sleep, sleep, and more sleep.

Sleep, sleep and sleep…

Not much that was eventful happened today. I got two days in yesterday and just relaxed today. Saturdays are turning out to be the non-activity day for me. And that is ok. I cherished the opportunity at first. I work a lot during the week so I don’t get a lot of sleep. So I try to make up for it with one day. Rolled out of bed at about noon. Headed to an Irish pub for breakfast. Had this amazing traditional English Breakfast. What makes it English, is they have this strange sort of English Bacon, which is a cross between Ham, Canadian Bacon, and regular bacon. Not sure where on the pig they get this from, but it is delicious. It reminded me of when I used to live in Saudi. I lived next to this British compound. All the brits hung out there, because you could get bootleg alcohol and pork there. Every Friday, I would go for the English buffet. It was the highlight of my week until the Saudi authorities found out about the place. It was closed up soooooo fast. I missed it, so this place reminded me of that.

I turned the TV on for a couple of hours today even. That was the first time since I got my 1500 channel dream box. I figured, I worked hard, so I deserved to just waste some time. But the more I watched, the more depressed I got. I went to dinner at this great pizza place around the corner. I live next to this street called “American Alley” Its right next to the navy base and its filled with all type of Western oriented food. I love the restaurants there. I sat outside on the patio just enjoying the weather. For the past month, the weather has been just spectacular. It feels like San Diego here right now. Temperatures hovering around 75-80 with no humidity. Except, they have the metric system here…I have been struggling to make the conversions in my head.

As I was eating my dinner and reflecting on all that God has done for me. I got a bit anxious. Even though, im living this amazing life right now full of adventure, potential, fulfillment, the fact remains that Im still alone. I don’t like being alone out here. If I had someone I cared about it would be different. I think if I had a spouse or even a girlfriend I’d be on absolute cloud 9. But there is just that gnawing feeling that something is missing. Someone special to care and share it with. Its times like this that I bemoan the fact that im divorced. Its just ironic that one of the many reasons why my former spouse says she divorced me…was because I was financially unstable. Which was absolutely the case. The entertainment industry is screwy that way. The irony of all that is…as soon as our divorce was final…my career has skyrocketed. Im making good money and have more potential future income than ever. I think she pulled the plug too quickly, but again, it only takes one person to decide to get a divorce. So even though Im living the supposed “single” man’s dream lifestyle, its still just a tiny bit empty. I’d trade everything I have and dig ditches if it would bring my family back. But that window has been closed. Now God is trying to get me to start over and quit looking in the rear view mirror. I think this is the feeling that Adam must have had when he said its not Good for man to be alone. I know im walking according to God’s perfect plan, and that plan will work out in his timing and not mine.

I did meet a girl…no not the Romanian..another one. She’s cute, funny, energetic and loads of fun. But there just isn’t that feeling that the relationship is “right”. I don’t want to settle. Its very tempting to have a relationship, just so I won’t be lonely. But that I think would be incredibly selfish on my part. I don’t want to have to date again, to play the market, and to snatch a bride. I just want a short-cut. But I don’t think that is going to be the case. I guess I just have to trust God on this one.