trust with many projects.
I know everything is going to work out, but its just been a tough week for me emotionally. I will share the details soon, but its just not the right time right now. I don’t have a release from the Lord. Its interesting, because Im holding back a little , the words aren’t flowing like they usually do. When this happens, the blog is kind of a chore when I can’t share with you in my favorite stream of consciousness style. But this period will be ending shortly and I’ll be able to fill you in on all the details.
Please please please, pray for my relationship with my children and all the forces that might try to come between that relationship with me.
No comments:
Post a Comment