Ok…lets get the bad news out of the way first. Well its not really bad news except for me. Its funny I was chatting with a friend earlier today that said I had a lack of humility. I guess they are right. Im pretty confident on purpose, but I try not to be cocky. I have to believe whole-heartedly in myself, which I do for others to believe in me. I mean Im a child of the King, so that gives me confidence right there. I don’t want to show any weakness. The confidence is genuine, but perhaps I do overdo it a bit to overcompensate for my lack of esteem that happened during the divorce process. That’s one of the things that I didn’t talk about with my divorce. It just kills your esteem. That’s why so many hurting people that go through divorce have a tendency to self-medicate someway because the pain is so acutely intense. Your security, your happiness, your idea of self, your children, often times your finances, your house all vanishes in what seems like a blink of an eye. Its especially worse when one spouse has been planning it for sometime. They emotionally prepare for it, while it catches the other spouse most of the time off guard. It hits them like a bag of wet sand right across the face. I have talked to many many many divorced people men and women. There aren’t a lot of books written about the subject. Like there are probably 10 times as many diet books as there are divorce books, but we don’t want to talk about it. But when the epidemic kills more than 50% of marriages, maybe we should start talking about it more…especially in the church. It would be an interesting study if someone could do an objective and honest study that if 10 years after the fact, the split couple would say the divorce was a good thing. My hunch is, unless there was abuse or continuous adultery or addictions, no. The grass always tends to look greener on that other proverbial side until you start stepping in the same dog crap that you had on your side. That’s one of the problems with the American dream. We do have the rights to life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But in today’s fast-food, instant winner, lottery style, get rich quick mode of the American dream, people want that happiness instantaneously. Sometimes it takes years to build, but only moments to destroy.
If you have divorced friends you always have to watch for the anger. In the people I’ve spoken to, the guilty party (while there is always shared guilt, one spouse usually takes the brunt of the blame) is usually the more angry one. Its funny how guilt often triggers anger.
Now when one goes through divorce, Its not like you just have to start over, but you have to start over in the negative. It’s a long road back to recovery. Many people Im sure never completely recover from it. Emotionally, at the moment, I feel Im as healed as Im going to be for this season. There are instances of pain, that I try to get out of my mind quickly, but for the most part, Im very blessed. That helps a whole lot. I think the complete healing will come when my children are reconciled with me, and I have a new wife to wake up to every morning. That will be very very nice. So I know my day is coming. So back to the confidence thing, yes Im confident again finally. That’s a huge step in the recovery process, so I may overdo it a bit.
I was invited by my friend Mr. Finland to play squash. I like squash its great exercise, and I thought I was pretty good. Notice the tense of that last verb. I also thought I was in good shape. I kayak every morning and Im as fit as I’ve ever been…or so I thought. Then the ball dropped and we started playing. The courts were overbooked, so we played a round robin style with six other players. It’s not that I got beat. Its just to the level I got beat. Actually one player really cleaned my clock. Dude was overweight, and my goal playing him was to just score a point. I did, I scored three..that’s it!!! The other games were more competitive, but I lost them all. At the end of the hour I was knackered. Now the kayaking in the morning is long and slow, smooth but difficult strain on the muscles and cardio. Its very effective for keeping me fit. Yet squash involves quick bursts of energy. I hadn’t played in two months, you’d think I had never exercised before. So I got a double great big heapin help of humility today. But you know what, I had a great time. I can’t wait to go back and play again.
Ok, now for the good part of my day. I took the trailer that I made (the one I posted yesterday for Funniest Person in Bahrain) to Bahrain Television. Oh…by the way, I kind of felt the heat today. It was upwards of 120. As I was walking around trying to find the building, I realized I was more than five minutes outside. The heat was making me start to perspire heavily. That’s the key when you are here in the summer, you get out of your car to your building as fast as you can. From one AC place to the other AC place. Today, I lingered, and I could feel it. It feels like when you stick your hand into an over to get food out. Not that intense, but the heat comes in waves which is a unique feeling. I don’t know how these poor laborers spend all day in a construction site working in this heat. It just must be unbearable…but they find a way to bear it, and send all their money home, which is just a pittance of what they could normally get in the U.S. at just minimum wage.
So anyway I found my building, finally and met with the head of Channel 55, which is the English channel of Bahrain television. He really liked what he saw. We had a very good meeting. I think he wanted to offer me a job, but I made it clear that Im representing KSDi. We are looking to go into a co-production venture with them. So he wanted me to take the show and turn it into a pilot. We’re going to present it to the overall head of Bahrain TV and Radio, sometime next week. I always thought we’d produce entertainment related programming at KSDi, but I thought we were going to start out big. I guess we’ll start out small and work our way up. Its nice having your work appreciated. It’s the journey of a 1000 miles, and today it began with that first step.
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