The Birthday celebrated remotely

Today was a good day. Its my birthday. So Im in the process of getting dozens of well wishes (thank you facebook). Friends from High School, College, Univerity, Bahrain, Church, wow…I have a lot of friend groups scattered about. Im so very blessed to be loved so many friends and family. Im quite blown away by it all. But I have to admit despite all the wonderful greetings, its still bittersweet. Its those three messages that I didn’t get that are overriding the feel good. Oh that will come around eventually I know it will. But to get to that part, the waiting will be a challenge. I think God has well compensated me emotionally with Jennifer and the rest of my family. I do feel very loved…but that hole in my heart just isn’t filled quite yet. Someday soon it will be. I just don’t understand why there is so much bitterness and hatred in the world.

OK, on to more pleasant things. I couldn’t sleep last night. So i was in that in between state between being awake and asleep. Often in a dream like state I will think I see spirits hovering about me. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. Its interesting I see more evil spirits when Im not living my life right than I do when I am. I wonder if anyone else goes through this? We know that God spoke to many people through dreams, Solomon the one Im thinking of at the moment. So I think there is a sliver of a spiritual passageway open in the twilight area between being awake and asleep. So as I was lying there I had this amazing talk with God. He spoke to my heart and said ask me anything. So I did, I asked him loads of questions about my walk, my life, Jennifer, my career, my struggles, my kids. I ran out of questions actually, but He answered each and every one and I really felt like it was His voice. When hearing God’s voice, it takes practice to differentiate, your voice from God’s voice and the enemy’s. When I was done asking, God said, Go on ask some more. So I said, Who is going to win the World Series. He replied the Phillies, but don’t go to Vegas. So we kind of laughed about that. Isn’t that funny God having a laugh? If we are made in His image and we have a sense of humor doesn’t it stand to reason that he has a sense of humor too. I have some other stories about that I can share later. So if the Phillies do win, you heard it here first. This was before Halladay’s no hitter by the way. Plus, Im rooting against the Phillies, because I want the Reds to win. If not the Reds then the Rangers for my son’s sake. The answers God gave me to the questions I had were nothing new. They were just confirmations of the things I’ve been hearing all along. I think God longs to have the intimacy that He has with me, with all of us. But we are just too busy (self included sometimes) to slow down and listen. So it will be interesting to see if everything that I heard Him say, or thought I heard Him say comes to pass. I often counter in my conversations with God, but God that sounds too good to be true. He replies…I am too good to be True, but I am True. Even though Im alone now physically, Im not really. God and I are learning more about each other each day. I know I might sound like a wacko. People would say…yeah he talks to God, put him in the straight jacket. But that is why Im so forthright with what He tells me in this blog. Because it always comes to pass. I like to think of myself as proof that God exists. All believers should be living proof that God exists.

I did a televised interview today for one of our clients. I took a picture of myself because I don’t really wear suits all that much. I sent the picture to Jennifer and titled it “Birthday Suit” she was afraid to open in front of others, but then she laughed.

I fly to Bahrain tomorrow. Im getting up extra early so I can go eat in the Business class lounge and eat breakfast. I love being a Gold Member on Emirates. Im getting there early so I can go to my old church in Bahrain see Pastor Graeme, and other friends. Then its lunch and squash with Darren. Maybe see the Finns, and other friends. Im going to be finishing up a project for my old employer too. It will be nice to see the whole gang again. I have so many fond memories there. Im truly blessed.