All about the transparency

What a day.  April is turning out to be one of the biggest months since I been here.  December was huge as well, but we weren’t ready for it.  We are ready, efficiency wise for April.  May is going to be big as well.  We are already jammed and I took a call yesterday to book a two day modeling shoot this weekend.  So God is blessing us over here.  My goal is to get over 50,000 BD ($125,000) in the bank for our cushion, because July-August are going to be lean months, everyone leaves the island because of the heat.  My team is really responding well.  I’m very proud of them.  Another one of my goals is to get the company extremely healthy financially so I can reward all of the employees with significant pay raises.  I believe that we are already one of the best paying firms on the island, but I want to do better than that.  The employees at my firm deserve that. 

I go to Greece tomorrow…Im very excited.  I’ve been getting a lot of responses on my facebook about people being jealous and such.  Im only going for two days, as I want to come back to teach my classes.  But still a four hour flight, staying with friends, it’s a pretty inexpensive but exotic weekend excursion.  Im so lucky and blessed. 

Speaking of blessed I feel compelled to make a little confession.  If you’ve been reading you know I’m pretty transparent here.  I believe God called me here for a purpose.  He is blessing me professionally, personally and spiritually so I can further advance His Kingdom and His truth here.  But im not perfect.  I screw up and I sin.  I want to confess that to you.  Now Im not going to get into the details in this forum, but if you want to know email me.  Usually the only people that take me up on that is my mom and AJB.  Now by the world’s standards what I did, was no big deal, but by my standards, I still sinned and fell short of the glory of God.  I am striving to be like Christ here…striving for perfection.  I will not get there…but I can try.  Now all sin is the same in the sight of God, a little white lie..equates the same as murder.  God sees them as the same and forgives them just as equally.  His grace is unmatched.  However certain sins have bigger psychological consequences.  A person who commits murder or adultery runs with that scar for the rest of their life, while a white lie is more easily overcome.  I heard a preacher once say,  God will forgive you teenager for your premarital sex but its not going to make your pregnancy go away.

  Im not proud, but I confessed, forsook it, and received God’s grace.  I confessed it to my accountability partner and Im moving on.  Now I felt compelled to tell you all that for a couple of reasons.  I have been complaining about X, and I want you to know that I’m not perfect.  So in a way some of my words may seem hypocritical but my heart is in the right place.  I slipped up and I have gotten back up.  Micah 7:8 says 8 Do not rejoice over me, my enemy; though I have fallen, I will rise again. Though I now dwell in darkness, God is my light.

 To much is given much is required.  I need to hold myself to a higher standard with no compromises.  The point im trying to make is that whenever I do sin, I wander out of God’s emotionally protective covering.  Since that happened I have found myself to be more bitter, more judgemental, more grumpy, and filled with less joy because I let sin creep into my life.  Now when I am living my life right, no matter what happens to me, emotionally bounces of me like bullets bounce off of Superman.  But when sin surfaces, that’s the Kryptonite that makes me vulnerable to all of the emotional heartache that God has been protecting me from.  It makes me wonder why I even screw up in the first place.  It starts with an inconsequential (it seems) compromise then just builds. 

Well…I feel good about myself.  I feel like im called to share everything in this forum.  Hopefully if you can learn from my mistakes, you might not repeat them.  I know I’m learning.  But the education is difficult sometimes.