Warning: More moaning, griping and bellyaching ahead...

Warning:  More moaning, bellyaching and griping ahead…

OK… lets get the Middle East update out of the way so I can really chat about what is on my heart and really tormenting me.  Even though there is such abject poverty and extreme divisions of wealth on this prosperous island…there are absolutely no panhandlers/beggars/homeless people.  Not a one.  No one has their hand out.  Its pretty amazing when you compare that to the west.  I was in small little cafeteria today…which consists of a guy standing behind a burner.  I got an Egg and Cheese sandwich for 0.50 cents.  It was delicious.  As I was leaving a thought had occurred to me.  Im making a modest wage here by U.S. standards…but by the standards of other foreign nationals like the Indians or Sri Lankans, Im making immeasurably more.  Its like Im Warren Buffet or Bill Gates walking around the U.S. by comparison.  Yet with all that comparative difference in wealth, not once have I been approached for a hand out nor once have I felt threatened that I was in danger. 

My thing is Diet Coke…as those of you who know me.  Yet here…they serve Coke Light which isn’t as good…it tastes sweeter than regular diet coke.  But…im adapting.  I gave Priyesh the office boy, about the equivalent of $25 to go buy me a case.  The cokes are about the same price, $4 for a 12 pack.  So when I told him to keep the change…he didn’t understand me.  He doesn’t speak very good English.  He is the lowest paid member of the staff only making $250 per month…yet he’s happy with that.  Its more than what he would make in India by 5 times.  So…when I told him to keep the change, it just didn’t compute.  While it only was $20 on my end…on his end…I was giving him nearly 10% of his monthly salary.  Now…im not saying…oh look at Rick and how wonderful and benevolent he is.  Rather, just how easy it is for wealthy or blessed Americans to be a blessing, just by giving little things away.  I really do have strong aspirations to be ridiculously wealthy.  Nothing brings me greater joy…than by giving it all away and that’s indeed what I would do.  Of course…I have to pay my credit cards off before I really shift into the Mother Theresa mode.  Im still trying to get rid of my Americanism that way. 

OK…those  of you that know me…know that im a fairly decent, nice guy.  Yet, in this whole ugly divorce thing…I’ve been demonized somehow.  I think it’s a fairly common occurrence with most divorces.  I’ve learned to live with it…and let God do my battles.  But when the battle starts to affect my children…or those who I love…it bothers me.  I gave up the fight for my kids to come visit me…as I didn’t want to drag them through an ugly legal battle.  So to keep some semblance of the Beeman influence, my parents, who are great great people by the way.  They love and spoil their grandchildren.  They wanted to spend Christmas with my kids.  So since its my year and I can’t come back just yet…they offered to fly all three children out from Texas to California and then back.  So…just so you don’t think im crazy…here’s a copy and paste of the email that I sent my ex…and her response.  Please let me know if im crazy or overreacting. 

 

11-16-08

After much prayer and speaking with the kids. I have decided not to pursue legal action in order to visit the kids this summer. I certainly hope and pray we can be amicable and reasonable in the future to avoid this sort of conflict. We have to deal with each other for the next 10 years approximately so lets try to keep the acrimony to a minimum.

I will not be able to fly back at Christmas due to my just beginning at this new job. However, my parents would like to spend Christmas with the children since it is my year. I would like them to fly out to California to spend Christmas there and then fly back at the designated times. Would you be willing to drop them off at the airport? If not, i can arrange proper transport. But im sure the kids would rather have you drop them.

I hope all is well with you.

Rick

 

And her response…

 

Yes it is YOUR year, not your parents.  Max talked to you yesterday, tried telling you that they want to visit your parents, here in Texas, for a few days.  Max told you Friday-Monday, and when we asked him if that was really long enough he said he would actually like to stay until Tuesday so we agreed to that.  We DO NOT have to accomodate your parents, but we feel it is important to have them in the kids lives, so do not ever say we are trying to hold you or your parents away from the kids.  So Friday after school until Monday the 21st at 2pm it what Spencer said is ok from him, Max wants Friday until Tuesday and 12pm, and Lindsey would like to visit with them Monday stating at 10am and ending with Spencer at 2pm. Max also says that if this if whined about or if he keeps getting nagged about this like you tend to do then he is going to just take the extra day away and leave with the other two on Monday.  We will not be transporting the kids from our house, but will pick them up as we are supposed to stated in the decree from YOUR residence.  Again, this visit will take place in TEXAS or not at all. 

 

This is not an open offer for your parents to visit on your designated weekends.  It is the holidays and we think it is important to spend it with family so that is why we are agreeing.  We had previously made arrangements for them to visit this weekend with the kids, but that was not accepted, and it is in the decree our weekend.  In the future, if your parents want to visit here in Texas on one of your weekends, it needs to be brought up at least 6 weeks in advance. 

 

So, Friday the 19th after school for Max and Spencer get picked up from our house.  Lindsey gets picked up at our house at 10am Monday the 21st.  We pick up Lindsey and Spencer from your house at 2pm Monday the 21st.  We pick Max up from your house at 12pm Tuesday the 22nd.  This all happens in TEXAS.  

We were already making plans to go away for this week with the kids, so you need to tell Max today if this is ok with you. 

 

OK keep in mind…there are two sides to every story.  Its also not very fair that she can’t tell her side in this forum…but if she wants to move to a foreign country, start a blog, and showcase all of my shortcomings…I won’t get in her way.

Many of you have emailed me praising me for my transparency. I prayed about whether or not I should write about this…and overwhelmingly thought I felt inside was that it was ok for some reason. 

I believe im in the midst of an amazing spiritual battle.  The ways of the enemy are consistent.  If the enemy can’t get you one way…he’ll try another.  I hope its obvious how much I adore my children and how much it hurts being away from them.  The enemy or I should specify devil…and I mean the one with the red horns and pitchfork just to clarify, knows he can get to me by my children.  He is getting to me at times. That’s why when you guys email me…I always say pray for my children.  The enemy comes to lie steal and destroy.   Im sure on the other side of the world…the other family is feeling quite justified with their choices and actions.  But remember…”A man’s ways is right in his own mind…but God weighs the heart.”  I say that when I look in the mirror just to be sure im being honest with myself and not blaming others unnecessarily. 

OK…im done ranting…if any of you are still with me…I’d love to hear your thoughts.  I want to know if im wrong or not. 

I promise to speak more on the Middle East next time…