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Showing posts from October, 2010

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What a great day this was for me. For all the sucky days of the past couple of weeks, it was nice to have a rebound day…filled with happiness…not just joy but happiness too. It all started on the wrong foot. I was expecting to be woken up in the middle of the night with a call from Jennifer. That call never did come. I was perturbed. I kept thinking “she should do this…she should do that…” and “I feel this…and I feel that…” So I called her and was ready to complain and get into an argument which could have led to a fight. She had fallen asleep and my call had woken her up. Just as I was ready to lay into her…she smiled…and my heart melted. I was still mad…but then she smiled again and again. Eventually I wasn’t angry anymore. But the real interesting part came about 30 minutes later when I was doing my talk with God. I said…”God Jenni should do this, jenni should do that… It’s not fair…” I was totally justified in my thoughts. But in that still small v...

Emerging from the blast zone

It was a really nice day. I think it was cool to get out from underneath the bunker of the blast zone. I had been hunkered down with all the attacks waiting for the blasts to clear. I have to say I’ve emerged relatively unscathed. Im sure there are going to be spiritual rewards for this too, but that is just a fringe benefit of being a believer. I think if this crap would have happened a couple of years ago it would have devastated me. Today it’s like I had to brush the dirt of my shoulder. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about particular people that were/are affected, rather, I have to concern myself about the things I can control. The rest I give it to God. The day started out with me having to set my alarm clock to get up at 8:30. I know rough life. I think God compensates us when things are going rough in order that we can focus on the brighter things in life. I have a lot of bright things around to focus on. Today for instance. I went to a production h...

Spiritual Novocain

Im sitting at the Dubai Marina Yacht club overlooking multi-million dollar yachts. Kids are playing in the fountains behind me and families are dining in the dozens or so restaurants along the marina walk as the sun dips behind the horizon. It’s a balmy 85 degrees outside and nice cool breeze coming by infrequently. What Im trying to say it’s a pretty nice setting. The past couple of weeks have been very challenging for me from a personal, emotional, and psychological impact. But I think Im handling the challenges exactly the way that God would have me handle them. I guess it’s a test. Last Sunday the pastor of the church I attend said that God never promised you an easy life. There will be problems. Living the life of a Christian is filled with struggles. I do agree with that. But what about part 2 to that. Part 2 is that even in the midst of the trials you can maintain your joy. The Joy of the Lord is my strength. God is working that out within me at this very moment. W...

Doubt

Doubt, I’ve really been struggling with this lately. I don’t have all the answers. It’s frustrating, as soon as think I have life figured out, something happens. One thing that stays the same, that stays constant, is God. It is I who moves back and forth. I think its seasonal to question your faith periodically and also very human. Its also one of the prime attacks of the enemy. After all its very human to be imperfect. I look back in Biblical history. The serpent tempted Eve with doubt. Using what she already knew and then twisting it around. Then you look at the children of Israel who witnessed first hand miracle after miracle, yet still they doubted. The Bible is full of illustrations of people questioning their faith. Peter when he denied Christ those three times after being by his side for countless works of wonder. I guess to turn in introspectively, I have seen God do marvelous works in my own life. I’ve listed so many of them here in this blog. B...

Two Hashbrowns before the launch

Its an interesting time in my life. I feel like Im at Cape Canaveral and the launch sequence has begun. Im just waiting for the countdown and the blast off. I’ve spent the last month here getting everything situated and prepared. Im not as busy as I would like to be, but that will all change Sunday as we go into production for a client. When I don’t have a lot to do, I hardly get anything done. When I have too much to do, Im ultra efficient and bang it out. I would rather be extremely busy than bide my time. That was my problem whenever I was in a corporate environment. I suck at looking busy. In fact, I am so rarely busy…ever. Im not sure if it’s a character flaw or a blessing from God. I just don’t get stressed. In my career, especially the last 10 years, I don’t think I’ve been busy more than a few months. I feel a little bit guilty about that. Is there something else I should be doing? I always meet my deadlines, and my career is moving in an upwar...

The Meaning of Life

I know I keep harping on certain subjects in this blog. I think its because Im discovering new things about myself still. I grew up in the church, been a Christian since I was four years old. There isn’t much about the Bible or God that I don’t already know. But still, I learn more and more every day. This morning was one of those days. Im in a routine now where I wake up (without an alarm clock isn’t that great.) I roll out of bed, start off on my knees consecrating the day to God and seeking power over whatever might tempt me. I think its called renewing my mind daily. Then I ask our maid for breakfast. I either take a shower or do emails. I don’t take a shower sometimes if I plan on working out, swimming, biking, or doing stairs later in the afternoon. At breakfast I read the Bible. Currently Im in Jeremiah. Boy did Jeremiah have a rough calling. I just read today where God instructed him not to marry or have children, not to go to any parties, or have dinner at people...

A new pilot and a new Bible study group

Well we got the official word that our budget for the pilot episode was approved today. This is very exciting for us here. If it goes, well and there is no reason why it shouldn’t. It could lead to bigger things. This is the type of thing I’ve been waiting my entire career for. I’ve had some success scattered here and there. But I’ve never been at the helm of a regular tv series. I know I might be counting my chickens. But I’m also speaking out in faith as well. God has brought me here thus far, there is no reason why he’s not going to see it through to its completion. I just feel incredibly blessed so far. I feel like Im already at the top of the world, when I have Jennifer out here that will be the icing on the cake. Really, I can think of only one thing that could be better in my life at this moment…more on that below. I went to a small group meeting with my new church tonight. Everyone was about my age and super friendly. They were very inquisitive ab...

A busy but productive day

Yesterday was a pretty intense day. I had to soak it all in, and let it settle before I moved on with the creative. Writing this blog does take a certain amount of creative energy. Whenever Im busy, it’s a little easier to write because the creative momentum is already churning. However, when I have work to do, Im starting to discipline myself to do work first then the blog. Since I had a ton to do yesterday and today, I thought it would be prudent to put it off. It’s a crazy thing about creativity and me. Its not an 8 hour a day job. I’ve never really been able to go 8 straight hours. It comes in bursts. I’ll work for about 3-hours creatively, but then be spent, mentally. I had to get up early to meet with the production company in Abu Dhabi. We were trying to get everything settled with the pilot before our main contact went on vacation. The good news is they approved the pilot so we’ll get going in December on it. There was a little wrinkle added. They want to do an Ar...

My butt is sore!!!!

I’ve been getting a little preachy on the blog lately. Its not really my main intention. I just kind of sit down with little forethought and what comes out, comes out. Im a little leery of preachy people too, other than pastors, since that is their job. My experience is the preachier a person seems to be the more they have something they are compensating for. I certainly don’t want to fall in that category. People talk about what they are passionate about. (Wow I just finished two sentences with prepositions and Im supposed to be a professional writer…sheesh) So if you ever want to find out what makes a person tick, just listen for their subject matter. I happened to be incredibly passionate about my faith, that’s why it always seeps through to this blog. I make no apologies for it. But just know Im not perfect, but Im striving to be. Im also passionate about the Raiders but few people want to hear about them. It was a hard day for me as I really miss my ...

Encounter with a Demon

I know I repeat myself a lot. There is a precedent. The Bible repeats a lot, (because we just don’t get it sometimes) and Im a Beeman. So repetition is inevitable as Jennifer is painstakingly learning. Im not sure if I covered this under spiritual attacks about 18 months ago or not, but it bears repeating. I mentioned yesterday that great Charles Stanley quote “If you are not bothering the devil, he won’t bother you.” So I guess I must be bothering him because I feel like Im under attack. The good part is that Im aware, and that is half the battle. There is a great line in the Usual Suspects, and I wish it were in the Bible. “The greatest trick the devil ever did was convince the world he didn’t exist.” Since All Truth is God’s truth, Evangelites, I’ll take that movie quote as truth. I woke up this morning somewhat quickly and refreshed. Which is kind of odd because I had been talking to Jennifer til 4 am. As I was about to jump into the shower to get ready for church, I ha...

Fallibility

Fallability. We all fall and we all sin. But how do we get to that process. You don’t suddenly just wake up and say, I think I’ll fall to temptation today. No one just stumbles into bed to have an affair, or steals from someone, or does a line of coke. It’s a small series of compromises that lead to a bigger compromise and then a bigger one. I think its like the frog in a boiling pot of water metaphor. You throw the frog in when its boiling it will jump right out. But slowly turn up the heat slowly and the frog won’t notice its slow boil until its too late and he’s dead. Christians are like this too….self included. I didn’t realize I was off track, until it was too late. But God is a God of grace and with a quick adjustment, it was business as usual. That’s the great thing about God’s grace. He doesn’t want to beat us up over our failures. That’s the job of the enemy. The enemy uses guilt and condemnation and that is a lot different than the conviction that God uses. A...

An American back in Bahrain, temporarily

What a nice day it was yesterday. I got so many well wishes from friends and family. It just really made me feel so special. But the highlight of the day was the gift from Jennifer, a very inventive and creative gift. Wow!!!! Am I glad she’s my wife! I really think Im the luckiest guy on the face of the planet. The gift was so poetic in nature especially if you know my backstory. I got up early so I could go to the Business class lounge at the Dubai Airport and eat breakfast. I did get there early and I asked if they could upgrade. The attendant then started working on it. She told me happy belated birthday after seeing my passport. She was the first person to wish me a Happy Birthday in person. I was touched. I was able to get upgrade but it took 45 min. So I missed out on my free breakfast in the lounge. I don’t think the trade off was worth it. I got on the plane and watched the Grapes of Wrath. I had never seen it before, but it essentially is th...

The Birthday celebrated remotely

Today was a good day. Its my birthday. So Im in the process of getting dozens of well wishes (thank you facebook). Friends from High School, College, Univerity, Bahrain, Church, wow…I have a lot of friend groups scattered about. Im so very blessed to be loved so many friends and family. Im quite blown away by it all. But I have to admit despite all the wonderful greetings, its still bittersweet. Its those three messages that I didn’t get that are overriding the feel good. Oh that will come around eventually I know it will. But to get to that part, the waiting will be a challenge. I think God has well compensated me emotionally with Jennifer and the rest of my family. I do feel very loved…but that hole in my heart just isn’t filled quite yet. Someday soon it will be. I just don’t understand why there is so much bitterness and hatred in the world. OK, on to more pleasant things. I couldn’t sleep last night. So i was in that in between state between bein...

Back to Bahrain this weekend

Im headed back to Bahrain this weekend. It has me a little reflective. Bahrain was a great era in my life. It was the starting over part for me in Life Take 2….as I noted in the past. I was there for just under two years. I poured my heart and soul into my spiritual, personal and professional life there. It truly was an experience for me. Even though it was just under two years, the memories and friendships I made there made it seem like almost 10 years. But about a year plus into it, God spoke into my heart that Bahrain would not be a long term thing for me. He was right about six months after that I was gone. Before that happened though, I was so confident that God was moving me on, I moved in with my friend Pat the basketball coach. I told him it would only be for a month and that I just had to wait on God. That month turned into six. But Pat was gracious enough to let me stay on longer. Finally the call came and it was time for me to move. So even th...

A Delight yourself in the Lord moment

It was one of those life-defining moments. Come to think of it I had a lot of those lately. Let me go back a bit. I just finished do a script, budget, and production schedule for one of our pilot shows. This is going to be a good one. I have learned its kind of hard to do a budget in a foreign currency. Not only do you have to factor in the currency exchange, you have to adjust to the local labor rates. What surprised me about Dubai are that the rates are very similar to rates in Los Angeles as far as Film/Video production is concerned. Its kind of like learning a foreign language. But once I figured out the local rates the rest was like fill in the blanks. I’ve been doing this awhile now, and its fun and easy for me. I walked across the bridge to the Marina walk. This is different from the beachwalk that I normally go on. The marina has tons of multi-million dollar yachts and many sidewalk cafes. I spotted a Johnny Rockets yesterday so I headed back ther...

Equipped to Thrive

I think God equipped us to survive and thrive in the region where we originally grew up, climate wise. I think Alaskans can withstand the cold better than someone from texas. On the same note, I don’t think Alaskans would fare too well in Texas. I remember when I was in Taiwan, I just was so overheated in the humidity with the summer’s there while my Taiwanese friends rarely even broke a sweat. But when winter rolled around, I was in a short sleeve shirt at 60 degrees as content as I could be while they were in their earmuffs, gloves and parkas. They thought I was crazy. I grew up in California so really the only weather I ever grew accustomed to was near perfection. I was spoiled as a child in almost every sense of the word. That brings us to today’s events. I have never ever complained about the weather. Because think about it. What does complaining do besides make you more miserable than you already are? Plus it makes the people surrounding you miserable ...

The six month delay

Today was my day off and I slept in. I stayed up late talking to Jennifer til 4am. There is an eight hour time difference but we are managing to still communicate through it. When daylight savings hits, Im exactly 12 hours before PST, which makes it easier to calculate. They don’t do daylight savings time here. Because of the heat, the faster the sun goes down the better. That is why there is such an amazing night life here. The weather is starting to cool just a bit. What I mean by that is its down to 90, but it was incredibly humid today. I slept til 11 then piddled around the computer. I have no television so the internet is my outlet. I really don’t need television that much. If there is a show to watch, I’ll rent it on itunes or grab the DVD. I was all excited to go to the mall today. I run to the metro, which is about a 10 minute jog 20 minute walk. When I get there Im pretty sweaty, but there a lot of sweaty people here, so I don’t think I sta...