The Missing Puzzle Piece

Marriage the second time around is a lot different from the first go around. God only intended us to get married once, but **it happens (or Satan Happens take your pick) and 53% of us are divorced. Im approaching marriage #2 a lot differently than marriage #1. This is a bit unromantic, in fact its incredibly unromantic. But its my reality. Now, I love Jennifer, very very much. My friends are having a hard time believing it. They are all taking a “wait and see” approach to all of this. I completely understand this. But Im approaching it differently than most. You see God and I have these conversations. God has clearly told me, that Jennifer is the one for me. In fact, for the last three weeks, I’ve prayed about 10 times, God if she’s not the one, please send me a sign/roadblock to stop this train from moving forward. Yet each time I pray that, the opposite happens, something occurs that confirms to me that Jennifer is indeed the one. So this is a total God thing. Even my parents who have been skeptical of every single internet and non-internet relationship I’ve had post-divorce are incredibly supportive. They love Jennifer already and haven’t even seen her.

OK…back to the unromantic stuff. I touched on this in an earlier blog but it bears repeating. The first time I was married, Love was the overriding factor. Love conquers all, all you need is love, nothing else really mattered. I was young and incredibly and passionately in love. I couldn’t wait to be married. I did love former spouse and it was absolutely the right move to marry her. I have three wonderful kids to showcase because of that union. But we all know that only one of us believed in the ‘til death do us part’ part. So I had to make the best of a truly sucky situation. Perhaps love wasn’t just enough. Former spouse and I used to brag about how much unlike we were from each other. I thought love and faith were enough to overcome those many differences but apparently it was not.

Now as I embark on marriage #2, my last marriage by the way, I look at things a lot differently. Im not sure if its because Im wiser or not. I am picking out a spouse far differently than I picked out spouse #1. Love is a factor yes, but its not the “end all.” Its more like the second marriage is an arranged marriage. Jennifer and I both feel like it has been arranged and ordained by God. So there is extreme confidence in that. But part of the arranged marriage features is compatibility matching. Love doesn’t factor into most arranged marriages. Is this wrong? Well a 1% divorce rate will argue the compatibility validity. But people say a 1% divorce rate is because divorce is culturally unacceptable in India. Well…that’s great. It should be culturally unacceptable in the U.S. too, especially in the church. How can two people that profess to be Christian condone divorce…oh wait…I’ve already blogged about that. So back to compatibility. Love is a big big factor for me of course. But there is also demographics, psychology, history, emotions, and sociology to consider. Does my partner have kids? What is her spiritual walk like? How pretty is she? Is she stunning? Does she have a nice body? Is she funny? Are her parents still married? Does she hate divorce as much as I hate divorce? Is she passionate? Is she very sexual (within the confines of marriage?) What are her dreams, desires etc… That’s a lot of factors plus many more that combine with love. It was early on, probably the first two times I was talking with Jenni, that I realized that not only were we amazingly compatible, but we were simply a perfect fit for each other. Its almost as if God designed me precisely for her, and she for me. Its like we have a 5000 piece puzzle that she and I have both been working on. We have 4,999 pieces already in place, and just one puzzle piece missing. Jennifer and my relationship is like that missing puzzle piece. It’s a perfect fit in the only one place that it could possibly go. With that lone puzzle piece it is complete. Jennifer does have an amazing heart for God. I think she is gorgeous, has an incredible soccer playing body. She is amazingly passionate (I can tell) she has a great job, is an absolute braniac, has a good family (her parents have been married for 38 years), loves kids, loves my kids already (even though she has only talked to one) she doesn’t believe in divorce, She’s crazy about me. I could go on and on, but I don’t think you want to spend the the two hours of your life reading 50 single-spaced typed pages as to why Jenni is the perfect girl for me. Because of all the aforementioned factors, its very easy for me to declare that she’s “the one”. I don’t think…no…I know there is no one in the entire world that would be a better fit for me than the lovely Jennifer. Im very blessed and lucky to have her in my heart. We’re compatible…made all the more nice because we are in love. We also have better than a 99% chance (unlike the Indians) at making this marriage last like God had intended. We are both committed to the business side of the emotional partnership. We’re both willing to do whatever it takes to make this marriage last no matter what. This time there are two people that believe, for richer for poorer, in sickness and health, til death do us part. Jenni and I know that if we keep God the focus, that 99% turns into 100% and that is what each of us has been looking for our entire lives.