Well we got the official word that our budget for the pilot episode was approved today. This is very exciting for us here. If it goes, well and there is no reason why it shouldn’t. It could lead to bigger things. This is the type of thing I’ve been waiting my entire career for. I’ve had some success scattered here and there. But I’ve never been at the helm of a regular tv series. I know I might be counting my chickens. But I’m also speaking out in faith as well. God has brought me here thus far, there is no reason why he’s not going to see it through to its completion. I just feel incredibly blessed so far. I feel like Im already at the top of the world, when I have Jennifer out here that will be the icing on the cake. Really, I can think of only one thing that could be better in my life at this moment…more on that below.
I went to a small group meeting with my new church tonight. Everyone was about my age and super friendly. They were very inquisitive about the “new” guy. I told them Jennifer would be joining me in Dec./Jan. Then they asked about my kids. If they would be coming to visit too? Whew…how do I answer that? I don’t mind talking about my children or past as I think my struggles and frustrations is further evidence to God’s providence. I think my victories over some pretty heartbreaking circumstances help to give other people hope. But in a social/religious situation like that its pretty heavy subject matter. It’s not a one word answer nor is there a way I can sugarcoat the issue either. So I told them the truth, a mini version of my testimony. The loss of the relationship with my children really is excruciatingly painful but somehow, someway, God has given me a peace about it all. It doesn’t make sense from the natural realm. I love my kids so I should be devastated, but for some reason Im not. That doesn’t mean I love them any less. But I think that God has neutralized the emotional pain for me. It’s a little like relational anesthesia. It looks like it should hurt, but it doesn’t. Again, don’t take that as I don’t love them, because I love them to bits. Every once in awhile when I see other children that are my kids age, my heart will hurt. But I know that I know that I am in the Middle East for this time and this season for a purpose. That means that God will take care of my kids and me in his due time. After I told them the quick five minute introduction/recap of the last five years of my life, they were crestfallen. I had to cheer them up. Saying that even though my exterior circumstances were a struggle, I’ve never had more peace and joy than I do at this moment. Happiness will come and go like the wind. But my joy stays. My new pastor in Dubai explained it this way, Joy is internal and doesn’t get affected by outside circumstance. Happiness is solely dependent on outside circumstances. Anyone can be happy for a limited time. But Im not going to let anything or anyone steal my joy. His peace does pass all understanding. The good news for me, other than the parental alienation, I think my ex does a good job raising the kids. They are not in trouble, they get good grades, are polite to others. All around, they are good kids. So Im thankful that they are not in trouble.
What made me feel good is that the guy that invited me, told me that he had the same thing happen to him. But his daughter finally came around and now he has a good relationship with her. I’ve had countless people tell me that same story. So I know that God is looking out for me and for my kids.
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